Ch. 5 My Never
I was about to head up the steps but he grabbed my arm. "Wait." He said. "Before we go and become surrounded by our friends, I want to tell you something."
"Okay." I said confused and I turned to look at him.
"I was wondering whether, maybe, you might…are you busy tomorrow?" He said and smiled his crooked smile.
"No, I am not busy. What were you thinking?" I was confused. Why couldn't he ask me that in front of everyone?
"Erm…I wanted you to come over again." He said hastily. "I want to play you the song I have been working on." His voice sounded strange. It was still velvety smooth but there was something else. But I didn't know what it was. Maybe it was nothing and I was just being crazy. I decided to ignore it.
"Of course. I really want to hear you play. I have been waiting too long to hear you." I said.
A huge smile came to his face. "Great." Then we walked back.
***
The next day I headed to Edward's after work.
"Angela, I have to go." I yelled about to take my apron off.
"But, Jess isn't hear yet and we're swamped." She responded.
"I know but I have plans. I cant' be late."
"Five more minutes please. Just finish up that table." She gave me a pleading look.
"Fine but I am taking another coke." She laughed at my comment.
I headed over to the final table. It was an old married couple.
"Hello, what can I get you guys?" I asked.
"Honey, what should I have?" asked the old man.
"Just get what you always get." The old women responded.
"But I feel like something new. What are you getting?"
"Do you need a minute?" I interrupted.
"Of course, not." The old women said. "He always does this. He thinks it's cute. He asked me that on our first date and he ignored my suggestion. He will have a sirloin, cooked medium and I will have a chicken sandwich. Thank you for asking though." The old man just laughed at his wife.
"Its true, ya know." The old man commented.
"Alright. I will put those in and they should be up soon" I said and walked away. They seemed like such a nice cute couple. I couldn't believe they still had jokes from their first date. I guess they are one of the rare couples that really do love each other. That thought brought a smile to my face. Maybe there was hope.
Jess arrived before the orders came up and I rushed to Edward's.
I was really excited to hear him play. He always talked about music and when he did, his voice changed, his eyes lit up and he became overly happy. Also, it was very hard to get him to be quiet once he started talking about music.
I got to his place as quickly as I could. I knocked on his door excessively to express how randomly hyper and how excited I was.
He answered he door with a perplexed look on his face. "You seem quite ecstatic this afternoon." He said. He gestured for me to come in and I did.
"I am! Yet I am not too sure why." I paused a second to think. "Maybe it was the three cokes I had at the restaurant, or maybe I just can't wait to hear you play?"
"Hopefully it's the latter." He replied and chuckled. "Follow me."
He then led to the second bedroom in his apartment. I had never been in there. But this was only my second time here. As I walked in, I was amazed. There were two nice looking guitars, a good but small piano, and stacks of pages full of notes. But that was not what made this room unbelievable. When you walked in if you turned to look back at the door, you saw an entire wall full of CDs and Vinyl records. The only piece of the wall that did not have music on it was the door itself.
"This is the most magnificent collection I have ever seen." I said as I awed the music wall. He had everything from the White Album to Dark Side of the Moon and then things I had never heard of.
"Thank you. To me, this is relatively small. My father has entire room of just music. But he has been collecting much longer than I have."
"This is not small. All of my music can fit on a small shelf. This is insane." I replied. I continued gazing at his music wall. I heard him walk away but I didn't register why he did, until I heard a piano playing. It was such a beautiful sound. I turned around to see that Edward was playing the piano. I stood there and closed my eyes in order to just listen. It was amazing. Was there anything he couldn't do? He continued to play and I kept my eyes closed to hear the music flow from the piano. I did not want the song to end. I wanted to stand there and have if play forever. However, my hopes were dashed when it did end. The end had a more melancholy tone than the rest, but just as incredible. It added a contrast to the rest of the song and really signified the ending.
"That was beautiful." I told him. I walked over and sat next to him on the bench. "Do you have a name for it?"
"Thank you. No I don't have name. Right now it is just 'Lullaby'. It is still not quite done though. I cannot seem to get the ending the way I want, but I will soon enough." He replied. He started messing around on the keys trying different notes for the end.
I put my hands on his to stop him from playing. "I don't think anything needs to change. I thought it was perfect." I really did. Every note flowed with the others. The melodies and harmonies fit together seamlessly. It truly was perfect.
He turned from the piano to look at me. "Well, the listener always feels that way, unless it's absolutely horrible. The author on the other hand never feels like a song is finished. I never finish a song I feel. I abandon it."
"Maybe or maybe this specific author is just a perfectionist." I said and laughed.
"Maybe." He said, mocking me.
