Disclaimer: Pel and Tel don't own anything. At all. Thanks for asking.

OK, so, this is awkward. Yes, we said we would update frequently. And we meant it! But our crazy lives got in the way. It was terrible, you should have seen it. Fortunately, we appear to have no lives once again. Victory! So now our loyal fans can finally breathe easier, uncross their fingers, and move forward. Because we know you were doing that. It's a gift.

Rumor has it the next chapter is nearly finished...


Xander rubbed his brown eyes with his palms and groaned dramatically. If only he had known that cute, tiny blonde who had shown up in his life one day would lead to ridiculous amounts of reading. And pain. And humiliation. And angry, bleach-blonde vampires with irritating accents who were Billy Idol wannabes and weren't nearly as tough as they thought they were… Wait, what was he doing again?

"It feels like we've been doing this forever," he bemoaned. "It's almost as though we're in this terrible fanfic, and the writers haven't updated for nearly a year." Xander couldn't stop the shudder that ran through his body. Being stuck in a fanfic was his idea of hell. "They'd probably have me making out with Spike, and saying words like 'sophisticated' and drinking fine wines. And you would probably still like guys, Will. Will?"

The red-headed witch (one of two now) continued to stare at her book, but her eyes weren't moving. After a few moments she looked up and her eyes were filled with sorrow. Xander was glad, not for the first time, that his male hormones protected him from deeper, scarier emotions.

"Do you think some things are just meant to be?" she whispered to her best friend since childhood. "I mean, do you think some people are meant to be together? No matter what happens?"

Xander gulped audibly. Sure, he and Will had their romantic moments. As teenagers they'd mixed signals, awkwardly bumped body parts, randomly made out during a life-and-death situation, and destroyed pretty good relationships. But what friends hadn't? He loved her, more than he loved his entire, drunken family. More than he loved his collection of Bruce Campbell movies. Even more than he loved the sexiest of Xena episodes… Perhaps he had a thing for lesbians?

"Xander? Are you thinking about Xena again?" Willow chuckled softly.

"Um, no. I mean yes. Always. But that's not the point," he panicked. Loving someone did not mean you were in love. He had to handle this carefully. Willow was a delicate, shy girl, and he didn't want to hurt her.

He took the good witch's hand gently in his own. "Listen, Will. You know how in the start of show, it kinda makes sense that Xena is with Hercules? How they just seem to fit together? But then Xena moves on and they're just friends. And then she meets Gabrielle, and they kiss, and it's really hot? I'm your Hercules, sweetie. Not your Gabrielle."

Willow slowly drew her hand out of Xander's. She saw him wince, waiting for copious amounts of tears and snot to come pouring out of her. She turned away from him and her shoulders began to shake, jerking with great emotion.

"Ah, Will," he sighed as he reached for her. "I didn't mean to … wait, are you laughing?!"

Willow finally allowed her giggles to burst out of her. There was a certain kind of magic in laughter that no spell could reproduce. Still shaking, she threw her slender arms around her very own village idiot. "I wasn't talking about you, goofball. I was thinking about Tara."

"Oh," Xander sighed. "Oh." He blushed. "Oooooh. This is charmingly awkward of me." His best friend hugged him tighter, her pain forgotten for a few shining moments.

"If it's any consolation, that was a fantastic metaphor."

"Wasn't it? Let's pretend this didn't happen. Like every other day of our lives."


"This is strange."

Sirius cocked a very carefully groomed eyebrow. "Strange? That's the best you can come up with? You, Moony Lupin, who never earned less than an Outstanding on your exams? The extensive vocabulary tucked away in that head of yours get damaged on the way here?"

Remus hardly showed a flicker of irritation. Padfoot was infamous for being grouchy when he had gone days without girls fawning over him. "I am infinitely apologetic that my terminology did not properly encompass the grand range of bizarre that is this misadventure. Is that better?"

The Black heir merely grunted and shoved the dusty tomes across the table. Never in his life had he ever looked at so many books. Not even the scandalous ones under his bed that had pictures of Muggle women in bathing suits. He needed a woman. Any woman.

The bell above the Magic Box entrance tinkled merrily as the world's favorite Slayer marched inside.

"Well, maybe not just any woman," muttered Sirius.

"I'm sorry, did the man who is entirely comfortable using all of my shampoo in the shower have something to say?" inquired Buffy in a clipped tone.

"I thought you smelled rather lovely today," snickered James, conveniently returning from a lengthy trip into the stacks with his wife.

Sirius's lips pulled back in a distinctly canine sneer. "Really, Potter, I thought you had gotten over your infatuation with me. For your child's sake, you must let go."

The Seeker opened his mouth, prepared to deliver a scathing retort when a polite, very British cough interrupted him.

"Ahem," Giles muttered, shuffling his feet. "Now, let's… let's not argue. Has anyone had any luck? Any, um, portal spells? Reversals, perhaps. Magical artifacts?" he addressed the carpet in-between his comfortable shoes.

