A/N:I am sorry for the giant hiatus... I'm on hiatus in a lot of things cuz... let's just say I encountered some complications. xD
Disclaimer:I don't own Batman or any of it's characters.
-- -- --
"Are you kidding me?" Gordon shouted as he quickly paced down the narrow hallways of Arkham. These hallways were not for the normal prisoners. No, these were the hallways that allowed no sunshine to ever be seen. A place that was so dark and cold, it reminded Bruce of something that one would see in a castle dungeon. There were dim lights that lit up the hallways that showed Gordon, Batman and the three Arkham guards that were guiding them towards the cell that was their destination.
"I'm sorry, Sir, but he appears to have escaped." One guard said.
"You could not even contain him for a week?" Gordon clenched his fists tightly. The Joker had returned to Arkham Asylum six days ago and had just escaped this morning. The three guards were speechless.
"What about the video cameras?" Bruce asked in his deep voice.
The shortest guard coughed softly, then said, "He was in his room one moment, and then he looked up at the camera, smiled and suddenly, all of the cameras on this level went out. We had them back up within ten seconds but he still managed to get away." Bruce nodded. "But he left something for you."
"Me?" Bruce questioned.
The tallest guard unlocked the door and opened it for them. Batman entered first, followed by Gordon and the guards. There, left wall when one entered from the door, were two straight jackets. He would not have noticed them if he was not looking for something odd in the room and sure enough, it was quite odd for two straight jackets to be hanging on a wall.
He stepped closer to the two white jackets and noticed that one was the one that he was forced to wear while in Arkham. Finely stitched into a patch by the right breast area was "The Joker". This immediately made Bruce look over at the other one. In the same area, written in blood, was "Batsy". Bruce felt his heart skip a beat.
Why would the Joker put something like this out in the open?
"I've heard a fair share of crazies say how they long to put you in here with them." The other guard, who was a bit fatter than the other two, told Batman. "I can't say I'm surprised he left something like this- OW!" The taller guard elbowed him.
Gordon stared at them with an annoyed expression for a few seconds, then turned to Batman. "Do you think that this means that he's going to come after you?"
"It's only right to assume so, I guess." Bruce growled. The Joker went after him often, but now that he knew his identity, the Joker could go after him any time of the day.
As Bruce headed back to the hideout, he wondered how he was supposed to avoid the criminal. Of course, he would go after the Joker but he first needed a plan, something that would no doubt keep the Joker in Arkham. Bruce removed his costume and went over to his computers to begin looking up things. The Joker knew where his house was but not where his batcave was. At least he had one area of secrecy...
He was so lost in his thoughts that he almost did not notice Alfred enter. The older man came up and placed a newspaper on the desk. "I requested that they stopped publishing the story and replace it with something else but the head director said that he saw no reason to remove it, even if you did request it's removal." The butler told him softly. Bruce reached over and glanced at the paper. He opened it and began searching through articles. "It's on the third page but it's still noticeable."
Just as Alfred said, on the third page was an article that read: "Wayne Gives to Gotham's Youth." Bruce quickly scowled at the paper and threw it to the side. "I forgot about that..." He said lowly.
"Yes, but forgetting does not mean that you do not have to do it."
"Can't we reschedule it?" Bruce turned to Alfred. "Or maybe you could do it." He said hopefully.
"Master Bruce, as much as I would love to read to elementary students and talk to them about what we are doing to help their mommies and daddies, I think I will have to pass the offer."
Bruce could not hide his smile. Alfred's sarcasm did not help the situation but it lightened the mood. "There's no doubt that he'd attack during the day."
"No doubt." Alfred repeated.
"And no doubt he would not regret holding an elementary school hostage." Bruce began speaking to himself aloud. "Sure, they are going to make lousy bodyguards follow me but they won't be any help." He looked up at Alfred and sighed. "I guess there is nothing I can do but prepare for the worst, right?"
"That's quite optimistic for you, Master Bruce."
"Well, I cannot let him harm innocent children." He leaned back in his chair, sighing as he stared at the concrete ceiling. "Why do I keep being put in terrible situations? It's almost as if he's planning these things out." Bruce ignored the small chuckle Alfred made after a few seconds.
-- -- --
"Everyone, I would like you all to give a warm welcome to Mr. Bruce Wayne." The teacher motioned towards Bruce, who just smiled kindly. In unison, the children all said, "Hello, Mr. Wayne." The teacher took a seat in her chair and nodded towards the chair next to her, telling Bruce to sit down. Bruce grimaced at the tiny elementary school chair and sat down. "Now, before he begins, does anyone have any questions for Mr. Wayne?"
