EmPOV-

Edward and I sat in my room playing Grand Theft Auto. I was trying to forget about the awful shit I said to Bella. I tried texting her, but it said her number was no longer in service. I mean what the fuck? I just talked to her two days ago. Edward and I were talking about it.

"Seriously though dude, what the fuck? I know I was an asshole, but she gets rid of her number? That's all kinds of fucked up!" I ranted.

Edward shook his head, "Um Emmett, weren't you the one to tell the girl who loved you that you were never in love with her, when you spent months having sex with her?"

I groaned, "You make me sound like such a douche-nozzle."

"You are a douche-nozzle Emmett. Have you spoken with Alice?"

I threw the controller down, "Well fuck my ass and call my Freddy, I completely forgot. Thanks bro!"

He grimaced, "You know that you're all kinds of fucked up right?"

I smiled, "Hell yes I am!"

I bounded out of my room and down to Alice's room. I pounded on the door.

"Alice, Alice bo-balice, banana-fanna, fo-falice, me my mo-malice, ALICE!" I called.

No answer.

"Alice Brandon McCarty, if you don't open this damn door I'm gonna piss excellence all over your Porsche!"

If that didn't get her to open her door, nothing would. She didn't open the door, so I checked the doorknob.

The door swung open. No Alice.

I could've sworn she said she'd be home early, 'cause she had to study. I mentally shrugged and decided to call her.

"Hey Dick-mett." She answered. What the balls? What did I do to her?

"Hey Al-ass." Heh, I was fucking hilarious.

"What do you want?"

"I want to talk to you."

"Well we'll be home in like a minute."

"We?"

"Yeah, I'm bringing a friend over for dinner."

"Do I know her?"

I heard giggling, "I'd say so."

"Who is she?"

"M.Y.O.F.B. ball sac."

"Who pissed in your Wheaties?"

"I'll talk to you later."

"What the fu—"She cut me off.

"Kaythanksbye." And then she hung up on me.

What in the mother fucking, donkey raping, corn eating, tittie sucking, shitfuck was that for? Alice rarely swore, and even more so, she rarely called me a name. If she swore and called me a name at the same time, I fucked up.

But what did I do to her? I couldn't think of anything. So I went to the fridge and pulled out the piss 'o' the gods, also known as Mountain Dew and turned on the radio. My song came on, so I started to sing.

"Hey! You're a crazy bitch. But you fuck so good I'm top of it. When I dream. I'm doin' you all night. Scratches all down my back to keep me right on."

I was thrusting my hips in the air, being all seductive-like when I heard laughter coming from behind me.

I turned slowly to see Alice standing behind me waving her arm above her head like a lasso.

"Ride-em cow boy! Oh don't stop on my account 'fuck-upcherry'. Our guest would love to see your dance of seduction."

I frowned, "One, fuck you short-shit, two who is our guest of horror?"

She turned around, "Hey you can come in now!" She called.

Oh for the love of all things boner-worthy. In walks hell in a skirt. This hot piece-o-ass was in a teeny-tiny strip of fabric, that she was trying to pass off as a skirt and a skin tight, blood-red corset and delicious come fuck me boots.

I smiled sexily, "Well hello my sexy little vixen," I crooned, "Who may I ask, are you?"

She smiled, "You know exactly who I am."

Son of a pigfucker. Bella.

"Bella?"

"Give the boy a treat. He knows who I am! Whoop-di-fucking-doo." She said sarcastically.

"What the hell happened to you?"

She shrugged, "I've grown-up Emmett." She walked over to me, and placed a hand on my thigh, slowly sliding it upwards. "And I've moved on to bigger, better things."

When she said bigger and better, she squeezed Lil' Emmie.

"Hey-now miss thing, I think you know I'm bigger and better than anything around here."

She smiled wickedly, "I wouldn't go as far as to say that. Mr. McCarty."

I was about to say something back, but Edward walked into the room and stopped dead.

