5. A Very Interesting Night

Bella.

I was in the zone. The zone. See, I have this thing that, when I read, after a couple of minutes, absolutely nothing else matters. I stare at the page and read, and I hear nothing. This is the zone.

Only a few things can break my 'zone' state. Actually, only one thing can.

I was just getting to the part where Catherine died when I heard that one thing.

"OMIGOSH, BELLA, YOU'RE ALRIGHT!!!!" Alice.

She ran over to the couch and gave me a bigger hug than I even thought possible for a person of her size. "Alice– can't– breathe!" I gasped after a minute or so of her squeezing the life out of me.

"Oh well." Of course Alice would say that. "Deal with it! I assumed that you were murdered or kidnaped, just to find out that nothing happened to you, and you expect me to just let you go?!"

"YES!" I tried to get out. "Alice, you're– crushing– me! Get– off!" I said, getting as much breath as possible before saying each word.

"Alice, her face is turning blue...I really think you should let her go!" I heard Edward say.

"YOU KNOW WHAT?! Fine. I will. You are all just dream-pee-er-on-ers."

I exhaled sharply, then took in the biggest breath I had ever taken in my life, rejoicing in the fact that I could inhale again. I honestly didn't think I would ever be able to use that luxury again.

When I was sure Alice and Jasper weren't looking, I turned to Edward and mouthed, 'Thank you, again' and he just smiled and nodded. I returned his smile, just before I was assaulted by Alice again.

"Bella, are you okay? What happened? How did you find Edw–" She was cut off by a loud bang that occurred about 10 feet away from where we were.

We all turned to see what it was, only to find that Emmett had tipped his chair until it fell on it's side, taking him with it. He sat upright when we looked at him, but he looked around, confused, with a dazed look in his eyes. "Wha....heyeveryone....wazgoinon...?"

Alice had lost interest in him. I know this because she turned back to me a bombarded me with questions, yet again. "Anyways, how did you find Edward? Why where you walking? Why didn't you call? How did—"

"ALICE! Chill. Okay, first, that guy, Mike? I want him to go die. Worst. Date. EVER. No competition."

"Awww...I'm so sorry! I didn't realize he would be that bad!" She tried to defend herself.

"It's fine. I forgive you. It's all good, Alice. Anyway, I'm fine. I was walking because the date was horrible and I wanted to leave after the first 40 minutes, but you drove me there, so I had no form of transportation."

"You should have ca– "

"My phone died. So I was out walking for about an hour when I ran into Edward and spilled the coffee he had gotten...he drove me here because he recognized me from the mall today. That's about it."

Alice then pulled me into a lighter hug, much to my liking, and she started to try and explain herself; "Bella! If I had any idea it would turn out like that, I would have never put you through that! I feel so bad now, you have NO idea!" She let me go so that she could look in my eyes, which were pleading and glimmering with sadness at the nights events.

She didn't have to do that. Didn't I already forgive her? She must feel really bad, I thought. Great. Now I feel guilty. "Alice, it's okay. I don't mind, really. At least it all turned out fine, right? Isn't that all that matters?" I said, trying to get Alice to drop it; she hadn't done anything. She couldn't have planned this, that would be impossible! So what was she apologizing for?

"Yeah, but if Edward wasn't there, what would you have done then?" She continued. Was she trying to blame herself? That really doesn't sound like something she would do...

"I don't know. I guess it was just good that he was, though."

"You got that right!" She said before getting up and swiftly dancing over to pull Edward into a hug, all the while chanting, "Thank you, thank you, thank you SO much!' like a mantra. He clearly didn't look comfortable. I sent him an apologetic glance, hopefully getting across that this was normal. Alice often changed topics at the drop of a hat like this. Her ADD doesn't allow her to remain on one topic very long.

When she finally let him go, he exhaled just as sharply as I had. "For what?" He managed to get out.

"For saving Bella, silly!" She said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I could have sworn I saw his cheeks get a little redder, but it was probably just my mind playing tricks on me. "Oh, uh, it was...no problem, really."

Alice slipped him a knowing glance, at what I don't know, but Alice just does these things. I gave up trying to figure out what they meant a while ago.

"No, seriously, thanks." I managed to get in. I just wanted to let him know that I really did appreciate it, just in case my other 500 attempts to let him know that it wasn't just a "no problem" situation were being ignored.

"It's no big d–" he stared.

