Christmas Lullaby
Stille Nacht (Silent Night)
The first Christmas after Kiryu had been hard. Especially since that had happened near the end of October, so none of them had much time to recover.
Crow had taken it especially hard. He had been closer to Kiryu than either Yusei or Jack, and he'd seen the murder happen. He insisted again and again that Kiryu had been saving him from getting put away and they should try to get him out somehow, but none of them really believed that. Even if that was Kiryu's goal, there were better ways than murder.
Yusei planned to spend Christmas with his Main Satellite group. Just from that, Jack knew there was something wrong. Yusei hadn't seemed to be effected as much by what had happened, but for him to ignore one of their yearly rituals...the Yusei he knew wouldn't do that.
Then Crow told him that he would probably be spending the day looking for another place to live where his little group of orphans would be safe. Jack knew then that he had to do something. He himself had been depressed for weeks after what had happened, but he wasn't about to let it stop them from celebrating Christmas together.
"Yusei," he said the night before Christmas Eve. "I want to spend Christmas with you. Without the others."
"I already told them I'd spend it with them. We can do next year—"
"We've always spent Christmas together, ever since Martha started doing it with us," Jack protested.
Yusei just looked at him with those calm eyes he always had when he thought Jack was being childish. Jack could see clearly now the pain that had clouded them. He couldn't believe he'd missed it before.
"Please don't talk about that," Yusei finally said, looking away again. Jack grabbed his arm and chin and forced his eyes back.
"We'll never get over it with we avoid each other," Jack said, staring into Yusei eyes, hoping he understood. "We have to forget about Kiryu, forget that he did this. If we don't pretend nothing happened, he'll never leave us alone. He'll always be controlling us."
"I don't want to forget Kiryu," Yusei said softly, almost in a whisper. But Jack could see that he understood, that he wanted to live again.
"Me neither," Jack answered, letting him go. Yusei smiled, though it was barely there. Still it was the first smile Jack had seen in two months and he would take what he could get.
"Where were you planning to do this?" Yusei asked.
"We'll see when we meet up with Crow," Jack answered with a shrug. Yusei nodded and went back to his work.
They left early Christmas morning, as soon as the sun had risen, since Yusei's new home was a fair distance from the bridge into B.A.D. Satellite. They didn't reach their old hideout until around noon, and by then, Crow was gone and clearly had been for a while.
"Did he say where he thought he might go?" Yusei asked.
"No, but it's obvious," Jack said. He pointed to the half arc shape in the distance. "He's obsessed with the Daedalus Bridge."
They didn't find Crow until late afternoon. He'd set up camp in a decrepit shack almost in the shadow of the Daedalus Bridge. When they found him, he was running about playing tag with his orphans, but something about the way he moved showed his heart wasn't in it.
He paused when he saw Jack and Yusei approaching. He stared at them for a moment, then he quickly ushered his kids to go eat dinner. He himself couldn't get away before they reached him.
"I don't want to see you guys," Crow said, crossing his arms.
"So? When has that ever stopped us?" Jack said, mirroring him. Crow snorted and looked away.
"Please leave. I know why you're here."
"Why?"
"For our stupid Chirstmas crap." Crow shook his head violently. "I'm never celebrating that stupid holiday again. I told you that."
"We brought presents," Yusei said. "We'll just leave them if you really want us to leave."
Crow's hands clenched on his arms. His shoulders were shaking. "Don't bother. I'll just throw them out."
Something caught Yusei's eye. He looked around for the light. Crow had set up a small plastic tree in the shack and had found flashing lights to put on it. Yusei look back at him. Crow was trying not to show that he'd noticed that Yusei had noticed.
"Do you really want us to leave?" Yusei asked quietly.
Crow tensed and started shaking more. Suddenly he turned on his heel and stalked into the shack, a loud "Damn it!" passing his lips.
Jack and Yusei glanced at each other before they followed him.
The first Christmas after Kiryu had been hard. Crow had taken it the worst, and he spent half the night cursing or trying to hide that he was crying. Yusei had almost left a couple times, eyes so full of pain that Jack had almost let him. Jack was surlier than usual, and he and Crow started sniping at each other more than once.
But once the day was over, and Yusei had fallen asleep against the wall, and Crow had fallen silent but didn't look ready to cry, and Jack had calmed down completely, everything felt like it had before the Incident. Jack felt comfortable helping Crow carry Yusei into the next room to lie him down on a threadbare futon. And it felt right for the three of them to fall asleep together again.
And the next morning, when they woke to find two inches of snow outside, they could almost pretend they were kids again.
