This story focuses on Kadaj and this continues after AC. I guess it is slight AU sense he didn't die after the battle but I think there is much more to Kadaj so here is my fic.
This is in first person present and Kadaj's thoughts are in italicized.
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Falling….
Falling…
I felt myself falling.
I feel the burning flames all around me, in my body.
I hit the ground but don't. I land on something but it was still dark in my world.
I don't want to open my eyes for He may be there. The one that mother loves so much more than me or my brothers.
He burns so hot and if mother wants him more than me then I'll be what she wants.
I can feel the sunlight beaming on me but it not bright on my face or I'd see all red. I open my eyes and there is a bright light coming at me through blond hair. Oh… it is brother Cloud. He is beloved by mother as well though he doesn't want it. Looking up at him from his arms, it's so bright like it turning white. Wetness; it fell on my face but from where? It is rain but the sun is out, above me. I look into big brother's face but he doesn't look mad only irritated as usual with a sad look too. He is the last thing I see before every thing goes white.
I wake up in a bed of flowers as in that church where I recovered mother, and became one with my other. I look around and its pure white I spin around and still nothing but white. I feel my chest get tighter as I look for something or anybody. Then I spot something lying in the flowers. I walk up to it tap it lightly with my foot. It groans? I turn it over and see it Yazoo but he hurt. He seems to be sleeping because I see he's still breathing as his chest rises and falls. I sit him up and try to hake him awake but he doesn't stir at all, very unlike Yazoo who hardly ever sleep especially around others.
I hear something behind me and I see Loz kneeling in the flowers but he not crushing any around him. I look around me and see that the flowers that were under Yazoo aren't crushed either but they are soft as if a pillow or something. I lay Yazoo back down and stride toward Loz and as I get closer I see that he bleeding bad and clutching a wound in his chest. When I reach him he doesn't acknowledge me as I squat down in front of him. There is blood on the perfect flowers and it dripping out of his chest. I put some between my finger and rubbing them together on my leather covered fingers. He lifts his head and looks at me with tears in his eyes about to fall. I take me hand that was dipped in blood and wipe under his eyes, "Don't cry Loz." But this time I feel sincere. He let out a low laugh and falls on his side eyes closed and tears falling down his cheeks.
I feel so at loss; I don't know what to do now. I stand up and look around but, I see nothing except white and these accursed flowers. I decide to go over to Yazoo's body and put next to Loz's as I straightened him out to lay flat. I am not one for sentimental things but Yazoo looks like old teacher full of knowledge but with his hair spread out under him it looks like he is lying on silk. I look at Loz and see a big child that can throw a tantrum. That awful hole in his chest catches my attention as I see something inside the wound. It is a shallow wound so I ran my gloved hand over the wound and felt a solid object in his chest. I inspected it and pulled out a small stone or pebble that was embedded in his chest.
It glowed with an odd color but I feel a sense of bliss from looking at it.
"It is a pretty pebble you have there, Kadaj." I spin around and see this women face in front of me smiling at me with a kind smile.
"Who are you? And how did my brother and I get here? How do you know me name? I have never meet you before." I stood up looking her in the eye.
"Oh, I am Aeris. I know you and your brother because I watch after my dear friend Cloud after I was killed years ago. I help him and that why I'm here for you, Kadaj." She swung her hands behind her back and leaned back smiling.
She wore a pink everywhere with a huge pink ribbon in her hair. She reminds me of someone but I can't remember. "So you are here to take care of my brothers and me?"
"Umm. No, I'm only here for you because you are destined to do more things and you are still young, flexible and I think that you will be able to live in the world without Jenova there to hurt you. I cannot help your brothers though," she shakes her head sadly, "they can't be brought back but you must be able to go on without them even at you are lonely or depressed. They're ready to leave I guess and they left to protect you. I can't revive them but I can make so you can see them but only here. Their bodies have already gone back to the life stream while yours is still on the planet below us; hypothetically that is. I guess we are floating."
She sure seems to tell the truth but what I am to do without them with me. "What should I do once I back now? I have no purpose now with mother telling what to do." I didn't mean for it to come out whiny but it sounded childish after I said it.
"Well if you need a mother, I can be your mother now. I already watch after Cloud and all my friends still living. Eehhh! I have also been the mother type so I'm told but I did have a chance. I think I could make a much better mother than Jenova you know. I have a whole body, I care about you not what you do for me and I think that Zack would be okay if I took care of another one."
"Stop! This is too much. Stop talking!" I cover my ears so I won't hear anymore. I just don't know what I suppose to do. Darn I can feel my eyes watering but I'm not sad or hurt so why would I cry especially in front of this strangely kind woman.
"Oh. I am sorry. I did mean to overwhelm you. Please don't cry Kadaj I'm here for you." Then Aeris opened her arms and wrapped them around me. I feel warm in her arms it so queer but I do want to leave it. I feel the tears running do my face but they are irrelevant now. She smells like the flowers but with a bit of her own smell as if she is the original and the flowers smell like her. Inhaling the scent I feel at ease but as I exhale the breathe turns into a sob, then sobs.
"Why ... (sob) I am... crying? (sob)"
She pulls away without breaking the embrace, "Those are tears of happiness, Kadaj. Your heart's happy that why you are crying. It is okay to cry those; so cry Kadaj cry as much as you need.
Then I close my eyes and slept without nightmare or anything at all for the first time.
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This is a re-do I kind of beta'd it myself and I hope that I fixed most of the problems. Please review!
Oh, I am using queer as in wierd not a gay person, okay. I just wanted to make that clear.