"Yes, Edward, it is a big deal." Alice told him. "Get that through you thick skull. It. Is. A. Major. Deal." she said, play smacking him on the back of the head.

"Ow! That really hurt." he mocked her by feigning pain.

She didn't seem to notice the 'mocking' part. "You deserved it."

"Oh? How so?" he raised one eyebrow at her.

"Well, you save Bella and bring her home and–"

"And that deserves a smack on the head?" he finished with a sarcastic smile. I let a giggle escape from my lips; I liked how he could turn a fight with Alice, even just a playful one, in his favor with one line. I could never do that. Plus, in context, it really did sound absurd.

His eyes darted to my face and he smiled, just to be caught by Alice's furious gaze. I could almost see the steam coming out of her ears. She did not like being one up-ed, and I could tell.

"You know, Eddie? I was not done. I was going to say that–"

"Yes?" He knew he was getting on her nerves now. Apparently, that thought made a huge grin spread across his face. It was pretty funny to watch; they went at it like brother and sister.

"STOP CUTTING ME OFF!" She fumed. I laughed this time, despite my efforts to hold it in. I had never seen her so flustered!

Edward laughed with me, but Jasper valued his life to much to tag along. Emmett had fallen asleep again. How he managed to do that, I don't know.

Alice locked eyes with me, and demanded, rather harshly; "What's so funny?!"

"I-I'm sorry!" I said through my fit of giggles. "I've just never seen you so frustrated before!" I explained.

"Well, don't plan on ever seeing it again." she said, just slightly more calm than before.

"I'm gonna go...make some coffee while I calm down." Alice said as she stole out of the room.

"She does realize that it's 3 in the morning, right?" Edward whispered in my ear.

I jumped back and blushed when I saw it was just him. The proximity startled me; I had no idea he had gotten that close.

"Did I frighten you?" he asked while he chuckled at my response.

"Yeah. Kinda. Just a little. Not much."

"Sure." he said with the same playful smile on. "I just didn't want to wake Jasper up." He nudged his thumb in his general direction, which was on the reclining chair, near the window on the far side of the room.

"Oh." so he wasn't laughing because he valued his life...he wasn't laughing because he fell asleep. That explained everything. I don't think that even Jasper would pass up the chance to laugh at something as funny as Alice when she's mad.

"So, does she know that it's a little late to make coffee?" he restated. He didn't seem annoyed at all that I ignored his initial question.

"Oh yeah. The time of day isn't really a factor at all when it comes to her and caffeine." I told him truthfully. It was true. She could name every member of the staff at both the local and non-local 'Starbucks' cafes.

"That makes sense." he chuckled as Alice came right back in.

"You realize that I can hear you, right?" she seemed slightly annoyed at what she heard. Weird. I didn't see anything wrong with the conversation.

"You realize I don't care, right?" he retorted. There he goes again! Why couldn't I do that?

"You know what?" she threatened.

"What?" he challenged, the same wide grin on his face

She raised her eyebrow, giving him a questioning glance, and she looked as if she was saying, 'You-did-not-just-go-there.'

He glanced back smugly, as if replying, 'Yeah-I-went-there. And-I-bought-property.' (Sorry. I had to put that. My friend said that to a guy in Social Studies the other day, so it's all stuck in my head. Now it's out.)

She walked back out of the room, clearly not happy with the turnout of this instalment of 'Alice vs. Edward'. She was visibly fuming now, and she didn't bother to hide it.

"Do you find personal enjoyment in destroying your life?" I whispered to him when she left.

He jumped a little, and I couldn't help but snicker a little bit. "Did I frighten you?" I quoted him mockingly.

"Yeah. Kinda. Just a little. Not much." he quoted me while smiling at my comment. "But I don't understand the question."

"Well, Alice is going to set out to make your life miserable now, and I wanted to know if you enjoyed destroying said life." I elaborated, still whispering so that she couldn't hear.

"Ah." he said as he thought. After about ten seconds, he looked at me with the smirk again and replied; "Yes. I enjoy it a lot. Though I don't think I am destroying my life." he added afterward.

"I beg to differ." I warned him.

"Naa. I do that every time I see her. I'm still alive, right?"

"Clearly." I joked. "I wish I could do that."

"What?" he asked, confused.

"Annoy her like that!" I told him. "That was the funniest thing I've ever seen!"