The Marauders and Scoobies all shuffled and muttered confessions of failure. Remus frowned, tracing his finger over the incredibly intricate pattern carved into the binding of "El Libro de la Bruja." Giles' careful translations in the margins didn't help much. For once in his life, he understood how the others felt about studying. There was too much swimming around in his head.

"I don't understand why we're here. I mean-"Lupin stopped and sighed, gathering his fluttering ideas and half-thoughts. "Why this place? And why now? This is several years ahead of our world. Or were we just sent in time? Is there another set of Marauders living their lives right now?"

Giles took his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose. When he perched them carefully back on, he noticed that all of the Scooby Gang had gathered as well. They looked at him confidentially, assured that he always had the answers. It filled him with joy and dread, pride and concern. He had never let them down, and didn't plan to now.

"Now, I'm afraid all I have are conjectures, guesses, if you will."

"Educated ones though!" Anya chirped. "We deal with weirdoes like you all of the time." She smiled and nodded reassuringly at Lily.

"Quite. Um, yes, well, we have dealt with a direct branch dimension before. That's where you have doppelgangers, variations of one's self." Lupin noticed Willow slump slightly in her seat and look uncomfortable. "Alternate realities such as these are based off of one action, one monumental change that affects everything. This, however, is entirely different."

Buffy smiled as her Watcher's eyes began to gleam. He was an uber nerd for stuff like this.

Giles forged ahead, his voice growing stronger. "No, this is new. For example, your magic doesn't properly work here. Your wands don't seem to channel it correctly. Witchcraft is a completely unique art in our world. If there was a Hogwarts, I certainly would have uncovered it. And the vampires of your world are nothing at all like the demon-possessed that infest Sunnydale. No, what we have is two entirely separate, individual worlds that have never crossed paths. Until now." The intelligent librarian finally stopped to take a breath. "It's quite exciting, really."

Sirius, who had been silent for far too long, finally broke in. "For you, maybe. The rest of us are a bit sick of resting on blondie's charming, stained comforters. I've seen house elves that have nicer belongings than this."

A great snapping noise rang through the tiny shop as Buffy shattered the stake she had been carving. "Listen to me, you ungrateful little shampoo-stealing, whiny, smug bastard," she seethed, taking a frightening step closer with every syllable. "The pregnant chick hasn't complained as much as you, princess. So either you find those house… whatevers and ask them to save your ass, or you suck it up and deal with the fact that I'm the hero of this story."

A long, awkward silence reigned for several seconds that even Anya was terrified to break. Buffy slowly inched her face closer to the glaring wizard in front of her until their noses were nearly touching.

"You owe me a new stake. Start carving," she said with a smile as she tossed a knife on his lap.

With slightly superhuman speed, Buffy strode across the store, flung on her jacket, and headed for the door. "Going to kill some vamps!" she announced. As she reached for the handle, Spike flung the door open with the usual dramatic flourishes.

"Oh good. Apparently they're just delivering themselves now," quipped Buffy.

"Where's your mini me? We have plans. Some stupid shallow drama show. I hate it," he said too casually to be believed.

"I sent her to dad's. There's too much going on. I don't really want her around if there are portals opening again." The Slayer's eyes met Spike's, and animosity was replaced with a mutual understanding. Spike simply nodded, and headed towards his favorite chair near the center of the bunch. Buffy quietly left.

Giles did what he had always done best: Ignore incredibly awkward situations and move forward. "Um, as I was saying. The most important part of your question, the reason Sunnydale was your destination, comes down to two beliefs. You can choose to believe that you are here through mere misfortune. It is, well, a rather long tale, but not so long ago the walls of our world were weakened. Holes were ripped open to many strange worlds. Those tears have since been repaired, but it is much like any other wound. Our world will never truly be as well protected as it once was. The walls are thinner, and easier to penetrate. So perhaps you have arrived here simply because it was the easiest path for the spell to take." He paused, allowing everyone to ponder over this possibility.

"Why is this bunch always so depressing?" muttered the vampire as he attempted to light a cigarette.

"Why do you keep coming here?" Xander asked. Spike didn't bother responding. Like with children and dogs, he found ignoring the poor behavior taught the silly creature to stop.

James wrapped his arms around his wife and softly rubbed her tummy. "What's the second option?"

Giles smiled, glad to see that someone was listening. "Well, the other belief is a bit cheerier, in my opinion. Perhaps you arrived here because magic is ambivalent. Yes, it sent you away. But maybe it brought you to the one place with enough magic to send you back. I think it took you where you would have the best chance to receive assistance."

Anya, Xander, and Willow wrapped their arms around each other and gave their best, award-winning smile. "That would be us!"

Sirius balefully looked up from his carving to glance at the eager trio. He turned quietly to James and mock whispered, "I think I'll still look into that house elf idea."