So it begins. I just thought that's their strategy... how idiotic.

If Subaru cannot last until Halibel arrives, then the Calamity will happen regardless.

It sickens me that I'm forced to be a spectator for what they may do to my sister... however, I already made my move.

The only question remains if those so-called gods will continue meddling if Subaru is triumphant, or perhaps he may cause a different type of Calamity on his own.


Emilia, stop struggling...
"Stop, Reinhard. Why are you doing this?"

We are almost there.

"Lady Emilia, please relax. I assure you that the Sage Council will release you once you are confirmed to not be a threat to the Kingdom and the world."

She looked at me with both disgust and anger. I am a knight. I do what I am told.

"Reinhard, where are you bringing me? This is not how a knight is, blindly obeying orders regardless of the reason... nothing separates you from a criminal if you can't make decisions."

What is her point? I can make my decisions, but I have to ensure the Kingdom's safety...

"I'm bringing you to the Sage Council to be questioned like I've told you. We are almost there. I restricted your use of magic with the handcuffs that prevent you from using your mana to cast any form of magic. Please answer their questions, and I'm sure everything will be fine."

Hopefully, this will calm her down. I don't want to do this, but the threat of the Jealous Witch returning is not something I can ignore. My actions are justified. Nor am I unable to form my own decisions...

I walk up the stairs, and the full Sage Council is present. Oh, right, I must deliver the message that Subaru requested.

I bow, "Greetings honored members of the Sage Council. I have completed the assignment requested. However, I have a message that Subaru Nakamura requested me to give you. He stated that if Emilia is not returned within five days or less, unharmed. Then I will leak the information regarding the multiple deaths of powerful figures within the Kingdom to neighboring nations. He also stated that it was not a threat but a safety measure. That is all."

I hear Miklotov argue with Bordeaux... Subaru never did anything to wrong me, so it's fair if I request that the terms be followed as they told me.

"I also would like to be insured that Lady Emilia is treated in accordance with how you told me. Five days of questioning and release. No violent or inhumane actions should be allowed against a Royal Selection candidate."

I watched as Bordeaux stopped his argument with Miklotov and returned his attention to my request.

"Reinhard, you do not have the right nor authority to request that. The fact that a member of this half-demon was so bold as to threaten the Kingdom of Lugnica itself, I am ashamed you did not execute for that."

Execute? He stated it wasn't a threat... why would he even be concerned unless...

"I assign you to keep monitoring Subaru, do not make direct contact, but if he does intend to leak information that could threaten the Kingdom, you must prevent it even if you must kill the spirit he is contracted with. Do you understand?" Bordeaux's voice echoed throughout my head.

"Yes, I understand. I will leave Lady Emilia here for you to question."

As I walked away, I felt... like I was making a mistake.

I am a Knight who follows orders. A weapon. That is all I am.

However, I am the Knight to Lady Felt, and I doubt the Sage Council will care if I bring her with me.

I must ensure she is safe.


It's been a day... nothing has changed.

No information I gain helps. I hate this I'm fucking powerless.

I hate this sensation, not knowing if she's even alive. I hate this Kingdom for doing this to me.

Four days yet time feels like is has stopped. I hate this life.

I've spent so many hours trying to think of something I can do yet everything I come with ends in failure. The only thing I can do is wait... wait to either learn if Emilia was killed I just-

[Flashback Starts]

"Why did she have to die? Why couldn't I be the one"

*BANG*

*BANG*

*BANG*

Why does everyone I care for die? Why can't I be the one to die?

I try to live a normal life but this curse whatever causing this I just don't get why I can't die instead...

Why am I the only one that brings death to everyone I love.

I'm a disease... I just want this life to end why can't I just die?

I tried when my parents died to end my own life and failed... is that how useless I am?

I need to break of this bathroom.

I'll slam my head in this wall until whatever is keeping in here breaks or my skull breaks.

*BASH*

*BASH*

*BASH*

I'm out.

My head is bleeding but skull didn't break.

Maybe one of them survived?

I walk over to the the blood pool around what was my girlfriend.

My two friends are also dead...

I turn around they left a gun.

I walk towards the gun and pick it up, put it to my head and fire.

Why didn't it work?

This gun jammed?

What fate is this hell I live?

'This world is cruel, but blaming yourself for everything only makes you a coward. Afraid of the truth of the nature of humanity and the world. If you fear those you care for will die, become a man who won't allow such things to occur. If you think you are cursed, you are nothing more than a stupid brat trying to escape reality.'

