11 years ago, Human World

The sound of the obnoxious screeching of the bedside alarm clock awakens the young groggy teen. Reaching out from underneath her covers and proceeds to slap the snooze button. Continuously missing the target before managing to hit the button and slithering her arm back underneath the blanket to try and catch a few more winks.

BANG BANG BANG!

"Rachel, get your ass up now!" Her father's voice boomed loudly in the apartment, accompanied by his fist pounding on the door.

After being forced to come back to this place late last night, with her mother, Rachel didn't want to get up and face him.

At the time, Rachel had dyed her hair black, still smelling the chemicals she used the other day while she and her mother were on the run. Her pale attempt to disguise herself.

Rachel pushed her hair out of her face as she sat up on the bed. Rubbing her darkened eyes from poor sleep before forcing herself to get up out of the bed, throwing her on whatever clothes she could find before dragging her feet to the open area.

Her mother was standing over the stove cooking up breakfast while her father was sitting at the table. He casted her an ugly look as Rachel walked in the room.

"When that alarm goes off I expect you to be up as soon as it goes off, this isn't the damn Marriott. Doesn't mean your lazy ass stays in bed. " Her father grunted.

Rachel doesn't say anything as she sits down across the table from him.

Annoyed, he slams his hand on the table, causing both her and her mother to jolt in response. "Hey, respond to me when I'm talking to you! "

Her hands were underneath the table, she glanced at him and nodded. "Yes sir. " She said softly.

Mom turned around with food on some plates, she turned around and Rachel stiffened, seeing the fresh bruises and cuts on her mom's face. She watched her mother serve the plates to them, her hands shaking to the point the forks were rattling.

As the mom went to set the plates down, she tripped on a snag of the rug and fell forward, accidentally spilling the hot food all over her dad.

Dad jumps up with a shout. "You stupid bitch!" And he backhanded his wife, causing her to fall with a shout.

Rachel got up from her chair and shoved him away from her. "Back off of her!" She snapped.

His anger turned towards his daughter, his eyes nearly black and void of emotion lunged at her, grabbing her by the shoulders.

"Stop it you two just stop! Damian please!" The mom cried and begged the two to stop as they tussled in the small kitchen. Rachel tried to get away from him but her father was relentless.

When he did let her go, he punched Rachel squarely in the face, causing her to fall to the floor and blacked out.

As she was coming in and out, she could hear her father screaming incoherently at the two women, red faced. Her mother tried to wake Rachel up but Rachel couldn't really hear them as her ears were ringing.

When finally coming to and one of her eyes was swollen shut, Rachel wobbly stood up with her mother's help.

"Now get the fuck out of my sight, little girl." Her father then said after his yelling before going down to the bathroom to clean up.

Rachel glared at his direction as her blood began to boil, heart began to thump loudly in her chest. Her knuckles turned white from squeezing her fists too tightly, nails cutting her soft skin.

How long do she and her mother have to be put up with this mother fucker? The yelling, the insults, the abuse? How long do they have to suffer by his hands?!

Everything else seemed to be a blur as her mother led her out of the home, not remembering if she said goodbye to her or not.

Rachel felt her body moved automatically towards the sidewalk that would lead her down the street towards the direction of her school.

As she made her way to the sidewalk, Rachel looked at the cherry red truck of her father's. His most prized possession than anything else in this dark world.

Such pristine condition, not even a scratch or a nick. Always clean and in tip top condition.

Neither her or her mother were allowed to even touch it without his consent which was never for as long as she remembered.

With what just happened inside the home, combined with the years she and her mother had endured with no help from anyone.

Rachel all of the sudden turned back towards the brick home, went over to the tool box that was placed on one of the two trash bins and pulled out an utility army knife of her dad's, flicked the blade out before going over to the truck and crawled underneath it.

Now she had no knowledge of mechanics or vehicles, only seeing her dad work on it, she took the blade and stabbed the undercarriage, cutting and stabbing anything that was of useful for her improvised plan.

Her thoughts were that once her dad gets in the car and goes to work, he'll get into a horrific crash. Her and her mother would be free of him, won't cry at the funeral because this bastard doesn't deserve tears.

He doesn't deserve to breathe in the same air!

After she finished tampering the truck, she closed the blade, tossing it in the bed of the truck. "Have a good day at work, mother fucker." Rachel said coldly before rushing off to school.

After a few hours later and dealing with kids at school, Rachel decided to cut class and wandered around a bit.

"Damn Nancy and her stupid friends. They can shove their gossip columns up their twats." Rachel grumbled to herself as she walked down the busy sidewalk.

When she came up to the scene to see the crashed truck and the police and firemen surrounding it trying to open the door up, Rachel stopped and watched. She felt her heart in her throat, thinking what she had done worked. Anticipating the freedom she would feel once seeing her father dead once and for all.