"Really?" I nodded. "Well, then watch this." he said, just as Alice popped back in, carrying coffee.

"Hey, Alice?" he began conversationally.

"Yes? Are you ready to apologize?" she wondered skeptically.

"Not a chance." he smiled, but it was different. It lit up his whole face. I was going to enjoy this. "Quite the opposite, in fact; I just wanted to point out to you that Jasper is sleeping."

She paused, as did I. I had no idea where this was going. "...And?" She finally pressed.

"I thought that may have been bad news for you. Seeing as how you can't do anything with him tonight, and all." His eyes were shimmering with glee, and I'm pretty sure mine were, too.

Alice's face went from pale to red in a record 0.2 seconds. "You...I...YOU!" She accused, or half-accused, seeing as nothing really came out intelligibly.

Edward quickly jumped up from the couch and ran around, leaving me on the couch, yet again overcome by a fit of giggles.

Alice ran for him and, seeing as it is a small area and Alice is very fast, she caught up with him, jumped on his back, and proceeded to beat him with a book she had picked up while she ran.

He laughed joyously, clearly not in pain. He toppled to the floor with Alice and he continued to laugh, even though she was still hitting him. I was still laughing at the absurdity of what I had just seen, and I'm pretty sure my face was red just from laughing so hard.

Edward and I just kept going until Alice finally gave up on the beat-Edward-to-death approach and stood up to scold us. I, however, had other plans. I could not stop laughing, and I didn't know why. I just was.

Alice was still red faced, and her gaze was switching from me to Edward, who apparently couldn't stop laughing either. Her face just made me laugh harder, and before I knew it, I had rolled off the couch and landed on the floor with an 'Oof!'.

This made Alice crack. She broke out into uncontrollable laughter, managed only by holding her gut for stability.

We continued laughing for several minutes, none of us able to shift our positions; I was still on the floor, unable to get up, as was Edward, and Alice was standing, but barely. She had her hands on her knees and she was breathlessly laughing. We calmed down eventually, and then began talking.

"That was funny." I stated when the laughter died out. I was sure that my face was still red, and my smile was plastered to it.

"I agree," Edward said, a smile just as big as mine and Alice's was on his face as well.

"Not the first part, but Bella falling of the couch was enjoyable to watch." Alice added.

"Oh, lighten up," Edward tried to reason with her, "it was all in good fun."

"Yeah." she half-heartedly snapped. "Fun for you."

"Exactly." he said with the smirk on his face.

"Ha. Very funny."

"It was." he continued.

She, in all her graduated-from-college, successful-adult, high-level-of-maturity-ness...stuck her tongue out at him.

I giggled again, just because I couldn't help it.

Both of them turned to look at my face, and I laughed again. I had no idea why. Soon, all of us were laughing again, all of us on the floor this time. Alice had lost her balance during the latest laughter session.

Just as the laughter began to fade, a thought occurred to me. "How are Emmett and Jasper still asleep?" I voiced.

Both of them turned to look, as if they hadn't even noticed they were there. Well, I had forgotten they were there.

When they turned back to me, they just shrugged with a nonchalant expression. I shrugged as well, showing it wasn't that important.

"They don't know what they're missing." Edward said while looking at me.

"Yeah," I agreed. "It's hard to believe how bad this day started out...." I trailed off, remembering.

Both of them grimaced in unison. So they remembered too. Well, of course they would.

"Well, it's a new start, I guess." Edward finally broke the silence, pointing at the digital clock above the muted TV.

"Wow. 4 o' clock! I didn't know it was that late!" I truly lost track of the time.

"Time flies when you're having fun." he stated.

"True. Very true." I admitted.

"So, I'm tired now, and are we just going to leave Emmett and Jasper here?" Alice added into the conversation.

"You...you're tired?! How can you possibly be tired after all the coffee!" I was dumbfounded.

"Well, I didn't actually make coffee, silly! I just needed to get out of the room!"

"Oh." Well. I didn't expect her to say that. I have never heard her say, 'I didn't make coffee' after clearly stating, 'I'm going to make coffee'. I guess tonight was just, 'see Alice do strange and un-Alice-y things night.'

Or maybe it was just my mind reacting to the tired-ness. Or maybe I hit my head when I hit the floor...oh yeah. I'm still on the floor. Right. I so knew that.

I involuntarily yawned as I tried to get up. I staggered, but Edward caught me again. Funny. I didn't see him get up.