At once, many of the kids hands went up. Bruce's eyes scanned the room as he looked for a child to choose. "How about you?"
It was a small girl in a pink dress. She asked him, "Why do you have two first names?"
Bruce heard Alfred, who was standing behind him with two big bodyguards, start chuckling and growled to himself. "Many people have a last name that can also be a first name." Bruce quickly moved onto another child. "Yes?"
"What's it like to be rich?" A boy questioned eagerly. "Do you get to have fancy stuff, and have butlers and maids do all your chores for you and play with toys that only you can play with?"
"I guess you could say that." Bruce laughed. "But I prefer to contribute my profits to organizations and charities that are in need for the benefits." He looked up and noticed all the children's confused expression. "I like to give my money to places that need it." The kids all nodded, understanding him.
"Like, do you use your money to get rid of all the bad men?" A girl with short blonde hair asked.
He chuckled and shook his head. "I can only wish that it would be that easy." Bruce told the kids. "But I give money to people like the policemen so that they can keep their men safe and so they can have better weapons to go against the bad men. I care about the people of Gotham and I will do anything within my power to help them." As Bruce stopped, he kept his look on the children, completely leaving the teacher's blushing face ignored.
"Well then, let's begin." Bruce reached under his chair where a few book lay. He picked up one and started reading to the children. His voice was soft and smooth but he gave emotion to the emotional movements. Alfred did not expect Bruce to be doing so well. For about fifteen minutes, Bruce read through the child's book. When he finished, everyone clapped. The teacher still appeared to be a little flustered from him but she just cleared her throat and stood in front of the class.
"We are going to take a quick break and then Mr. Wayne will read us his last book." She nodded kindly to Bruce before moving into the crowd of children.
Bruce felt Alfred take a step closer to him and turned his head. "That was quite emotional, yet beautiful." He joked. "Next thing you know, they are going to have you doing classroom tapes for books."
"I'd rather that not happen." Bruce managed to get himself out of the tiny chair and stretch. He pulled his arm over his head when he suddenly noticed something while he was looking up at the air vent directly above him.
Up at the air conditioning vent, the ceiling looked discolored. It looked like a pale yellow spreading on the ceiling. Bruce suddenly gasped and ran to the teacher. "Why don't you guys go get a drink of water?"
"But we-"
"No, I think water is a good idea." He put his hands on her back and began pushing her out the door softly. "Come on, kids." Bruce said. "Water time."
The bodyguards followed Bruce's suit. They appeared confused, along with the others.
"Sir, what is happening?" Alfred grabbed Bruce roughly by his arm but Bruce shook him away loosely.
His breathing was deep and his eyes were lowered. "Just go. He's here. I don't want him going after anyone else." As Bruce sank to his knees and doubled over, Alfred grabbed the rest of the children and rushed them out. The butler shut the door behind him.
"What are you doing?" The teacher yelled at Alfred and the bodyguards. Seeing as though the bodyguards knew nothing of what was going on, Alfred stepped up.
"Miss, please do not yell. You will frighten the children." He told her calmly. "In short, the Joker is after Bruce Wayne for some reason. He did not want to disappoint the children by cancelling but there was the possibility that something like this would happen. We can make up a lie to the children but they cannot come back by here." Alfred said.
"But why is he in there alone?" She tried to take a step towards the door but one of the bodyguards stopped her.
"Listen." He began. "The Joker is only after Bruce. He is willing to leave himself behind so that the maniac does not come after the children because you know as well as I do that he will. Do not worry. Bruce knows that he will not kill him. We just have to let him play it out and do not interfere."
"How do you know this for sure?" The teacher crossed her arms over her chest.
Alfred glanced at her angrily. "Just trust us."
Meanwhile, in the room, it was beginning to fill up with the odd colored vapor. Bruce laid on the ground, motionless. All of his muscles felt sore and he did not want to move. Suddenly, he heard his heart beat loudly for a few beats. It was painful but for some reason, a giggle escaped Bruce's mouth.
The giggles turned into chuckles and minutes later, Bruce was pushing himself up to sit on his knees while he began laughing hysterically. He saw something move from the corner of his eye but he could not turn his head because of how hard he was laughing. A figure jumped down from inside the ceiling. He was wearing a gas mask but his usual purple suit. As he took steps towards Bruce, he chuckled softly. "What kind of pathetic corrupted system is this? You are not atoning for your sins by reading for little kids, are you?"