We sat there for a while longer. He played me a few more songs, but the first song remained my favorite. I sat right next to him and watched. We were so close that we were almost touching and when he had to reach the higher notes his arm would brush against mine. And at parts that he knew well enough, he didn't look at the keys but at me. I liked the closeness. Event though I shouldn't.
I couldn't look away when he played. He was amazing, so focused and passionate. He was a different Edward when he played his music. It was not a better or a worse Edward, just a different one. He was at peace it seemed with everything around him and all he needed to know was what notes to play.
After he played, we moved from the music room to his smaller couch in the living room to sit and relax for a while. We were biding our time. We were waiting for the rest of the group to show up. Alice and I were taking the Cullens and Rosalie to the aquarium. They had never been there and living in Chicago, they needed to go.
"So why do we need to go to the aquarium?" Edward asked as we lounged.
"Because it is a Chicago pastime. Everyone goes to the aquarium at least once. Its wrong if you don't." I replied.
"Okay…." He was about to say something but there was knock on his door. He slowly got up form his comfy spot on the couch next to me and answered the door.
"You ready for an awesome time?" Alice squealed as she sprang into Edward's apartment. Jasper quickly followed her.
"Of course!" I said. "This is going to be great!
Emmett and Rosalie then followed Alice in. Emmett had his arm around Rose as usual.
"So how are we getting there?" I asked. The aquarium was in another part of the city and we could not walk there.
"I vote for a cab." Alice yelled.
"No, lets just take the 'L' its so much faster and there are too many of us, so we would have to take two" I argued.
"But the L is gross." Alice complained. Alice hated taking the subway or any type of public transportation. Not only were the color choices of the seats not fashionable but it was also dirty.
"Does anyone else care what we do?" I asked and looked at everyone.
Everyone seemed apathetic. Emmett wasn't even paying attention. He was looting Edward's fridge, looking for something to snack on while we decided.
"I pick whichever is faster. I have a lot of work to do tonight, and I will need to get back fairly quickly." Rose added.
"Alright that settles it. Sorry Alice." I said and Alice began to pout.
We all gathered whatever we needed and headed to catch the L. There was a stop not too far from Edward's place. Alice continued pouting the whole way and Jasper tried to console her but it didn't work. She sulked the entire walk. Once we got to the L, I had realized something I had earlier forgotten. It was rush hour. The trains would be packed. We would have to squeeze on to a train
We waited for a few minutes for the train to arrive. We let a couple pass because they were too full, but eventually we just had to get on one of over crowded trains. We filed in slowly all trying to find a space.
"This is awful." Alice commented as she and Jasper were pressed up against the doors.
"Its fine Alice, its only a few more stops." Jasper consoled. She just ignored it. But Jasper put his arm around her and she perked up a bit. He always knew how to calm her down. He was very nice to have around when she was upset.
However, the next stop did not help Alice's mood. A huge amount of people piled in. I ended up pushed into a corner against Edward. We were already extremely close, when the train lurched forward way too quickly, and I stumbled right into him. He caught me, like he always does.
"Oh sorry" I said as he was lifting me back up.
"No problem." He replied.
I turned to put myself back where I had been before but the space was gone. More people had filed in and taken it. I looked up at him with an apologetic face but he seemed fine. He seemed more than fine, actually. He was happy about it. And to be honest, I was too. I felt safe there. His arms were almost around me and he would be there immediately to catch me if I fell. I also loved how he smelled when I was close. It was so sweet and wonderful. It was nice to be able to be this close to a friend that wasn't Alice.
"We're here thank god" Alice yelled and sprinted off the train. I hadn't realized we had gone that far. Normally, this train ride took forever. I reluctantly moved away from Edward and walked with the rest of the group. I glanced back at him a few times as we walked to the aquarium. He always had his eyes on me.
"So where to first?" I asked.
"Dolphins!" Alice yelled.
"Okay Dolphins it is." I responded. We explored the rest of the aquarium together.
"Dude check out the size of that turtle." Emmett yelled to us. He was at the large circular tank in the middle of the museum. All the guys marveled over the giant turtle. While, the girls were mesmerized by the pretty colored fish.
"I think this one is my favorite." Rosalie said pointing a bright yellow one. "I love the color of it."
"Oh yeah" Alice replied. "That color would make a great dress. I should remember that." Alice could get inspiration from anywhere. It was pretty amazing how she could do that. She also never had to write down the random things that inspired her. She would always remember for the right garment. It was uncanny.
We stood there for a bit watching the fish, pointing out our favorites, and waving at the man in the tank feeding the fish.
"What is next on the agenda?" Edward asked.
"I need to go soon." Rose said. "I only have time for one more thing and I really wanted to go to the gift shop."
