Title: Pillow Talk (Chapter 2)

Author: Tenohikari
Beta: Nevermore Amaya
Fandom: Gundam Seed Destiny
Pairing: Kira/Shinn (um... yay for non-existent pairings)
Rating: PG-13 (for the NC-17 version, check out my profile page)

Warning: A little AU-ish but there are spoilers for the series thus far and shounen ai/yaoi themed if you haven't gotten that from that pairing. Also the rating has gone up for this chapter for implied adult situations. Again, if this offends you in any way go BACK now.

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Two months earlier:

When it comes to riding a motorcycle in a foreign land, one would find it difficult to keep an eye on the road rather than their surroundings. Especially when it came to Diocuia - a coastal city along the Black Sea - that had so many sights to be seen all around. But not wanting to splatter his guts all over the road, the rider waited until he finally reached his destination, to allow his indigo eyes drink in the scenery.

The gentle lapping of the waves against the shore was always tranquil to him rather than the roar of an engine. It only took his ears a fraction of a second for his ears to adjust to the silence until a small mechanical chirp reminded him of his little stow-away. With a small chuckle, he lowered the zipper of his jacket and watched the two beady little eyes of his robot companion light up before hopping out onto his shoulder. It too surveyed the area before flapping green and yellow mechanical wings and took taking off into the air.

"Kira!"

At the call of his name, the brunette turned away from gazing up at his pet just in time to see someone coming towards him. He grunted as a solid weight collided with him, almost throwing them both off to the side. With a firm grip on the bike handle, Kira managed to right both of them back up before glancing down at the beaming face hovering just before his own.

"I missed you too, Shinn..." he trailed off as he spotted the dark scratches on the younger

coordinator's face and frowned with concern. "What happened?"

Garnet eyes slowly glanced sideways as if they could see what Kira was looking at. Bringing one his fingers up to trace them, he winced at the memory but managed to smile. "Oh these? I got them when I saved a girl from drowning the other day. At the time she got pretty hysterical and clawed me..."

Kira's features softened and he leaned down, planting a chaste kiss on the marred cheek. His lips twitched finally into a full smile as a rosy blush broke out only seconds later and began to spread. The younger boy pretended to be annoyed and demanded that his lover kiss him properly... which Kira gladly obliged to.

"I still can't believe it," Shinn said breathlessly when they finally separated for air. "How did you know I was here and where I'm staying at? What are you doing in Diocuia?"

These were questions Kira Yamato prepared himself to answer ever since he left the Archangel in the Skygrasper unit rather than taking Freedom. While on auto-pilot, he had racked his brain to come up with explanations that weren't all lies. Finally when he arrived at this city, he decided on half-truth answers. He could always tell Shinn the whole truth

when the appropriate time finally came.

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"So you told him that you're a war photographer?" Miriallia Haww stared incredulously at him from across the table, before firing the next question, "How is that a 'half truth', Kira?"

To his credit, he didn't flinch and stutter for an explanation when there really was none. Instead the teenager just shrugged his shoulders, and shook his head. Leaning back in his seat at the outdoor café where they agreed to meet that evening, he took a moment to listen to the bits and pieces or conversation around them... without actually listening to them; just letting the noise drown him for a moment.

"It isn't," he admitted flatly, "But I couldn't really tell him the truth now could I? Not with this war breaking out all around us."

Miriallia frowned at the response; taking her drink in hand she began to crush the cubes of ice on the bottom with the straw. "Sure it might be one little lie right now, but it's going to lead to another and another. Relationships require honesty and trust in order to be strong."

The young coordinator wanted to snap back at his old classmate and tell her that he knew that. He knew perfectly well what it felt loved and lied to at the same time. Kira knew that when he was with Fllay, she inwardly despised him despite her affections. But in this case, it wasn't like that with Shinn because...

'I know I'm in love with him.'

"Trust, hmmm?" he murmured to himself before glancing over Miriallia - who had pulverized her ice while waiting for a response - and smiled. "So what happened with Dearka?"

Everyone had been surprised at how well the two managed to hit it off by the time the war had ended two years ago. They were almost inseparable onboard the Archangel and the last time he heard, the former Buster pilot was planning to be stationed on Earth so he could be near her. So it was unexpected to hear from Athrun that Dearka had returned to PLANT and was still enlisted in ZAFT.

Miriallia's frown of impatience turned to that of irritation and she looked a little bitter that there was no more ice to crush. "Oh him? Well it had a lot to do with the whole "trust" part. He couldn't trust me to take care of myself when I started this profession - while he goes off and flies mobile suits into battle! Hypocrite!"

Kira couldn't think why worrying about one another's safety could lead to a break up - but wisely held his tongue. It was just 'safer' to be neutral. Unless of course not when you piloted a mobile suit that stood between ORB and the EA and ZAFT.

