A/N I've had 3 cokes, so I'm a little hyper. Also, I'm listening to Fergalicious, so, yeah, anyway, BONUS CHAPER! Sorry if I put some random things in. Oh, and the reason I decided they didn't hook up in the summer, is so you wouldn't think she was two timing Harry at any point. And the reason she said she was taken by Harry was because she obviously couldn't tell him that she was secretly seeing Draco Malfoy. ONTO THE CHAPTER! T-A-S-T-E-Y!
Hope
Chapter 6
Crying
"HOW COULD YOU SECRETLY DATE MALFOY??" Ron yelled. I couldn't reply. I was crying. You would be too, if you spent the last err 4 hours being yelled at your friends. So, I left, and went into the empty classroom that I am supposed to meet Draco in, after lunch. And do you think I would go to lunch? No. At about 1 ish, he came. I had been crying for 6 hours straight. My face was all red and puffy. He went to comfort me, for about 4 more hours. I was crying the whole time. Then my EX-friends and EX brother came back in and started screaming at me again. And I was starting to calm down. Then I broke into tears again. Draco stood up, and started yelling back.
"LOOK WHAT YOU DID! SHE'S BEEN CRYING FOR errrr how long, OH 10 HOURS STRAIGHT! IF YOU HAD ANY SENSE, YOU WOULD JUST ACCEPT THE FACT! MAYBE SHES BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU! LETS GO!" He took me by the hand, and we went to dinner. We went at sat at the Slytherin table, no matter what, even if they ignored my sobbing. Of course that set everyone off. A Malfoy and a Weasley? A pureblood and a blood traitor. After dinner, I decided to send an owl to mum and dad.
Dear Mum and Dad,
Ron has been nonstop yelling at me. So much that I have to sit with my boyfriend at the Slytherin table. I hope you got my other letter, and took the book to Gringotts.
Love,
Victoria
It was barely readable. My tears were falling onto it. But I didn't care. Nothing mattered. At night, I kept everyone in my dorm awake. Sarah just kept yelling at me to shut up. Lavender was sitting on my bed with me, our backs against the wall, calming me down. She didn't care if I was dating a Malfoy. No one else cared. Although I still cried nonstop until Christmas. None of the teachers minded a lot. Snape was nice, too. I have a clue why. At Christmas, I was able to be quiet for like, 2 hours at a time. My room was perfect! It was dark purplish, and AWESOMETISTIC! When I woke up on Christmas, I almost fainted. The piles of presents! I got 24 presents from everyone in my family, one for every missed birthday and Christmas. Only Ron and Ginny got me one thing. I really could care less. From mum, I got various things, the twins, lots of joke products, Percy gave me tons of books, Charlie gave me this mini dragon model, and some books on dragons, Bill gave me these books on curse breaking, and dad got me, A MUGGLE STERIO AND A BUNCH OF CD'S! Ginny and Ron gave me candy. From Draco, I got a DIAMOND NECKLACE! I hugged all of them in turn, and actually didn't cry much. Never mind how much I cried. Once we went back to school, though, that's a different story. And this is how it starts. On the train, Draco and I sat in a compartment. We were both outcasts mostly. My EX friends and EX brother came in. They all apologized. We talked and laughed, and such. On that train ride, they learned to accept the company of Draco, and everything was pleasant. Until we got back to school. On our first day back, we had potions first thing. But it was double potions, with Slytherins. This was a good thing, sorta. But we got a three foot essay on the uses of moonstone. Me and Draco have to do 5 feet. Can you belive it? Well, I guess I can't blame him. I would give people who made out instead of brewing their potion extra work, but still. McGonagall wasn't easy on us either. We were supposed to be turning turtles into teacups. Sarah managed, none of the rest of us did. Mine still had a head, Ron had a turtle with a handle. She made us practice and all of us except Sarah had to write a foot long essay on the proper wand movement. Grrr! School is sucking. Although at lunch, I had like 4 hoho's! After lunch we had a free period. I spent History of Magic doodling a pyramid of peace signs on my hand in green Sharpie (A/N I did that earlier, peace pyramid in green Sharpie ™ ) And in DADA, Lockhart let pixies loose, and, well, I just sat there, examining my black nails. I was able to escape the wrath of having to 'nip them up' as he asked my friends and Ron. MUAHAHAHAAAA! Anyway, I basically just copied the chapter on moonstones for the essay, and wrote REALLY BIG! Then for McGonagall, I just simply wrote 'TWIST AND SPIN' across a foot long parchment, sideways. For HOM we had an essay on 'The History Of Goblin Rebellion' so I basically just blabbed on and on, on how Goblins rebelled. Then they came into the common room, and I was just sitting on a chair, listening to my ipod.