"Oh I vote for the gift shop too!" Alice squealed.
"No offense, but I don't want to shop Rose." Emmett said in a very polite voice. It was funny. He acted like a goof, but when it came to Rosalie, he was completely respectful.
"Yeah, me either, Alice. I still want to see the reptiles." Jasper said and then Alice pouted at him.
"Oh reptiles. Yeah, I want to see them." Emmett said to Rose with a pleading face.
"How about we go our separate ways and meet up later. Alice and Rose can shop, Emmett, Jasper and…" I looked at Edward to see if he wanted to see the reptiles but he nodded no. "They can see the reptiles. Then I can go see the penguins. Sound good." There was a resounding yes. "Okay just call when you want to go and we can meet at the entrance." We all waved goodbye and headed out separate ways.
I turned and headed for the penguins. Then from my side I heard, "Do you mind if I come with? I like penguins."
"Sure" I replied to Edward.
We headed downstairs to where they were. They were in the lower part of the museum. The underneath of the aquarium was magical. It was all practically underwater. Everything was dark because the sunlight didn't reach this level and they couldn't add too much light, or it would hurt the habitats. Also, everything looked blue because the color of the water filtered the light and changed its color. It also made the rooms seem to glow. I loved it here. I was glad we came. I never have time to spend here anymore.
"Penguins, lovely." He said as we approached the tank.
I laughed. "They are the best part of this place." I said.
"I know. I almost agree." He said and looked at me with his defining intense stare.
I stared back for a moment. I don't know why. It must have been the setting. The dim light and blue color everywhere. But I eventually broke away. "What is better than this if you almost agree?" I asked
"Really this whole aquarium is the best spot as long as you are there." He said. I turned away from him
I blushed. I hated when he said things like that but I liked also. They were so nice and he said them with such sincerity that I had to believe him. But I could not return the compliment. I liked being with him and I had more fun when he was around but, I don't know. It just was not the same.
"Also, that enormous circular tank is pretty amazing as well." He added quickly, noticing my strange reaction to his first statement.
We stayed there for a long time, talking and watching the penguins. It was one of the best times I have had. We named them all after each other. Emmett was the big jumping off rocks. Alice was the small one that refused to get in the water. Jasper was the one who to follow the Alice penguin around. Rosalie was the penguin that ignored the Emmett penguin. Then there were two penguins off in their own little world and we decided that those were us.
"What time is it?" I asked, realizing we would have to leave soon.
But before he could answer a loud speaker sounded. "The museum will be closing in ten minutes. Please make your way to the exits."
"How did it get so late?" I asked Edward.
"I do not know. Why didn't anyone call us?"
We quickly got up from the bench in front of the penguins and started walking up the steps to enter the main part of he aquarium and all of sudden my phone buzzed and so did his. I looked at my screen and I had 4 missed calls, one voicemail and five text messages from Alice and Jasper. "Our phones must have been out of range." I concluded. "How many call did you miss?"
"Too many" He replied.
All of the texts where mostly the same, asking where we were and if we were alive. I checked Alice's voicemail message
You must be having too good of a time with Edward to not answer my call which is amazing! But we are done and we have other things we need to do, so we are heading out. I am pretty sure you can get yourself back. If you need anything, just call. Bye, have fun with Edward.
I shook my head and laughed at Alice's message.
"What is it?" Edward asked.
"Just Alice being Alice. Apparently they left a while ago. I got that message 2 hours ago."
"That was what Emmet said in his message. They said they waited as long as they could but Rose really needed to go."
"I understand. Whatever, it's not hard to get back. But there are only a few more trains. So we had better move."
We headed out of the museum. It was fairly cold. It was now early November and winter was hitting us full force. The L stop was only a block or two away. The walk wasn't horrible. We were heading up the stairs right and we noticed a train was already there. If we ran we could make it. Edward thought the same thing "Run?" He asked and I nodded. He grabbed my hand and pulled me to catch the train. We just made it.
"That was close." I breathed. We stood on the train for a while to catch our breath. Then I noticed he never let go of my hand. I looked at our hands entwined together and then up at him. He did not seem to realize they were still together. Should I keep holding it? I didn't know. Was that appropriate for friends to do, hold hands? But the question was answered. As the train pulled out, I obviously fell and let go of his hand to steady myself.
I felt a bit awkward after that and we stood a bit apart for the rest of the train ride. He should have got off the train a stop before me, but he insisted on walking to my dorm. He wouldn't take no for an answer.
I was arguing with him as we walked off the train. "Edward, I can walk myself two blocks back to the dorm. I have done it before."
"It would be easier for me, if I knew you got back safely. Now, will you stop debating me on this. It's too late anyway."
