Title: Pillow Talk (Chapter 1)
Author: Tenohikari
Betad by: Nevermore Amaya
Fandom: Gundam Seed Destiny
Pairing: Kira/Shinn (um... yay for non-existent pairings)

Warning: A little AU-ish but there are spoilers for the series thus far and shounen ai/yaoi themed if you haven't gotten that from that pairing. If the site of two male fictional characters together makes you cringe and want to write me flame reviews based on the "OMG Kira and Shinn are not gay for each other because I said so!" - please hit the back button on your browser now.

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Chapter One

Whenever insomnia struck onboard the Archangel, Kira would find himself wandering the nearly empty corridors until out of habit his feet would lead him to the hanger. To his mobile suit. This time, however, he fought that urge and continued to circle around the battleship until he was able to sort out his thoughts and banish current anxieties. As he was nearing the mess hall again, Kira noted his lack of progress when he remembered how vehement Impulse's pilot had sounded when he had yelled at him over the radio...

"STOP IT! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!"

It was Shinn's voice that had made his heart leap into his throat and prevented him from taking an offensive position. Only moments ago they had been fighting together against a common enemy. Why now was Shinn turning on him in their favor? Kira winced at the memory of Impulse attacking him, driving him back before flying straight towards the massive killing machine by itself.

It was one of the moments when he felt truly afraid. Not for himself, but for Shinn who was so close to that machine that had already reduced most of Berlin to ruins. So close to being incinerated for who knows what reason. Kira then made a choice: he would not watch another person he cared for die before his eyes.

"First, you decide. Then, you carry it through. That's the only way to accomplish anything..."

He had taken Lacus's words to heart yet again. Decisions. Choices. For every decision made, there is an infinite number of possibilities where a decision was made differently. As much as the brunette wished he could review them all, he could not picture a world without Shinn. In that moment of choice, Kira had felt his own power rise to the surface. He had decided to save Shinn even if the younger coordinator would hate him for it afterwards.

Kira was momentarily interrupted from his brooding when Captain Amagi stepped into the hallway and conveniently blocked his path. The older man gave him a friendly smile and Kira forced his present emotions aside to return it. The smile quickly turned into a frown and Kira wondered how fractured his mask must be that even strangers could see through it.

"Is everything all right, Kira-sama?"

He was glad the Orb officers recognized him as their ruler's little brother, but Kira couldn't help but be annoyed at the honorific title. In his mind he did nothing worth being honored for. He had just recently broken his own 'no kill' rule - even though most onboard the ship said it had been necessary.

Kira shrugged a bit, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just couldn't sleep."

The Naval Captain only nodded though looked a little apologetic as if he thought he had offended Kira by the simple question. "It's just you've passed the mess hall for the fifth time tonight, the men and I were worried."

Looking over Amagi's shoulder, Kira could identify several Murasume pilots sitting their quietly. They were rather new occupants onboard the Archangel and weren't used to his midnight strolls like the rest of the crew were. He was a little surprised when one of the pilots raised up an arm and waved at him.

"Would you like to join us, Yamato-taichou?"

The teenager couldn't hide his shock this time. Back when the Archangel used to be affiliated with the Earth Alliance, way back when Strike had been his mobile suit, he had been promoted to lieutenant. He was relieved that the rank system had gone when he returned. That the people he would fight alongside with were no superiors and subordinates; but allies and most of all friends.

This time, it felt a little different... and he stared back at Amagi who chuckled at the bewildered look on his face. "Since we'll be fighting alongside each other now, I thought it would be best to give you a rank. To show that I trust you commanding my officers if needed, and they will gladly follow your orders as if they were my own."

He really wished he could close his mouth and stop gaping - where was Cagalli and her upper-cut shot when you needed her - and turned back to soldiers who cleared some space on the bench for him to sit down. This was certainly not unwelcome at all, just unexpected. Kira was used to taking orders rather than giving them, doing tasks himself rather than delegating them. But this rank was an honor even if it wasn't official, and Kira just felt his face burn with embarrassment for a moment before going over to join them.

"You all can just call me 'Kira' if you want to. So what are you guys having?" he asked as the drinks went around the table.

"Hot chocolate."

"Hot chocolate laced with kahlua!"