"Thanks." I mumbled.

"So, what are we going to do with them?" Alice said again as Edward steadied me.

"I say that we leave them. Jasper looks comfortable, and Emmett doesn't. Perfectly fine with me."

"Good plan!" Alice gave him a thumbs up.

I giggled but gave him one of those cheesy smiles and a double thumbs-up to show my approval.

"Well, I'm taking Jazzy's bed–"

"Since you know your way around it so well." Edward jumped in.

"Hey. Don't go there." She warned. "Anyway, I'm taking his, and, Bella, I seriously advise you not to sleep in Emmett's bed. You may just come across a stray piece of pizza or something in the bed. Nasty." she had an expression of horror on her face to show her disapproval. "That just leaves you with Edward." she smiled at her obviously devised plan.

"No, it's fine. I don't want to inconvenience anyone. I'll just go in Emmett's bed. I doubt it's as bad as you say."

"No, it's as bad as she said." Edward added.

Alice nodded in agreement, and I narrowed my eyes. I knew what she was trying to pull. I just wanted to see what she would do. "Well, like I said, it's really his apartment and I don't want to get in the way, so I'll sleep there."

But it wasn't her who reacted. "I do hope you realize that I'm not allowing you to sleep there." Edward chimed in. "You run the risk of being eaten alive. We have no idea what could have found its home in there. Plus, the scent might make you faint. I'm not letting that happen." he warned. Could anyone's room really be that bad? "Besides, you have already been in my room, so you've seen that it is remotely clean."

Ugh. I was so going to lose this fight. Not just because of logic, but because my will power started crumbling the second his eyes burned into mine. "But, I–" I tried to get out.

"Oh, Bella! I have some clothes here that you could sleep in!" Alice said excitedly. I had forgotten that she was even there.

I just sighed. "Yeah. Sure. Whatever." I said, turning back to Edward as she stole out of the room.

"Man, I really hate when she does that..."

"What?" he asked, smiling smugly like he already knew.

"Put me in awkward conversations. She just had to go and bring up the option of me sleeping in your bed!" I paused, thinking that over. "That just sounded really wrong." I concluded.

He chuckled, and that made me blush. "Stop laughing at me!"

"I'm not laughing at you. Just your choice of words." He corrected.

"Same thing."

"Not really."

"Whatever." I conceded.

"Here ya go!" Alice said as she basically attacked me with the clothes she had thrown. She should have known better; I was never one for hand-eye coordination. Or coordination in general.

Despite the fact that she had thrown them right at my face, I still managed to flinch away enough to let them slip right through my fingers...or five inches from my hand, to be more specific.

Edward caught it effortlessly before it even hit the ground. He snickered, but handed it to me.

"You're laughing at me again." I pointed out in a small voice.

"Am not."

I shot him a questioning glance, and he just snickered some more. I let out a frustrated sigh. "Where's the bathroom?" I asked, to change the subject.

"Down the hall, to the left." Alice pointed it out. When I tried to locate it myself, I had been making no progress until Alice huffed and pulled me by the wrist in the right direction. I just got lost in a 4-by-4 apartment. Wow. Nice.

I wanted to take a shower, but I had no idea how to work it, so I called out; "Um...how does the shower work?" I heard a snicker from the other room (most likely Edward) and an angry sigh, which I'm guessing was Alice. Alice came in and turned the water on for me. "Thanks."

"No prob. Besides, I find enjoyment in the fact that you can't even figure out how to work a shower."

"Haha. You're funny." I said sarcastically. She just stuck her tongue out at me and turned to leave. As she was passing through the door frame, she turned slightly to give me a wicked grin. "Oh, and have fun with Edward tonight."

I blushed, but came to my senses fast enough to find something to throw at her. She turned to run, but not before I could fling an unopened toothbrush at her. It would have hit her, except for the fact that she closed the door behind her as she ran. At least it was a toothbrush, and it didn't leave a dent in the door or anything. I heard her giggle on the other side of the door, from the living room I presumed.

--

When I finished my shower about 10 minutes later (Alice had shampoo and basically any other bathroom necessity know to man stocked in here) I got dressed and walked out to see Edward and Alice playing a game of poker.

Alice looked up with a smirk on her face. I guess she had a good hand. "Go. Fish." she said slowly to exaggerate the moment.

Well, at least I thought it was poker.

Edward's face dropped in defeat, and he threw his cards down to the table.