"Oh hey Edward!" Alice chirped.

"Uh…Alice." He gulped, "Who's your friend?"

He looked from Bella to Alice and back to Bella again.

"Oh I forgot you haven't met my best friend. This…is Bella."

His mouth dropped open.

"The Bella?"

Bella smiled, "The one and only Bella Swan." She stuck out her hand, "It's so lovely to meet you Edward. I've heard so much about you from Alice. She says you're her favorite brother."

Bella shot a pointed glance my way, and I stuck my tongue out at her.

"Um, are you staying for dinner?" Edward asked, politely.

She nodded, "Yes, if that's alright with your parents, Edward. You see Alice and I spent the day together, and my father is down at La Push with his friends, watching some baseball game. Alice was kind enough to invite me to dinner, so I wouldn't have to eat alone."

So this is how she's gonna play it, hot and cold. She's dressed to kill, that was probably for me, but sweet as pie to everyone else.

"I don't know Bells; you said you never wanted to speak to me again."

She narrowed her eyes, "I'm not here for you Emmett. Alice and I have recently become best friends. It seems we have more in common than I thought. Do you have to be so self-centered?"

"I'm not self-centered; I just wanted to remind you of what you said the other day."

I jumped a little when Alice snarled, my stomach landed in my ass.

"What the fuck was that for pixie?"

Bella interrupted, "Shall I remind you what you said to me the other day?"

My eyes widened as I understood. "Never mind. I don't care if you stay for dinner."

"It wouldn't matter if you did Emmett. She's my friend and I can have her over any time I want." Alice snapped.

"You know what Alice, if you're gonna be a bitch, don't talk to me."

I picked up my Mountain Dew and sat down at the kitchen table.

"So Edward, are you still dating Tanya?" Bella asked sweetly.

Edward got a goofy smile on his face, "Yes we are still involved. She means the world to me."

"That's wonderful. I'm very happy for the both of you. Since I plan on hanging out with Alice a lot, will I get to meet her?"

He nodded vigorously, "I truly hope so. I have a feeling you'll get along."

I snorted, "Yeah, right. Bella and Tanya friends? I'll believe it when I see it."

Bella frowned, "What do you mean by that?"

"Okay let's compare you both. Tanya—virgin, uber-Christian, mean, and she's a bitch. Bella—not a virgin, I don't know if you're a Christian, usually nice, and usually not a bitch. Although right now the last two are subject to change."

Bella flipped me the bird.

Edward snarled, "How dare you speak about my girlfriend like that. She's never been anything but nice to you!"

"Sorry Eddo but she's kind of a bitch. She really needs to get laid."

"Just because she chooses not to have sex before marriage, does not make her a bitch. It makes her responsible."

"Oh my God Edward. Cut your prudie shit out. Why don't you go fucking knit something? Or I know even better, press wildflowers." I spat.

He frowned muttering something about art is art.

Just then our parents Carlisle and Esme came home.

"Hey C-lizzle. What it is Esme?" I said with a serious look on my face.

Esme looked confused, "What are you saying Emmett?"

Alice cracked up, "Do you know that you sound like you have a disease?"

I flipped her off.

"Emmett McCarty! I raised you better than that! Apologize immediately!"

I mumbled my apologies and turned back to my pop. My beloved Mountain Dew was the only thing not yelling at me.

Esme turned to face Alice, looking back and forth…Alice, Bella, Alice, Bella.

"Alice, who is your friend?" She asked politely, obviously taken aback by Bella's lack of clothing.

"This is Bella. Bella this is Esme."

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. McCarty, you have a lovely home." Bella stuck her hand out. But Esme pulled her in for a hug.

"I'm so glad that Alice brought a friend home. Please call me Esme."

Esme introduced Bella to Carlisle, who excused himself, saying he had some last minute work to do, but that he would be back down when dinner was ready.