"Idiot! He's underage!"

Kira let out a small laugh, but downed the warm cocoa beverage anyway. A little alcohol wouldn't hurt him - Kira was pretty confident after drinking Waldfeld's triple shot mocha - he could handle anything. As he listened to the other pilots talk about previous battles and life back in their home country, Kira started to relax and let his anxieties slipped away. If only until he piloted Freedom and faced Shinn once again.


Clack. Clack. Clack.

His fingers danced across the keyboard as he accessed the proper file that contained the compiled data of the mobile suit infamously known as The Freedom. The steady rhythmic tapping ceased as Shinn Asuka leaned forward, elbows resting against his terminal. He studied the digital footage of that mobile suit's performance, scene by scene, frame by frame - determined to find a flaw somewhere.

Yet as minutes finally stretched into hours, Shinn had to restrain himself from bashing the screen with his chair. Perfect. As much as it disgusted him to admit, his opponent was formidable. He watched for the umpteenth time as The Freedom weaved back and forth between incoming fire, dodging with ease. Its speed was remarkable and without a doubt in his mind, it had to be the strongest one on the battlefield at present.

Chewing his lower lip, Shinn analyzed his data over again - back to Freedom's first appearance back in the battle at Orb. It had enough fire-power to take out several opponents at once, so a long ranged attack was out of the question. Close combat was possible, if he could just increase Impulse's speed a little more...

Shinn was completely unaware of the door hissing open, or the sound of footsteps approaching. It was only when he felt his roommate lean forward to look over his shoulder did Shinn practically jump in his seat. Rey's blue eyes regarded him for a moment, before the blonde nodded towards the monitor.

"Have you been able to discover anything new about it?"

Shinn turned away from the pilot and glared back at 'it' and shook his head. He couldn't deny that perfection existed in virtually every aspect of that mobile suit's performance. Even Athrun was defeated by it. Yet Shinn wouldn't let himself be intimidated... and neither would Rey when the other teenager spoke up.

"Please allow me to assist."

The raven haired boy glance back at Rey who continued to stand beside him, his gaze fixated on the data displayed before them. Remembering back to when Stellar was alive and onboard the Minerva, Shinn recalled when his fellow pilot had knocked out a few guards to assist with the escape. Shinn still owed him for that and now Rey wanted to help again...

Camaraderie... Shinn nodded his head and allowed a small smile to twitch at his lips at the realization that even though he would be the only mobile suit going out to battle for awhile, he didn't have to feel like he was fighting alone.

Several minutes later, Rey spoke up quickly, much to the other's surprise. "Would you replay that last segment again, Shinn, I think I may have found something."


Having spent most of his days on a battleship like the Vesalius or the Minerva, Athrun Zala had almost grown accustomed to living under a constant threat. As soon as the alarm sounded, his instincts would kick in as he prepared for battle alongside his team mates. However, with Savior damaged beyond repair, Athrun found himself brooding more often than he normally would.

After being reinstated back into ZAFT, the son of the former chairman had been surprised at Gilbert Dullindal's trust in him. Being a member of FAITH was a rare honor given only to a select few after all, for it allowed the freedom to act on his own decisions. However, the lightweight medal pinned to his uniform collar felt like an anchor weighing him down more than anything else.

Really what could he do in this kind of situation? Just as how it was two years ago, Athrun Zala could feel the storm brewing ever since his childhood friend entered the fray and now it was going to be unleashed. He remembered listening to the cheers for Dullindal's name on the broadcast not too long ago, and how much they sounded like waves ready to crash against the shore and wash everything away. The Blue Cosmos. The Earth Forces. Orb. The Archangel. Cagalli. Kira...

A flurry of emotions was wreaking havoc inside him as he approached Shinn and Rey's quarters. He paused for a moment as he faced the closed door, counting several heartbeats, as Athrun wondered what he was should say. What could he say to that reckless subordinate who barely listened to his orders in the past? He sighed quietly to himself, raising up a hand to his eye level and remembering lashing out at Shinn for not listening to orders. Would the pilot of Impulse listen to him now?

A knock at the door caused Rey to turn his gaze away from the screen for a moment and his lips thinned in displeasure when he heard the voice coming from behind it.

