Disclaimer: See chapter 1.
Authors Note: REVIEWS ARE VERY IMPORTANT :) Thank you to all reviewers.
And thank you to everyone who has continued to read this story.
Lexa and Jeff sat for a while and watched the sun come up.
Jeff finally stood. "I'll make us some breakfast."
"I really don't want anything, but thanks anyway." Lexa replied still looking off towards
the east.
Jeff squatted down in front of her, placing a hand on the arm of her chair. "Look Lex, food isn't
exactly the first thing on my mind either. But you have more than just yourself to take care of
now."
Lexa sighed and forced a smile to him. "Ok."
Lexa and Jeff ate in silence, until they heard the sound of light footsteps on the stairs.
Paige soon appeared in the doorway, awakened by the smell of pancakes.
"Hey kid." Jeff said "Have a seat."
"Hey." Paige said to them both, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
Paige looked from Lexa to Jeff, watching them as they ate in silence. Not knowing what
she could say to either of them on a day like today. Finally she opted for silence as well.
They all knew the silence wouldn't last, just like everyday since Matt's accident, the house would soon be filled with people. The people that had been closest to him, that needed to be here in his home, to mend their own grief. People that loved Jeff and his family, that wanted to be there for them. And people that loved Lexa, the woman who had stolen Matt's heart.
Shannon arrived first, he had been over everyday since it had happened. Matt had been like a brother to him. Then Shane arrived, and then more friends and family. Then Lexa's mom
arrived along with Meg. Lexa sat and listened while others talked. She looked around the room
noticing men and women in their dark suits and dresses. Lexa looked down at herself, she was still in her sweats and Matt's hoodie. Jeff was nowhere to be seen. Lexa assumed he had gone to get dressed for the funeral. She knew she should be doing the same, but couldn't bring herself to go up and put on the black dress that was laid out over the chair in the bedroom. That made it
too official, getting dressed for Matt's funeral. So she sat and just looked and listened, feeling more and more lost and broken with each passing second that drew the final goodbye closer.
Finally her mother came over and pulled her up, gently pulling her up the stairs and into the bedroom. Closing the door Jessa looked at her daughter.
With tears in her eyes Lexa shook her head.. "Mom, I don't think I can do this." Her voice
choked with tears. "I can't let him go." She said before she broke down, sliding to the floor
next to the bed, her hands covering her face.
Jessa came over and knelt down next to her daughter, tears coming to her own eyes as she stroked Lexa's head. "Oh baby, he's already gone. You just have to be strong and say your
final goodbye. I wish more than anything that I could take your pain away, but I can't."
"I just don't think I can handle this. I loved him so, it hurts too much" Lexa cried onto her mothers shoulder.
"Alexandrea look at me." Jessa said placing her finger under Lexa's chin and lifting it to see her tear stained face. "You can handle this. You are one of the strongest, most stubborn people I
have ever met. I am so proud of you. Even when you left home right out of high school to go work in a bar, and I told you that you were crazy. I was proud of you then. And then you went gallivanting across the country to be a bounty hunter. And even though I said it was too
dangerous, I was proud of you. You have done things, gone places that I never would have
had the courage to. You have always just followed your heart and your sense of adventure.
You are so strong, I hope you realize that. That's why I've never worried about you. No
matter what, I knew you could handle it. If this were Paige or even Trace I don't know that they'd be ok. But you, you will be ok. I know you will." Jessa stood up pulling Lexa with her. "Now lets get you dressed, you have to do this"
Lexa simply nodded wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands. She still felt broken, but her mother was right, she had to do this.
Lexa took the dress off the chair and proceeded to get dressed, as her mom quietly left the
room, shutting the door behind her.
Lexa pulled her hair into a neat ponytail. She didn't bother with any makeup, it wouldn't last anyway. The only jewelry she wore was a necklace that Matt had given her. It was a white
gold pendant that was his and her initials formed together with some pave' diamonds. To
anyone who didn't know what it was it just looked like a unusual filigree design, but if you
knew what it was you could see the initials. He had it made like that on purpose, it made it
more mysterious and unusual and he knew she would love that.
