"Hurry up, fatass!"
Jay, Bess and Silent Bob were running across the mall. They had to get away from the Easter Bunny as fast as possible before LaFours, or any other security guards could get them. Hopefully, none of them would apprehend the group if it looked like they were leaving.
Unbelievably, that same guy was still standing by the entrance, looking at those abstract image posters. 5 hours after the mall opened, and that guy hadn't moved from that spot. He really seemed hell-bent on looking for the sailboat in the picture. This was just sad. This guy needed to be put out of his misery.
"I'll tell you, what you need is a fatty, boom-batty blunt", Jay said, getting up in his face. "Then, I guarantee you'll see a sailboat, an ocean, and maybe some of them big-titted mermaids doing some of that lesbian shit."
Silent Bob rolled his eyes, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket. This hapless dude was none of his business, so he had to occupy himself somehow. Might as well try the Jedi mind trick again. As Bess watched, a girl came running, grabbing onto Silent Bob. This was the same girl that Brodie was talking about earlier, his ex! What did she want with Silent Bob, though?
"Dude, you a mad chick magnet!" Jay noticed.
"Brodie…" Rene panted. "TS… security guards… under arrest… they need help! Go!"
Bess gasped as Silent Bob grabbed her wrist, pulling her along as he and Jay went to go help their friends. What were they going to do to help Brodie and TS? This could end with them getting arrested and Bess knew that was going to end terribly. Her father would beat her within an inch of her life, never allowing the mute girl to see Jay and Silent Bob again.
"Dude, give me a weapon", Jay said seeing their friends.
"This is illegal!" TS said. "You can't arrest us for nothing!"
Outside the mall entrance were the two boys, LaFours and four other security guards. Looked like they were playing dirty when it came to arresting TS and Brodie. LaFours took off his hat and reached inside, pulling out a bag of weed. That corrupted security guard was carrying pot with him this whole time!
"Ohh, alright", Brodie understood what was going on. "I believe when Mr. LaFours here turns us over to the police, the bag of contraband he "found" on our persons will give them more than enough reason to keep us locked up."
Silent Bob reached into his coat, pulling out a metal bat. Was that how LaFours was so good at getting people arrested? He planted fake evidence on them? With his image of the most feared security guard shattered, the mute man handed Jay the bat. With LaFours distracted, Jay swung the bat, knocking the bigger man in the back of the head, sending him falling to the ground.
"Come, son of Jor-El! Kneel before Zod! Snoochie boochies, asshole!"
Jay ran off, distracting half of the guards who pulled LaFours back to his feet, giving chase. Silent Bob snuck behind the other two security guards, grabbing them by the necks. Right away, the men dropped like stones, allowing Brodie and TS to pull free.
"Vulcan nerve pinch?" Brodie asked impressed.
Silent Bob nodded, grabbing the guards' keys, unlocking the handcuffs on the two boys. With all said and done, the mute grabbed Bess' hand. They weren't out of the woods yet. They still needed to avoid the security guards. Bess let out a scared whine as Silent Bob pulled her down the walkway. Everyone was surprised to see the heavy-set man was able to run faster than four fit guards.
The two mutes caught up with Jay, using the bigger man's speed to get the three of them around the corner to the loading docks, straight into a dead end.
"What the shit are we going to do?" Jay asked, looking at the two mutes.
Trying to think of something, Silent Bob reached into his coat, looking for a solution. Bess and Jay were stunned when the man pulled a vibrator with a rubber finger cover, buzzing loudly out of his pocket. Silent Bob shrugged in embarrassment and tossed the toy aside as Bess looked at him with wide eyes. Jay went around the corner, seeing the guards still running toward their location.
Silent Bob reached back into his coat, not giving up. This time, he pulled out a fully inflated blow-up doll, once again, stunning Bess. Just how much was the man able to keep in there… and why was he keeping some of that stuff in there?
"Come on, we're fucked!" Jay said not seeing any way out of this predicament. "They're right behind us! Come on!"
Finally getting an idea, Silent Bob opened up his coat to reveal a utitlity belt around his waist. From his pocket, he pulled out a grappling gun, just like in the comic books.
"Yeah, badass!" Jay cheered him on.
Silent Bob pulled Jay close and aimed the hook toward the roof. Right away, Bess wrapped her arms around the mute's neck and her legs around his waist. The gun fired, the hook wrapping around a beam on the ceiling, allowing him to connect the gun to the utility belt. Jay and Silent Bob wrapped their arms around each other as the rope pulled them up toward the roof, out of sight of the security guards. All three were quiet, waiting for the men to leave. Silent Bob and Jay looked down, seeing the guards run off, continuing in their search.
"Where do you get these wonderful toys?" the blonde stoner asked, kissing his friend's cheek out of gratitude.
Bess on the other hand was keeping a tight grip on her so-called boyfriend. Her body was shaking and a whimper could be heard coming from her throat.
"Too high… too high…"
