05
One night, I went out of my window to sit on the Sunken Flagon's roof. I was grumpy because of the many questions that tortured. Why didn't Daeghun talk about my mother or father? It struck me that I hadn't any idea where I came from and what had happened to my family, or so to say creators. I wished to be more important for Daeghun, so maybe that way I wouldn't be so messed up about him. "What do I want anyway?"
My ears caught a faint noise behind. Quiet as it was, it had to be Neeshka.
"Whatcha doing Phael? You ok?"
"Yeah, thanks. I was just… thinking."
"Thinking'bout what?" The tiefling asked as she sat next to me.
I let the lie slide with a sigh. Since everything about the shards was getting more and more complicated, I could hide my emotional problem pretty well. "Oh…everything…"
"You look bad. Hey wait! I have exactly what you need." She started pulling things out of her belt pouch. Like me, Neeshka could stuff a lot of things into small containers. She picked something that looked like a big piece of cake and split it in half. "I stole it from Grobnar." She said with satisfaction while I shook my head. She explained the gnome was cooking those every morning before placing them carefully in his magic pouch – probably for the travels. Seems he was waking pretty earlier than the rest of us to use Duncan's kitchen.
"But Neesh, if you ask Gobnar, I'm sure he will be pleased to give you some." I exclaimed, to which Neeshka merely shrugged and bit in her piece.
"I didn't know Grobnar could cook like this." I said after a while. The cake was a delicious mix of apples, sugar, and sweet spices.
About thirty minutes after, we both started to feel way too relaxed and happy. We were lying on the roof and discussing with ease whatever passed by our minds while giggling for no reason. Neeshka said she often worked for strange people in order to get gold, but that it had always led to dangerous situations. She also spoke about her private life, which helped me open up a little.
I didn't say anything coherent though. My mouth produced half cut sentences that I myself couldn't really comprehend. I must have said something comprehensible at one moment though, because Neeshka got excited.
"Oh Hells! You're in love!" She poked me with her tail. "Tell me who it is! Please? Please please please?"
"I'm not in love at all! I can't be… I'm just…" I sighed. "You see, there is this… male. He just can't get out of my head and I'm getting sick of it."
"Well, you need a change of mind th… hey wait a minute!" Neeshka raised herself a little so she could have a better look at me. "You're not talking about that paladin are you?"
I puffed. "Are you mad? Of course it's not Casavir. I would screw his shiny aura only by brushing against." I stopped for a second when the picture of a naked paladin popped in my head. "But maybe I should consider getting occupied with someone who could erase D… the other."
"Ahh, need some random male company?" Neeshka asked teasingly. "I know every damn inn in Neverwinter, so you just need to ask." She grinned, showing off proudly her pointy canine. We burst in laughter again, but I told her I would have to think about it. After all, I did want to get laid since I had absolutely no sexual activity after seeing Daeghun naked.
Some time later during the night, we fell asleep in an almost cuddling position. We were both lying on our side, with Neeshka's tail wrapped around us. I have no idea for how long we slept, but we were rather groggy the next morning. Especially after we were waken up by almost everyone.
At first, we only heard strange noises, but when we lifted our head to see what was going on, we saw Khelgar through the room's window. Elanee, Casavir and Grobnar arrived as well. To our surprise, the druidess started giggling, followed shortly by Khelgar. It's only when we saw Casavir's uneasy look that we realized what was happening and joined in the laugh.
Grobnar was just smiling as usual, though I was sure he winked at Neeshka when they made eye contact. The tiefling opened her mouth in disbelieve, but stood silent.
At breakfast, things started to get funny. As you may guess, everyone wondered why Neeshka and I were sleeping on the roof, glued to the other. Elanee and Khelgar didn't suspect anything of course, but Casavir and Duncan were obviously perplexed, while Grobnar was grinning happily. "Ahh, manners."
Duncan spoke first, pulling me a little on the side so the others wouldn't hear. "Lass," he whispered uncomfortably, scratching his head every two seconds, "I don't mind your… personal… whatever it is. Just please don't do things on my roof."
"All right, let's enlighten you all, shall we?" I shook my head. "Neeshka and I were talking and only fell asleep out of tiredness. You're the one's having ideas." I made sure everyone noticed my gaze on both Duncan and Casavir while spelling the last word.
While the blushing paladin never made the slightest sound, Duncan became immediately defensive, insisting he didn't imply anything and only wanted us to be securely in our rooms at the night. I winked at him and promised to leave the roof alone.
