Author's Note: Harry Potter and the rest is to J.K. Rowling
Chapter Five
Sirius acting kind and considerate was Sirius acting out of character, and normally Remus would have been suspicious of the other boy. But right now, Remus was in something of a fix and he'd take all the help that he can. Even if Sirius apparently wasn't aware of the fact that he'd been helping Remus in the first place.
"Where are you going?"
Of course, there was also the fact that the other boy was being over-protective. Remus sighed, turning back to the common room before he could actually open the panel to get out.
"Prefects' meeting. Don't you dare suggest that you accompany me there."
"Mr. Padfoot thinks that ickle Moony-kins is being a tad mean," said Sirius. "Which is somewhat in bad form for the latter, since Mr. Padfoot had the best intentions in asking—"
"Shove it, Padfoot, I'm late enough as it is." Remus pushing the portrait of the Fat Lady open and stepping out of the Gryffindor common room hurriedly. James and Peter being suspiciously out of sight, he had the feeling that Sirius was just using the situation as an excuse to fight boredom.
"You'd be fine on your own, love?" Sirius called out, making some first year girls giggle over their homework. Unlike their older counterparts, the younger set were surprisingly frank about their reaction to Sirius and Remus' so-called relationship.
Remus didn't answer, swinging the portrait closed with a bang over the hole and making the Fat Lady squeak at him indignantly. Knowing Sirius, Remus was expecting the other boy to follow him anyway. So when he heard the portrait swing open again, he turned around fully prepared to give the other boy a piece of his mind.
"I thought I told—"
"Remus?" Lily Evans was looking at him with a smile hovering over her lips, one eyebrow raised quizzically. "Is something wrong?"
"Lily!" said Remus, blushing. "Sorry. I thought you were someone else."
"I could imagine," Lily said, with a wry laugh. "I told him I'd walk with you if that would make him feel better, so unless you want to make a liar out of me…."
"I owe you my sanity, then," said Remus.
"Hm, I didn't think it was as bad as all that," Lily observed.
"Am I that obvious?" He wasn't too worried where Lily was concerned, though. Being the sort of girl not usually seen even in such an excellent place as Hogwarts, Remus knew that if he could trust his secret to any girl, that girl would be Lily Evans. It wasn't surprising for James to fall for such a girl, anyway.
"I don't think anyone else has noticed. But you are supposed to be going out with each other, right? What's the problem, then?"
Remus found himself blushing a deeper shade of red and feeling absurdly glad that there were just the two of them in the hallways.
"It's not really anything like that."
"Well, what's it like, then?"
Remus said nothing for several seconds, putting on what the rest of the Marauders called his 'game face', used usually to mask very quick thinking. Having gone far enough just to spy on James and Lily's first date, Remus didn't think giving the game up was still an option.
"It's a dare, actually. A sort of bet."
"Hm," said Lily. She stopped walking, bracing one hand against the mullioned windows and looking outside. "Are you sure you are all right, Remus?"
Remus knew there was no way for Lily to tell just how guilty he was feeling for making her worry over such a mental thing, the thought didn't help make him feel less like a git, however.
"They're really not so bad, you know. They just get carried away once in a while," he said. "It's just that everyone thinks they're so cool, and it's hard not to let all that admiration get to your head, right?"
"You're being too kind," said Lily, dryly. "But you're their friend, so I guess you see them in a different way. They wouldn't hex you for the heck of it, would they?"
"You have no idea, Lily," said Remus, remembering the fight the Marauders had when Sirius had told Snape how to get into the Shrieking Shack one night of the full moon. "I'm not really making excuses for them. You're right, they are my friends and they stand by me even though I—" He let his voice trail off.
"I guess they're not really as bad as all that," said Lily.
Remus breathed a sigh of relief. He can't believe he almost told Lily Evans that he was a werewolf. He should warn James to keep his wits about him around the girl. Not that James would ever think of anything else (like his lowly friends) when he's with Lily.
"You really should give James a chance, you know," Remus put in, slowly. "Not that I'm telling you what to do and all, it's just that—well, maybe he'd shut up if you actually agree to go out with him or something."
"Did he put you up to this?" said Lily, with a small smile. She had turned back to look at Remus, but the shadows thrown off by the lamps and candles strewn around the hallway hid most of her face from view.
"He wouldn't need to," said Remus.
"You know, Remus, you should start thinking about your own feelings instead of other people's."
"Which means?" said Remus, betraying nervousness for the first time. He'd always thought Lily Evans could have a go at replacing McGonagall in the future.