[Flashback Ends]

"Subaru, are you ok?" I hear Beatrice ask me.

I look down. I'm on the ground.

My mentor saved me from the thing on Earth, but how long will his words bring me comfort?

I just need to get up... even if she dies, I still will destroy everything that caused me that pain.

If I need a reason to continue to live for four more days, that's enough of an explanation.

"Subaru?" Beatrice asks again

I get up, "I'm fine," my voice fading as I said it.

"Subaru, I don't know if this is a good time to tell you this, but... Reinhard and Felt are waiting outside."

What? What the fuck does he want?

He can burn in hell for all I care... but maybe I can use him?

If there's a chance, I won't give it up.

I won't let another person I care about die because I love them...

"Let them in."

My vision was cloudy, not the best if I wanted to achieve something from this.

I must regain control. I cannot do anything if I can't control myself.

I look around, the couches, the things she used to say she loved about this place... it's all just empty.

'I let them in. Get it together, Subaru. I don't know what's happening with you, but this isn't you.'

'The vision you have of me, Beatrice, is a lie. I bring death and despair to anybody unlucky enough to love me.'

'Subaru, that's a lie. Do you not realize I love you? I don't love you the same way Emilia does, but I care for you more than anyone else. I am not dead, and the only despair you're bringing me is seeing you like this.'

As usual, I'm selfish and neglect the people around me. But I can't argue with that logic. If I can prevent a future where she dies, I'll give my worthless soul or anything else to achieve it.

'Thank you, Beatrice.'

'Now go talk to our Reinhard and Felt and act how the Subaru I know would act.'

Felt... from what I remember, she was in a low-income area. Now that I think about it, I motivated her to be in the Royal Selection.

How can I use that?

I should stop delaying this conversation.


Judging by how they treat me, the Sage Council must think I will be executed.

Chains, torture, just like what I did or tried to do to Subaru when we first met.

They put something over my head, so all I can do is hear and feel this 'torture' they're trying to do to me.

I can only imagine what Subaru felt when I tried this on him.

"Admit it already. You're the vessel for the Witch. If you admit it, I can guarantee that Subaru will live."

What a joke. As much as I hate to admit it, I doubt we could live without each other.

I hope he's doing alright.

"Answer me, you stupid half-elf."

I don't care. He can torture me until he kills me.

The only thing that scares me about dying is how Subaru will react. He'll lose it.

"I'm going to try using fire magic now. If whipping you doesn't work, maybe burning you will."

Do it. I don't care. He's asking me to admit to something so he can kill me.

This is the dumbest integration. It's just pointless...

What is this feeling... something is healing me?

My body feels completely normal compared to moments ago...

"Hello?" I mumble, wondering what's happening.

"I forgot why I was here. Sorry, let me go back and ask what I must question you about."

What the? That was the voice of whoever has been 'integrating' me.

I already think I know who helped me, but I still don't know why...

A voice whispers, "It shouldn't be long."

It was her. Pandora.

I don't get it. Will she ever tell me the truth?

Will she ever tell me what happened or why she cares for me?


"Subaru, are you alright?" Reinhard asks me.

Why does give a fuck if I'm alright? He should know the goddamn reason I'm not...

Relax. Clear emotions. This a game I need to win.

"Yes, I'm fine. I shouldn't act like I'm fine, as that won't benefit me. I see you brought Felt with you as well," I reply with a relatively normal voice.

It's annoying when how you have to act is already how you feel. It's straightforward for the act to become real.

I look at the small blonde-haired girl and the Knight who took Emilia away from me and is now ordered to stay here. Fucking bullshit.

Well, if he's here, I'll break his concept of his knighthood. Better yet, I'll do it in front of the person he seems to desire respect from the most.

Felt stared at me for a moment replying, "I heard what happened. I told Reinhard he's a fucking dick for doing that to you and Emilia."

What? Wait... I forgot. She hates this Kingdom as much as I do. This is... better than I could imagine.

However, I'm sure Reinhard is used to Felt's comments. It's time to see if I can create something he can't refute.

I nod at Felt, "Thank you, I think we both have the same beliefs on this Kingdom. It's a fucking corrupt shithole."

First, I make Reinhard think I'm saying the same things as Felt. Once he tries to argue with me, I say what I've been waiting for his reaction to.

Felt nodded in agreement.