I was about to turn away from the innkeeper, when I saw Neeshka making funny faces at me. I understood quickly and added before letting myself fall on the chair: "But even if something is happening between Neesh and me, I don't see how this would be anyone else' business." I made my most innocent smile.
With our precious gnome bard in charge of the entertainment, that story was soon known by a lot of people. Thankfully, the tail became so distorted from the truth that no one knew whom it was about at the end.
The situation became more suspect when Neeshka and I decided to go out at night together without letting anyone know what we were at – we wanted privacy to visit the brothels and inns.
About a week after we begun our night trips, Elanee approached us while the men were away. We were tired of running around for the watch, so Neeshka had convinced me to visit the brothel. There, she said we would probably find what we were looking for, for the other places we visited earlier were fruitless.
"Uhhhmmm, I know what you are doing tonight and…" Elanee whispered, careful so no one would hear. "I wandered if I can join you?"
I wasn't sure at all if she really knew where we were going, but this promised to be interesting. "Why of course you can. Tonight we are visiting the "Vanilla Spot."
"Yeah," Neeshka added, "but we definitely have to find something nice to put on you. No way you'll be going there dressed with this grey… horrible excuse of a dress! It looks old and I'm tired of seeing it."
I nodded in agreement with Neeshka, but Elanee smiled and said she already had what was needed. She promised it wasn't another grey robe, and the three of us laughed.
Because we had our cloaks on, it wasn't until we reached the house that we saw what the druidess had chosen to wear. The tiefling and I almost choked when we saw the delicate fabric of the short green dress our friend had on. It was some druid thing probably, made with different silky transparent layers and beautifully cut at the right non-symmetrical spots. We could see a little of everything that was necessary; ankles, arms, thighs, and almost her entire back. She was gorgeous.
"You're out of your mind! This is not some royal druid party… or whatever it is you do with that…!" Neeshka was shocked "Your dress is way too fancy for this place!"
"Oh, no worries, I made it myself so I can repair it if something happens."
"Well, I guess at least one of us is going to be successful." I shrugged at Neeshka's and my typical dark bodice and tight pants. We looked quite common next to our friend.
As usual, we proceeded by taking a table and ordering wine. The place was crowded with citizens of Neverwinter, traveling sailors and adventures like us. We drank and danced very late, till we agreed to meet the next morning in front of Sand's shop. The last thing I remembered before following the human I was dancing with, was a couple on my left – a gnome and a pretty red haired halfling. Somewhere further, Neeshka's tail was caressing the back of a guy she was charming before it stole his wallet. Another young half-elf was whispering things in Elanee's ear, and even if she looked to be enjoying it, one could tell she wasn't easy to get.
I woke up early the next morning and took my time observing the man next to me. "Couldn't it have been an elf for once?" Or half-something?" I sighed. He was handsome, muscular, and smelled pancakes. How? I have absolutely no idea.
His sleep was deep, yet soundless compared to what I was used to hear during the last month. He wasn't waking any soon, so I took the opportunity to dress and leave. I didn't want the "morning encounter" with a stranger.
Dressing mind-absently, I felt the awaited frustration rushing through my blood up to my face. My body shivered while I exhaled in order to keep calm. It hadn't anything to do with the sleeping human next to me, but with Daeghun.
I was used to be thinking about him a lot, but that night was worst than anything I had dealt with before. I couldn't concentrate at all on the moment with the ranger hunting my thoughts and I was scared of the question "what it would be like". Also, do I really need to tell you my body refused to be satisfied? Even between skillful hands… "Meh…"
I left without putting my cloak on and walked towards Sand's shop, forcing my face to look normal. Instead of the girls, a severe looking paladin greeted me.
Arms crossed on his mighty chest, Casavir wore a simple tunic rather than his usual full plate. The fabric revealed his shape well enough for others to admire, but I doubted the holy man suspected that.
I was about to giggle at the disapproving look on his face, till it reminded me of Daeghun and I frowned. Was he going to lecture me?
"What you're playing at isn't good for you my lady." He said reproachfully.
"Damn he's lucky I respect him so much!" I mentally smirked, but then it struck me how my nerves were on the edge of exploding. To contain myself, I chose sarcasm over bitching. "I wasn't aware of needing your opinion."
He was about to protest when Elanee and Neeshka arrived. The girls looked to be enjoying an interesting conversation, but became immediately serious as they saw Casavir.
"Not you as well Elanee?" The paladin's expression became desperate. "Why… no…"
"Oh cram it Casavir!" We heard Elanee hiss for the very first time. Neeshka and I stepped back a little while the druidess moved closer to him. "You're more stuck up than Alaron – just go get laid and leave me alone!" With that, she went towards the flagon.
