OMFG, guys! I totally am in LOVE with this story, 'cause I love Havoc. But I've been trying to write one chapter every two days. That means nine to ten pages...Not gonna happen, 'cuz I'm a procrastinator.

Note: I know a LOT of details are off in this story, but bear with me. I haven't noticed some of them until later. When I'm done with this, I will most likely get the details straight before I post a sequel.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN FMA. I OWN THE MYSTERIOUS DESIGN, MY OC, BUT NOTHING ELSE!

Enjoy~!

Thank God For...

(A FullMetal Alchemist story)
*Chapter Four: A useless walk, isn't it?*

I rested in a chair, legs crossed and a book in my hands, next to Teapot and in front of Riza in an empty desk. It wasn't my desk, actually, but one that was just there to look nice or something. I could hear the rain pouring down outside as I studied a book Riza had lent me.

Kain Fuery/Harry Potter (as I had dubbed him) was kneeling on the ground with the still-homeless pup, feeding the said pup some milk. The blond first Lieutenant sat across from me, reading 'Truth' because of her spare time. Jean, Squint, and Teapot were just looking bored in their own desks.

"Battle assessment?" Questioned the man nearest to the floor. "Sounds weird." Teapot looked up from his grubby nails. I abandoned my own reading at this current point, watching the passing of words between military men.

"Does the army really do that," asked the red-head. Jean leaned back in his chair, placing his hands behind his head in a fashion I thought as cute and rebellious. Kain looked up from the puppy to the others.

"Yeah," said the blond/brunette man, "sometimes the alchemists go up against each other in a mock battle and they're graded on how they use their skills." I looked up from my book at the others, but Riza continued reading. Although it was semi-obvious that she was listening in, as well.

"I just think it's weird that Ed actually requested it," Jean continued. Teapot returned with a slight chuckle in his voice,

"Yeah, and picking the Colonel. That's a heck of an opponent to take by choice." He thought about it for a moment. "Seriously, though, who do you think would win, if they were both really giving their all?" Kain didn't hesitate to answer this.

"Are you kidding, it's gotta be the Flame!" He sounded a bit anxious to see this fight, just to be proved correct. Jean puffed out some smoke from the cigarette that never seemed to leave his mouth while Harry Potter stood up, holding the black-and-white puppy in his arms.

"I don't know, you can't count out FullMetal, either." I looked over at the man that had found me in the shower less than forty-eight hours ago. "The kid's a hero in this region. Then again, when you think about all the stories of Mustang during the rebellion..."

"But why would Ed propose this to begin with, it's so risky." At this point in the conversation between them, Riza inputted her knowledge.

"I heard it was for a cat," she said, not looking up from her book. All five of us turned our heads to her. "The conditions are that if Ed wins, Mustang has to take care of it." Kain looked a bit down.

"A cat?" he said with a bit of a quiver in his voice. "I guess that's bad news for this guy; I was hoping the Colonel would take him." Both the dog and the man holding it sighed. The poor things...

A door opened, and the five of us looked up while Riza returned to reading her book. Roy stood in the doorway, letting out a little growl of annoyance. He ambled over to Fuery, who let out a gulp of slight fear.

"Sir?" Asked the shortest man before he had the puppy in his hands stolen away by Mustang. The said pup let out a small whine as it was raised into the air above the tall Colonel. He looked like murder was about to fall upon everyone.

"Dog, huh?" There was a short pause before the man's serious scowl turned into a giddy grin. "I love dogs!" Fuery's eyes lit up and he stepped forward, obviously happy.

"Really?" He said, almost skeptically. "You mean it?!"

"Of course!" Mustang replied, turning back around to face the shorter man. "Dogs embody loyalty, they follow their master's commands above all else! Be a jerk to them and they don't complain and they never once beg for a paycheck! Trust me, Fuery, they're the great servants of man! Loyal canine, how we salute thee!" All the while he said these things, he was doing what I would now and forever call 'the doggy dance'. Afterwards, he let out a long, maniacal laugh.

Poor Harry Potter looked horrified as he was frozen in his spot, slowly paling from this encounter with the taller man.

"Well you're awfully manic today, sir," Jean said. I looked up from my book and over at the scene. "I figured that challenge would worry you some." Mustang abandoned his evil towards the dog and returned to his serious composition (despite the fact he was still smiling). He turned to face Jean.

"Come on, the Fuhrer knows it wouldn't be fair with me against the kid. I'd love to show off my valor, but there's no way he's going to allow it." I sighed and closed the book I had abandoned reading.

"Don't count your chickens before they hatch, sir," I said. He finally looked over at me with a 'when-did-you-get-here' look. "Trust me, it always comes to the opposite composition. And then what you had originally planned gets blown up in your face. Then you try lots of pills at the-." I noticed all had their eyes on me. I let out a nervous laugh while a blush started creeping over my face.

"What?" I said, rubbing the back of my head, sheepishly.

"Lots of pills?" Jean said, his voice kind of strained and a raised eyebrow of actual concern turned my way. I looked at the desk in front of me.

"Just a one-time thing, y'know? The blades weren't working, so I tried something else. Hey, did the rain stop? I think it did!" I spoke quickly, staring out the window.

"No," said Squint slowly. "It's still pouring outside. Now what do you mean by pills?"

I sighed, "Fine. I mean that I tried suicide back in High School. Nothing big, really. No one would have missed me except for...Well, he died anyway. Too suicidal for our own good..." I stared at my vaguely interesting hands.

