A/N: This is soooo late. For the longest time, I had no urge to write Bleach. At all. It was a very, very long time before I got back into the mood. And then, when I finally wrote out chapter 12, and typed about half of it- my computer broke. Completely died. I have been without it for about a month. No mp3 player, no Fanfiction, no nothing. And guess what. Now that I got the computer back: every. Single. File. Is. Gone. Including everything I ever typed for Fanfiction. O.O Oh well. You're finally getting this. I hope it's worth the wait. My apologies to everyone who is ready to send me hate mail.
Dedication: My muse who kept pestering me.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Just the kind that ruins pretty, colorful clothing.
Chapter 12: Of Wet T-shirts, and Cat Fights
Isshin stared at the unconscious Byakuya. He had been lying on the floor for well over fifteen minutes. The stoic Sixth Division Taichou just refused to wake up. It didn't matter how much Sora and he poked him, the man simply, and blissfully stayed in the realm of unconsciousness.
Finally a cruel idea formed in Isshin's head. A grin spread over his face. He walked over to the door. Opening it, he poked his head outside. "Hey Sado," he called, "Can you get me something?"
From her perch on Byakuya's desk, Sora frowned; she couldn't hear Chad's answer.
"I need two buckets of water. One really cold, and the other warm," Isshin continued. "Can you get them for me?" He paused, assumingly listening to Sado's answer. "Thanks Chad," he said after a minute.
As Isshin turned to look back at Sora and Byakuya, the Third Division Taichou frowned. "What are you up to now, cousin?" she asked. "Who's the water for?"
Isshin chuckled. "Well the cold is for Byakuya," he grinned at her.
Almost wincing, Sora frowned deeper. "Do I want to know whom the warm one is for?" she asked.
"Probably not," Isshin replied. "I thought you might want to compete in a one-person-wet-t-shirt-contest. I figured we could take pictures, and send them to-"
Sora frown became a look of pure disgust, as she interrupted him. "You are an asshole," she told him. "I can not believe you and I are related by blood."
Chad entered the room a moment later and handed the buckets to Isshin. "Thank you Sado," Isshin said, grinning again. "Do you wanna watch?"
Sora glared at Isshin. "So help me if you get even one drop of water on me, I will kill you," she told him.
Isshin, knowing his cousin, realized she wasn't lying. "But Sora-chaaaaannn…" he whined. At her furious glare, he relented and handed her the warm bucket. Or at least he thought it was the warm bucket. Sora took one look at it, and dumped it over his head. It was in fact the cold bucket.
"There," she said, yanking the warm bucket out of his hands, "now I am content." She threw the water out at Byakuya. She emptied it over his head and then dropped the bucket right beside his head, with a loud clang.
With a muffled and spluttering shout, Byakuya's eyes opened wide. "What happened?" he asked sitting up. His eyes took in a sopping Isshin, and a strangely contented looking Sora. "Kurosaki? Mitsukai? What happened? How'd I get so wet?"
Sora opened her mouth to answer, when an odd look passed over her face. "Shit. Isshin, can you go back to the school? I forgot to tell the Headmistress about Rukia and Ichigo. A forewarning would be good for the poor lady. She's gonna get the shock of her life. Can I trust you to go and let Tsumana-sensei know about her new, unusual students?"
Isshin's face lit up and he crossed his fingers behind his back. "Of course you can, Sora-chan! Since when could you not?"
Sora glared at him. "If you do something stupid, so help me, I will kill you." A grin crossed her face. "Or castrate you."
A look of horror creased Isshin's face. "Sora-caaaaan…" he moaned. "I make such beautiful children. Don't you want more?"
Sora's face became disgusted once more. "The way you're talking, makes it sounds like you're having those children with me." She shivered. "The only thing any of them got from you was your hair, and only Karin got that."
"What about their Shinigami powers?"
"Natural ability," Sora growled. "Now go already."