"Shinn? It's Athrun, I'm coming in."

Normally, whether he liked the person or not, Rey would stop and salute a higher ranking officer as military custom required; but instead he turned his attention back to the monitor once more. Both ZAFT pilots ignored their senior as he approached to stand beside them. From the corner of his eye, Rey watched the older teen's shocked facial expression when he saw the battle footage of the Freedom. What seemed to disturb Athrun more, was how focused Shinn was in his examination.

In all the mission briefings they've had together, he's never seen Shinn like this. So calm and focused despite the obvious exhilaration pumping through his veins. Obsession. Athrun remembered it well from the time Yzak Jule was fixated on destroying the Strike, and now it was happening all over again.

Kira...

He reached over and grasped Shinn's shoulder, forcing the two boys to turn and face him. "Shinn, Rey, what in the world do you think you're doing?"

The ruby-eyed coordinator shot him an irritated glare at the disturbance as well as the hysteria in Athrun's tone. "What?" when Athrun didn't bother to remove his hand from his person, Shinn turned back to the panel.

"I'm going through a battle simulation with the Freedom," he answered, shrugging away from the other's grasp. "What do you want?"

Emerald eyes widened in disbelief as Athrun stepped around the chair so that he wasn't talking to Shinn's back.

"Why are you doing this?"

Shinn didn't bother to meet the Faith soldier's furious stare, he was so fixated on Freedom's maneuvering capabilities that he didn't even blink in the span of an entire minute. But he knew better than to ignore Athrun Zala. He also wanted to let the older teenager that he was serious about this... dead serious.

"Because he's strong," Shinn admitted, "and as far as I know the Freedom is the most capable Mobile Suit out there. In that case, I think it would be helpful to train with it as an opponent." The pilot of Impulse glanced in Athrun's direction for a moment to see that his glare did not die down. "Wouldn't it be a serious problem if something happened and there wasn't anyone in ZAFT who could defeat that thing?"

He could hear what other was saying; but with the blood pounding in his ears, all Athrun could picture was Kira. His best friend dying before his eyes just like Rusty, Nicol, Miguel, and his mother had while all he - the former "ZAFT Ace" - could do was watch. His hand shot out again, grabbing the boy's arm, shouting his name as he pulled him up and out of his seat.

Shinn pulled his arm back, now scowling directly at Athrun. "What's your problem!"

Before blows could be exchanged, Rey decided to intervene this time and stepped forward as the two dark haired boys glared darkly at one another. "Both of you, settle down and back off," he managed to say without making it a direct order as he moved between them and faced the older pilot.

"Athrun, he's right," Rey informed him while Shinn was glowering over the blonde's shoulder. "Indeed, the Freedom is powerful but threatening because the side it belongs to isn't allied with our forces. We have no knowledge of their agenda; therefore trust at this moment is impossible."

He took a moment to regard the former pilot of Savior to make an objection. When receiving none - except for Athrun's torn expression - Rey continued, "Even if you fought alongside the Freedom, what Shinn had implied is a a possibility that we - as ZAFT soldiers - need to prepare for."

'If you don't shoot, you'll find yourself being the one shot down.'

For a brief instant Athrun almost pictured the Rau Le Creuset standing before him. His deceased commanding officer had given him that advice long ago, when the Strike had been a threat. As much as he would like to believe that the circumstances were different... he couldn't. Kira was in the same position then as he was now: in the line of fire.

'If you don't shoot...'

"But Kira isn't the enemy!"

The outburst seemed to startle him more than it did the other two in the room. This was the second time he uttered Kira's name before ones who would most likely see him as an enemy despite being a Coordinator himself. With the Chairman, Athrun wasn't worried - but with these two... who knew what would happen. As he mentally slapped himself for the slip, Athrun failed to see Shinn's startled reaction to the mention of the name.

"What?" Shinn questioned in cold disbelief as he composed himself outwardly. But inside, his rage burned as hot as ever. 'Kira' was the name that belonged to his precious person, a person who he believed was as far from Berlin as possible. If he didn't already have a personal grudge against the pilot of the Freedom, he did now.

Once again Rey intervened, before his teammate could lunge at Athrun and make demands of his own.

