The Escapades of DARTH! Maximus – Chapter Three
Disclaimer: I own no Harry Potter or Star Wars or Georgio.
AN: Hm, little children may want to stay away from this chapter. Includes a few people getting murdered, not that that is not daily life though, and also may include a rather disturbing and retarded Jedi Master Georgio. You have been warned.
Enjoy!
Chapter Three – U-No-Poo Rebuilt!
Darth Maximus clambered out of the damaged space shuttle, followed by his ever faithful Minion Secretary. They had crash-landed on a forest. No, not in the forest, but on the forest. They were hanging, on a branch. Scowling, Maximus jumped down and onto the forest floor. Ahead, lay a path that led into some sort of village. Striding purposefully, he walked into the place known as Diagon Alley. People wearing robes of different colours strode by. Nearby, a boy with a curious lightning-bolt scar was walking with an old, ugly man who was wearing neon green robe. Minion Secretary sniffed and wrinkled her nose.
Just as Maximus was walking past a huge building with 'Gringotts' written on it, there was a huge popping sound as twenty rather ugly people in black robes and white masks appeared. Mildly interested, Darth Maximus turned around, watching several people scream in fear. Next to Maximus, Minion Secretary drew her sword. Suddenly, a few of the Death Eaters turned around and poked their funny looking sticks at the duo. Green jets of light (rather looking like puke) spewed out (no pun intended) of their sticks. With an airy wave of his hand, he sent the jets back at the unfortunate Death Eaters. Immediately, they started retching onto the ground as the jets of light hit them. Unfortunately, there was one casualty as Maximus accidentally sent an AK curse back without a vomit curse involved...unlucky death eater died immediately. His more fortunate friends, who were crawling on the ground pitifully, would die after relieving their stomachs. A rather painful death.
Angry that the Death Eaters had attacked him, Maximus drew his sword and jumped literally into the fray, chopping blindly this way and that. The strange boy with the lightning-bolt scar and the old man were standing to the side staring dumbly at Darth Maximus and Minion Secretary.
"DIEEEEEEEE!!" a nearby Death Eater by the name of Bellatrix Lestrange screamed, and choked as she found a sword stuck in her waist. Darth Maximus blinked.
"Oops," he muttered and withdrew the sword. In the corner of his eye, he saw movement and saw bright fluoro pink robes moving away quickly. Then, looking up, he found the old ugly man approaching him.
"Er, excuse me Insert name here, but how on my pink fluffy slippers did you defeat a whole group of Death Eaters?" he demanded of Maximus.
"Ohh...well, I'm Darth Maximus," Maximus said smugly.
Albus Dumbledore, ever sniffing out potential allies, decided to invite him for a short stay at Hogwarts. Hm, was that a good idea? Read on!
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"This castle certainly is big," he remarked to Minion Secretary after being briefed on Voldemort and how the Wizarding World worked. He was still wondering about the fluoro pink robed person..it reminded him of his old master from his Republic days as a Jedi...but he shunted it out of his mind, determined to not think of the reason why he had electric blue hair.
Minion Secretary nodded absently as she checked her blade for nicks. They continued walking in silence...and walked...and walked..and got lost. Eventually, they stumbled across the boy who was known as Harry Potter.
"Er- excuse me Mister Maximus, Minion Secretary, are you lost?" he asked. Maximus nodded his head sagely. Harry proceeded to lead them back into the Great Hall, just in time for lunch. Along the way, Harry had explained in depth the minor situation of one Lord Voldemort- aka Tommy boy. Processing this new information given by the boy, Maximus formulated a plan to rid the world of the one Lord Voldemort- rather creatively too.
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Voldemort stood in the forest, surrounded by his ever faithful Inner Circle of Death Eaters. He looked around as he finished writing his plans for his assault on Hogwarts. Suddenly, out of nowhere there was a POP! as Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter, Dobby the house elf and two seemingly random people appeared. He gaped in horror as Dobby the house elf zapped him with his awesome house elf powers to an abandoned shack- the Shrieking Shack.
Pop! The others appeared behind the hated Potter as he advanced with his wand in hand.
"You cannot kill me...while my Horcruxes remain safe and sound," Voldemort snarled. Darth Maximus stepped forwards and took the wand from Harry and smiled.
"Well, we may not be able to kill you magically, but we can do it the muggle way- look out!" he exclaimed. Immediately a rather purple triple-decker bus appeared.
"Good evening, welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard, I am Stan Shunpike, your conductor for the eve..." he looked quizzically around. Harry was busy trying to stifle giggles as a hand appeared from beneath the bus. Maximus smirked. Banishing the bus, he decided it was time for phase two. Using his non-existent magical force powers, he collapsed the wall on top of a flattened Voldemort. However, he managed to blast his way out.
"Avada Kedavra!" he screamed at Maximus. However, the spell did not hit Maximus...nor did he hit anyone. Rather, it hit a flying broomstick! What the?!
"WAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" a brightly pink coloured figure went flying by, flattening Voldemort yet again.
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" he went again.
...and again.
...and again.
SPLAT!
Jedi Master Georgio stood up, admittedly slowly.
"Hi there, apprentice!" he yelled at Maximus at the top of his lungs. Maximus growled in annoyance. His appearance yet again had confirmed that the person standing in front of him was indeed- Jedi Master Georgio. Jedi Master Georgio had been his Master in his Republic days- when he was a Padawan Learner. Georgio's stupidity and utter insanity had given him a short and explosive temper. Maximus finally tipped the day that Georgio had 'accidentally' spilled blue colouring potion on his hair: causing his hair to be his electric blue colour. He blamed the Jedi Council for doing this to him and Georgio for being the old crazy Jedi that he was. He glared at Georgio and spun around, making his way back to the abandoned ship.
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Aboard the ship, Maximus set the controls for his next destination: Arcadia.
AN: Click that blue button! You KNOW YOU WANT TO :D