"You should really consider doing your homework" Sarah nagged.
"ALREADY DONE!" I had to shout, Green Day's Boulevard Of Broken Dreams was playing loudly directly into my ears. I guess they heard, for they were all acting like they couldn't hear anymore. Gits! I thought to myself. Then the weirdest thing happened! A naked hobo ran across the common room screaming 'THE BRITISH ARE COMING!' and of course, cause most of us were Brits'. Anyway, that was really weird. Creepy, and a little disgusting! He introduced himself as bob the hobo. Hey, Bob's were said from all angles. Anyway, that was extremely weird. So yeah. I went to the Slytherin common room, and muttered the password, 'pureblood'. Draco gave it to me. Everyone ignored me when I walked over to him.
"Ok, so the weirdest thing just happened, I was listening to my ipod…" I began.
"What's an ipod?" He asked.
"Tell you later, anyway, as I was saying, a naked hobo just ran across Gryffindor common room shouting 'THE BRITISH ARE COMING!' and then he said he was 'bob the hobo' oh, and this is an ipod" I said and I thrust my ipod into his hand.
"What does it do?"
"It plays music, listen!" I put one earphone in his ear, the other in mine. We sat like that, me on his lap, for a while listening to music. I introduced him to Fergie, Rihanna, Green Day, The Beatles, Muse, and Fall Out Boy. But then I had to leave, because it was almost curfew.
"Where were you" Sarah demanded.
"With the Slytherins." I answered.
"What did you do?"
"I told Draco about Bob, and we listened to music from my ipod."
"What position?"
"Don't worry, I was just on his lap!"
"Fine. Hmmph."
"What, jealous?"
"Maybe!"
"Come on!"
"Alright, yes!"
"Spit it out girl!"
"Not here!"
"Fine, in the dorm!"
"Fine." We went into our dorm.
"Now, who is it?"
"Deannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
"WHAT?!?!?!?!?!"
"Dean."
"THOMAS?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!"
"Yeah."
"Gross!"
"Well, at least I'm not dating a Slytherin'
"Grrrr! Glaciers melting in the dead of night and the superstars sucked into the supermassive!"
"Holy frick! What was that!"
"Supermassive black hole, by Muse. Draco and I listened to it about 17 times."
"Oh, God!" After this, I smirked, and then annoyed her by singing 'Canadian Idiot!'
"Don't
wanna be a Canadian idiot
Don't wanna be some beer swillin'
hockey nut
And do I look like some frostbitten hose-head?
I
never learned my alphabet from A to Zed
They all live on
donuts and moose meat
And they leave the house without packin'
heat
Never even bring their guns to the mall
And you know
what else is too funny?
Their stupid Monopoly money
Can't
take 'em seriously at all
Well maple syrup and snow's what
they export
They treat curling just like it's a real sport
They
think their silly accent is so cute
Can't understand a thing
they're talkin' aboot
Sure they got their national health
care
Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air
Then again
well they got Celine Dion
Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni
And
dream of drivin' a Zamboni
All over Saskatchewan
Don't
wanna be a Canadian idiot
Won't figure out their temperature in
Celsius
See the map, they're hoverin' right over us
Tell you
the truth, it makes me kinda nervous
Always hear the same
kind of story
Break their nose and they'll just say "sorry"
Tell me what kind of freaks are that polite?
