-1***
Three (Post ep: Secrets, pre Tok'ra I and II)
Sam Carter woke up abruptly, feeling hot and stifled in her sleeping bag. She glanced around the quiet tent; Daniel was sleeping deeply on her right side, beyond him, Teal'c's bag was empty as he took his watch, and the colonel had his dark, sleepy eyes watching her as she turned to her left and looked over at him.
"Carter? You okay?" His voice was low and quiet.
"Fine sir," Sam laid back down, untangling herself from her bag and settling down into it smoothly, "Sorry I woke you."
"S'okay."
They drifted off into silence for a long while. Sam closed her eyes and tried to sleep, but all she could feel was the heat and weight of the tent pressing into her. She'd had so much trouble sleeping lately, since coming back from Washington and seeing her dad. She'd been happy to see him again, it had been years since they'd last spent a decent amount of time together; she'd been enjoying herself even, until he'd brought up NASA, and then later, his cancer. Now all Sam could see when she closed her eyes was the image of her dad's disappointed face when she'd refused his help to get her 'dream job'. She sighed and rolled over in her bag, unintentionally tangling herself again; she righted her sleeping bag, trying to keep the rustling to a minimum.
"Carter?" the colonel called to her quietly, "Go to sleep."
"Yes sir." Sam squeezed her eyes tightly shut and forced herself to stay still. She managed for thirteen minutes. Hoping the colonel had drifted off to sleep, she turned around in her sleeping bag; only to come face to face with a wide awake Jack O'Neill.
"Carter, has anyone ever told you that you think loudly?" His voice was still a whisper so as not to disturb Daniel.
"I think loudly?" Sam doubted that very much.
"Yes, it's like I can hear your super smart brain ticking over as it invents some new type of astrophysical theory… or whatever it is you think about at night," He broke off, seemingly embarrassed about mentioning her night time thoughts, and an uncomfortable silence floated between them. Sam struggled not to smile at him; he was cute when he got embarrassed, not that she should be thinking about her C.O. like that.
"I'll try to think more quietly, sir," she said instead.
"I doubt that's possible," Jack replied, and this time the quiet moment between them was comfortable.
Sam wondered what her dad had thought of the colonel. She supposed if he had been anyone other than her C.O., they would have got on like a house on fire. They both had similar senses of humour, were career Air Force and lived alone. If she was to think much more deeply about their similarities, it might worry her, but Sam Carter was not about to go down that particular path. It didn't matter what her dad thought of O'Neill; she doubted they would meet again. She wasn't even sure how much time her dad had been given by the doctors; he'd only answered his phone once in the two weeks since she had seen him in D.C..
"Knew you couldn't think quietly." The colonel's whispered voice interrupted her thoughts again.
Sam gave him a sheepish smile, "Sorry sir." She felt slightly uncomfortable that she had kept him awake, but even so, a small part of her was grateful for the company.
"How about you tell me what's on your mind, then once you get the quarks, atoms and ions out of your brain we can both sleep."
"It's not science on my brain, sir," Sam couldn't seem to help herself from blurting out the words, "It's my Dad."
"General Carter?"
"Yeah, he has cancer," she said softly. It was the first time she had said it out loud to anyone. She hadn't even had the chance to ask if General Hammond knew.
"I'm sorry Sam," the colonel's voice was genuine, "If you need anything, time off or anything… we've got your back."
Sam nodded, closing her eyes, feeling at least for the moment that she wasn't alone in dealing with her dad's diagnosis. Mark wouldn't even take her calls; she'd left countless unanswered messages on his machine and she was beginning to think that not even the threat of death would heal the rift between the two Carter men. She'd tried to reconnect the two men in the past, but Mark had been holding a grudge against their dad since they had lost their mom and it had gotten worse over the years, extending to Sam when she had joined the Air Force. Jacob Carter could also hold a grudge, he hadn't even tried to repair his relationship with Mark or showed any concern when Sam had told him Mark wasn't speaking with her. Now Sam was starting to think Jacob may have developed a grudge against her and was ignoring her as punishment for refusing to take the opportunity he had given her for NASA.
"He said he could get me into NASA," Sam quietly told Jack the one thing that still weighed heavily on her, "He was so disappointed when I told him I was happy at the SGC."
Jack sighed, "He's your dad, Carter, I'm sure he just wants you to be happy."
She shook her head, "He's not like that. My goal was always to be an astronaut… he thinks I've given up; not that I'm happy."
Jack didn't answer her for awhile, then he said softly, "Give him time Carter. Parents aren't perfect."
Sam saw experience in Jack's eyes and remembered that he had been a father too, once. She nodded feeling the sadness weigh heavily in her chest, "Okay, I just… I'm not ready to say goodbye yet."
Jack shifted for a moment before he pulled his hand out of the sleeping bag grabbing her own where it rested on top of her bag and squeezing it tightly, "You won't be alone, Sam," his voice was warm and comforting.
She stared at him still feeling the sadness, but it wasn't as crushing as it had previously been. Sam let Jack's calm eyes and the warm grip of his hand comfort her until she felt tired once again. She drifted off, feeling hopeful that the next time she called, her dad would answer the phone.
***
End Part Three
