A/N: Wow! I haven't updated in forever! I'm really sorry, I've been very busy. And I've had bad writers' block. But anyways, I came up with a couple of ideas, and I hope you enjoy them!

Oh yeah, and you know how much I like reviews, don't you? Well, I'm going to do something special: next chapter will be dedicated to all my reviewers from this chapter, plus the ones that have been continuous readers who like, reviewed every chapter, plus people who gave me an idea that I used. And, I'll randomly pick a reviewer from this chapter (depending how many reviews I get, I'd prefer it to be a new reader, but if not I'll just pick from everyone), that gets to pick what the next chapter will be about! And, they'll get to be in it if they want!

If you also are one of the people who reviewed a good portion of chapters, because you are all so awesome, if you would like to be in the next chapter, just let me know and I will try my best to work you in. No guarantees though, it depends on the idea that the person gives me.


Oh yeah, and I'm also really stuck on
A Period of Time in the Life of Baby Sasuke, but I WILL NOT discontinue it, seeing is as it's one of my personal favorite stories and it just makes me smile to much (yes, I am really confident in myself.), so any suggestions for that will be greatly appreciated. And anyone who suggests will be like, the greatest person in the world.

So anyways, enjoy chapter 17 of Naruto Characters Say the Darndest Things! (Wow, almost up to 20!)

Chapter 17: Coconut Oil and Team 7 Meets Hobo Joe

Okay, so here's what's happening: Team 7 is on a mission and it is really friggin' cold out. Like, -20 degrees. (A/N: It was actually colder than that one night by me.) So anyways, Team 7 is thinking of ways to stay warm.

"Hmm…"

"We could start a fire?" Sakura suggested.

"You do know we're in a log cabin right?" That was Sasuke's reply.

"So?"

"There's a good chance that it'd catch on fire."

"Ugh…"

"Ooh! We could dump boiling coconut oil over ourselves!" I don't think that I have to tell you that that was said by none other than the poster-child of dumb blondes, Naruto.

Kakashi spoke up, "I don't even want to know where you got that idea, Naruto."

"Wouldn't that burn us?" Pinky inquired.

"Pinky, that's a good nickname. How the hell did your hair get that color, Sakura? That can't be natural."

Sakura just gave Naruto a death glare.

"My theory is that she had red hair and then tried to bleach it, and it went horribly wrong." Kakashi said that with a smile.

As you can probably infer, Sakura was well beyond pissed right now.

"I'd punch you, but my hands are too cold."

"Dip them in boiling coconut oil!"

That was just too much for Sakura. She was so mad that she completely forgot about the current temperature of her hands and slugged Naruto into a state of unconsciousness.

About an hour later, Naruto came to. Everyone was shivering. Naruto opened his mouth, but was immediately stopped by Sasuke.

"Don't even think about it."

Naruto licked Sasuke's hand.

"EEW!!!" He wiped it on Naruto, who just stuck out his tongue.

"Uh… we should probably all get some sleep," the gray-haired jounin sensei said.

So they all went to bed. When they woke up, however, it was much warmer than the night before and was well beyond the pleasant temperature range.

"Good God, it's hot out!" Sakura exclaimed.

"Well, you could—" Naruto was cut off by Kakashi.

"Naruto, does this involve boiling coconut oil?"

"It involves taking your hands out of boiling coconut oil!"

"Yeah, no. Don't say it."

"Ugh. Fine."

"You know what? How could it be so cold last night but be so hot this morning?"

"Because we're in the desert, dobe."

Naruto glared at Sasuke.

"No one asked for your smartass comments, ice princess."

It took a lot of self control for Sasuke not to punch Naruto. (Hey, it's called being the better person. :) )

So anyways, they went out to do what they had to do for the day, and then got back. Obviously, it was nighttime and therefore very, very cold.

"UGH! It's so frickin' cold!" the blonde exclaimed.

All of a sudden, a person appeared out of nowhere.

"Hobo Joe says when you're cold, to dump boiling coconut oil all over you!"

Naruto looked ecstatic. "See, I told you so!"

A crowd appeared behind Hobo Joe. "Well howdy ho, Hobo Joe!" they all shouted cheerfully.

"Okay, all but the hobo, LEAVE." Sasuke said. The extreme temperatures must have gotten to him, because he was definitely way more less "pleasant", if that's what you would like to say.

"Who are you?"

"Well I'm Hobo Joe! I travel around the world giving advice to those who need it!"

"Well, why the HELL did you just advise us to dump BOILING COCONUT OIL over us?!"

"Because it's the easiest, quickest way to warm yourself up!"

Naruto stuck his tongue out.

"Get. Out. Now." Sasuke said to Hobo Joe.

"Well fine then!"

A/N: Well, that's it! It definitely was one of my longer chapters. I hope you enjoyed it! Pretty please R&R! (Suggestions for this story and A Period of Time in the Life of Baby Sasuke would again, be greatly appreciated and make you the best person in the world.)

That's all for now!