It's gotta mean
they're all up to somethin'
So quick, before they see it comin'
Time for a pre-emptive strike!"(A/N I
listen to annoying songs, and I memorized this one!) Anyway, back to
the story, people!
"What the heck!"
"I have other weird songs! Like… Pulling Mussels (from the shell)"
"What the crap?"
"They
do it down on camber sands
They do it at Waikiki
Lazing about
the beach all day,
At night the crickets creepy
Squinting
faces at the sky
A Harold Robbins paperback
Surfers drop
their boards and dry
And everybody wants a hat
Look behind
the Chalet
My holiday's complete
And I feel like William Tell
Maid Marian on her, tiptoed feet
Pulling mussels from a shell
Pulling mussels from a shell
Shrinking in the sea so cold
Topless ladies look away…"
"OK! That's enough! Anyway, goodnight!"
"'Night!" When we woke the next morning, I suddenly realized it was Tuesday. Why you ask? Well, today is Tuesday. So what? Why did you have to ask? Anyway, to wake everyone up, I started to sing on the top of my lungs.
"Qué
onda guero?
Qué onda Jose?
See the vegetable man
In the
vegetable van
With a horn that's honking
Like a mariachi
band
In the middle of the street
People gather around
Put
the dollar-dollar-dollar in the can
Ay wey!, que onda?
TJ
cowboys hang around
Sleeping in the sidewalk
With a Burger King
crown
Never wake 'em up
Mas cerveza
Til the rooster
crows
Vatos de gallos
Qué onda guero?
Qué onda guero?
Qué
onda guero?
Qué onda guero?
Mano Blancos roll with
crowbars
singing rancheras on cheap guitars
Abuelitas with
plastic bags
Walking to the church with the Spanish candles
Dirty
borracho says 'que putas!'
Andale, Joto, your popsicle's
melting
Run better run, da doo run run
Mara Salvatrucha in the
midnight sun
Guero, where are you going?
Qué onda
guero?
Guero, where are you going?
Qué onda güero?
Rampart
boys with loaded rifles
Guatemalan soccer ball instant
replays
Mango ladies, vendedoras
And a busstop singing
Banda
macho chorus
Qué onda guero?
A donde vayas
Qué onda
guero?
A donde vayas
¿Y donde encontrastes ese? en un
hoyo
Alla en la Pico
Hey vamos a jugar futbol ahí en el
Griffith park
La Pico and Vermont
La locura
Yeah now I'm
going to LACC
I'm taking a ceramics class
See the vegetable
man
James Joyce
Michael Bolton
Qué onda guero,
where are you going?
Qué onda guero, where are you going?
Hey
what's up guero?
"You doing pushups?"
No te veo
guero!
El guero!
Que Pasa
Otra vero guero
I dunno I saw a
puppet at Tang's
with a mullet and a popsicle.
Hey
Guero
Que locura!
Chico
Hey Guero
Yeah Bro?
Hehehe,
footlong?" Everyone
in the dorm started saying things like What the crap? Or, Holy frick!
I watched them, smirking. And started singing another weird song.
"He
was killed by a cellular phone explosion
They scattered his ashes
across the ocean
The water was used to make baby lotion
The
wheels of promotion were set into motion
But the sun still
shines in the summer time
I'll be yours if you'll be mine
I
tried to change, but I changed my mind
Think I'll have another
glass of Mexican wine
She lived alone in a small
apartment
Across the street from the health department
She left
her pills in the glove compartment
That was the afternoon her
heart went
And the sun still shines in the summer time
I'll
be yours if you'll be mine
I tried to change, but I changed my
mind
Think I'll have another glass of Mexican wine
Think I'll
have another glass of Mexican wine
I used to fly for United
Airlines
Then I got fired for reading High Times
My license
expired in alomst no time
Now I'm retired and I think that's
fine
Because the sun still shines in the summer time
I'll
be yours if you'll be mine
I tried to change, but I changed my
mind
Think I'll have another glass of Mexican wine
Think I'll
have another glass of Mexican wine
Won't you have another glass of
Mexican wine?" Now they were really annoyed. Anyway, I skipped off,
smirking. Another plan forming in my head. Draco was walking down the
corridor, and I pulled him in the common room. We started snogging
furiously a chair, facing the girls staircase. When the other girls
came down, they started screaming.
