For Spencer

Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds nor any of it's characters.

"Promise me you'll never forget me, for if I thought you would, I'd never leave" - Winnie the Pooh , AA Milne

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William Reid sat down at the bar and ordered a double scotch rocks and replayed the events of the day in his head. Less than a hour ago he watched his only son get into a black SUV and drive away.

Their goodbye had not been emotional. They didn't touch or shake hands, William wanted to hug him but he remembered Spencer didn't like to be touched. He told Spencer again that he was proud of him. Spencer's face was unreadable. That handsome face that was so much like his mother's; he was tall and thin like his mother too. Too thin.

Spencer had stood staring at him, the emotion he had displayed earlier was now neatly tucked away. Will Reid gave him his home and email address. Spencer took them, but didn't offer his own.

"You already know where I live."

William Reid smiled and for the second time in seventeen years, he said goodbye to his son.

Will swirled the ice around in his glass, Seeing them both had brought back so many memories, both good and bad. It had been so good to see Diana again, to see her in her briefly lucid state. She was still beautiful, but by the time they had got her back to Bennington her eyes had begun to glaze over and she was eyeing him suspiciously.

Spencer's words at the police station still echoed in his ears. 'you could have come back, you could have started over' those huge eyes looking at him and that child-like plea nearly broke his heart.

He couldn't tell Spencer the whole truth, that he had spent ten years looking for answers in the bottom of a bottle of Scotch, He didn't want his son to know about the binges, the blackouts, He didn't want Spencer to know how weak he really was. Due to the generousity and support of the law firm he worked for, he had kept his job. He pulled the alcoholics anonymous token out of his pocket, seven years he had been sober, seven years! He still attended meetings. He clasped the coin in his hand.

He wished he knew more about his son, not just the stuff you can google, but his thoughts, his feelings. Was he happy? Did he have someone in his life to love? When he first saw those FBI agents and they said they were there about his son, he felt sheer raw terror. He had thought something terrible had happened to his little boy. All those years he still pictured Spencer as a little boy. He was terrified it was too late, that Spencer was gone from him forever.

Then suddenly there he was, standing in front of him, a grown man. He silently mourned the time he had lost.

William Reid looked down at his untouched glass of scotch, neither drinking it nor pushing it away.

'Well old friend, I guess you still don't have the answers, do you? '

He did know one thing for certain, there were still some amends he had to make.

Fin

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AN: Please let me know what you think about this. I just had to have a better reason for William's abandonment, I'm new at this fanfiction stuff. Thanks.