Mrs. Robinson Chapter Five
Warning- This story is rated M, for erotic content. Mrs. Robinson is a ghost known for attacking males and due to the fact that Sam is a teenager, we felt the need to warn you.
A/N: Sorry for the delay, Liz and I took time to add a bit after two wonderful suggestions by our beta Floralia. Hope you guys enjoy the last chapter!
Sam was getting really tired of his brother's mother-hen impression, but just didn't have the energy to fight him on it.
The last few days had been a blur, of sleeping and being forced to eat upon waking. So far the fatigue had given him restful deep sleep free of nightmares.
Unfortunately, he knew the nightmares would come, they always did after a hard hunt. Sam knew it was because of his sensitive nature, and this hunt had really shaken him.
Facing off with a ghost that tried to drain your life force so that you could spend eternity with them is a bad deal in itself. Throw in being an awkward inexperienced teenager, that was groped and fondled by said ghost and that made this hunt all kinds of horrible.
"Sammy?" Sam's gloomy thoughts were interrupted by his once again hovering big brother.
"Yeah?" Sam huffed out.
"Kiddo, you know, I'm here to talk to if you want." Dean's tone was full of concern.
"I know, Dean and for the hundredth time, I don't want to talk about it." Sam tried to give his brother his best bitch face.
Dean let out a sigh. "Well, if we aren't going to have a sharing and caring moment, then we need to talk about leaving."
Sam's ears perked up at that statement. They had spent the last two days in the hotel, and Sam was so ready to leave.
"I'm ready Dean." Sam tried to sound strong and not desperate.
Dean smiled. "I know you are mentally, I am too. The walls are closing in. Dad wants me to take you to Jim's place and that's a bit of a drive, I just wanted to make sure you were up for it."
"I don't need a babysitter Dean! I want to go back home and to school." Sam felt his gut twist in anger. How dare his dad treat him like a baby. If it had been Dean that was attacked, they would have headed straight back.
Dean rolled his eyes. "Dude, you've barely been awake for the last few days. You're weak as a kitten and standing up makes you dizzy, so don't give me crap for wanting you to have a good place to heal up at. Dad contacted the school, and told them there has been a family emergency. They forwarded a month's worth of school work to Jim. It's taken care of Sam."
"So I don't even get a say so huh? Poor little Sammy, he's dizzy so he needs a month off! Damn it Dean, I've been hurt worse and so have you, what gives? Dad think I'm not good enough to be with him after failing him on this hunt?" Sam knew he needed to calm down, not take it out on Dean. It wasn't Dean that he was mad at, but the words just flowed out with the anger.
"Shit Sammy, calm down. There is more to this than you being physically hurt and you know it. Dad's worried about you and so am I. That bitch touched you Sammy, in an intimate way. She assaulted you Sam. Whether you want to talk about it or not, that's what happened. And Dad thinks that Jim might be the person that could help you with this." Dean's face held frustration and concern as he stared at Sam.
Sam felt deflated. The anger left him and he stared back at Dean, feeling just as drained as he had after the attack.
In a very quiet and shaky voice, Sam finally replied. "I haven't let myself think about it. I keep thinking that if I don't it will go away. It won't will it?"
It was hard to catch his breath, and Sam soon felt arms around him holding him tight as all the emotions he had been holding in, let loose. Sam's fingers moved of their own accord, tracing around the circle of the purple bruise on his neck. It was in the perfect shape of an open mouth, a slowly fading reminder of his encounter with Mrs. Robinson in the alley. It made Dean cringe to see it, a physical sign of the underlying damage which he couldn't see. Dean reached for Sam's hand and gently moved Sam's fingers away. "Let it go, kiddo." Dean whispered.
And where Sam would question an order which passed through John Winchester's lips, this was Dean speaking to him now and so, Sam's muscles went from tense to relaxed as he finally, begrugingly, obeyed.
Sam choked on the lump in his throat, making it hard to breathe. He soon felt arms around him holding him tight as all the emotions he had been holding in, let loose.
-0-
Dean had held his sobbing brother until the crying stopped, and his brother went limp from exhaustion.