"But we're not here to talk about the 'past'," Miriallia reminded and met his gaze evenly, "So stop changing the subject." At Kira's reluctant nod the other brunette couldn't help but lean forward with a grin spreading across her face. "So what's he like, this boyfriend of yours?"

Poking at his own neglected beverage, Kira knew hiding Shinn from his persistent friend would be impossible. She was keeping tabs for him after all. Miriallia even set this arrangement at Diocuia at his request. If it wasn't for her freelance position - and past experience as the Archangel's CIC ability to contact the Freedom's radio - he wouldn't be able to be here. Or more importantly, be able to meet with Shinn later that evening before the Minerva would set off again. In a nutshell, Kira still (yes 'still', considering that he was picking up the bill after this meeting) owed her at least an explanation.

"Shinn is...," Kira began, quickly searching for the right words to define his young lover. He was certain that Shinn was self-assured, confident, and cocky to the point of being arrogant to those around him. Yet only in front of Kira did the younger boy show the other side of the coin. Shinn was incredibly modest and kind, the length he would go help someone in need was simply astounding...

'Oh these? I got them when I saved a girl from drowning the other day.'

"...Special."

Miriallia looked at him blandly.

"I figured that much," she responded dryly and picked up the dessert menu, "I mean it's been over a year since I last heard from you - and then out of the blue - you call me up asking for favors. Delivering your message to that hotel made me feel like I was back in school, sneaking love notes in class..." there was a hint of nostalgia in her voice, and Kira wondered if she was thinking about Tolle. "Instead of angry professors, this time I had to deal with ZAFT soldiers armed to kill."

Kira arched an eyebrow and seriously doubted she had to go through a whole mission impossible scenario just to deliver a message to Shinn's room.

"By the way, how did you know where to contact me?"

He waited for her to place an order for dessert before the waiter turned and walked away. "Neumann-san has been keeping tabs on us over the years," he informed her, and pulled out his wallet to pay before they could talk their way up to dinner. "Haven't heard much about or from Ssigh, have you?"

She shook her head, "Not really, a couple months after we parted ways, he wrote me an email that said something about studying abroad."

Kira only nodded, knowing if Arnold Neumann, the Archangel's pilot, was unable to contact him, then his old friend probably wasn't living in ORB anymore. That, or didn't want anything to do with them - and no one would blame him. He would have gladly stayed back at their beach house - thinking of Shinn while staring out at the ocean - if it hadn't been for the attack that caused them leave.

"Did you tell them?" Miriallia asked as her Crème Caramel was placed in front of her.

"Tell who what?"

Quickly Kira reached for the check when it also arrived, but didn't need to look up to see his friend shoot him the "stop playing dumb" look.

"No. I didn't tell them where I was going or meeting with - only that I would be back tomorrow night."

"Do they know about the two of you?"

"Lacus does. I didn't tell the others. They have the right to know, I suppose..." he hesitated, "just not now."

"Just like Shinn has the right to know that you're not a freelance camera man?" Miriallia smirked at him. "Has he even seen your attempts a photography? You practically juggled a camera around when we had that pool party on Heliopolis."

Kira flushed, but didn't reply, suddenly finding his signature on the returned bill to be extremely interesting. Back then, he hadn't told his friends he was a coordinator since he tended to klutz out a lot. It became even more frequent when it came to girls like Fllay Allester. As much as he tried to block it, the memory of the pool party returned along with Tolle hurrying up to take a picture of the girls in their swimsuits while they weren't looking. It was when one girl - who was very well endowed for her age - lost the top part of her bikini. This exposure of course caused Kira to freak out and fumble with the expensive camera, dropping it straight into the pool. He spent the rest of the summer earning money to replace it.

Definitely not a story he would be sharing with Shinn, or anyone else for that matter.

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It was eight o'clock sharp when Kira heard a knock coming from his hotel room door. Just on time. At the last second he had changed plans with his lover, asking him to come to his hotel instead. Originally, Shinn had invited him to his suite instead to take advantage of the free room service. Then at the meeting, Miriallia quickly pointed out, in that very polite way that Cagalli would have, that he was a total moron and if he wanted his rendezvous to stay a secret, don't spend the night at the same hotel Athrun Zala was also in. The mention of Athrun's name was all it took to convince Kira to make a quick call to Shinn's room, that and because the confrontation with his best friend - and who knows how many ZAFT soldiers - while sneaking out in the middle of the night just did not sit well with him.

Before the second knock he took a moment to check his small room and making sure - for the third time - that his flight suit remained out of sight. He opened the door and smiled back at the boy waiting on the other side. This time, Shinn didn't fling himself at him like he did earlier, but blushed and held up a paper bag that Kira assumed contained something edible in it.