"Fine" I grumbled.
We walked back in silence but it was not awkward silence. It was a peaceful silence. The type of silence where you're so comfortable that you don't need to say anything. We arrived at my dorm quickly with no mishaps, like I knew would happen.
"Goodnight Edward."
"Goodnight Bella Swan."
I slowly turned away from him and headed inside. I wasn't sure if he left as I walked in. I walked up to my room. I was happy. Today was a nice day. As I headed in, Alice jumped from her seat and ran to me.
"So, what happened?" She asked
"Nothing, Alice we talked. It was nice." I continued walking to my bed and she followed closely behind me.
"No, you couldn't have just talked." She said over excitedly. "You didn't answer my phone calls. Talking does not distract you that much." She continued to argue.
"Our cell phones were out of range. We didn't get your call until we finally came upstairs. Nothing happened. Besides, we are just friends. How often do I have to stress that point? He knows that and I know that. We are perfectly fine with it. Its perfect really."
"Are you really fine with that? I mean you have been spending a lot of time with him. Feelings have not changed?" She asked in an almost hopeful way. It was a tad annoying tone of voice.
"No Alice, they have not. And neither has his, I am sure. He likes just being friends too. This is the best way for both of us."
Alice stared at me, skeptically. "Whatever you say Bella. But I don't know how long this boy can resist you."
I rolled my eyes. "Trust me Alice, he is having no problems resisting me. Now if you don't mind, I am exhausted and I have an early class tomorrow."
EPOV
She looked so beautiful in the blue light of the aquarium water. I could not look away. She looked at me and was probably wondering why I was staring. "Penguins, lovely" I said quickly to shift her focus. She laughed.
"They are the best part of this place." She said.
"I know. I almost agree." I said but I was not looking at the penguins when I said that. I looked only at her.
She stared back for a moment. It was the best moment. I loved staring straight into her chocolate brown eyes. I rarely ever got to, but when I did I savored the moment. But she soon broke away. "What is better than this, if you only almost agree?" She asked
"Really this whole aquarium is the best spot as long as you are there." I said. She then turned away from me. Why did I say that? Of course it would upset her. She did not like me like that. It must have been the setting, fogging up my mind that made me.
"Also, that enormous circular tank is pretty amazing as well." I added quickly, to try and make her forget my last statement. She seemed to forget or at least, ignore it. I was relieved.
We sat there in a dim romantic light but I could not brush the hair out of her face, I could not hold her hand, or caress her cheek. I deeply wanted to and it took all my control to keep myself a safe distance. I did not know what it was about this girl made her so amazing but she was. She was perfect but I could not have her. I was grateful to have her as a friend, but I don't know how long I can last as just a friend.
"What time is it?" She asked.
I looked at my watch but the loud speaker told us it was way later then we thought. We quickly went upstairs. We both had missed calls from our friends telling us they left two hours ago. We left the aquarium quickly. Bella said there were only a few trains left this late at night. As we approached the train stop there was already a train. We would have to move quickly.
"Run?" I asked. She nodded. Out of instinct, I grabbed her hand and pulled her with me. We made it just in time. It was a fairly long run, so we stopped to catch our breath. I kept her hand in mine. I couldn't force myself to let it go. She was not letting go either. Did she notice that I was still holding her hand? But the train ruined my blissful moment, it lurching forward and caused Bella to lose her balance and have to let go of my hand to steady herself.
The rest of the ride was torture. We stood only so close and I could not step any farther. My stop was coming up soon, but I did not want to leave her. For one, I didn't want to leave for selfish reasons. But I also did not want to leave her because it was the city at night and who knew what could happen to her. I couldn't live if something happened to her. I was better off miserable as her friend then nothing if she was gone.
"Bella, I am going to skip my stop." I told her.
"Why?" She asked.
"I am making sure you get back safely." I stated.
"You don't have to do that. I have walked this by myself before."
The train had just pulled to my stop. But I refused to get off. She argued with me about it for the duration of the train ride and then some.
As we got off at her stop she said, " Edward, I can walk myself two blocks back to the dorm. I have done it before." She was cute when she was angry over nothing and just being stubborn.
"It would be easier for me, if I knew you got back safely. Now, will you stop debating me on this. It's too late anyway." I replied.
"Fine" She grumbled.
We walked silently back to her dorm. It was a nice walk. We did not need to speak to each other and it felt nice. She was becoming more comfortable with me. That made me smile. As we got up to her dorm she said, "Goodnight Edward," and walked up the stairs to her door.
"Goodnight Bella Swan." I replied for her to hear. But as I walked away I whispered, "Goodnight my never."
I sighed. This was the worst part of spending time with Bella, when I had to leave.