It had been hard confronting Sam on the attack, but in the end it had been the right thing to do. Sam needed to let it go. The Winchester way of holding things close to the vest wasn't going to work this time. Keeping something as devastating as a sexual assault bottled up would definitely cause serious damage to the kid's mental health down the road.
In fact, Dean wasn't sure how the kid would get past this. Sam was already awkward around the opposite sex. The moving all the time hit Sam harder than Dean when it came to girls.
Sam didn't see the point in starting a relationship with a girl if they would be moving in a matter of weeks or months. His little brother was always the sensitive one afraid of hurting other people's feelings.
Dean on the other hand was happy to take female companionship where he could find it. In fact, he looked for the girl that was looking for fun and not commitment.
Now the youngest Winchester first major sexual experience has come from an older ghost. That just sucked.
Dean was pulled from his thoughts when the phone started ringing. He grabbed the phone quickly, thankful that it hadn't disturbed his sleeping brother.
"Mr. Winchester, this is Mr. Broadbent. I was calling to check on your brother. How is the lad?"
Dean sighed, he wished he had better news to report to the kind hotel manager. Since the attack, the man had gone out of his way to make sure Sam had everything he needed.
"Well, he's still suffering from the after affects of the attack. He is staying awake for longer periods of time. Oh and by-the-way, please call me Dean, Mr. Winchester is my dad."
"Sure thing Dean. The mister thing is just a hotel manager habit. I'm glad to hear there has been some improvement, but I wish he was feeling completely better." Dean could hear the concern in the older man's voice.
"Yeah me too. Look, we hope to be out of your hair real soon." Dean knew that the room they were in went for a mint, and for it to be occupied during peak season had to be costing the hotel a lot.
"Please don't worry about it Dean. We here at the hotel owe you boys so much. It's so scary to think that our groping ghost ended up being so dangerous. One of my staff or the hotel's guests could have been killed, we are eternally grateful. The owner concurs with me on this, and has left a sizable check at the desk for you."
"Thanks Mr. Broadbent. We will be leaving as soon as Sam feels up to it. Poor kid's getting a bit stir crazy and to be honest so am I."
"Of course. We'll if you need anything, just page me."
"Thanks." Dean hung up and noticed that his little brother was beginning to stir.
"D-Dean?" Sam slowly shifted in his bed until he was sitting up.
"Right here kiddo." Dean sat down on the edge of his brother's bed.
"I want to go to Jim's." Sam wiped the sleep from his eyes as he spoke quietly.
"Sure thing Sammy, why the change of heart?" Dean was afraid to push, but curiosity won out.
"I-I'm not feeling myself and Jim's place has always made me feel safe. You and Dad are right, I need to deal with the fallout from this hunt. If I don't it might cause me to freeze on the next hunt that involves a ghost." Sam's voice held a tremor.
"Wow man, that was a pretty mature thought for a dweeby teenager." Dean gave Sam a smirk.
"Bitch."
"Jerk."
-0-
They had spent a week at Pastor Jim's and Sam was feeling better physically. He still tired easily and found himself asleep on the couch in the middle of the day.
Dean was still hovering though not quite as intently as he had at the hotel, and that allowed Sam to relax a bit.
His dad had followed through, and school work was waiting on him when he arrived, which had been a relief.
Sitting down at Pastor Jim's desk, Sam was writing a paper when Jim entered the office. So far Sam had avoided having any heart-to-hearts with the man, using his fatigue to get him out of each and every opportunity that had come up.
"So Sam, catching up on school work? You must be feeling better." Jim smiled kindly as he sat down across from Sam.
"Yeah, I'm better, in fact I hope to convince Dean that we can leave soon." Sam stuttered the words out, hoping that Jim wouldn't try to talk him out of leaving.
"Well, I have some concerns Sam. Part of the reason you came here, was to seek counseling. That is something we haven't accomplished yet, and I don't think Dean will be up for leaving until we at least have one talk about what happened to you on the last hunt." Jim's eyes were full of compassion but Sam couldn't help but bristle at being cornered.
"I'm a Winchester, and Winchesters take a hit, get back up and move on. That's what I plan to do." Sam snapped back.
"Well, according to Dean, you're not snapping back. There have been nightmares." Jim tone was kind but firm.
"I always have nightmares, that's where I differ from my dad and Dean. They'll go away, they always do." Sam huffed back.