Bruce finally managed to turned his body to the Joker. The criminal finally got a good look at Bruce. The man's dark eyes were wide with hysteria, his mouth was stuck in a smile and his skin had turned pale. "Oh, Brucey. I just want you to get used to the feeling of anarchy. Of no control. Of chaos. What it will feel like when law is lawless." He explained to him. "This is a little thing I had the Scarycrow make for me."
As the smoke began to clear out of the room, the Joker took off his gas mask. Bruce had fallen on his knees and elbows, hiding his face but the uncontrolled laughter still rang from him. "Are you feeling those sensations that you thought were dead?" He giggled. "Don't worry, Batsy." The Joker leaned down in front of Bruce as he prepared to lift his head. "This is all in your head."
At that moment, Bruce lifted his head and his eyes met with the Joker's greens. The Joker's expression fell when he saw tears pouring out of Bruce's eyes. The man was laughing hysterically but was crying? A second later, Bruce managed to let out a scream as he turned away. He brought his knees to his chest and hid his face.
In Bruce's head, thousands of thoughts crossed through his mind. Many were memories while many others were random images. All of the sudden, everything slowed down and he saw his parents stand above him. They smiled for a minute until their faces transformed into something monster-like. That was when he screamed and jumped away.
He couldn't handle all of this. Bruce continued to tell himself that none of these images were real and he was just sitting in an empty room but he could not control any other thoughts.
The Joker stood there, petrified. He did not know what to do. He had no idea that things would turn out like this. He figured Bruce would handle it better. Then again, Scarecrow could have given him a concentrated version without him knowing. The Joker's eyes turned darker as he thought about this. He was going to get that man back for this.
Now that the gas was completely cleared out of the room, Bruce's laughter was dying down. It became short bursts of giggles and loud laughter. Yet, he remained in the position he was in.
After thinking about it, the Joker decided not to move. He wondered if something like that would change Batsy's mind. Maybe he'd have the desire to kill after having his mind torn apart in the span of three minutes. But wasn't that what the Joker wanted? To get Batman to kill him? If he killed the Joker, then he'd have killed someone.
The Joker was surprised by his own thoughts. As he thought about everything, he discovered he didn't want him to kill him. After discovering Batsy was Brucey, he wanted to have more fun. He wanted to play with them more. The two of them were just so much fun and they were worth staying around for. (Yeah, he still did not think that Batman and Bruce were one in the same. They just seemed so different to be the same guy!)
"What do you want, Joker?" Bruce said coldly, though his tone was ruined by the chuckle after.
"Hm?" The Joker cupped his ear, leaning towards Bruce.
The billionaire turned his head and glared at the Joker. Still, a smile or laugh would break through every ten or twenty seconds. Unfortunately for Bruce, those did not go away as fast as the hysterical laughter did. "Why are you here?"
The Joker took a short step towards the other. "I wanted to talk."
"Then talk." He was extremely angry at the criminal. Still, Bruce was not so stupid to actually go after the Joker in the condition he was in.
He took on a more serious appearance to maybe intimidate Bruce but he soon realized that nothing would intimidate the man at the moment. "So, you went through all of that trouble to put me in Arkham just so I can easily escape. Batsy, I thought that you had something better up your sleeve."
"Don't call me that." He spoke in his Batman voice, even though it seemed like he did not mean to.
Glancing over at the doors, then the windows, the Joker shrugged his shoulders. "Why not? No one is here to see. Everyone ran away."
Bruce suddenly starting laughing again. He tried covering his mouth to muffle it but needed the hand to hold himself up. It passed after a minute and he was calm again. "What the hell is this?"
"Is what?"
He tried to push himself up to a standing position. Bruce felt weak and his whole body shook when his outbursts came. He was stuck on the floor. "You know what I am talking about. This gas. Whatever you poisoned me with."
The criminal took a moment to think. Then, "I believe it was an altered version of nitrous oxide. That would explain the odd color to it. ...Well, if there is something added to it, it is not exactly nitrous oxide. Either way, I'm sure it was a base ingredient."
"You are using something that you don't even know what it is?" Bruce went to charge at him but fell back to the ground, chuckling happily.
The Joker shrugged. "It worked, didn't it?" His green eyes glittered, seeing Bruce under him. "Now, I would like to make a negotiation."
"A negotiation?" He breathed deeply, trying to control the laughter.