"DO
YOU MIND?" I screamed. Oh well! Payback time! "Monday
gonna take a ride on
The n train down to coney island
With the
money I saved
Gonna get me engraved
Drink down a lot of basil
hayden
Get kicked out when I cant see straight and
What an
island can be on
Under the neon
Red dragon tattoo
Is
just about on me
I got it for you
So now do you want me
With
nothing to prove
Will you be my honey, oh yeah
In you I
confide
Red dragon tattoo
Im fit to be dyed
Am I fit to have
you
I hear the man say you want to see the others
A mermaid
and a heart that says mother
But I dont know from maritime
And
I never did hard time
I brought a .38 special cd collection
Some
bactine to prevent infection
And in case I get queasy
A photo
of easy rider
Red dragon tattoo
Is just about on me
I
got it for you
So now do you want me
With nothing to prove
Will
you be my honey, oh yeah
In you I confide
Red dragon tattoo
Im
fit to be dyed
Am I fit to have you
Will you stop
pretending Ive never been born
Now I look a little more like that
guy from korn
If you came a little bit closer
Youd see it isnt
painted on
Oh no no no
Red dragon tattoo
Is just about
on me
I got it for you
So now do you want me
With nothing to
prove
Will you be my honey, oh yeah
In you I confide
Red
dragon tattoo
Im fit to be dyed
Am I fit to have you
In
you I confide
Red dragon tattoo
Im fit to be dyed
Am I fit
to have you"
Now
they got really annoyed. Of course I have tons more stupid songs.
Draco carried me bridal style to breakfast. Everyone gave me evil
looks, mostly because none of them have boyfriends, so I just
smirked. So, I started singing again. Another stupid song. "
I'm
fixing a hole where the rain gets in
and stops my mind from
wandering
where it will go
I'm filling the cracks that ran
though the door
and kept my mind from wandering
where it will
go
And it really doesn't matter if I'm wrong
I'm right
where I belong
I'm right where I belong
See the people
standing there
who disagree and never win
and wonder why they
don't get in my door
I'm painting my room in a colorful way,
and when my mind is wandering
there I will go
And it
really doesn't matter if I'm wrong
I'm right where I belong
I'm
right where I belong
Silly people run around
they worry me
and never ask me
why they don't get past my door
I'm
taking my time for a number of things
that weren't important
yesterday
and I still go
I'm fixing a hole where the rain
gets in
and stops my mind from wandering
where it will go
where it will go
I'm fixing a hole where the rain gets in
and stops my mind from wandering
where it will go" They
hurried ahead of us, practically running. I just laughed. And
laughed. And laughed some more. We went to the Gryffindor table, on
my request, so I could annoy them some more. We sat in the midst of
the other 2nd
year girls.
"For
the benefit of Mr. Kite
There will be a show tonight on
trampoline
The Hendersons will all be there
Late of
Pablo-Fanques Fair, what a scene (Have you seen it? It's great, they
got stuff.)
Over men and horses hoops and garters
Lastly
through a hogshead of real fire!
In this way Mr. K. will challenge
the world!
The celebrated Mr. K.
Performs his feat on Saturday
at Bishopsgate
The Hendersons will dance and sing
As Mr. Kite
flies through the ring don't be late
Messrs. K and H. assure the
public
Their production will be second to none
And of course
Henry The Horse dances the waltz!
The band begins at ten to
six
When Mr. K. performs his tricks without a sound
And Mr. H.
will demonstrate
Ten somersets he'll undertake on solid
ground
'ving been some days in preparation
A splendid time is
guaranteed for all
And tonight Mr. Kite is topping the bill.
(It's
me. In the thing.)"
To annoy them more, I sang a song, just about random breakfast foods.
