A/N: So I finally get the chance to work on chapter. Thanks for all those people who added my story to their alerts. It always helps that someone might be very annoyed if you only update once in a blue moon. So enough chatting, Onward! Oh and I need suggestions for a sexually abusive character. See my profile for who not to suggest.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Too tired to come up with something funny


The Incredibly Suckish thing called a High School Relationship

-L-u-n-c-h-

"Hey Naruto! Kiba!" called out Chouji as they walked up to him, Shikamaru, Gaara, Sai and Neji on the way to their usual spot.

"How was the new teacher?," Chouji continued Did he run out of the room screaming and tearing his hair out till the big, strong men with the big needle came and carted him out to the nuthouse?"

"No, not yet" Kiba laughed.

"Hey where's Ino, Sakura and Lee?" Shikamaru asked, finally noting the absence of the other members of their group.

"Oh they'll be around later," Naruto said in that mysterious way that spelt trouble for any target within a five mile radius.

The other boys who weren't in on the plan couldn't wait to see what was going to happen.

-With-S-a-k-u-r-a-,-L-e-e-a-n-d-I-n-o-

"Shh!" Sakura said as Lee, for about the hundredth time, knocked over something. "Do you want to get us caught?!" she whisper-yelled. They were in the teacher's staffroom, specifically their Form teacher's staffroom looking for his desk. They were supposed to put in some package that Naruto had given them into it. Since this was Naruto who had given them the package they were making sure of two things. One they handled the package with care so whatever was in it didn't happen to them and so that Naruto wouldn't kill them and Two, that they were did it quickly, so that they could eat while watching the wonderful, although not so wonderful for their teacher, results.

"Sorry," Lee whispered back.

"He, what's in the package anyway?" Ino asked.

"Dunno," Sakura replied, "Yes! This must be his!"

"Why?" Lee asked.

"Cuz it has stuff with his name on it." Sakura answered and focused on her task. She couldn't even think of failing in her task, for fear of the mortal danger it would present. She gently placed it in the exact middle of the desk and stepped to admire her work. She had no idea why Naruto had told her to put it in the exact middle of the desk, but she didn't question fearless leader's wisdom. She knew what happened when someone didn't follow his instructions. It wasn't what he'd do to you, it was whatever he'd given you instructions about that would hurt you. Ino and Lee also admired the perfection of it.

"Now what do we do?" Lee asked after a while.

"Now we run like hell," Sakura answered, "cuz I hear the Principal's footsteps coming down the hall."

-W-h-e-n-T-s-u-n-a-d-e-e-n-t-e-r-e-d-

"Hmm, looks like some of your students were here Uchiha," Tsunade said to the new teacher, who had been begging her for a transfer to teach another class from almost as soon as he "surreptitiously" sidled up to her as she was walking down to the teacher's staffroom.

"Really?" asked Sasuke, pausing for a moment in his grovelling to look around. "How do you know?"

"Well, first of all I heard voices as we were walking down the hall, secondly I don't think that window was open before and finally, I don't think you would wrap your lunch in a parcel." Tsunade explained

"I wonder what they are planning?" Sasuke wondered.

"Oh I'm sure it's nothing," Tsunade replied. 'I doubt that,' she thought.

"I might as well open it," Sasuke said, and with no regard for personal safety, opened the package.

"Oh cookies!" Sasuke exclaimed, "And a card! It's from that Uzumaki kid, it says he's sorry! Looks like I might no need that transfer after all."

"I told you it was nothing, Tsunade said, patting his shoulder. 'Poor, naïve child.' She started walking out of the staffroom.

"I thought you were going to eat in here?" Sasuke called to her as she left.

"I just remembered I have some work have to catch up on," Tsunade replied. 'Or I'm afraid of the fireworks. That Uzumaki kid was born in the wrong century, they would have loved to have him in the Spanish Inquisition"

-W-i-t-h-N-a-r-u-t-o-,-S-a-k-u-r-a-K-i-b-a-a-n-d-t-h-e-m-

"Are you sure they're coming?" Neji asked Naruto. It had been had 10 minutes since they had gotten to their usual spot, a place on the school grounds, upriver from the lake, at the source of one of the tributaries that branched into the main river. They, excluding Naruto, were worried. Sakura was extremely good at stealth and so was Ino, as they all had learned the hard way. Sure Lee, who was uncontrollable at the best of times, was with them but they were so good that that should make up for it right? But hat if it hadn't at Tsunade had caught them or-

"Hey you guys! Why couldn't you wait for us?!" a familiar voice that belonged to their pink-haired friend rang through trees.

"Yeah!" the voice of her blonde friend agreed.

"Because we go tired of waiting for you," Naruto tossed back.

"Liar!" Sakura yelled indignantly, "You didn't wait for us at all!"

"So?" Naruto asked cheekily. He should have known better. Lucky for him, she didn't him so hard and there was mud, instead of rock, at the bottom of this particular tributary.

"So how was the first day for you guys?" Sakura asked sitting down. The other boys looked away from the tributary and turned to face her.

"All right," Shikamaru replied.

"Not you," Sakura said, "Chouji. The rest of you barely give me monosyllables on a good day. Besides you all are in the same class so I only need one answer."

"It was pretty good," Chouji answered, "We got Asuma-sensei as our class teacher and Anko-sensei is our English teacher so we have to be careful. I miss our last teacher, she didn't really care weather or not we handed up our assignments on time. We got a good Math teacher to make up for it though..." and so Chouji went on while his companions ate until one of them said,

"Naruto has been under an awfully long time hasn't he?"

"Yeah he has," Sakura observed. The friends were suddenly filled with worry for their friend and looked toward the river and saw...

... a note propped up against a medium-sized rock.

"Dear guys, "they read in unison, "By the time you read this note it will be almost time for the fireworks. Hurry back. Signed the Number-one Knucklehead." They immediately forgot about their lunches, except Chouji who ate as he ran, and started and started running at Usain Bolt-like speed back toward the school.

"What do you think will happen?" Lee asked

"I don't know...." Ino replied

"......but I can't wait to find out," Sakura finished.

And the rest of the group agreed and increased their speed. After all, no one wants to miss the first prank of the year.

-W-i-t-h-N-a-r-u-t-o-

Naruto checked the time on his watch. It was almost time for the fireworks to begin. And judging from the disturbance in the forest his friends would arrive just in time. He always did like an audience. It would begin in 5..4..3..2..1!


End A/N: Hah! Feel the suspense...Feel it!!! Sorry it's so late. Don't expect quick updates on any of my other stories. Stupid French homework. At least school has finished. Go to my profile to get the link to my DA profile to read my journal about my last day of school. I did possibly illegal things. And everyone, pray that Obama does not get injured in is time in my country, Pray! If you are an atheist who likes Obama become a believer just for a minute I love the Slumdog Millionare ending song. Watch it, and Charlie the unicorn. Poor Charlie, they keep taking from him. This school is almost as rich as Utena's.