"I didn't know if you ate yet so I picked something up," Shinn explained as the brunette invited him in. Thoughtful as ever, Kira couldn't hold himself back to kiss him even though he hadn't closed the door yet. The raven-haired boy leaned forward, eagerly returning it before he pulled away, a crimson blush already spreading across his pale face. "Umm... have you?"

Kira shook his head, and guided his guest to sit down after closing the door. "I'm sorry you had to go to the trouble," he spoke softly while gesturing for Shinn to make himself comfortable, "for everything. I hope you coming to see me this late hasn't inconvenienced you too much."

"No problem," the raven-haired teen spoke up, "I asked my commanding officer and he said it was all right, as long as I report back and don't get into any - more - trouble."

"More?"

Shinn absently brushed the healing scratches on his face. "Yeah, he had to come bail me and that girl I saved out of a jam the other day. I don't think he was too thrilled about it since he was pulled away from his fiancée."

There was uncertainty in the ZAFT pilot's tone, but Kira continued to listen while pouring water into two glasses at the small corner table.

"Anyway, I was glad to get out of that place," Shinn continued, "That new guy assigned to our ship is just way too perky to hang around to for long... and Rey never likes talking about anything for long periods of time, and then there's Zala-taichou who just lets himself be used in a game of coordinator tug-a-war between Luna and Meyrin..."

It was a very good thing that Shinn was seated facing the window, so he wouldn't have seen Kira nearly spill the entire pitcher and it's contents on himself. Zala-taichou. Of course. He should have known his friend would be climbing the ranks after learning about Athrun returning to ZAFT from Milly. Then the whole 'tug-a-war' line made him glad that he hadn't told anyone on Archangel about this trip. Kira was quite certain if Cagalli found out her would-be-fiancé was cheating, she would have force-fed Athrun's ring back to him.

"So you only came here to escape?" he asked, inwardly grinning while sounding hurt that his boyfriend could be so insensitive. Shinn wasn't fooled. At least not 'this' time.

"Yeah, pretty much," the ZAFT pilot responded seriously, "At least here I can channel surf in peace without having Vino and Youlan over my room and fighting for the remote."

Kira tossed him the remote control before opening the bag and examining it's contents. "Surf away, although you'll be disappointed in the selection. No cable and most of what's on is all news."

News. The outbreak of war and the suffering of people both on Earth and in Space, none of this was new to him. There were times Shinn wanted to pretend it wasn't happening, that was another reason why he was here. To try and suppress the memories of the death of his family, the slaughter he had seen of innocent civilians, and fighting battles one right after another. With Kira, he could manage to forget - even for just a little while - and simply live not just as a soldier or the pilot of a mobile suit, but just as Shinn Asuka.

"You're not going to watch?"

Shaking his head, he relinquished the remote and turned back to Kira who was chewing on whatever Shinn had picked up at that food stand on the way over. He winced and reconsidered buying food from a total stranger off a street cart. To be perfectly honest, he wasn't even sure what he had ordered only, that it smelled good at the time. For all he knew it could have been road kill, and from the look on the brunette's face, he was probably wondering the same.

"You know," the younger teen began, getting up from his seat and taking another on Kira's lap, "you don't have to give yourself food poisoning just to impress me."

A second later Kira reached for the paper bag and promptly emptied the un-eaten remains of his 'dinner' back into it. Shinn made a face and backed away a bit. That really didn't impress him either.

"Eww gross, and damn I was about to kiss you!"

The pilot of Freedom looked both apologetic and embarrassed for a moment, before suddenly gripping his lover's shoulder and kissing him fiercely. While Shinn was off-guard, Kira's eyes darted towards the bed and he knew that re-location was in order. With a speed that most coordinators did not possess he took a firm hold of the younger man and hoisted him up and into his arms.

Shinn barely had time to register what was going on before his back met the softness of the bed beneath him and the solid weight of Kira above him. All complaints about being kissed by someone who just spat out 'mystery meat' went quickly out the door as he reached up and wound his arms around Kira's neck. Once again, their lips met again in a fierce and sensual duel, as fingers began their exploration.

Kira gladly surrendered first, parting his lips as a warm tongue rubbed against his own, licking along the walls of his mouth. He shuddered at the sensation, squeezing Shinn's hip with one hand while reaching up and threading his fingers through raven-black hair with the other. The two boys stayed that way until their bodies dutifully reminded them that they needed air. Reluctantly, Kira pulled away so that he wasn't crushing the boy beneath him, breathing heavily in an effort to provide his body with enough oxygen. He had to admit though that asphyxiation caused by a kiss would have been a preferred way to die.