"What about thinking about Sirius Black?" Lily nodded at Remus, gesturing that they should start walking again. They were going to be really late for the prefects' meeting, but it being the first time they'd played hooky, neither of them thought it would make much of a difference.
"I told you, it was just a bet," said Remus.
Lily laughed. "Then you better remind him of that fact."
"What do you mean?" said Remus.
"It means that we're more similar than we think," said Lily. She wouldn't say any more, even though Remus kept asking her to the point of being something of a pest. He was starting to remind himself of Sirius.
Great. Not only do they have to 'come out' to the rest of Hogwarts, they were acting like each other, too.
*
James and Peter got back to the dorm some minutes after Remus had left the common room. Loaded with several bottles of butterbeer and some chocolate pudding, they jumped all over Sirius' bed and demanded to know the latest.
"What do you mean?" said Sirius, who was too bored to make a witty reply.
"The purpose of our going away for food being to leave you and Mr. Moony alone," Peter began. "Mr. Prongs and I would like to inquire as to the developments—"
"There were no developments, as you so elegantly put it, Mr. Wormtail, since Mr. Moony had to go away to a prefect's meeting before I could even say 'Merlin's frilly knickers'." Sirius began attacking the chocolate pudding like it was a personal affront.
"Nobody really says that," said James. "And don't take it out on the food if you're slow, mate."
"Who are you calling slow, Potter?"
"Well, it's just a couple of days before Valentine's and nothing's happened yet, according to yourself. But I'm sorry for jumping at conclusions, Padfoot."
"Fuck off."
"Wake up and smell the butterbeer, Black," said James, waving his own bottle around in front of Sirius. "You're just as bad as me about Evans when it comes to Lupin, so don't try to act like you're any different."
If Sirius had been in his dog form then, he would have growled at James and shown his fangs. Since he wasn't, and he didn't relish shedding on his own bed, he opted for the iciest treatment he was capable of. "Pardon?"
"Don't go all Black and mighty on me," said James, unperturbed. "So you're in love with your best friend. What's the big deal?"
"Maybe because ickle Moony-kins doesn't love him back?" said Peter, sweetly.
Sirius fought the very strong urge to strangle the small boy on the spot.
"May I inquire as to how Mr. Prongs and Mr. Wormtail arrived at such a conclusion?"
"Well," said James, gamely. He settled down on Sirius' bed like someone who had been waiting to be asked this for a long time and had already planned the scene out in his head. "You were always looking at him when we were in the first year, right?"
"I was?" said Sirius.
"He was?" said Peter, giggling.
"Yeah. We followed him in the train, right? So we could get to know him better. And that's how you found out he was a werewolf in the first place. You won't leave him alone." James smirked.
"That was because he looked so damned scared all the time. I was just being nice," said Sirius. The first time he'd seen Remus Lupin, the latter barely stood taller than Peter himself, looking at everything from behind his too-long fringe and his own shyness. "Some Slytherin berks were making fun of him. I wasn't just going to stand there, right?"
"He more than showed himself capable of protecting himself, though," said Peter, remembering. "No one better than Lupin at Charms. Except maybe Evans."
"What else?" said Sirius, before James could get onto the subject of Evans. "Understand that I'm not buying any of this, Potter. I just want to hear the rest."
"You worry more about him than you worry about anyone else, even yourself," James went on.
"Come to think of it, it was your idea for us to turn into Animagi!" Peter said, with dawning realization.
"How many people can say they'd been running around with a werewolf?" said Sirius. "Why don't you think with your brains instead of your—"
"So we became Animagi. You turned into a dog."
"It's not like I can choose the form I'm going to take, can I?"
"No, but that's only half of the story, right?" said Peter. "For all we know, you're burning desire to be with Moony—running around with him at night, as you say—has resulted into your turning into this animal form that greatly resembles Remus himself."
"Then I should have turned myself into a wolf and not a dog! And I didn't say that 'running around' thing like that."
"Full of lust, you mean?" said James, who couldn't help but dissolve into helpless laughter. "Just admit it, Black. You're smitten and you didn't even know it."
"I didn't—" Sirius began. Then, realizing that it was a battle he was never going to win, he sighed. "Think what you want then. It has nothing to do with our bet, anyway. And can you get your hands off that pudding?"
"You already ate yours," Peter pointed out.
"Yeah. But ickle Moony-kins still hasn't had any yet and I'm saving it all for him." Sirius grabbed as much food as he could comfortably carry and placed them on top of his trunk, daring the rest of the Marauders to say anything about it.