Once she was finished dressing, she sat on the edge of the bed. Not wanting to go downstairs
and see everyone yet.
Little did Lexa know, Jeff was going through the same thing. Shane and Shannon had
practically dragged him home to get dressed. And even had to pull out clothes for him to
wear. Jeff was pale and feeling more and more like he was going to be sick with each passing moment. He wanted more than anything just to lock himself away and not face this.
His hands were trembling and he broke out into a cold sweat.
When he emerged from his room dressed, both Shannon and Shane stood up from the couch ready to leave with him. "Just let me be alone." Jeff said holding up his hands to them, and then
turned and headed out the door.
Jeff walked across the expanse from his house to Matt's, hands shoved in his pockets.
He walked in the backdoor and snuck up the stairs not wanting to speak to anyone.
When he reached the door to what had been Matt and Lexa's room, he knocked.
Lexa didn't look up when she heard the knock on the door. It was probably someone wanting
to tell her that it was almost time to leave. She breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the
voice on the other side "Lex". It was Jeff.
"Come in."
Jeff walked into the room and shut the door behind him. Looking at Lexa, who sat on the edge of the bed fidgeting with her hands, he realized she looked so small and lost, much like how he felt.
He sat next to her and took her hand. Somehow the trembling in his hands stopped.
Lexa looked up at Jeff, and gave him a small smile, which he returned.
It was going to be ok, they would get through this together, somehow.
The service had been filled with family, close friends, and co-workers. Lexa was touched to see how many WWE employees, wrestlers and crew alike, made the service. The McMahon family was there as well to pay their respects. Now Lexa looked up at the sky, it was overcast
and bleak. It seemed appropriate. The funeral had been over for a while, the only remaining people at the graveside were Shannon, Lexa who was flanked by her brother and sister, and
Jeff and his father. Shane and Lane had left to go back to Matt's house to get things ready for
the people who would surely come. Lexa turned to Paige and Trace and asked them to give her
a minute, which they did heading back to the car, followed a moment later by a still tearful Shannon. Lexa walked over and ran her hand along the smooth wood of the casket.
Whispering softly she said " I wanted to grown old with you too, I hope you knew that. And I love you so much. I'll do my best for this baby without you. And I promise you, it will know just how wonderful you were. And how much you would have loved it." Then she brought her hand up to her mouth placing a kiss on it and then lay it on the casket.
"Goodbye Matt, I love you." She said as tears stung her eyes.
She then turned and headed in the direction that Trace and Paige had gone, leaving Jeff and his father to have a moment alone. As she walked she noticed someone standing in the distance, at the edge of the grass near where the cars were. As Lexa approached she recognized who it was.
The woman was standing with her hands in her pockets looking very uncertain as Lexa approached. Lexa could see fresh tears on her cheeks.
"Amy" Lexa said surprising the redhead by pulling her into an embrace.
Both women hugged for a moment as the tears continued to fall.
When they pulled away Amy said "I'm so sorry Lexa, for all of you."
"Thank you." Lexa said genuinely, then stopped for a second thinking.
"Amy, I'd really like it if you came back to the house. We've asked only the people who were closest to Matt, everyone who loved him to come. It was Shane and Jeff's idea, so that we can all be together and remember him, celebrate him, grieve for him, whatever. You were such an
important part of his life for so long. I know that you loved him. It wouldn't be right if you weren't there. Please." Lexa added.
Amy looked apprehensive. "I don't know if..." Then she stopped herself. "Yes I would like to be there." She finished softly.
"Good, then I'll see you there." Lexa said before turning and walking to the limo that her brother and sister were waiting in along with Shannon. Jeff and his father Gil soon joined them, then they all headed back to Matt's house.
Everyone who had been invited back to the house, was there. Lexa had decided, with Jeff's encouragement that it was time to tell the people they were close to. So she had announced to everyone there, that she was pregnant. The initial reaction was shock, and sympathy for Lexa.