Isshin left the room. "Why do I get the feeling I just made a horrible mistake?" Sora asked Byakuya.
The Sixth Division Taichou frowned as water dripped off of his nose.
Koiyuki dragged Rukia past the main office. "Come on. You have to meet my brother." Akina followed behind them in a half-hearted manner.
Words floated to where the girls stood. "…Kimiko-chan! I could tell you this every day and it would always be true! You are so bea-"
Rukia had entered the office. "Kurosaki-taichou!" she exclaimed. "What are you still doing here?"
Koiyuki and Akina looked at her in surprise. "You know Kurosaki-taichou?" Koiyuki asked. "Mom and Dad know him. Mom says he's weird."
"Koiyuki-chan!" Isshin exclaimed. "Rukia-chan! And… I don't know your name," he frowned at Akina. "What is your name?"
"That's Akina-san, Kurosaki-taichou," Rukia told him. "Why are you here anyway?" she asked.
Isshin's face adopted a pondering look. "I…don't…remember. Sora-chan asked me to do something, but… I don't remember what it was."
Rukia smiled happily. "Well you can come with us! We're going to go get Ichigo and his roommates for dinner!"
"I'd be very glad to come with you, Rukia-chan!" Isshin's grin was bright. "Bye-bye Kimiko-chan!"
The secretary behind the desk pouted. "Bye-bye Isshin-taichou!"
As they walked out of the office, Koiyuki eyed Isshin. "Aren't you married?" she asked. "Does she know that?"
"Kimiko-chan knows that. It was just harmless flirting," Isshin laughed.
Rukia looked at him. "Are you sure she knows that?"
Isshin stopped, frowning. "I think…. she knows…" he said tilting his head. "Anyway! Let's go get my darling son!"
"YOU STUPID STRAWBERRY!" shouted Kageromaru.
"YOU IDIOT MINI-PINEAPPLE!" Ichigo roared back.
"Don't insult my hair- you damn sunflower!" Kageromaru yelled angrily.
Ichigo blinked. "Sunflower? Where'd you get 'Sunflower' from?" he shook his head. "You're as stupid as your father!"
Against a wall, Hikaru watched. Terrified. "If you two bring out swords, I'm getting a teacher," he told them as he watched them, scared stiff.
Both boys turned to glare at Hikaru. "Shut up!" they roared.
They were so busy arguing that didn't notice the door opening suddenly. Kageromaru pulled back his arm, readying himself to punch Ichigo in the face. Suddenly someone caught his fist, twisted his arm and threw him into the wall. "Stop fighting!" roared Koiyuki.
Rukia tripped Ichigo and then sent him flying into the wall. ("Didn't know someone so small could pack such a punch," commented Hikaru dryly later on.) "Stop shouting Strawberry!"
Ichigo landed next to Kageromaru. "Obnoxious midget," he commented.
Rukia and Koiyuki, who was also lacking in height, glared at him. "Your face!" Koiyuki shouted.
Ichigo blinked. "Where the hell did that come from? My face has nothing to do with anything! I wasn't even talking to you!"
"You are now!"
"Who the hell are you?"
She pointed at Kageromaru, "Her sister!"
Kageromaru looked at his sister. "Oi!"
Ichigo picked up his arm and slammed his fist down on top of Kageromaru's head. Before another word was said, the two began rolling around on the ground.
From her spot peering over Rukia's shoulder, Akina chuckled. "Cat fight," she commented softly.
Koiyuki eyed the boys darkly. "Stupid boys," she growled.
Hikaru blinked at everyone. "What the hell…?" he muttered.
Isshin grinned. "Let's all go get dinner!" he laughed.
Ichigo and Kageromaru paused in their scuffle. "Food?" Kageromaru asked. They had stopped in an amusing position. Ichigo was pulling Kageromaru's hair and Kageromaru was attempting to poke Ichigo's eyes. "Food sounds good."
"Yeah," Ichigo agreed.
