The Escapades of DARTH!! Maximus – Episode I
Disclaimer: -insert random disclaimer here-
Summary: Very AU! Darth Maximus is the reigning Sith Lord, with his loyal assistants servants Minion Secretary, Minion One, Minion Two and Minion Three. Oh no! What does this mean for our poor, poor galaxy?!
A/N: I return to the world of the living!
Enough of my ramblings.
-Darth Maximus
Chapter Six: Crashing the Comp
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
Bounce, bounce, bounce.
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
"We've arrived, sir," Minion Secretary said helpfully as Coruscant zoomed into view. Maximus paused mid-bounce and turned around to face her.
"Ah, yes," he beamed, and skipped over to the controls. A second later, the Computer veered crazily, shuddering as something collided with it.
"Ahhhh!" screamed Maximus in a very girlish tone. He let go of the controls and cowered behind his chair. A moment later, the Super Star Destroyer made one more jolt and lay still.
"Ow," piped up Maximus, rubbing his sore backside. Suddenly, the double doors to the control room were thrown open, bright light streaming through it, silhouetting a dark form. The figure stepped forwards, out of the light, and into the room, revealing-
"Hi," The Cleaner said, randomly.
Minion Secretary expelled a breath she had been holding.
"I can't believe how irresponsible you were! I mean look at the damage you did to the Computer! Crashing into an asteroid! Honestly!"
The Cleaner took a deep breath, and continued her rant.
"Now look at what I have to clean up! The front nose of the ship is damaged severely and we'll be stuck in space for a long time! How could you do such a thing?!"
"Now see here-" Maximus attempted to explain.
"NO!" The Cleaner stomped her foot and brandished her mop dangerously at Maximus. "What I see is myself having to go out into space and cleaning up the mess that is the front half of the ship!"
Minion Secretary scratched her nose.
"What's the point?" she asked. "It's just another piece of stuff floating in space." The Cleaner considered this for two point seven seconds before sniffing and glaring at Minion Secretary for making a valid point. Then she turned on her heel and left, slamming the doors behind her. The light stopped shining.
"Well," Darth Maximus said, blinking. "Let's go have some food."
"Hum de hum, ho ho ho," Darth Maximus hummed to himself as he sat down at a table in the mess. "How are you this fine day, Minion Secretary?"
Minion Secretary turned around from her seat and blinked owlishly at Maximus.
"It's not day," she pointed out, before fooding a sandwich. Darth Maximus winked, because he couldn't be bothered to blink, and then gazed out of the window.
"Is that a Cleaner shaped person out there cleaning up the Computer and fixing up the front of the ship?!" he exclaimed suddenly, pointing. Minion Secretary rolled her eyes before looking out of the window too.
"No, that is the Cleaner cleaning up the Computer and fixing up the front of the ship," she replied, and then turned back to her food. Honestly, Maximus could be so stupid sometimes.
Maximus burped.
"Anyway," he continued, "This means that our visit to Coruscant is delayed. We should go there after the ship is fixed, and then return home to Pie, for there is much work to do. For example, finishing the two month old biscuits Georgio gave me as a Christmas present."
"Yay," Minion Secretary mumbled, and drank the rest of her juice.
Two days later...
"I have a fantastic idea!" Darth Maximus yelled. It was their second day on the damaged Star Destroyer, and Maximus had discovered the wonders of toilet training.
Of course, he already knew that, but that's beside the point.
"What is it?" Minion Secretary asked primly, clicking on a pen and fishing a notebook out of her hair.
"I forgot," Maximus replied sadly, using Minion Secretary's hand to wipe away a few errant tears.
Minion Secretary sighed.
One day later...
"I've finished!" crowed a triumphant voice from around the corridor. "It's done!"
Minion Secretary hurried from another room to meet the source of the voice, glad to know that the ship had been repaired and they could leave, but...
"Huh?" she blinked confusedly. This person most certainly was not the Cleaner.
"I've finished the single player version of Star Wars Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy!" Darth Maximus crowed happily, brandishing a paper-thin laptop at her.
"Yes, the Computer is quite repaired," The Cleaner said quite firmly. "It shall work quite finely after you come from your quite quiet, but not really, adventure."
"Hmmmm," Darth Maximus mused, peeking out of the screen at the fixed Computer. "I suppose we should head off to Coruscant."
"Yes," replied Minion Secretary. "Although I do have one question..."
Maximus raised an eyebrow and gestured for her to continue.
"Why didn't we just take the Lamb and go to Coruscant while the Cleaner fixed up the Computer?"
A/N: Hello! Long time no see, and here's another chapter.