Recovering first, Shinn sat up and decided that the older boy was simply wearing too much right now. Chewing his lower lip, he eagerly began to work with the buckles on Kira's black shirt. He did find it a little odd that his boyfriend's wardrobe consisted mostly of casual black clothing that hid much of the torso as possible. Though he had to admit he also found the odd buckles and zippers tantalizing. The allure of the unseen. Unfortunately, it took much restraint to not just tear the damn buckled shirt apart as it got in the way of his impending quest for skin. Kira, of course, had more success when it came to the removal of his own clothing.

'I came here... because this is where you are.'

Shinn leaned forward, his mouth seeking out Kira's again, before trailing his lips to brush against the brunette's ear.

"I love you, you know," he whispered softly. Shinn's confession was surprising even to his own ears. He did not doubt the words, though wondered why he hadn't realized it before. His pulse raced as he felt the muscles under his arms tense for a moment. Kira had gone quiet, and his heart constricted at the deafening silence before he locked gazes with him yet again.

"I know," he replied quietly. There wasn't any doubt in those violet pools, but Shinn this time wasn't able to see something else that made Kira both upset and elated at the same time.

"I love you too."

All their battles were behind them now and the world - Plant and Earth - ceased to be…

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The bedside clock's incessant ringing woke Shinn the next morning, and as he shot a hand out to silence it, he noticed immediately that something was amiss. The dark-haired teen sat up quickly and barely registered that his skin sticky with sweat and there was a heavy lassitude in his limbs. His senses kicked in when he noticed that the person who had slept beside him last night was no longer present. In his place, however, was a note laying on the pillow beside him.

"Shinn -

I'm sorry, but I knew that by waking you, I wouldn't have been able to leave in one piece..."

Although he was upset his lover did not say goodbye in person, Shinn couldn't hold back the smug look on his face.

"...I'm writing this letter at four in the morning and without caffeine am having difficulty putting my feelings into comprehensible words; but I meant what I said last night. I do love you. I love your perseverance, the free spirit that drives you..."

As he read the list of attributes that Kira had admired - like him wearing his heart on his sleeve - he had to restrain himself from getting worked up. The young soldier sensed a "but" waiting just a couple sentences away.

"...But, as much as I love you, I cannot commit to you now."

The last words stung even if Shinn had been expecting them. Could not commit? Or would not? What did Kira mean?

"You and I are both driven by our goals, and I do believe that we fight for the same reasons, just for different people. Different causes."

Shinn was completely lost. The word 'fight' just wouldn't compute and he ignored it all together. What was Kira implying? They couldn't be together just because of a difference in opinion! That was ridiculous!

He was about to scramble out of bed, pull on his clothes, and go hunt down his boyfriend, only to realize that Kira had a three hour head start and was probably on a plane to wherever he needed to be by now. Even though he was slowly being torn apart by grief, Shinn forced himself to read the rest of the letter, hoping that all was not lost.

"Before you jump to every negative conclusion in your mind, please understand that this does not mean I don't want to be with you anymore. It's just that our priorities right now should be focused on the world we live in. There are still many things going on that I do not understand, but will struggle to resolve. Until then, keep reaching out to ones that need you and remember that when life is at its darkest, that's when you fight the hardest and prevail as long as you never give up hope.

Yours,

Kira."

Relief gradually outweighed the confusion as the realization struck that his Kira was not saying a real goodbye. Finally the smile that he had held back - and that had almost died halfway in the note - returned to make its glowing appearance. For he understood a part of it now, and knew the other coordinator was correct.

This war that had already taken so much from him, and he would not allow it to steal what he held dear to him again. As Shinn proudly put on his uniform, after taking the time to clean himself up, he swore to himself and to his Kira, that he would fight to bring an end to this war. At any cost.

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Author's Notes:

It's FYI - This is edited version of chapter 2. If you want to read the NC-17 version, check out my profile page. Anyway, feed the author! Send money! (Or reviews!)

Review Responses:

RuByMoOn17 - ShinnXKira is crack-tastic, don't you agree?

Craze Izumi - They are, aren't they?

Quixotically - Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter of OOCness and continue to read future installments (hopefully by then, I'll be able to find a beta-reader)

Kira-Chuu - Wow, thank you, and you should definitely try to right KiraShinn, get creative with pairings and plot twists, ect :rambles on:

Sarah - Heh. Oh they both give each other pwnage on and off the battlefield/bedroom.

gsdfan - Maybe I'll try one of those random Destiny pairings. I mean I've already written a little GilxKira drabble - so why not... oh yeah, the OOCness :weeps:

Black RoseL Me - well KiraxShinn would actually go into the crack pairing category for Destiny. Shinn was at least a little respectful towards Kira in person but on the battlefield, it's all accusations and death threats. Poor Kira.

ZGMF X-19A Infinite Justice - Um, well I updated. Feed me!