But soon the realization hit that there would be a little piece of Matt back in the world in about
9 months. They were soon congratulating her, and the soon to be grandparents, and soon to be aunt and uncles, Paige, Trace and Jeff.
Later, they all sat around sharing pictures and stories. Lexa sat next to Jeff and his father as they leafed through a scrapbook full of backstage wrestling shots.
"Hey Amy come here and take a look at this." Jeff said. As they reached a couple of pages with old pictures of Team Xtreme. Amy walked over and looked down at the pages, a small smile
coming to her face as she looked at the pages.
"Do you miss it, since you hung up your wrestling boots?" Jeff asked.
"Sometimes. But I am really happy with where I am now. And once the Luchagors
album releases I won't have time to miss it. But I do miss everyone." She said, then looking at
her watch. "I really better go, I have a flight to catch."
Amy said her goodbyes to everyone. Then Lexa and Jeff both walked her to the door.
"So your inviting us to your wedding next summer, right?" Jeff asked giving Amy a hug.
"Of course." Amy said hugging back. She was recently engaged to her producer.
"Take care of yourself." Amy said, tears coming to her eyes. "And don't be a stranger."
"You either." Jeff replied.
Then Amy turned to Lexa. "Thank you so much for inviting me here. It meant a lot to just be
able to be here with everyone. And if you or the baby need anything at all, please let me know."
Amy said hugging Lexa.
Slowly, amongst tearful goodbyes everyone left. Soon the only people left in the house were
Jeff, Lexa, Paige, Trace, and Shannon. Jeff's dad had been taken home by friends, insisting
that Jeff stay here, and that he would be fine. He was even tougher than anyone realized.
Lexa's mom and aunt Meg had gone to the hotel.
"You guys wouldn't mind if I stayed here would you?" Shannon asked. "I'll take the couch."
"Of course Shan, your welcome to stay." Lexa said as they all sat outside watching the sun go down.
"I'll take the couch, man. I've gotta leave early anyway." Trace said.
"Thanks." Shannon replied nodding towards Trace.
Paige hadn't left Lexa's side since she had gotten into town two days ago.
Lexa looked up from her spot in the patio chair she was sharing with her sister, at the sinking
sun. She had always loved sunsets, the sky magically being painted by the hand of god.
Vibrant pinks and deep purples, infused by blue and the radiant orange of the setting sun.
She had photographed more sunsets than she could count, she loved this time of day more than anything, she and Matt would often watch them together. And if she was inside during sunset
she would open all the curtains and let the house be filled with the magical glowing light.
But this particular sunset had such finality to it, it ripped at her heart. She didn't think she would ever be able to look at the setting sun the same again. Sadly she looked away from it, then she looked over at Jeff who was sitting by himself with tears in his eyes staring up at the sky.
She got up and walked over to him, sitting down next to him on the grassy spot he had picked, away from everyone else. As she settled in the grass next to him, he looked over at her and then put his arm around her shoulders.
"Isn't this how we started out this day?" Lexa asked.
"Yeah, but it seems like years ago, not just this morning. This was so..." Jeff stopped and just looked at her.
"Hard." She said finishing for him. "I know." She said.
"You know I couldn't have gotten through this without you." Jeff said looking at her.
"And I definitely couldn't have gone through this without you." Lexa replied.
"I have a feeling we are just gonna have to keep being there for each other.
Tomorrow, life happens." Jeff said.
Lexa nodded her head slowly, in sad agreement. The last few days had been surreal, and had ripped her world apart. She didn't know how she would begin to put it all back together.
She then looked down at her stomach and touched it as a small smile crossed her face.
This was it, this was what she had. The greatest gift Matt could ever have given her.
She would have a living breathing piece of him, forever. That was going to get her through this.
That was what she had to hold on to. That and her best friend and in Matt's words, soulmate.
She looked over at him. "Yes it does, and we made Matt a promise."
Jeff dried his eyes with the backs of his hands. "Yes we did."
And they both stood up to head inside with the others.