"Stupid, typical boys," she groaned, shaking her head. "The only damn thing you can agree on is food." She rolled her eyes. "Fine, let's go eat dinner."
Ichigo eyed Koiyuki. "So you and Kageromaru are twins?" he asked. "How do you handle him?"
"How'd your sisters handle you?" Kageromaru demanded in return.
Ichigo was about to make a comment about how he wasn't as bad as Kageromaru was, when he remembered he wasn't supposed to have sisters. "I don't have any sisters," he answered uneasily. "I'm an only child."
"What about my sweet darlings, Karin and Yuzu?" Isshin, who was sitting next to Rukia, two seats away from Ichigo, asked.
Ichigo felt horrible pretending not to know his sisters. "Who?" he asked slowly.
"My darling daughters!" Isshin shouted. "Oh my poor son! You have been raised without so much! No father's love (Not that he was complaining about that particular point, Ichigo thought)! No darling sisters! Oh you poor boy! Give me a hug!" Isshin threw himself at Ichigo, causing Rukia to fall out of her seat. Ichigo moved himself just enough so that his father collided with Kageromaru. His sister who had been between them moved out of the way as well.
Ichigo looked down at his father. "I am not related to you." He glanced down at Rukia who was struggling to get off the floor. "Here ya go," he said offering her a hand.
"Awwww…." Came a drawling voice. "Aren't they so cute?" Tatsuki and Renji were standing over them.
"Such lovebirds," added Tatsuki. "Always have been."
"Not always," contradicted Renji. "They were in denial for a while."
Ichigo resisted the urge to punch the pineapple. So were you, he thought angrily.
Koiyuki and Kageromaru looked at their parents in surprise. "What are you guys doing here?" Kageromaru asked as he struggled to get up.
"Came to visit out children," Tatsuki answered. "Is there a crime against that?"
"Probably," Ichigo growled. "You can go away now."
Renji glared at Ichigo. "You are a still a seriously stupid Strawberry," he pointed at the emblem on his coat. "I'm a Taichou. You can't tell or make me do anything."
Ichigo glared back at him. "Is being an asshole required of male taichou? Or is it just something you all specialize in?"
"Why you little…" Renji began. He trailed off as a tall girl walked over.
"Hey Abarai-taichou! Abarai-fukutaichou! Abarai-kun! Abarai-chan!" She smiled brightly, and then blinked at Ichigo, Rukia, Akina and Hikaru. "Who are you people?" she asked. She then seemed to notice Isshin's half dazed form lying on the ground. "Hey Isshin-taichou!"
"Hello Yumi-chan!" Koiyuki smiled back at the boisterous girl warmly. "You're a first year too?"
"Yep."
Ichigo frowned. "Who are you?" he asked the tall girl.
"Who am I?" she repeated aghast. "Who am I? You do not know who I am?" she stared at Ichigo. "I could ask you the same thing."
"Kurosaki Ichigo. This is Kuchiki Rukia."
The girl's face lit up. "You're the Kurosaki-sama?" she asked.
"And we're back to this," Ichigo commented with a sigh. "Drop the "–sama". Drop the "the". Okay?" he asked. "Can I have your name?"
The girl drew herself to her full height, which was rather imposing. "I am Ayumi. Eldest child of ten. Daughter of-" she broke off when she noticed two people standing in the door. "Mom! Dad!" she exclaimed.
Rukia blinked dumbly. "T-ten children?"
"They're your parents?!" Ichigo stared in shock.
"Ten children?" Rukia repeated, her eyes now simply wide with shock.
"Well….damn…"
End Chapter 12: Of Wet T-shirts, and Cat Fights
A/N: I hope the chapter was at least satisfactory. And kind of worth the wait. And if anyone was put off by the "your face" comment… I was channeling my friend. Leave feedback. I love it.
Oh- can anyone guess who Ayumi's parents are? E-cookies or other e-yummies to whoever can guess correctly!
Ambiguous Rose