"But the damage they're doing to you won't." Jim countered.
"So, I got in over my head with a ghost. She felt me up. I responded. It felt good, even though I didn't want it to happen. I have feelings of guilt over it. The thought of being alone with a woman right now terrifies me, and by not thinking about what happened, by keeping my mind busy, that's the only way I'm dealing. So there, it's out in the open. Is that what you wanted to hear?" Sam was shocked how all his inner emotions came tumbling out in one long jumble. He wanted to take it back, but it was too late.
Jim cleared his throat. "I wanted you to admit you're hurting and you just did Sam. That took a lot of courage. That's all I want. I want you to talk about it. Get it out in the open, so that it doesn't eat you up inside. This was an excellent first step."
"You won't tell Dean or my dad?" Sam whispered out. He couldn't bear to have his family think of him as weak.
"Of course not. Everything you say is in confidence Sam. I promise." Jim replied with a comforting tone.
"So, we just talk? It's that easy?"
"Yes, it's that easy." Jim replied with a reassuring smile.
-0-
A day after Sam's talk with Father Jim, he was feeling better. It was easier to let the hurt and doubt out even if it went against everything John Winchester had taught him.
His dad was someone Sam was not looking forward to facing. He had screwed up on a hunt and now was an emotional liability in his father's eyes, otherwise he wouldn't have sent him away.
Sam was brought out of his musing by a knock at his bedroom door.
"Sam are you in there? Your father's on the phone for you?" Father's Jim's voice was soft and reassuring.
Sam quickly put down the book he was reading and went to the door, taking the phone from a smiling Jim.
"D-Dad?" Sam cursed at the timidness of his voice.
"Hey there Sammy, I hear your feeling better?" His father's voice was warm and kind, it took Sam by surprise.
"Yes sir. I'm stronger, and Father Jim thinks we can head your way soon." Sam held his breath waiting to see how his father would react to the idea of him heading back home and hunting.
"That's good son. I miss both of you. There was a pause as John cleared his throat. "Look Sam, I just wanted to say, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have sent you in without knowing the nature of the ghost. I never wanted you to experience anything like that."
Sam could hear the sadness in his dad's voice. "I'm old enough Dad, it's just I screwed up. I should have stayed with Dean until we were sure that the ghost was gone."
"Yeah well, why don't we just chalk this one up to a learning experience for all of us, okay? And, just know that I'm proud of how you handled yourself on this hunt, son."
Sam could hear his father swallow hard and he felt the emotion welling up in his throat. "Okay."
Sam knew his reply sounded lame but it was hard to get the words out. Conversations like this with his father were so rare, it took a lot to keep his emotions in line.
"So, Jim tells me that you are making head way with counseling and I'm happy to hear that Sammy. I just want you to be better and home son."
"Me too Dad."
"Tell Dean hello for me, and I'll talk to you boys soon."
"I will Dad, bye."
"Bye son.."
The phone clicked off and Sam found himself holding it dazed but happy. With things worked out with Dad, he found his thoughts turning to Dean.
-0-
Sam was better, and the nightmares were dying down. Dean felt better about the whole ordeal even though it was hard for him not to wallow in the guilt he felt.
He had let his little brother down, and the scars the kid would carry on the inside, were due to that failure.
The hard part of the last few weeks had been letting Pastor Jim take care of Sam. Dean had worked on fix-it projects around the rectory to give the two privacy.
It had worked well. Sam had told him that talking with Jim had helped. That should have made Dean feel better but it made him feel worse.
He wanted to be the one to fix things for Sam. To make up for his failure to save his little brother.
Dean had been pondering the last few weeks as he sat on top of the Impala in the sunlight of midday.
"Penny for your thoughts." Sam's voice pulled him from his thoughts.
"That's such a lame line." Dean replied with a smirk.
"Well I learned all I know from my big brother." Sam smirked back.
"You so didn't learn lame lines like that from me!"
Sam huffed and rolled his eyes. The younger brother joined his brother on the hood of the car. Dean felt Sam's shoulder lean into his.
"Dean, we need to talk." Sam's voice was full of concern.
Dean perked up at the statement. Sam had refused to talk to him about the assault and Dean hoped that his brother was now up for that talk.