I needed to get out of this hell-hole. Bella was making friends with my entire family. But I didn't know where to go. JASPER! That's it! I'd go to Jasper's and hang out. He was always up for some bro-time; hopefully he'd gotten over his aversion to me and was down. So, I picked up my phone and called him.

"Jazz-a-rino!" I bellowed when he answered the phone.

"Yeah?" He asked, seemingly annoyed.

"Dude, Bella's here. Apparently she's bff's with Alice. And she's staying for dinner. Help me."

He sighed, "I'll be right over."

"No Jazz, I was gonna—"He had already hung up.

Oh cockballs. This night was just gonna get even worse. Whenever Alice and Jasper were together, they spent their time giggling and staring into each others eyes. So I'd probably be left out completely. Edward was getting along with Bella, Alice loved her, and Jazz thought she was the shit. So I get to sit all by myself with my thumb up my ass.

Not ten minutes later Jasper arrived, completely ignoring me, saying hello to Esme and made his way to Alice and Bella.

Alice squealed when she saw him, quickly jumping up and into his arms.

"Jazz." She whispered.

"Alice…" He murmured in response.

I gagged.

Alice got down and Jasper gave Bella a quick hug.

"It's good to see you Bells."

"You too Jasper."

He smiled, "Why is it that Alice and Emmett knew you were here before I did?"

She laughed, "Well, Alice is my best friend…and Emmett…uh…never mind."

He nodded not questioning her further, which I was grateful for.

Jasper and Alice settled onto the couch, and began whispering to each other. I averted my eyes, feeling like I intruded on something not meant for my eyes. When I looked up again, Bella was gone from Alice's side. I felt a light tap on my shoulder.

Fuck. Not good.

"Hi." She said softly.

"Um…hey."

She smiled, "Look. We need to talk."

I nodded.

"Okay, since you're being all quiet for once, I'll take control."

Fuck, fuckity fuckballs. New Bella was turnin' me on. I couldn't respond.

"Wanna go for a drive before dinner? So that we can hash this bullshit out?" She asked.

"Yeah. Sounds good."

We made our way for the front door; she turned back and threw a wink at Alice, who nodded. What the hell?

We took her car. Mostly because I wanted to be in it again, and because I thought it might be the last time I would have a chance to be in it.

She turned on the stereo and loud music screamed at me. Bella was into the Smiths and the Cure…not whatever the hell this was.

"Who the fuck is this?" I asked.

"Nine Inch Nails." She answered, giving me a look, telling me that I should know who they are.

I took a moment to listen to the lyrics, maybe I just didn't know this song and I couldn't remember the name of the band.

'I wanna fuck you like an animal.

I wanna feel you from the inside.

I wanna fuck you like an animal.

My whole existence is flawed.

You get me closer to god.'

I reached my hand down to change the cd and she slapped it away.

"What?" I asked confused, there could be no way that she wanted this music.

"Driver picks the music; shot-gun shuts his cakehole."

"Since when do you listen to this crap?"

She shrugged. I had only realized that she had been driving when she pulled the car into park.

Bella turned to me.

"I want to apologize." She said softly.

"What?" I asked lamely.

"You heard me. I feel like shit. We were friends before all of this, and I don't want to lose that."

"I should really be the one sayin' sorry here, Bells. I didn't mean to yell at ya like that. You just caught me off guard."

She shook her head, and her new short hair playfully slapped her face. "Yeah, let's not go into all of that. I just wanted to let you know, that I'm happy for you. And that I'll be on my best behavior."

She smiled.

"Uh…okay."

She stuck out her hand, "Friends again?"

I took it, "Most definitely."

"Good. I'm glad we got this straight. Let's head back."

"Kay."

Truth be told I was a little scared of her. I thought she might've had some sort of personality disorder. We headed back home and just as quickly as we had left, we were back at my house. Get ready for awkward dinner 101.

BPOV-

He totally bought it…sucker.