I snickered at them. They seriously were like brother and sister.

Both of their heads snapped up to meet my eyes. Huh. I guess they didn't know I was here.

"How long have you been standing there?" Alice wondered.

"Long enough to see the end of your game."

"Oh. Yeah. You saw that. Well, we take games very seriously here." she explained.

"'Go Fish'?" I smirked. "Real serious."

"Hey." she wagged her finger at me. "No knocking my game approach."

"OKAY Alice. Whatever you say." I replied.

"ANYWAY," She exaggerated to get my attention away from the previous conversation. "I made the bed that you and Edward are going to sleep on." she got one of those evil glares again. "Since, you know, I walked in and the sheets were all messed up from you two doing who-knows-what."

I could feel my face going completely red now. "I-I fell!" I tried to explain, to no avail.

"Suuuuuuure." She rolled her eyes.

I flushed. I was so frustrated that I didn't know what to say. "Ugh!" was all that came out.

"Alice, that was really uncalled for." Edward said calmly. How did he not take offense in this?

"Eh, it was still funny." She shrugged it off.

"Oh. Yeah. Hilarious!" I said as I walked out of the room, my face still red, I'm sure.

"Alice, did you really have to say that?" I heard Edward say from the other room.

"Well, I thought so, but now I feel bad..."

"You should." Edward stated. By now I had made it to the bedroom. I walked in and closed the door behind me. The light was off, so naturally I had problems making my way to the bed, but I got there. I was about to get under the covers when I heard the door open partially and a wedge of light enter the room. I had to squint to see who it was.

"Bella?" Edward said.

"Yeah?"

"I'm here to apologize for Alice. She doesn't really want to admit it, but she was wrong for saying that." He explained. "That, and I'm here to sleep. It's already four-fifteen. If I don't sleep now, I'll never wake up tomor– today, I guess."

"It's fine. What I think is funny and what Alice thinks is funny are two different things."

"Yeah, I implied as much, judging by your reaction."

I blushed. "Yeah..." I trailed off as I got into the bed and faced the wall. I heard him snicker, but then I heard him yell, "Goodnight, Alice!" into the other room.

I managed a half intelligible, 'Night.' before Edward shut the door and got into the bed on the other side.

"Goodnight, Bella." I heard him say quietly.

"Goodnight, Edward." I said. I'm not really sure if he even heard me. I was already half asleep when I said it. "See you in the morning..." I trailed off. I don't know if I even got that whole sentence out.

BN: (sekhmetkitty002) Okay, the PurpleDragonOfAmazingness is in fact so amazing that I didn't have to do anything except write this note. Anything. That, my friends, is amazingness. You should be able to look forward to many speedy updates in the future, as she and I am having an UPDATE BATTLE! May the fastest typer win!

--

AN: TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THE MOVIE! I've already seen it 3 times. (12:01 on Friday morning, 9:20 Friday night, and 4:30 today (Saturday) ) I was only supposed to see the 9:20 one, but when you beg, you get things. I, personally, thought that the first time was mildly painful to watch. I think the shudder in biology part was gay, as was the part where he stared at her like a molester in the same scene. Oh, and did anyone else notice that, when James bit her, Bella kinda-sorta looked like she was having an orgasm? Or was that just me?

On a plus side, the rest of the movie was really good. Charlie was the star of the movie. "I'm down with the kids." "Oh yeah dude. You're the bomb." he was funny! :) Watching it the 2nd and 3rd times were much easier, once I knew what to expect. The kiss scene was great, too. Here were my cousins views: (she hasn't read the book) "Was she like, trying to have sex with him? Cuz I just looked and she had like, no pants on. I don't know if she took them off, but then he like, spazzed out, so I assumed." And my new brother-in-law, Chris, said: (he hasn't read it either, and he came with me 2/3 times to the movie) -after the 2nd time- "Man, that movie is good. I so wanna be a vampire now. I feel so gay, voluteering to go twice and all, but it was good!" He liked the part were he climbed the tree. And the fight scene. Of course. He is my age (12) after all, so that's about what I expected from him. Also, did anyone else notice that, 1) they never once said 'I love you', and 2) no one ever mentioned Jasper's power at all? Jasper was kinda creepy. Didn't he only have, like, 3 lines?

All in all, I really liked it. I know I'm kind of opinionated, but oh well. It was still a good movie!

-Jazz