"Why do you say that?" he asked. "That mobile suit attacked our vessel at Dardanelles and as a result, Heine was a casualty. Also, weren't you also defeated by it?"

Savior's wreckage floating in the sea came back to Athrun, as well as the hurt and humiliation he felt afterwards.

"Although it's up to our superiors to determine who we fight against," Rey continued almost mercilessly, "We can't decide for sure if the side Freedom fights for is friend or foe. Therefore, I believe we should be prepared to fight... whoever our enemy maybe."

His words seemed to calm the young men down and he decided to change tactics. He didn't want Athrun to think he was being ganged up on. Despite the difference in options, they were still comrades after all. With practiced obedience and civility, Rey looked over to present member of Faith thoughtfully, "If possible, we'd like to get some advice from you based on your past experiences, Athrun."

Shinn after recovering from his outburst and shoving the 'name' matter out of his mind for the time being, sat back down in his seat. Attention focused on the enemy mobile suit again. "It's alright, Rey," he said before Athrun could respond. "Experiences of losing won't be of any use."

Athrun whipped his head and glared furiously in Shinn's direction. "What did you say?"

Shinn didn't answer, which did nothing but provoke the other further. Mentally, Rey sighed to himself. As these two formidable pilots continued to light one another's fuses normally he would stand back and let Athrun handle the insubordination; but right now, Shinn was the only one out of them capable enough of handling the 'enemy'.

"I apologize, Athrun. I'll have a talk with Shinn later."

With that said, the older boy stalked angrily out of their room. Once again Rey returned to stand by Shinn's side as they worked together for hours to defeat a common enemy. Together they formulated their own battle maneuvers based on a flaw Rey had discovered earlier. The Freedom would not have a chance.

Another hour later, both boys retired for the night and while Rey had no trouble sleeping, Shinn in his own bed was still wide awake. As always, Mayu's cell phone was clutched tightly in one hand but occasionally, the coordinator from Orb would find himself hugging his pillow. Embedding his face in the softness and picturing it as something - someone else.

He wouldn't do this often. It was only when he was certain his roommate was asleep, did Shinn allow himself to imagine that it was Kira he was holding in his arms. His Kira that is. Not Athrun's... not the pilot of the Gundam he was going to annihilate the next time they met in battle.

'Just a name. Just a coincidence', he told himself. His Kira was also a coordinator but not a fighter. Let alone the pilot of the most powerful mobile suit in the world. It was impossible!

Yawning, Shinn knew that the shadows were closing in, already filling his dreams with doubt.

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Author's Notes:

Due to popular demand, this will be a multi-chapter fic rather than a drabble I wrote awhile ago just to amuse myself. I'm not sure why, but the pairing has really stuck with me and - Whoa this is the first time in like months/years(?) that I was able to finish an entire chapter in less than a week! - Sad isn't it? If you have any comments or criticism, please review!

Shameless plug: If you want to read a somewhat side-prequel-ficlet to this series, check out "Washed Away" .

Review Responses:

Spyrit Phoenyx - Yes Kira's "lie" is going to do more than bite him on the ass... more like hand it to him P As for "How does Kira know?" well there's a lot of fan speculation going on that at this point that Kira already knows Shinn is the pilot of Impulse based on his 'senses' and the one line he utters before a battle. In this fic, however, I've come up with another way Kira would have found out - all will be revealed in the later chapters.

FrozenMagicFire - Kira was pretty much saved by the snore. I really don't think it would have gone well... and I'm just delaying the inevitable.

Black RoseL Me - Shinn is pretty much the total opposite of Kira personality wise. Whereas Kira is humble, quite and reserved in Destiny; Shinn is impulsive, short tempered and speaks his mind. Though what's amusing is that despite their differences, the two are very much alike. Especially the way they react - if there's something that they feel the need to accomplish, they'll do it without hesitation. - Sorry for rambling on. Ends character analysis.

tyranimo - I still like AthrunxKira... I mean they're practically cannon in slash-verse (dodges rocks thrown by rabid cagallixathrun and lacusxkira fans).

ZGMF X-19A Infinite Justice - Well I continued writing, I hope you'll continue reading )

shinycry - Yes KiraxShinn! Yes, there's more ... because unfortunately the damned writer's block has squashed my other projects for now.