"Oh, that pancake! Look how fat! And that bacon, what do you say? Waffle, waffle, waffle. Corn flakes, corn flakes, how I love my corn flakes. Blueberryyyyyyyyyyyyyy muffinnnnnn! BANANA!" That got them extremely annoyed. Draco was laughing so hard now, that I thought he would die! Anyway, another song about a breakfast food, not one that I made up, though!
"Have
you seen the little piggies
Crawling in the dirt
And for all
the little piggies
Life is getting worse
Always having dirt to
play around in.
Have you seen the bigger piggies
In their
starched white shirts
You will find the bigger piggies
Stirring
up the dirt
Always have clean shirts to play around in.
In
their sties with all their backing
They don't care what goes on
around
In their eyes there's something lacking
What they need's
a damn good whacking.
Everywhere there's lots of
piggies
Living piggy lives
You can see them out for dinner
With their piggy wives
Clutching forks and knives to eat their
bacon." Draco fell
to the floor in a fit of laughter. I decided one more song was in
order. Another Beatles selection.
"(Lennon:
We'll listen to that now. He he he. Oh, look out!)
(Possibly
McCartney: Linda Eastman)
She came in through the bathroom
window
Protected by a silver spoon
But now she sucks her thumb
and wanders
By the banks of her own lagoon
Didn't anybody
tell her?
Didn't anybody see?
Sunday's on the phone to
Monday,
Tuesday's on the phone to me
She said she'd always
been a dancer
She worked at 15 clubs a day
And though she
thought I knew the answer
Well I knew but I could not say.
And
so I quit the police department
And got myself a steady job
And
though she tried her best to help me
She could steal but she could
not rob.
Didn't anybody tell her?
Didn't anybody
see?
Sunday's on the phone to Monday,
Tuesday's on the phone to
me
Oh yeah." Now
I was on the floor laughing. Not for long. I started singing again.
"Mean
Mister Mustard sleeps in the park
Shaves in the dark trying to
save paper
Sleeps in a hole in the road
Saving up to buy some
clothes
Keeps a ten-bob note up his nose
Such a mean old
man
Such a mean old man
His sister Pam works in a shop
She
never stops, she's a go-getter
Takes him out to look at the
queen
Only place that he's ever been
Always shouts out
something obscene
Such a dirty old man
Such a dirty old
man
Mean Mister Mustard
Such a dirty dirty
Mean Mister
Mustard
Such a dirty dirty
Mean Mister Mustard
Mean
Mister Mustard sleeps in the park
Shaves in the dark trying to
save paper
Sleeps in a hole in the road
Saving up to buy some
clothes
Keeps a ten-bob note up his nose
Such a mean old
man
Such a mean old man"
Draco and I left the hall, laughing. We got lots of glares, and
stares. Soon, the whole hall was laughing, exept for the other 2nd
year girls. They were fuming. I just laughed harder. I'll bet that
they don't catch on for a week that that's what I want. Oh, well!
More fun for little me! In Charms, we did nothing but read our
textbooks. Care of Magical Creatures, we learned about Blast Ended
Skrewts. Lunch, I annoyed my friends with 'Son of a Preacher Man,
Good Morning, Good Morning, Devil's Haircut, and I Want You (She's
So Heavy) After lunch, we had Herbology, and Divination. At dinner, I
sang, 'Buffalo Soldier, Scenes From An Italian Dinner, and Sgt.
Peppers Lonely Hearts Club band. After doing my homework, I went to
visit Draco again, and we listened to my ipod some more. And made
some progress. The Slytherins talked to me because I kept annoying
people, and that's why. That's nice, sorta. The only way to get
them to go away was, we started kissing. I just wanted them to
evacuate. Which they did. After they all left, we started listening
to more music. We fell asleep like that. All of my dorm was furious.
We walked down to breakfast and they started screaming at me, asking
me where I was.
"I fell asleep." I stated simply.
"Yeah, right."
"In the Slytherin common room…"
"Spit it out"
"On a chair"
"Yes,"
"With Draco."
"HAH!" I climbed onto the table.
