4. Infomercials, Murder, and Rape, Oh My!

Edward.

When we got to my apartment building, I was faced with the difficult dilemma of how I was going to get Bella upstairs. I wasn't going to wake her up, so that idea was out. I contemplated calling Emmett to help me for all of...5 seconds before I labeled that as a "Bad Idea". He would either; a) say something inappropriate, b) do something stupid in his frustrated state, such as drop her and wake her up or, c) all of the above. I was definitely not going to risk that happening. I had a feeling that the former would be happening no matter what I choose, though.

I walked over to her side of my car to make my attempt get Bella out without injuring myself, or, worst case scenario, injuring her. Yes, that would definitely do nothing to help her already-splendiferous-day. (Did you know that's actually a word?! I typed out something close to it, then spell check told me that that's how you spell it, so I went to look on dictionary(dot)com, And, POOF! It's a word!!)

As I carefully pulled her out of the car, I became aware of how light she was. It was disconcerting, but it made the whole door-situation have a much brighter outlook. If she was this light, I wouldn't have to worry about possibly dropping her while I fiddled with the lock on the door, which apparently hated me. It just never wanted to open. EVER. Maybe it would spare me today. Hopefully it would spare me today.

Thankfully, no one was harmed and/or injured as I kicked the door to the Volvo shut as quietly as I could behind me. Once had I started walking, I realized that, without my jacket, it was freezing out. But my jacket was going to a much better cause right now, and I couldn't afford to be selfish when Bella had suffered so much today. Surely if she could walk miles in the freezing rain, I could go a few minutes without a jacket. I couldn't help noticing, though, that, even with the jacket on, I could still feel how cold her skin was through the multiple layers of fabric, and so, for both our causes, I sprinted as fast as I possibly could with her in my arms to the door.

I tried to fit the key into the lock, but it was being very stubborn. It just didn't want to go in, but I was determined. I kept trying to force it in, failing each time, when I finally figured out that I was using the wrong key. Oh wonderful. Why do I keep doing that?

Cuz you're a moron.

Shut up! Stupid brain. It always just has to be right.

Oh great. Now I'm having a mental conversation with myself. That's a new one.

So, anyway, I tried my other key, and, poof! Like magic, the door opened.

Humph. Common sense could seriously be a buttface sometimes.

I sighed, but started walking up the first flight of stairs. Our apartment was on the fourth floor, and at this rate it wouldn't take too long to get to the room, which was necessary, as I could feel Bella starting to shiver in my arms.

When I was nearing the third flight, I heard something that I assumed everyone else in the complex could also hear; Emmett's voice.

"STUPID WALL!!" Well, it looked like I wasn't the only one having trouble with inanimate objects this evening. "Getting in the way of my pencil! The nerve!!" That, however, was a new one, and very interesting, even for Emmett.

I stifled my laughter as I realized that he was so frustrated with this stupid paper that he inadvertently took it out on the wall. I felt sorry for the other people in the building who were sleeping.

I glanced down, concerned for the person in the building sleeping in my arms. Bella must have been out cold. I didn't even feel her stir at the sound of Emmett's booming voice. Definitely a first.

By then I had reached the door, but I didn't really feel like messing with the keys and the locks again, so I just kicked the door (hoping that Emmett took it for a very loud knock) and said, "Emmett, open up!"

Obviously, he figured out that it was me, cuz his response was; "DO IT YOURSELF!"

I almost laughed at that little comment, seeing as how he was still frustrated from the pencil-thing. He was probably going to give himself a hemorrhage. Much to my and Jasper's delight.

"Emmett. Open. The. Door. It's kind of important." I said as calmly as I could manage, trying to control myself.

"I AM A LITTLE B-"

"Open the flipping door before I kick it down and make you pay for it!" I yelled at him, throwing control out the window.

"Scary. OOOoooo...seriously. I need to pay for a door. The horror!"

"Just do it!"

"Oh, fine, but stop being so pushy, Eddie." Why? Why does he feel the need to call me that?!

He opened the door, and a look of both shock and the expression we (Jasper and I) had labeled the, "Emmett's-about-to-make-a-comment-that-we-really-don't-want-to-hear" face. And that's exactly what I got. A comment that I really didn't want to hear. The look doesn't lie.

"Well, lookie here, Eddie brought a girl home!" 'Haha. Just freaking hilarious.' I thought as I rolled my eyes.

"Not in the way you think." I said as I ran to my room to put Bella on my bed so she could sleep. I pulled back the covers before gently placing her down and tucking her in. Her hair spilled forward to cover her face, and without really thinking about it, I brushed in back behind her ear. I quietly closed the door behind me before walking back to face Emmett.

