Disclaimer: I own nothing/no one except the plot.

I slowly opened my eyes and saw new scenery.

I was in a small room. A hospital room, I suppose.

The walls were a disgusting color of yellow with a wooden border at the top.

There was a small TV on a shelf that was nailed to the right corner of the wall.

The un-matching chairs next to my bed were content with mom and a sleeping dad sitting in them.

"Baby girl? Are you awake?" Mom asked me.

I nodded and tried to sit up, but it hurt too badly.

Mom noticed. "You bruised your back." She explained. "How in the world could you do that to me Miley? Do you know how scared I was? How scared Brandi was?"

"I don't know…" my voice was unintentionally in a whisper.

"Were you trying to commit"-mom struggled as she spoke the next word-"suicide?"

"No." I said honestly. "I thought- I thought it would ease the pain. Numb me. Knock me out for a few hours… I didn't know mom."

"Well that was very irresponsible, stupid, selfish, unreasonable and careless! You could have died Miley! If I didn't hear you sobbing… what if I wasn't home- Miley… I'm so disappointed in you." Mom said with a sigh.

"I'm sorry mom… I-" but my tears cut me off. I hadn't realized how much my mom's words hurt me.

"Oh sweetheart. Don't cry. I'm sorry. You just scared me so badly. I don't know what I would have done if you had… had died." Mom said stroking my hair.

"You were so close to not waking up; you were literally dying in the ambulance. Your heart stopped for 2 minutes. And they said it was something they'd never seen. Your heart started up again by itself. I don't know baby, it was a miracle. God knew it wasn't your time to go." She smiled.

I tried to smile, but it hurt because the air thing pushed up my nose more, if that was possible.

"Your prayers probably did the best for me." I said.

Mom smiled and got up. "I'm going to go get a doctor." She said.

I nodded as she walked out the door.

Dad was peacefully asleep next to the empty chair next to the bed. I looked around to study the room some more.

There was one window, covered up by a blue and white paisley curtain.

I looked down at the cover which was a beige color and sighed.

This room was a boring blob of crap.

I rubbed my head in frustration.

I had so many questions, but no one to ask them to.

"What the freak have I done this time?" I asked myself in a whisper.

You're such an idiot, Miley Ray Cyrus! A complete nut job! A voice in my head screamed at me.

You were only trying to help yourself, you didn't know. You were clueless. You've learned your lesson. A different voice reassured me.

It felt like the devil and the angel, sitting on my shoulders.

The devil on my right, telling me what a horrible person I was, when the angel-who was on my left- told me to forgive myself.

But as you always see on TV, when people side with the devil, I did the same.

But then I got to thinking. What if there was someone in the middle? Sitting on my head or something? Telling me I was a horrible person, but I needed to forgive myself?

I wish there would be. But of course, there wouldn't be.

I sighed and drifted back into a forced sleep.

-

Where ever my dreams had taken me now, I enjoyed it.

I was on a beach. A quiet beach, not like the ones you find home in California.

The only noises I heard were seagulls in the distance and the roaring waves before me.

There was nothing here but sand, trees and water, then me of course.

I looked around this place and remembered it.

This was a place I use to go in my head, when I was a child.

I always loved the beaches, the sand, and the animals.

But the only difference from when I was a five year old and now is that I was alone on this beach.

When I was a kid, my once Prince Charming sat beside me.

I guess that changed, since I had my Prince Charming. And Mr. Prince Charming decided to break my heart. Then go and die. Then haunt me…

I guess that's why I sat here alone on this beach. Because it was how it was in my reality.

Half of my soul had been taken away, I felt alone. Even though I had my family, I was alone.

No matter how many guys I kissed, I do's I said, how many kids I birthed, I never would feel whole because none of it happened with Nick… I remembered I wasn't going to let that happen.

I wasn't going to allow myself to love again. Kiss again. Even think about marrying anyone or God forbid, having children.

No matter what, I was not going to let that happen. Because I didn't want it.

Sure, my soul would forever crave the attention, beg me for love. I wouldn't give in.

Everything I wanted with Nick, I wasn't just going to give it to someone else.

The dream turned to a nightmare.

The bright sun disappeared, the calm waves turned deadly. The sand beneath me flew everywhere. Wind hit me in the face.

Something pushed me into the water. I struggled, I tried to swim, I tried to breathe as the water filled my lungs.

I got taken under in the waves. And the last thing I saw was Nick on the shore, safe and sound, laughing at me.

My eyes shot open. I gasped, even though I knew it was only a dream.

Mom shushed me as my breathing became uncontrollable.

"Is she okay?" Mom asked the nurse.

"Yes, she's just reacting to the medicine." The nurse sighed.

Something about this sigh made me think mom had asked this question many of times, to the same nurse.

Knowing mom, she'd be alarmed by every sudden movement.

"I'm okay." I murmured. I felt drained.

"She can go home tomorrow." The nurse told mom, looking at her chart.

Mom smiled widely. "Really? Oh wonderful!" she exclaimed.

That made me wonder. How long had I been in here?

-

I sat in the grass playing with different flowers in the backyard.

I felt the random urge to play in the backyard when I came home.

I felt very childish, immature.

I sighed and looked at the sky. A flock of birds flew across my head.

I held onto the bottom of my sleeve as I watched the birds.

My hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail and I had on shorts and a long sleeved shirt.

My toes curled at the sudden chill that went through my body. I had no idea what had happened.

I looked around. No sign of any difference. I blinked. Nothing disappeared. Why was I all of the sudden freaked out?

I looked down at my necklace and saw the time. I was an hour and half late.

They said if I was delayed, I'd start feeling panicked.

I got up and ran back into the house, up the stairs, down the hall, to the left through the door and into my bedroom.

I went into my bathroom and turned on the light. I started rummaging through my open medicine cabinet.

Advil- no. Midol- no. Toothpaste- no. The thing I was looking for was not in my cabinet. I went down a shelf and found what I was looking for.

My depression medicine.

Yes, that's right! Depression medicine! Tell the paparazzi and I'll get killed.

"Miley is Depressed!" one cover would say. "She's Addicted to Pain Killers at Such a Young Age." Another would spit.

The doctor had put me on it because of why I was admitted into the hospital.

It didn't really help me at all.

No one believed me that I actually wasn't trying to end my life. Easing the pain was all I wanted.

I turned on the faucet and got a cup. I half filled it with water then stuck the pill in my mouth.

I drank the whole cup of water, closing my cabinet when I was finished.

I stomped out of my bathroom and sat right down on the floor, putting my head between my knees.