I can tell Reinhard wants to say something. What should I say that'll force him to argue against it...

"I wonder, Felt, if you weren't picked by the dragon insignia if Reinhard would care about you as he does now."

I used a genuine questioning tone, asking as if I was curious about her opinion rather than even bringing Reinhard into this conversation, but I will admit... I'm being sloppy compared to usual.

I looked at Felt. She was thinking about the scenario. It's a domino effect question. If you know someone won't treat you the way they do without something you dislike occurring, which in Felt's case was her being a candidate in the first place, then this question has merit.

Judging by Reinhard's body language, he's nervous about this coming response. He can keep a stoic face, but his body will show his intent regardless.

Felt regained eye contact with me, "I never of that. I guess I'd just be in the slums still..."

Now comes the response.

"Lady Felt, even if you weren't a candidate, I'd still care for the same. I promise you that."

Checkmate.

I raised my head as if I was being affected by Reinhard's words, then replied, "Let me ask you this. If you were ordered by the Kingdom to execute Felt before she was a candidate, would you do it?"

Felt looked at me in shock but then changed her facial expression. She's much more intelligent than she looks. She must understand what I intend to do with this.

"I would not execute her. How could you imply such a thing?"

I turn my head and disagree, "Reinhard, you are a slave to a corrupt Kingdom. Whether you can believe it or not, if the Sage Council ordered you to execute or imprison Felt before she was a candidate, do not lie and say you wouldn't. From what I remember, your just a knight who follows orders... a pity justification for inaction when you're fully capable of doing so."

Reinhard turned to me and looked genuinely mad, "Why create a hypothetical situation like that? What is your point?"

He's clueless. A slave.

"The very fact you didn't deny my statement proves you would've done so. That is my point that was just proved. A person with the power to end this Kingdom's corrupt and dishonorable system, yet you decide to be a slave to it instead. The sad part is I doubt you can change. Maybe if our positions were reversed, you might, but I still doubt it. If the Kingdom told you to kill the innocent, you would do it because you don't view yourself as human you view yourself as a weapon."

I've figured this out since I noticed how he acted strange around Wilhelm. Although this is about a 70% likelihood of being correct. I'm yet to be familiar with many factors in this world, but this is the best way to describe this man.

Judging by his body language and eye-axis cues, I was right.

Now it's time to drop this. It's not helpful to have a broken knight. He will have to teach himself the issues with this pathetic Kingdom.

"But regardless, I had a proposal to ask you, Felt. Assuming Emilia doesn't die due to Reinhard's actions, I'd like to form an alliance with you. The terms are fairly simple, regardless of who wins, since I don't care, we will agree to end the corruption within this Kingdom."

Felt and Reinhard both looked at me, shocked. I can tell Reinhard has too many things going on in his right now to think correctly. Felt is most likely considering I said, 'Assuming Emilia doesn't die.'

It's honestly surprising I've managed to keep my emotions in check for this long.

I look at Felt, who seems done thinking. She turns her head back in my direction, "I'm game. But Subaru, you can't hide it from me. I may look dumb, but I grew up in the slums. I can tell ya barely keeping it together right now."

What? Did I fail again? My hands there shaking... regain control. Regain it. I'm so close.

Maybe I'm not.

This shit again... great.


"Reinhard, what's the matter with him?"

He just collapsed...

"REINHARD, HELP HIM"

Whatever is the reason has to emotional. He didn't collapse due to physical causes.

I should touch him and sense what he's feeling.

I reached my and tapped his wrist.

[Reinhard's POV of Subaru's Emotions Start]

Everything I love dies, everybody, I care for dies. Why do I continue?

'Just give up and sacrifice it all to me I will destroy those who hurt you'

I don't care. I just want this cycle to end. I don't want her to die.

'I'll wait until you see her dead, and then you will become me'

[Reinhard's POV of Subaru's Emotions End]


So uh Reinhard just got mind fucked basically.

He used the Divine Protection of Empathy on Subaru which makes him sense what Subaru's feeling.

Just imagine Reinhard doing that with the Witch of Envy or something as a comparison.

And yes Felt is smart. Well, Subaru was also barely keeping his sanity the entire time but Felt could see through him in that state which basically broke his guard I guess.

Writing Re:Zero suffering without RBD? Simple just Subaru has to deal with something worse.

Only those he cares about can die and it's his fault.

Good way of doing suffering without RBD in my opinion lmk what y'all think