"I KISSED A PANCAKE AND I LIKED IT! THE TASTE OF IT'S SYRUP CHAPSTICK! I KISSED A PANCAKE JUST TO TRY IT, I HOPE MY BOYFRIEND DOESN'T MIND IT! IT FELT SO WRONG, IT FELT SO RIGHT, DOESN'T MEAN I'M IN LOVE TONIGHT! I KISSED A PANCAKE AND I LIKED IT! I LIKED IT!" The hall couldn't stop laughing. Even my dormmates were laughing at my sudden outburst. The teachers were, too! Hey, what's the harm a little comedy can do? And plus, I didn't get detention. Everyone missed their first, and second lessons, because they were laughing! They missed lunch, and 3 lesson before anyone could stop. Then we went to 4th lesson was spent laughing. It was a productive day. No homework! Of course, that's good. Of course, I got yelled at again at breakfast, for not being in the dorm at night. After a 3 more days of falling asleep like that, it was a regular thing that happened a lot. It was also normal for someone to start singing 'I Kissed a Pancake' at random times, or start muttering it under their breath under pressure or in times of great sorrow. Everyone was used to it, and I was idolized by various people for my little song at breakfast. On Saturday, I sat by the lake with Draco for the entire day. I thought my friends would start hating me for spending almost all myfree time with him, but they didn't. Thank God. I didn't want a repeat of before. I devoted Sunday day to them. We just hung out. It went like this.
"So-o-o." I said. Just then I realized that when you neglect your friends, it feels uncomfortable.
"So-o-o" Everyone repeated. We sat in silence for a while. Then I started laughing, and they followed.
"I
can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No
handlebars
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No
handlebars
No handlebars
Look at me, look at me
hands in
the air like it's good to be
ALIVE
and I'm a famous rapper
even
when the paths're all crookedy
I can show you how to do-si-do
I
can show you how to scratch a record
I can take apart the remote
control
And I can almost put it back together
I can tie a knot
in a cherry stem
I can tell you about Leif Ericson
I know all
the words to "De Colores"
And "I'm Proud to be an
American"
Me and my friend saw a platypus
Me and my friend
made a comic book
And guess how long it took
I can do anything
that I want cuz, look:
I can keep rhythm with no metronome
No
metronome
No metronome
I can see your face on the
telephone
On the telephone
On the telephone
Look at
me
Look at me
Just called to say that it's good to be
ALIVE
In
such a small world
All curled up with a book to read
I can make
money open up a thrift store
I can make a living off a magazine
I
can design an engine sixty four
Miles to a gallon of gasoline
I
can make new antibiotics
I can make computers survive aquatic
conditions
I know how to run a business
And I can make you
wanna buy a product
Movers shakers and producers
Me and my
friends understand the future
I see the strings that control the
systems
I can do anything with no assistance
I can lead a
nation with a microphone
With a microphone
With a microphone
I
can split the atoms of a molecule
Of a molecule
Of a
molecule
Look at me
Look at me
Driving and I won't
stop
And it feels so good to be
Alive and on top
My reach is
global
My tower secure
My cause is noble
My power is pure
I
can hand out a million vaccinations
Or let'em all die in
exasperation
Have'em all healed of their lacerations
Have'em
all killed by assassination
I can make anybody go to prison
Just
because I don't like'em and
I can do anything with no permission
I
have it all under my command
I can guide a missile by satellite
By
satellite
By satellite
and I can hit a target through a
telescope
Through a telescope
Through a telescope
and I can
end the planet in a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In
a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
I can ride my
bike with no handlebars
No handle bars
No handlebars
I
can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No
handlebars" Of course, Sarah got annoyed. Until Hermes flew in, and
came towards me. He dropped a letter in my hand. It said,
Dear Victoria,
We finally brought the book to Gringotts! Now we are approximately 1,894,482,345,385,284,375,347,475,137,486 Galleons richer! Also, and tell your brothers and sister to go to Dumbledore to get their powers. Love you!