But freedom was not what she felt once the firemen pulled the mangled body out of the truck, her whole life shattered once she saw that it was her mother.

"Mom!" Rachel screeched in horror as she ran up to the scene, running through the caution tape before being grabbed from behind by the police to try and hold her back.

No…

NO NO NO!

WHAT HAVE I DONE?!


Now…

Spike didn't say a word. He recalled the couple of times Rachel practically praised her mother, remembering how much she meant to her. He didn't say anything and let her continue. But truly, this was not what he thought he was going to hear from his mate as she called it. The emotion behind her words were gut wrenching, the kind one cannot fake.

She opened her eyes but didn't look at him, seeing her hang her head in shame.

"The wreck my mom was in was caused by me. My dad was supposed to die in that wreck but instead…" Rachel shook her head. "Ever since that day happened, I have regretted it. A great woman lost a life because I-I did something so…so fucking stupid. It's all my fault…"

She did it, she finally told the truth to him.

Spike waited a moment before saying, "What you say back on the cruise…" He didn't know how to say it, but like true mates they were, Rachel knew what he was trying to say.

"Only two people, besides you now, know what I did. Brimstone and my Therapist, Psyina Colt. Those two helped me come up with a story, an explanation on how I got my scars, making it so believable that even I can't tell if it's a lie or not when in fact it was." Rachel explained. "And you know me, I'm a terrible liar."

"Your scars, so he did blame you and that's why he did them?" Spike asked.

She let out a humorless laugh. "More like remind me what I did, what I failed to do. Dad knew exactly what I did and what I tried to attempt, like he was bragging." She said, hand reaching around her back and just barely touched one of the scars she could reach on her back, rubbing in memory, feeling the hot scolding metal digging into her flesh. "You know the rest." she muttered.

Spike stared at her for the longest time, thinking back the nightmares she had, her saying that they both had their demons when he revealed what he did for her. It explains everything really…

She rubbed her face with her hands and Rachel continued. "I know what I am, a hypocrite. I hid the truth in order to have some sort of a functional life. I'm a massive bitch who barely has any control of her anger, I killed the most important woman in my life. I'm not perfect, no matter what you or anyone else says." Her voice cracked as she cried. "I'm damaged, broken, I don't deserve you or anyone else…I mean look what I have you do?"

"What do you mean by that?" Spike asked, narrowing his eyes at her.

Rachel finally looks at him as tears streamed down from her face. "Spike, you killed three guys for me, for what they did to me. And many others after. Being with you has caused all this mess we're in. Blueblood's doing what he's doing because of me. The attack of the Friendship Castle. All of it was because of me. I'm fucking cursed, I'm complete garbage!"

Spike stood up, backed away for a moment before shaking his head, scratching the scales on the back of his head, thinking about what he's going to say before saying, "That's not utterly true. What I did to those guys…" He said. His gaze hardened as he stared at his mate. "If you weren't my mate and I was with someone else, I'd probably be in the same predicament."

"What?" Rachel whispered.

Spike nodded and continued. "In dragon culture, any dragon who takes in a mate is bound to be protective. Down to taking out anyone who threatens them or touches them in any way, shape or so. If I was with anyone else, I'd eventually find my way doing what I did anyway. You just happen to be my first." He walked back over to her and took a seat in the chair in front of her.

"What happened back then, yes it was very fucked up, but you were put in a situation that drove you to that moment where a life was taken. Granted, not the one you intended. You were a child when it went down, but you know what you did was wrong. I've seen your scars, the multiple bone fractures you had from your father's abuse."

"I can never forgive what I've done." She spoke softly. "I wish I could take what I can back. To apologize for everything…"

"This is something you have to live with. There are Time Travel Spells if you want to go and correct the past but I highly don't recommend it. Rach, what you did was wrong, but you're not broken. You're not a bad person, you made a horrible mistake, and judging by your old wounds, you suffered because of it. BlueBlood on the other hand, I got a suspicious feeling he would've pulled that crap on us even if you weren't here." He then reached over and grabbed her hands. Held them firmly in his. "We both did things we're not proud of, but it does not defy who we are. For these eight months we've been together, what actions I've done, even after you finally opened up to me, I wouldn't change anything about us. You're smart, kind, strong, stubborn as hell, witty, can shoot arrows and kick ass like no pony else I've known."

That got her to snicker.

Spike then let out a heavy sigh then. "Despite what I now know, there's nothing I want changed, you are who you are from your experience. You are stronger than you think… What happened with your mother, there's literally nothing I can say about that."

She nodded, hands shook in his but it was not as bad as before. "I still don't understand why she was even inside that truck. Dad specifically told us not to go even near it. Let alone drive it."

"Regardless, just so you know this Rachel, and I mean I want you to drill this into that thick, beautiful skull of yours…You are not alone."