Chapter Three

What the fuck was her problem, thinking she could come into my room and demand an explanation. The truth? Fuck the truth. I turned the letter over and over in my hand. I knew that she didn't deserve the attitude I was giving her, but if I didn't, she'd see through my act for sure and get it out of me. She already knew that I was hiding something. At least this way I could get her mad and buy some time to think about what I was going to do. I knew it was an invasion of her privacy, but when I saw who the letter was from, I couldn't help it. She didn't need this, not when she was everything was going good. I read the letter over for the umpteenth time.

Valerie,

I'm currently living in Los Angeles, in the same building as your Aunt Nita, and I hope that everything is going well and that Tyler's family is giving you the love and the support that you deserve. I know it's been six years since I've last seen or spoken to you, but I want you to know that I still love you, and I hope my absence did not lead you to think otherwise. Although I am hardly in the position to make demands, I hope that you will consider my request.

I need you to come to Los Angeles. I miss my little girl, and although I know I can't make up for the time we lost, it would be good to at least try and make amends. You can contact me via e-mail or phone, it's the same number.

Best wishes and hope to see you.

Love,

Your father

I crumpled it up and threw it across the room. How was I going to tell her? How was I going to fess up and tell her that I stole her mail? That I had it for weeks? I mentally kicked myself in the head for being an asshole to her. Part of me knew that her going to visit him would be good for her; it would give her some kind of closure. But the other part didn't want to tell her at all. She was going on without him just fine, why would she want to go see him and then lose him all over again? I didn't want to let her do that. I groaned and put my head in my hands. All of a sudden, my door flew open, and there she was, standing there.

"You know, just because you're in a bad mood doesn't mean you can be an asshole to me. And I know you're hiding something, so why don't you just tell me?" Urgh. After a long pause, I got up from my place on the bed and walked to the place I threw the letter.

" You got this in the mail a while ago. I wasn't sure if I should tell you." I watched as her eyes quickly scanned the letter. She read and re-read it, as if not believing her eyes. The whole time, I just stood there, feeling like an idiot. What am I supposed to do? Sorry, Val, but I did it for your own good. She'd definitely smack me upside the head for that.

"You had this for three weeks and you didn't bother to tell me? Is this why you're being so weird around me? What else have you been hiding, huh? Tell me!" I looked at her, with an awestruck expression, clueless.

I stuttered. " Uhh…I didn't know how you would react. I wasn't sure if you could take it." Stupid! The moment the words were out of my mouth, I knew she was going to get into a fit.

"You weren't sure if I could take it? We're not little anymore, Tyler. I think I'm old enough to handle this on my own. Jeez, you act like I'm some sort of porcelain doll. I don't break easy, you know."

"That's not it, and you know it. I know you can take it, I just meant that you shouldn't have to." She stared at me for what seemed like hours, until finally she moved. She slowly sunk to the floor, a defeated look on her face, still holding the letter. She looked up at me with pleading eyes, as if begging for a way out. I hated seeing her like this. Anger I could take, but not this.

The year after Valerie's mom died was the worst. She was like an empty shell, emotionless. She was there, but not really. Her laughing and smiles never reached her eyes. Then her dad had to go and leave her like that. He may as well have killed himself, because leaving by choice sure as hell didn't do him any good in my eyes. My mom looked at him with a 'you've got to be kidding me' look on her face. Even though she didn't approve of what he was doing she told him that she would take care of Val like one of her own. After her dad left, we went down to our favorite place in the park, a sort of circle of trees with a huge space in the middle. It was like a secret canopy, with years of tag, hide and seek, and secret missions. We laid on the ground, the top of my head to hers, our feet pointing opposite directions.

"Sorry about your dad."

"Why? You didn't make him go away."

"I know. But it's not fair. I wish I could get you another one." She cracked a small smile as a tear slid down her face. That was the first time that I had I ever seen her cry, and I hated it. I felt helpless, I couldn't bring her mom back, and her dad didn't deserve to be her dad. I didn't matter that I was only ten, all I knew was that someone hurt my best friend, and I hated him for it. I pulled out my Swiss Army knife and cut my left palm and hers. She didn't ask me any questions, she just looked at me with a vulnerable look in her eyes. I took her bleeding hand in my own, and held it tight.

"Repeat after me, but with your name. I, Tyler Stephen Corneille, solemnly swear to be the best friend you ever had, and our mixed blood makes us blood brothers."

"I, Valerie Jolene Ramos, solemnly swear to be the best friend you ever had, and our mixed blood makes us blood brothers." After that, I promised myself that I wouldn't let anyone hurt her like that again. Her voice brought me back to reality. "I can't believe this. All this time. Things are on track, and now this happens. I don't want to get my hopes up."