"Sure what's up?" Dean tried to keep the eagerness from his voice.
"I made Pastor Jim a promise. In order for him to tell Dad that I was ready to leave, I had to promise that I would continue to talk about what happened with the ghost. That I would continue to share the details of my nightmares with him, by phone and that I would open up to you."
"Pastor Jim is a smart man." Dean replied with relief in his voice. He needed to be there for Sam.
"I'm willing to do that Dean. Share with you in full detail all the demons plaguing my mind, but I want something in return."
Dean was curious. "What do you need Sam?"
"You to be more open with me. One thing that Jim has taught me is that, keeping everything bottled up is not the way to go. The Winchester way of burying feelings and moving on is killing us. I won't do that anymore."
"Okay, whatever you need Sam."
"Yeah, that came out of you easy, but do you mean it? Why don't we start here and now? Tell me, how this hunt has affected you?" Sam's tone was hard and his eyes bore into Dean's.
"Whoa, this isn't about me, Sammy, this is about you and how you're coping." Dean didn't want to go there. He had all these nasty feelings bottled up in him and he was afraid if he let them slip, even just a little, they'd come exploding out like a can of beer that's been shook up and opened.
"You said whatever I need Dean. I need to be able to talk to you and for you to try and talk to me. But if that's too much to ask, then forget it. I can just try and handle this on my own." Dean watched as Sam sunk into himself and that sight was enough to break all the defenses Dean had built up.
Dean sighed. "I hate that I wasn't able to save you Sam, from that bitch."
Sam's looked up and Dean could see that his brother had been fighting tears, but now his face was knitted up in concern. "Not your fault Dean."
"How can you say that? I was supposed to keep you safe." Dean shook his head and turned away.
"Okay, I get that but it's an unrealistic goal Dean. You can't always be there to protect me every moment of the day, especially on hunts." Sam nudged Dean with his elbow.
"Sammy, I can't help the guilt." Dean replied softly.
"Yeah, but you need to find a way to let it go, or it will eat you up inside. I'm speaking from experience Dean. I have been carrying my own guilt around over the hunt." Sam's voice was shaky and it caused Dean to turn and face his little brother.
"Sammy, what guilt? You did everything right on this hunt. In fact it was you that thought about something actually trapping the spirit to the room." Dean laid his hand on Sam's shoulder and squeezed.
Sam gave him a watery smile. "Yeah, well my guilt doesn't come from the hunt, it comes from the assault. My body... God this is hard... I took pleasure in the assault. Some of my nightmares have left me aroused. She attacked me against my will...she was a damn ghost...but I still felt pleasure." The last part came out as a sob.
Dean pulled his little brother to him. "Sammy, that's normal. Our bodies have minds of their own, and it reacted to the physical pleasure of the experience. It's not unusual. I've had that happen before. That witch in New York that got the jump on me, she groped me and I responded. It's normal."
"It still feels wrong, and I still feel guilt, but I'm trying to get past it." Sam slowly pulled away, wiping away the stray tears. Sam took a deep breath and continued. "Just like you need to work on getting past your guilt. We need to be open with each other and to help each other work past this stupid hunt."
Dean sighed. How did his little brother get so wise and sneaky? Sam pulled him in hook line and sinker and now he was at the mercy of his little brother's pleading puppy dog look.
"Okay, I promise to try, and I'm using the word try, to be more open and to work past the guilt." Dean gave Sam a reassuring smile.
"That's all I'm asking. I promise to be more open too."
"Sounds good to me Samantha, but can we end this little hug-in session and work on telling Jim we're leaving?"
Sam huffed. "Dean, only you can turn a brotherly moment into an insult fest in a matter of seconds!"
"Yep, it's how I roll Sammy, you know that." Dean nudged Sam as he jumped off the car.
Sam pushed back as they headed for the house. "You're a jerk."
Dean winked. "Yeah, but you love every minute of it, bitch!"
Sam gave Dean a frustrated smile, and for the first time in weeks Dean felt like things were heading back to normal. Well, as normal as their lives got, and he couldn't ask for anything more.
End
Thanks for reading and for all the wonderful reviews! I hope to have a new story up in a few weeks! I want thank Liz again for writing with me and to thank Sendintheclowns for being such a wonderful friend!
