:--;; Chapter Three

:--;; Chapter Three

I followed the shadow of the hawk, glancing up every so often to make sure that I was following the correct shadow. Anticipation laced through every nerve in me, making me jumpy and excited. I imagined Whisperpaw's soft voice murmuring her praises for me when I brought the hawk back home to the Camp. I imagined Thornpaw's jealous glares that were shot towards me when Whisperpaw admitted that she had been in love with me all along. I even went as far to imagine that the whole Clan would congratulate me and would hold me in higher esteem.

Suddenly, a cry awoke me from my thoughts. I skidded to a halt almost immediately, alertness suddenly filling my eyes. That cry was familiar. Very familiar.

"Icepaw!" I cried out. I paused for a while, cocking my head to listen. After a few moments of silence, another cry filled the area. Springing up, I immediately began running in the direction of where Icepaw's voice had come from, accelerating speed quickly. As I neared the area, the fear-scent got thicker. Suddenly, as I came to a stop at a rock, there he was. Icepaw.

He was drowning. The waves of the water raged against each other, frothing with the wind tossing them about. Icepaw's head submerged from the water for a few seconds then was almost automatically covered up again by more waves. Fear caused my eyes to widen, and I stood there, staring in disbelief. Icepaw. Drowning? The most cautious cat out of the whole litter?

I had to do something, yet I was rooted to the spot, a look of horror frozen on my face. "Icepaw…" My brother's name came out in a hoarse whisper. I had to do something. Something. Something. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Coiling down and putting my weight on my hind legs, I sprang up into the air, fear pounding in my heart.

The first thing I felt was the slapping of the icy waves hitting me, the force of it rushing through me. I opened my mouth to breathe, but got water instead of the oxygen that my lungs required. I coughed, spitting out the water. Breaking through the surface of the water, I looked around wildly for Icepaw, my eyes burning from the water. "I-Ice-p-paw!" I stuttered.

I kicked out furiously against the current, my paws moving rapidly as I lashed out, trying to get to Icepaw. Almost there… almost… almost… If I reached out a paw, I could touch his pelt. Moving closer, I sunk my teeth into my brother's pelt, dragging him towards the shore of the river. Every single limb in me quarreled with the continuous flurry of waves. More than once, I lost grip on Icepaw and had to dive back down and retrieve him. I was losing strength and energy fast, and I almost felt as if I couldn't go on. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe.

Somehow, one way or another, I made it to the bank of the river with Icepaw in tow. I collapsed, unsheathing my claws to dig in to the mud so that I didn't slip back down into the fierce waters. I was too tense. I needed to relax and loosen my muscles. Slowly, I began letting loose my tightened jaw muscles. Something slipped from my grip, and a weight was lifted. I gave a deep sigh of relief.

Suddenly, my head shot up. Icepaw! My head snapped to the side, a horror-struck look inhabiting the features on my face. I watched as my brother's lifeless body tumbled down the shore, sliding through the mud, and slipped into the water.

"No!" I cried out, struggling to stand up. A paw came down hard on my back, causing pain to shoot up and down my spine. I looked up, my senses dazed by the pain and helplessness I felt.

"How could you?" a voice growled in my ear, a tone of pure rage in it. I knew that voice. It couldn't be mistaken, no matter how hard you tried.

Thornpaw.

I struggled against Thornpaw's paw, attempting to summon up enough strength to get up and face him. With Thornpaw, it was always better to speak with him when standing up and looking him in the eye. Still, it seemed as if all my strength had vanished, leaving me as helpless and weak as if I were just a newborn kit. The frustration of this caused anger to pulse through my veins, as well as defiance mixed in to it. Defiance against Thornpaw, that was. How could he just treat me like this? Had he not seen that I had just nearly drowned?

I lay there, fighting against the weight of Thornpaw's paw that kept me down. I was in the midst of thrashing about to try to get away from him when the whole entire thing just dawned on me. Me saving Icepaw. Icepaw half-dead. Icepaw dead and tumbling back down into the lake.

The crushing impact of this fact suddenly weighed down on me, and I let out a strangled cry of despair and anguish. Icepaw. My brother. I had killed him.

"How could you?" The words were repeated again in the same, harsh voice. The weight on my back increased even more as Thornpaw pressed down harder on to my spine, causing me to wince. "You killed my brother," he added in a hiss. Even though I couldn't shift my head to look up at him, I could feel his green eyes burning into my pelt, his eyes formed into a deep glare that was of pure hatred.

"He's… my…" My words caught short in my throat, my breath coming in shallow pants. "…Brother…" My grip on the mud began to slip. "…As… well…" Oh, StarClan. Help me. Please. I was slipping… slipping…

"I should just let you fall back in and face the same death that my brother faced, but I won't take a life off of this earth, even if it is a life that doesn't deserve to live," Thornpaw hissed. I felt his teeth sink into my pelt, and I felt him dragging me along the ground, with no sensitivity towards how my head was throbbing and the rest of my body aching. The scenery around me began to blend together, the colors mixing. The lights began dimming, and black bordered the edges of my vision. Icepaw…

Millions of visions of my brother flitted about through my mind. Icepaw eating. Icepaw bringing in fresh-kill. Icepaw… all the images flooded into my mind. Then, in the midst of all these pictures, one thought hit me.

I had lost the brother I had never had.

With that lost thought floating about in my mind with nothing else distorting it and allowing me to think of other things, I blacked out.

--

My eyes fluttered open, but shut halfway almost immediately after the light streamed in, too bright. A gentle breeze whispered through, brushing lightly against my pelt, adding a nice coolness to the den that I was in. The smell of herbs wafted to my nose, its scent sweet and gentle all at once, the fragrances soothing me. Forcing my eyes open again, I waited until my eyes adjusted to the golden rays that streamed in. Breathing in deeply, I raised my head.

"Not so fast now. You should still probably rest, sugar," a voice meowed in a light voice, her tone nonchalant and airy as if nothing had happened to me. A tail stroked my right flank in a calming way, and I knew instantly by the touch who it was.

"Saffronpaw," I meowed in a voice that seemed almost grateful sounding. Indeed, I was happy to have Saffronpaw here, since she was my very best friend in the whole of the Clan. Born two moons after I, she had not yet experienced her assessment.

Assessment! My head jolted up, and I winced from the pain that shot through. Stormgale? Duskfall? Whiterose? Doveflight? Where had they all been when I was trying to save Icepaw?

"Whoa there, Stonepaw. You gotta rest. If you don't, Aspenpaw's gonna go and practically kill me," Saffronpaw told me, gazing down at me with her yellowish amber eyes that seemed to shine with their wisdom. Despite the fact that her voice was kind, it was still filled with authority that made me listen. I lay my head back down on the moss, part of the springy moss that formed my bed here in the medicine cat's den.

"Stonepaw, hun, can I tell you something?" the silvery colored she-cat meowed. When I gave a slight nod of my head, she continued. "I don't think like the other cats in the Clan do right now. I believe that you didn't kill Icepaw, and that it was just fatigue that came over you. Don't listen to what Thornpaw and the like say. Especially don't listen to Whisperpaw."

Whisperpaw! My head shot up again. "Whisperpaw?" My voice came out faint. Don't listen to Whisperpaw? Since when would I feel the need to not listen to Whisperpaw? Her clear, bell-like voice that came out in such a soft, whispery tone? The beautiful silver-blue eyes? The pure, snow-white pelt?

"You see, sugar, I'm sorry to say this, but Whisperpaw's got her heart completely set against you."