I should have walked slower, as he had this wonderful comment waiting for me:

"Wait...she's that girl from the mall right?"

Oh great. There was no way to escape this, so I just nodded. A wide grin spread across his face at that particular piece of news.

"OOOooohhh!!! Scandalous!" He said with the most ridiculous expression on his face.

"You are such a girl, you know that? And, in any case, it's not 'scandalous' at all. I met her in the mall, yes, but then I saw her on the street and, as it turns out, she was walking for an hour out there" –I pointed towards the window overlooking the parking lot, where it was still raining at almost sub-zero temperatures– "and she had nowhere else to go, so I brought her here."

And technically, that was what had happened, albeit in a nutshell. I wasn't going to just tell him everything she vented when she opened up. I'm no girl like Emmett, but wouldn't that be betraying her trust? I refuse to be responsible for that.

"Suuuuuuurrrrree....mmhmm." He said skeptically. He sounded as if he was prying, and there is nothing more annoying than that. It kind of reminded me of that absurd girl from high school...what was her name again? Oh yeah. Jessica Stanley. That was it.

"No, really." I was going to explain myself further, but when Emmett gave me yet another incredulous look, I quickly changed my approach. "Did I mention that she is Alice's best friend? I was just helping her out."

His mouth fell to the floor in mock horror. "OH MY GOD, YOU–"

"No. I didn't."

"BUT YOU–"

"SHUT UP!" I whispered angrily "You're going to wake her up, you idiot! Plus, what does it matter? I'm just helping her out because she had nowhere else to go! You don't have to jump to conclusions! I repeat: you are such a girl! Seriously! You're going to be that old guy at the nursing home that gossips more than the old women do about their grandchildren!"

"You know what Eddie? Shut up." He said, flinging the nearest pillow at me, which I agilely dodged. He sighed, clearly disappointed that he missed. "Ugh....I have to get back to that stupid assignment...If I don't finish it, bad things will happen..." He had an unmistakable grimace on his face now. He must really not like this assignment.

"What do you have to do?"

"I have to write this stupid story about whatever I want, but it's just so hard when they're not telling you what to write!" He said while whining like a spoiled child.

"Your logic is impeccable, Emmett, honestly." I inquired sarcastically. "What do you have so far?"

"Well, I was thinking about doing this story about these 2 people who fall in love with each other, but it's forbidden because both of their families hate each other. Good, huh?"

I honestly tried my hardest to keep from laughing, but I just couldn't help myself. "Emmet, I wouldn't do that if I were you!"

"Oh? And why not?" He said while looking at me crossly.

"Because," I said through my laughter. "It would be plagiarism. That idea's already been taken."

"By who?!" He said like he honestly didn't know.

"Shakspere. That's Romeo & Juliet, Emmett."

"Well then...I'll just make it more modern."

"West Side Story." I told him. I heard him curse under his breath, but decided it would be best if I ignored it. "Why don't you do something simple?"

"Like...?" He pressed. Great. I knew where this was going. I was going to end up doing it for him in the end, like always.

"Oh no. I'll give you some ideas, but you are writing it yourself."

He rolled his eyes. The nerve. "Of course I will. Don't I always?" Big-fat-flipping-NO.

"No, you may be surprised to hear this, but actually you don't. It's either me or Jasper that does it for you. We might as well be the ones going up to get your diploma when" Wrong word. "If you graduate."

"Well, gee, thanks, your undying support is genuinely appreciated. Again, thanks."

"I do hope you realize that I don't have to give you any ideas." That'll shut him up.

"Sorry." Ha. He was so predictable!

"Sure. Anyway, what about...." I was going to say something, but he cut me off.

"Nothing too long. I don't want to be up all night. Nothing to boring, either."

"I'm giving you the ideas. You get what you get. So, as I was saying..." I thought about things that might grab Emmett's attention enough to give me some peace and quiet for a while. "...How about this raid that takes place in the future of America where this guy comes in and whips out most of the race with this super-machine gun except for this one family of people who try and kill the guy but in the end everyone dies." Not exactly my forte, but maybe Emmett would enjoy it.

"GENIUS!" He said with the stupid grin on his face again as he turned back to the screen to start typing.

"What? No 'thank you'?" I said sarcastically as I sat on the couch and turned on the TV. Pfft. Like Emmett would ever say 'thank you' without someone giving him the incentive to do so first.

"Thank you Eddie, so very m–"

"Stop." He sure did know how to annoy people, didn't he? He had practically made it an art form.

"Okay." He turned back around and ignored me completely for about an hour.

********

Grrr. I hated this time of the day.

The time where absolutely nothing is on TV except lifetime movies and those annoying infomercials that no one watches. The ones that I am currently being forced to watch, since I avoid lifetime like the plague. Yes, those.

