Hoot
Chapter 8
He automatically turned off the light, and ran back to bed lightly, throwing on his sheets, pretending to snore. Alec settled back down. Roy tried again to control his racing heart. He knew he wasnt getting any sleep tonight.
Roy shifted in his bed, throwing his hands up in exasperation, and running them through his hair. He was frustrated. His mind was going a million miles an hour, and he couldn't think correctly. That's it. He thought, throwing his covers off once again. I'm taking a walk. He nearly jumped out of bed, throwing on a plaid shirt over his tank top, and threw on a pair of khaki shorts and tennis shoes. He quietly exited his dorm room, making sure he wouldn't wake Alec.
He stepped out into the midnight moon, and it was surprisingly bright. He felt the warm breeze whisper across his skin, teasing his goose bumps. He took a deep breath, relieved to get some fresh air. The air was just enough to help clear his head some. But right now, he needed to think, to finally make everything clear to himself, and make a decision of belief.
Roy decided to walk along the beach. He took off his shoes, and stepped onto the cool sand, his feet sinking into it, making an imprint. He looked out into the clear night sky, watching the pale full moon, and the waters below it. After a few minutes of no thought, he let his mind wander back to the dream. Was it fact or fiction? He thought to himself, creasing his eyebrows. This has never happened before.. What could it mean?? He was having a hard time understanding it all. Everything. He missed Mullet so much, could that be it? Could it be his imagination, mocking him? Is he just burying a deeper hole for himself? He closed his eyes, tilting his head back, taking a breath. He felt the cool water rush over his feet, sending a chill through him. He walked up the beach a little more, and took a seat on a patch of grass below a towering tree. He let his arms fall limp to his sides, as he leaned back against the tree, releasing a breath he was holding.
He stared at the moon once again. What do I make of the dream? Is it true im just making myself feel worse because of my over active imagination, or was the dream real? He thought about how much he'd thought of Mullet, and how he'd never taken away from his mind for even a dull minute. The memories were constantly pulsing through his veins, keeping a light of hope in him, that maybe some day he'd come back. Now, when he looked at it, he nearly slapped himself in the head. Of course it was just me. I prayed so hard for him, wasted it all just waiting. He was angry. Not at Mullet, because he knew that he had to do what he had to do, but Roy was angry with himself. For being such a fool. But part of him didn't want to let go of that dimmed light, he would loose part of himself in the process, but he couldn't loose that light.
A tear escapes his eye as Roy takes a deep long breath, his chest shaking. But he held on, because he knew Mullet wouldn't want Roy to live like this. Mullet would slap him and call him stupid. But Roy didn't take that into consideration. Mullet wasn't here. He'd never be. His dream was all a lie. He didn't see much a reason to be living for anymore. He had dedicated his whole life to hoping, and now, he knew it was all for nothing.
Roy got up and started walking, and he didn't pay attention to where. He was having an out of body experience. He couldn't think right, and his eyes were puffy and red, and his face emotionless. For the second time, he felt empty. He slowly walked into the water, wading in waist deep. He didn't pay attention, couldn't pay attention, to the icy cold water numbing his body. He just stared blankly out into the sky, and to him, there were no stars. Just a cold moon.
He let his body fall back, and he was floating. He closed his eyes, spreading his arms wide, letting the cold endevelop his body. He was numb. He felt nothing, as he lay in the calm water. He felt like he was flying higher than he'd ever been. He smiled. He felt his body get colder, and he was losing energy fast. It was the weirdest feeling he'd ever had. He wasn't scared of anything now. He didn't have any regrets. He felt free and careless. But he didn't have a care in the world. He then let himself fall. Like he was jumping from his height. He felt his muscles clench, and then relax. He let himself sink, and he felt like he was slipping away into the numbing dark water. He imagined a warm place, with a long lost love⦠and then Roy felt his mind go blank, and he felt at peace. He slipped further into the dark, blackness undeveloped his body, soul, and mind. He smiled. Death didn't seem so bad. The final thing he processed was a warm hand pulling him to the surface. And then he hit rock bottom.