"You know that they can't keep me in Arkham. I will always find a way out." A smile danced on his lips. "And the only way to get rid of me, Batsy, is to kill me, which you won't. For some stupid reason." The last sentence, the Joker looked away for a moment and mumbled it under his breath.
"And?"
The two had a stare down. It lasted almost thirty seconds before Bruce began giggling. The Joker smiled and leaned down to stand on his toes but brought his knees up to his chest. "I like it when you smile." He sang joyfully.
"It's not as if I have a choice." Bruce lashed back.
"I'll tell you what." The Joker hopped closer. "To tell the truth, Scarecrow told me that the effects will not go away completely for at least two weeks. Something about the chemical taking a while to be washed out of your system. I don't know too much chemistry. Or biology. Yeah..." He ran his hands through his greasy hair.
Bruce's eyes went wide. "What?" He shouted, quickly punching the Joker, landing his fist on the man's left cheek.
He swayed back and forth, trying to regain his balance. Finally, the Joker was able to maintain his position and let out a deep sigh. "You sound like you think it's a bad thing." He smiled once again, licking his lips. "How about this? I think we should be friends."
"Never."
"Well, you know, when things start to get boring, I have more where that came from." He motioned up at the ceiling, speaking of the gas he had used.
Bruce's eyes lowered. "I would never affiliate myself with a low criminal like you."
"That's not what you were thinking when you kissed me after you came in my mouth."
At once, Bruce stared at the floor. He rested his forehead on the carpet. All he could think was, "Ew..." He did not even acknowledge the Joker when he started snickering. Why did he have to bring that night up? As if he did not regret it enough. Not only did he let the Joker do something like that but he enjoyed it. Bruce decided that he would just keep his head down for a while. And the stupid laughs were not helping him!
"So what do you say?" The Joker chuckled. "We can grow more acquainted. I'll let you- OW!" He hopped backwards when Bruce punched his leg. "There's no reason to be embarrassed by the truth, Batsy." He growled. Then, an idea popped in his head. "In fact," He began as he stood up. The Joker stayed still until the right time. Right as Bruce had a small fit of laughing, the Joker jumped forward. He turned Bruce over, forcing him to lay on his back. He did all of this in one swift moment, and at the end of it, he had a laughing Bruce underneath him as he sat on Bruce's waist. "Don't you think this would be an entertaining situation?"
Bruce laughed, shaking his head. He pushed the Joker away with one arm while covering his mouth with the other. The clown easily knocked the hand to the side. He glanced down with a wide grin. His fingers traveled to his belt and began to play with it. Bruce launched his knee into the man's back. The Joker's expression fell. "Why do you have to be like that?"
"Get off me." He snapped, quickly jerking the Joker off of him. He finally found his way onto his feet. Bruce was standing in a fighting position but he could not stand up straight.
"Now, now, Batsy, I-"
All of the sudden, the door slammed open and a dozen officers accompanied by Alfred and Gordon blocked the exit. The Joker bent forward and pulled Bruce close to him, pointing a knife at his throat. "Let him go now!" Gordon shouted.
"Why would I do that?" The Joker's free hand traveled down to rub Bruce's thigh. Bruce let out a loud giggle. The Joker smirked and glanced up at the officers. "He seems to like it."
All of their handguns were pointed at the Joker. "Joker..." The leading officer threatened.
"You guys are no fun." He reached in his his long jacket and pulled out a grenade. At once, all of the officers became more serious. He brought it up to his mouth and pulled out the pin with his teeth. "Farewell, good soldiers!" He saluted them and rolled the grenade over to them. The Joker then pushed Bruce over at them.
"It's gonna blow!" One of the officer's screamed. They all scrambled around, trying to get away. Alfred ran forward and caught Bruce. Right as he turned around, there was a loud bang but there was no explosion. The room filled with smoke.
"Damn it. A smoke grenade?" Gordon asked, trying to blow the smoke with his hand and coughing at the same time. In a matter of seconds, the smoke cleared with the Joker no where in sight. "Search the area." Gordon turned on his heel and yelled to the other officers. "I can't believe it. A simple magician's trick... Is he okay?" He approached Alfred. The two older men stared down at Bruce, who was chuckling joyfully to himself.
"Master Bruce? Master Bruce, can you hear me?" Alfred tried to keep Bruce standing straight.
"I-....I need-" He burst out loudly with laughter and fought to double over but Alfred held him up.
"What is it, Master Bruce?"
"Get a doctor." Bruce told Alfred before continuing.
TBC