"DO YOU HAVE THIS?!?! WELL, IF NOT, YOU NEED TO GET ONE!!! IT WILL INCREASE YOUR DAILY WORK OUTPUT BY 50 PERCENT!!! CALL THE NUMBER AT THE BOTTOM OF YOUR SCREEN RIGHT NOWAND GET....blah blah blah." Gah. When did I become such a masochist? Seriously, sticking needles in my eyes would be less painful than listening to Billy Mays go on and on about something-or-other-that-no-one-really-needs. (Anyone ever heard of him? He really gets on my nerves.)

It was about 1 in the morning at this point, and Emmett had fallen asleep at the desk, so I couldn't even annoy him.

Jasper was probably still with Alice and....Alice! Oh great. They're probably looking for Bella! And, when they don't find her, they will probably assume the worst. Rape, murder.... Oh Joy. Wonderful. WHY DIDN'T I THINK TO CALL HER EARLIER?!?!

Stupid, stupid, STUPID!!

I mentally kicked myself for being such an idiot.

I jumped from the couch and grabbed my cell phone off the ledge as fast as humanly possible. I began searching through the contacts, knowing the Jasper was in there somewhere. Yes! Found it! I though victoriously as I pressed 'talk' and put the phone to my ear.

After the third ring, I heard a frustrated voice on the other end answer me. "Hello?"

"Jasper? Yeah, we have to talk ab–"

"Hey, Edward? Hurry up, I need to tell you something." Why did everyone feel the need to cut me off tonight?!

"Would the 'something' that you need to talk about involve Bella?" I said all in one breath. I sounded like I had just gotten punched in the stomach.

There was a brief pause, then he continued. "Yeah....How did you know?"

"Well, I was getting some coffee and I saw Bella walking and she looked sick so I asked her if she wanted to come back to our apartment and she said sure." Breathe. "...So I drove her here but she fell asleep in the car, so I carried her up to the room and let her sleep on my bed and I was just watching some infomercials when I remembered that I didn't tell you guys and so I ran to the phone and now here I am." BREATHE!! My lungs screamed. Ow. Never again will I try and say so much without coming up for air.

"Oh!" He sounded so relieved. I felt really bad now. If I had told them as soon as I got back, they wouldn't've had to go through that. It's all my fault. "Let me just tell Alice! Hold on!" I heard that his voice was more distant, but still caked with relief. "Alice, Bella's at my apartment!" Then a half angry/ half relieved high-pitched voice. "WHY?!""I'll tell you on the way there, k?" He said to Alice, I assumed. "Okay, I'm back. We'll be right over there, alright?"

"Sure."

"Wait...is she okay?"

"Yeah. She might be sick, though. I'm not really sure, but other than that, she's fine." I told him, more calmly this time.

"Oh. Good!" I could almost hear him smile on the other end at this news. "Be right there!"Click.

I let out a sigh of relief, knowing that her friends knew that she was okay. They'd be here soon, and they'd know what to do. I didn't.

At that exact moment I heard a very strange noise; A loud thud, something that sounded like, "Holy–!" and a faintly muffled profanity. By elimination (It wasn't me or Emmett) I knew it was Bella who said it.

I got up from the couch (yet again) and sprinted to my room to see what happened. As I walked in, I didn't see her on the bed. Huh. Strange... "Bella?" I called for her, confused.

I heard her groan before I saw some ruffling of sheets coming from the opposite side of the bed, on the floor. "Help?" I heard her say as she gave up on her futile struggles to get up.

I walked around the bed to where she was. I was planning to help her up, but when I saw what position she was in, I had to try and not burst out laughing first. "Bella, should I ask how you managed that?" She was impossibly wound up in the sheets. It was like those games I used to play in middle school where they made you stand in a circle and link hands with two different people across the circle and then try and untangle all the arms without letting go of each other's hands. (Ever play that? I advise you not to. It took my group about an hour to accomplish that.)

She sighed, but explained anyway. "I guess I rolled off the bed and landed like this," she gestured toward herself as best she could in her current state. "Help, please?" She said with a pleading look on her face.

I chuckled, but helped untangle her.

When she was free of the sheets, I held out my hand to her to help her up. She took it, and when she did, I couldn't help but notice the shock that ran through my body. It didn't feel wrong, so I welcomed the feeling.

"You seem to fall a lot." I inquired, reluctantly releasing her hand.

"You have no idea." I heard her mumble. "What time is it?" She asked more intelligibly.

"I don't know...I think 1:30-ish, give or take."