"Oy! We bought that food, for your information, from Honeydukes. Miles and miles away from here, you can't imagine the leg cramps. And I thought we were going to stop the 'Let's bully Peter away from his share' routine," said Peter, all thoughts of romance between his friends forgotten as soon as someone mentioned food.
"Too bad, mate." Sirius took note of James' smirk, but then again, who cares about his git friends if Remus smiles at him like he did back there in the library? And bullying Peter just happened to be a happy bonus.
*
The Marauders were eating dinner down at the Great Hall when Sirius realized something. It was as plain as the nose on his face, actually, and he wondered why he hadn't thought about it before.
"Moony," he said, turning towards Remus, who was sitting beside him.
"Don't talk with your mouth full," said Remus, brushing crumbs from his shoulder.
"You know, Moony, I—"
"Yes?"
Sirius took note of the fact that Remus' eyes were the color of tea with milk, which was irrelevant to his realization, but still seemed important somehow.
"I think I'm in love—"
"You are? Splendid, mate! Such perfect news to make my day!" James piped in. He was leaning across the table to hear Sirius better, getting some of the sauce from the pot roast on his sleeves. Peter's eyes bulged out of their sockets, and he was looking around to see if anyone else was listening.
"With Edith Blewett!" Sirius finished.
"With," said James.
"Edith," said Peter.
"Blewett?" said Remus, faintly. The other boy's face hovered between expressions of surprise and amusement. Sirius had the feeling that Remus would very much like to collapse into nervous, hysterical laughter except that he was Remus Lupin and Remus Lupin didn't do such things.
"Yes. Edith Blewett, fourth year Ravenclaw, you know," said Sirius, briskly. "Charming woman. The love of my life."
"Bollocks!" said James.
Remus turned to face James with a frown on his face, but he said nothing. Sirius on the other hand, reached out to grab his best friend's arm.
"Sirius, that hurts," said Remus, softly.
"Don't!" Sirius barked out. His chest felt like there was a Bludger loose in it, and he had the unbelievable urge to burst into tears. He wondered if that was how love felt like, and why everyone's making so much fuss over it, unpleasant feeling that it was.
"Don't what? Sirius, are you okay?" Remus leaned over, looking scared now. He reached out, touching Sirius' hand, which was still on his arm even though the grip wasn't as strong as before. "You look... er, terrified."
"I don't know," whispered Sirius.
"I think he needs to go to the Infirmary," said Peter. "Looks pretty green, if you ask me."
"Such a colourful life, Black," quipped James.
Remus stood up, still holding Sirius' hand. "I think Peter's right. Let's go, Sirius."
Sirius tried to regroup. He'd never heard of anyone being sent to Madam Pomfrey on account of falling in love. Imagining how Regulus was going to relate the incident to their mother was making him as nauseated as he apparently looks. "I'm fine. Just... Edith Blewett, you know?"
"Yes, Padfoot," said Remus. He smiled. "You'll see her anytime you want to, anyway. Let's go?"
Siris nodded, then considered what he'd done. "Wait! No, we won't go. Damn it, Moony, don't confuse me!"
"I wasn't."
"Hopeless wally," said James, who was looking pretty green himself from holding back his laughter. Some of the other Gryffindors were looking up from their plates and at the Marauders. No one was paying much attention, though, since the Marauders have always been known to raise a big fuss in the Great Hall whenever they felt like it.
"What have you done, James?" said Remus, quietly.
"Nothing!" said James, holding his hands up. "Hell, Moony, why do you have to accuse me of every—"
"Because I can't very well accuse Sirius of hexing himself, right?" said Remus, justifiably. "Did you make him eat something, or—" His voice trailed off. Sirius looked up to see that Remus was wearing the game face.
"I'm not bewitched, Moony, unless you consider being smitten by Edith's lovely face bewitched. Which makes sense, once you think about it," said Sirius. "Do I have to be hexed to say that I love somebody?"
"Yes," said Peter and Remus.
James laughed before answering, "Yes."
"Fine, fine—"
"If you're really fine, Sirius, why haven't you let go of my hand yet?" said Remus. "I can't feel my fingers anymore."
Sirius looked down, opening his mouth to argue that it was Remus who had held his hand in the first place. When he saw the palest violet tinge to Remus' skin where Sirius was holding him tightly, Sirius began to change his mind.
"Okay. I think I'm not so fine, after all."
Afterword: It was cut in such an awkward moment, huh? Sorry about that. This is all going to make sense later on, I promise! Or have you figured it out already?