Mum and Dad
"RON! Look at this!" I thrust the letter into his hand. He read it over, and over. When I last checked, he was just staring at it. "We have to go, sorry!" I said, as I pulled Ron to go get everyone else into Dumbledore's office.
"Ahhh, yes, I've been expecting you." He said creepily.
"Ottenga i vostri poteri, voi piccoli perdenti ungrateful!" Dumbledore chanted. "You will be able to channel your powers using the mind. Go." We left, me and Ron went back to the courtyard. Then we attempted our powers. I thought hard of lightning, then fell over, screaming, because of the loud bang that filled the air. With an hour of practice, we both were able to channel it easily, by pointing. We practiced the others, due in course of the day. By dinner, we had gained great control over all. After dinner, me and Draco had our usual nighttime affair.(A/N the one with the ipod and such, not IT! ) At breakfast, I had another annoying song breakdown.
"While
I was shoppin' for a new car, which one's me?
A cool Convertible
or an SUV?
Too bad I didn't know my credit was whack,
Cuz'
now I'm drivin' off a lot in a used Subcompact.
F-R-E-E that
spells free,
Credit report dot com baby.
Saw their ads on my
T.V.
Thought about going, but was too lazy.
Now instead of
lookin' fly & rollin' phat,
My legs are sticking to the vinyl
and my posse's gettin' laughed at.
F-R-E-E that spells free,
Credit report dot com baby." I sang.
"What was that?" Draco laughed.
"I
got more, listen! They say a man should always dress for the job he
wants
So why am I dressed up like a pirate in this restaurant
It's all because some hacker stole my identity
Now I'm in
here every evening serving chowder and ice tea
Should'a gone to
free credit report dot com [hee haw]
I could'a seen this comin'
at me like an atom bomb
They monitor your credit and send you
e-mail alerts
So you don't end up selling fish to tourists in
t-shirts! Well, I married my dream girl
I married my dream girl
But she didn't tell me her credit was bad
So now instead of
living in a pleasant suburb
We're living in the basement at her
mom and dad's
No we can't get a loan
For a respectable home
Just because my girl defaulted on some old credit card
If
we'd gone to free credit report dot com
I'd be a happy bachelor
with a dog and a yard! Check it out gas prices blowin' up sky high
Ditched my used sub-compact for a 2 wheel ride
Now I'm
rolling eco-friendly, but I still look bad
When the bike store
saw my credit
They said this is all they had
I'm singin'
F
to the R to the E to the E to the C to the R to the E D I T
RE to
the PORT to the dot to the com
Come on everybody grab your bikes
and sing along
[Its easy]
F to the R to the E to the E to the
C to the R to the E D I T
RE to the PORT to the dot to the com!
When
you're a rock star,
You get to party hard.
Champagne and
caviar,
Tricked out exotic cars.
That's how I'd thought it'd
be,
But the party's not for me,
Cause some punk opened a
credit card with my ID.
Free what,
Free credit report dot
com.
That's the site I'm gonna hit when I go home.
They know
how credit works.
They send email alerts.
Now I'm findin' out
how bad reality hurts! was getting depressed 'cause of all the stress
I was feeling at home
Had a poor credit score and the number
would haunt me wherever I'd go
Thought I'd move to a place where
my credit could stink and nobody would care
I just wish that
somebody had told me that place was a Renaissance Fair!
Free
Credit Report dot com!
Tell your friends, tell your dad, tell you
mom!
Never mind, they've been singing our songs
Since we
first showed up with our pirate hats on!
If you're not into fake
sword fights
Pointy slippers and green wool tights
Take a
trip from a knight who knows
Free Credit Report dot com, let's
go!"
"What?"
"Free credit report dot com commercials!"
"What's a commercial?"
I gasp and mimick fainting "The thing between TV shows?"
"What's a TV show?"
"GRRR!"
"What is it?"
"I'll show you sometime!"
"OK!" I sighed. He is sooo weird sometimes!
A/N I hope you like the bonus! I'VE DECIDED TO BE NICE AND POST IT WITHOUT THE TEN REVIEWS! SO I EXPECT THANKS!
~Sarah