"I don't get who the hell he thinks he is, barging into your life like this, thinking that it's all good." She didn't respond. She just stared at the letter with a blank look on her face. I added, "But you know Val, it's on you. I mean, I'm not saying he deserves it, but if you think you should go…" I trailed off, seeing that she wasn't really in the mood to talk. I sat back down on my bed, my chin in my hands and looked at her. Was Valerie always this small? She sat on the heels of her feet, kind of slouched over, her black hair swinging forward and masking half of her face. I was completely helpless, I had no idea what to do. I knew she was tough, but I hated that fact being proved to me over and over again whenever fate decided to be a bitch. Why couldn't I keep my promise? It seemed that no matter how hard I tried, I could never keep away the bad.

"I don't know if I want to face him, you know? I mean, sending a birthday card and a Christmas present every year doesn't make up for him not being here for like what, almost six years? He missed out on all the important days in my life. You know I tried to write him and e-mail him a few years ago, but he didn't even have the decency to write back…No. You know what, forget it. Why should I do this for him?" As I listened to her talk to herself, I could sense her making the pro-con list in her head.

"Whatever, screw it. I don't care anymore." She seemed to say it more to convince herself than me.

"You sure?" You don't look like you don't care.

"Since when have you been his world's biggest fan?"

"I'm not. You just don't look so sure."

"Well, I say I'm not going. I wanted to yell at him for…but maybe… oh, whatever, I don't wanna fight about something that I don't care about." Oh man, did I miss something? I have no idea what she's talking about. Fight with who? I hate it when she talks in half sentences, so I just stayed quiet.

"So, is this why you've been so quiet? Because I don't think you should have wasted your time thinking about my dad."

"Yea. I just didn't know how to tell you." She tilted her head to the side and I knew she didn't buy it; not the whole thing being about her dad, anyway.

"Don't even start. I don't wanna talk about it."

"Why not? You opened my mail."

"Just…I'll tell you when I feel like, it, kay?" I hoping she'd drop the topic. I didn't want to bother her anymore, and she didn't need to know right now. It was my problem. I knew she would still be thinking about her dad and the letter. "Now that I don't need to think about what to tell you about your dad, I kinda wanted to sleep. I'm tired." She nodded. "Yea, sure."

She was probably thinking I wasn't telling her intentionally. I guess it's true, but I didn't want her worrying about something she didn't have to. I didn't like putting my stuff on her, and she knew that. It didn't stop her from prying though. But at the moment, I didn't really care if she was mad at me for keeping this away from her. This was one thing she didn't, and shouldn't have to think about. It was my thing. I plopped down on my bed and rested my head on my pillow.

When I woke up, it was dark in my room, the only source of light was from the lamppost out on the street, its brightness shining through my window. I turned on my lamp, got up, and stretched. I met Valerie halfway down the stairs.

"Oh hey, let's eat." I didn't like when she got like this. She was eerily calm, like an unfeeling robot. Trying not to analyze it too much, I followed her down the stairs and sat at the table next to her, along with my mom, dad, and Nathan. We were that kind of family that ate together all the time at exactly seven o'clock.

"So how was school?" My mom asked the usual question, and she got the usual answer from me and Val.

"Good." The rest of dinner went on with Mom and Nate talking about how work was going, and when he was planning to move out. Val sat beside me, silently cutting up her food into smaller and smaller portions and not really eating. I looked at my own plate and realized that it was still full. Thankfully, no one noticed, or if they did, they didn't pry. I couldn't stand it. I picked up my plate and went to put it in the sink.

"Sweetie, what are you doing? You're not hungry?" My mom asked.

"Uhh, yea. I ate a sandwich when I got home, so I'm not that hungry."

"Yea, so did I." I glanced at Valerie.

"Okay, well, if you two get hungry, there will be food in the fridge."

"Kay."

We silently dumped the remnants of our food into the trash. I could hear Val behind me as I went up the stairs, but I didn't turn around, and she didn't say anything. We closed the doors to our rooms and didn't say anything more to each other for the rest of the night.

"Hey Al." I lightly kissed her on the cheek.

"Hey." She was standing awkwardly by my side, and playing with her earring, a habit she had whenever she was nervous. This was killing me. I turned to face her.

"What is it, babe? Tell me." I asked softly touching her cheek and moving a stray brown curl behind her ear.

"I went to the doctor on Friday, and he said they need to run some more tests…" As she trailed off, she stopped looking at me and looked out onto the blacktop. I could see tears on the rims of her eyes. I didn't know what to say, so just pulled her into my arms. I couldn't believe this was happening. What was I supposed to say? It's going to be okay? I didn't know that. I wasn't sure of that. All I knew was that she needed me.