Although he appeared furious, Casavir left without looking at us or saying more.
"Wow, did you see that?" Neeshka exclaimed. "His aura became almost grey for a second."
I blinked several times before being able to speak. "Did I miss something? What was that about? And who the hell is Alaron?"
"Well, I can't be sure, but it's probably a former lover of Elanee. Maybe the paladin's jealous?"
"Let's ask her directly ok." I pointed at the flagon.
When we arrived in the room, we found Elanee sitting on the window border and looking outside. She was calm as usual.
"Care to talk about it?" I took place next to her while Neeshka lay on her bed.
Elanee stretched with a sigh. "You remember that night you girls spent together? Well, I spent it with… Casavir."
"You what?" Neeshka choked.
"I didn't say I slept with him!" Elanee immediately corrected.
I decided to do the talking before Neeshka would ask other embarrassing questions. "I guess you two have some mutual understanding. You don't need to tell anyone if you don't wish Ela – we would understand." I emphasized the "we" and glanced at the tiefling.
"It's not that I don't want to talk about it – it's just not very clear." She answered. "That night we sort of… talked a lot. And I mean, a lot. Casavir and I seem to be very comfortable with each other since the very first time he joined with us… but well, being so comfortable is our problem as well."
"What do you mean?" Neeshka dared asking through nervous glances in my direction.
"Well we… can't part for too long, or our chest hurts."
"I'm sorry," I chook my head, "is this something elfish? Because I'm scared to suf… fer from the same thing… in the future I mean."
"I don't know Phael. Casavir and I both have the same reaction with him being human."
"But is there something between you two or not?" Neeshka got impatient.
"Not yet."
"But why did you come with us first place if you have something like this going on?" Neeshka's concern was almost warming. I never thought she could care so much – or that she was maybe romantic.
Elanee lowered her head before speaking. "We argued two days ago and I wanted to piss him off by my absence."
"What did you argue about?"
"Neeshka!" I hissed.
"It's ok." Elanee giggled. "I don't mind. Besides, I need to get it out of my chest." I nodded while Neeshka sat closer, showing she was all ears too. "It's obvious we have something for each other, but Casavir is too formal. He wants to take his time and plays the respectful gentleman too much. Plus, he keeps pushing me away when I try to make physical contact…" She added with a little groan.
"So you went to cool down because he's taking his time?" Neeshka was really offended.
"Hey what's wrong with you?" I frowned.
"Phael, you don't get it, so let me explain." Neeshka went defensive. "I know I don't look very trusty. And I'm not trusty, or almost… but anyway, Elanee is. And see, this is what I like about her – she is everything I am not, and probably will never be… unless I find a suitable male and calm down. I just don't want her to become like me, or I'll loose hope…"
"Errrr… I see." I said. Next to me, Elanee was laughing heartedly.
"I never thought I had that sort of influence over you." She said.
"Hey, you don't have any influence over me!" Neeshka protested.
"No problem. Thank you for that, I'll do my best not to disappoint you." She promised. Elanee then explained she never did anything but dance at the Vanilla spot. When she had finally arrived at a room with her companion, she had cast a sleeping spell on him and left the establishment. During the morning, she had joined Neeshka.
"But you never thought we would encounter him, right?" I said, to which Elanee shook her head. "Well, your best bet is to tell him the truth Ela." I suddenly whished to leave them and hide somewhere no one could find me. I also whished to have a frank conversation with Daeghun – one in which we wouldn't be hiding behind masks.
"You're absolutely right. I wasn't going to lie more anyway."
"But who's Alaron?" Neeshka asked.
"Oh… that was someone I used to date that Casavir knows about."
We spent the rest of the day together, till I left with the excuse of being exhausted. I needed to be alone badly. Luckily, everyone seemed occupied and Khelgar always drank till very late at night – or should I say morning – so I had plenty of time to let my emotional unstableness burst out without being bothered.
After sobbing for what seemed to be hours, I started wondering if I wasn't suffering from a similar disease Elanee and Casavir had. Only in my case, I was probably the only one affected.
I remembered when he told me to keep my curiosity away because I might see unwanted things, and smirked. How would Daeghun feel if he knew I was more curious than never? How would he feel if he knew I was attracted by him and wished to know everything there was to know?
I realized that before seeing him naked, Daeghun was nothing more than a background for me. Certainly not a man! I was ashamed it had taken me that to really notice his existence.
But then again, if it hadn't happened, I would've never cared for him. I certainly wouldn't have observed his facial expression, body language or the weight of his words. No, I had no regrets. It was the way things had to be…