"In the morning?" I heard disbelief seep into her tone as she took this in. I nodded and her face fell. I'm not sure what was so funny about it, but I couldn't help but laugh at her expression. "Wonderful. Well, I'm awake now, so what is there to do at 1 in the morning here?"

I thought about for a second, but came up blank. "...Not much. But Alice and Jasper on their way here, so you don't have to look for something very time consuming....Hey, are you alright?" I asked, suddenly remembering why she was here in the first place.

She looked confused at my sudden change of topic, but she answer anyway. "I...guess so. My head hurts, but that could just be from the fall. Other than that, yeah, I think I'm fine." My eyes narrowed a bit at the word 'think'. She seemed fine now, and that's all that really matters. "Alice and Jasper? This late?"

"Well...Jasper lives here," I started to explain, but gave up on that plan-of-attack. "And also because I forgot to call and tell them that you were here until about 5 minutes ago." I admitted sheepishly.

"Ugh...I completely forgot that she would be picking me up...and I didn't even think about what would happen when she didn't find me at the restaurant!" She turned to look at me gratefully and said, "Thanks. For...everything, I guess."

I wasn't really expecting that. "Uh...no problem, really. I probably could have called them a bit sooner, though...."

"Eh, that doesn't matter much. I'm sure Alice will've forgotten it by tomorrow." She shrugged it off.

"I highly doubt that. You technically went missing 5 or so hours ago. No doubt they've called a search party by now."

She sighed. "Well, I guess you're right. Alice is prone to overreaction in that way."

"Overreaction?" Was she serious? "Bella, if Alice went missing for 5 hours, wouldn't you call a search party, too?"

"Oh...well, uh...I guess I never really thought about it that way...but I would, of course."

"That's how Alice probably felt."

"Yeah...you're right." She paused for a second, probably thinking about something. "So when are they gonna get here?"

I thought it over for a second. "I'm not exactly sure. They only called a little while ago, but god knows how far away they were. They could have been all the way on the other side of state looking for you, you know."

"I don't think they'd go that far. Not for me at least..." She was looking down, suddenly interested in her shoes.

"Excuse me?" Did she seriously just say that?

"Nothing." She said quickly, as to dismiss the topic. I also noticed that she blushed, for what reason I'm not sure of. "So...is there anything to do until they get here?" I was still shocked by what she had said, but I decided to let it go.

"Umm....we don't have much, but..." I racked my brain, trying to think of anything that would sound appropriate for 1:30 in the morning but nothing came.

"Do you have anything I can read to pass the time?" She asked.

"Yeah. I have a lot of books, if you want to read those." Her eyes lit up at that, and I couldn't help but smile in response.

"Do you happen to have 'Wuthering Heights'?"

I hadn't really expected her to pick something along the lines of a classic, but I guess I should have. "Yeah. Here," I said handing her the book after I had located it in my shelves. "Wait, what part are you at? I can find it for you." I offered.

"No, that's fine. I've already read it, quite a few times actually, so I'm just going to start from the beginning again." Wow. She was re-reading it. I definitely didn't expect that.

"Oh. Okay then. You can go out into the other room and read on the couch if you want."

"Sure. Thanks, again." She smiled, and walked out into the other room with no difficulty, but that simply could have been because it was just down the hall. I was getting the impression Bella was very clumsy. As she sat, she must have seen Emmett at his desk using his keyboard as a pillow, because her face looked surprised, slowly turning to incredulous. After a moment or so, she looked up at me and asked; "What...who...why is he...?"

I smiled at her comment. Emmett really was in an odd position, so I wasn't surprised that she had asked, but the way she phrased the question was comical. "That's Emmett. He just fell asleep, that's all."

She seemed to be deep in thought before she responded with; "See. I told you that if he fell asleep it would be my fault."

I rolled my eyes at that. So she remembered. "No, he finished, I checked, I just don't think he had enough energy to get to his room."

"Well, if I hadn't spilled what should have been his coffee, he would have had enough energy to get back to his room," she retorted.

I didn't really have a comeback for that. She beat me. "Fine. You win this time."

"I didn't realize we were playing anything." She said with a smirk.

"Touche." I said, returning her smile.

BN (beta reader's note): If ThePurpleDragonOfAmazingness keeps this in, I would just like to apologize, as it is my fault this is getting up so late. Be sure to thank Jazz for updating and review to tell her how awesome she is. I hardly had anything to do, cause she is an amazing writer like that

--

AN: my Beta (sekhmetkitty002) is just amazing. She just is.

THREE songs this chap!

A Twist Is My Story -- Secondhand Serenade

Who I am Hates Who I've Been -- Relient K

When The Day Met THe Night -- Panic! At The Disco

All of these songs can be found on the second playlist I posted on my profile, so please go check it out.

--Jazz