Silence accompanied my words. No one spoke, because they were most likely afraid of the 'little-girl-who-cried-and-cut-herself' thing or they thought you could catch depression like you would a cold. I knew I was a moron! How could I let something so personal slip?! And to people I had only known for a small while! God, I was such an idiot!

I heard a chair scraping across the floor and footsteps. I didn't dare look up, for I knew what was coming. I didn't want to be hit, but I shrunk back to try and protect myself from the wrath of someone's hand.

"Maddison," Jean said while he grew nearer. "Don't ever say those things." When he was next to me (I could tell by his polished boots next to my chair) his tan-ish, calloused hand wiped away a tear from my cheek. When it had gotten there, I didn't know.

I closed my eyes and turned away from him, still cautious about what to say.

"It was nothing," I lied, keeping my composure in the time. "It never was. Just forget I ever said anything." He didn't move though. Instead, he placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

I sighed and turned my head back to smile at him. He looked so peaceful to me, like he really didn't care and was happy that I was, indeed, still alive.

"You're lying," he said, bluntly. "Your eyes say so."

"I may be, but my life is not really something that should be told in some sort of storybook." The man smirked at me, obviously knowing that there was a lot more than that.

"Let's go for a walk," he said, grabbing onto my forearm and practically dragging me out of my chair. "I'll have her back by sundown, Lieutenant Hawkeye, sir. Don't worry, you know I'll take good care of her!"

"Hey," I cried as he started pulling my half-walking, half-stumbling body towards the door. "Don't I get a say in this?!" He continued on, a smirk showing between his cigarette.

"Nope, now hurry up!" My cries could probably be heard all over the floor as Jean pulled me out the door of the office we had been in. In fact, a few heads looked out some doors as we passed.

"Jean!" I whined, pouting slightly. "Let go, dammit!" He would just chuckle and continue on. I decided that an easier tactic would be to not stumble as much, out of truthful fear of falling.

He led me down the same stairs that only fifteen minutes before I had went up with Riza. These stairs were very difficult to go down when I was being pulled like a maniac at a pace that even my roommate couldn't keep up with.

Where could the man be taking me? Could he possibly just be going for a walk with me or could it be for a completely other reason? I shivered, hoping it was just for the former and not the latter, for it was less scary.

"Jean?" I said when we finally stepped onto the first floor. His pace slowed a tiny bit to the point where I was at a basic jog not to trip and looked back at me. "Do we have to sprint? Seriously, I did less running in Track back in High School!" He smiled and slowed his half-jog down to a normal walk that I could keep up with.

Then I noticed something; his hand and slid from the middle of my forearm down to where he was firmly gripping my hand. My heart skipped a few beats and my face heated up to a very interesting shade of tomato red.

I noticed the large contrast in our skin colors as I stared down to our interlocked fingers. It was so fantastic, the fact that his olive complexion was completely natural and that mine was just so pale. He probably spent more time in the sun than I did.

I casually used the hand that wasn't in his grip to scoot out my other mentioned hand. Jean realized what I was doing (and hopefully he didn't get the wrong impression, I did like him!) and his face turned about the same shade. I coughed in nervousness.

"So where is this brilliant walk going to take us?" I asked, enthusiastically trying to steer away from the tiny little incident. He noticed my steerage and (metaphorically) went along for the ride. He thought for a second.

"Out," he replied, a simple yet sly smirk on his lips. I glared at him for a moment.

"And where would that happen to be?" He let out a breath of intoxicating (yet incredibly sexy!) smoke that smelled really nice to me. Needless to say, it was very hard for me not to reach up and grab it away from him and take a drag or two. He kept the smirk around his wonderful cigarette and said nothing.

I crossed my arms over my chest and looked up to him. I actually was tall enough to where my chin was about to his shoulder in height, so I really couldn't say I was an intimidating sight. He chuckled slightly to himself and slightly aloud before turning down another hall. We passed two familiar doors and my face must have flushed ten billion different shades of pink.

"So, Maddison," Jean said, "you ever smoked before?" I thought over my High School years before giving him a smirk of my own.

"Now wouldn't you like to know?" I paced a little quicker, walking before him in a few steps. He quickened his own walk to keep up with me and I snickered silently to myself. He raised an eyebrow as his smirk faltered and turned to a discontented frown.

"Yes," he drawled, "I actually would like to know if you could handle it before I offer you anything." I sighed melodramatically, but nodded all the same. He made it all too tempting.

"I don't believe you." I winced at his words. Way too tempting. In fact...

I moved quickly and stole his burning cigarette from his lips and put it between my own pair, taking a slow drag. He looked down at me with slight disbelief before taking out another from his pocket and lighting it with his military-blue lighter. I let out the drag I had taken, sighing, in love with the feel it brought me.

I never really understood why I had quit back in High School. The feel of the warm, black smoke traveling down and filling my lungs to an extent was addicting. It cleared my head a bit and brought my confusion to a painless stop.

Personally, I couldn't think of any truthful reason besides the fact that my parents had a say in it. That's most likely the reason...

And I doubt I would've wanted to go to military school or anything like that. Though it most likely would've been a lot better than Freshman year in College. That had been a living hell...

"Believe me, now?" I let out another breath of the smoke and his own smirk returned.

"I don't think I have a choice, do I?" I shook my head 'no' and took the said cigarette out of my mouth, holding with two fingers.

"Surprising, ain't it?" I chuckled to myself, trying to look like a sexy vixen towards him. I couldn't hold the look on my face of attempt for more than a few seconds before bursting out in giggles. He raised an eyebrow at my form before shaking his head to rid of whatever thoughts he had in his mind.

"Everything is a surprise with you, Maddison." I raised the cigarette to my lips as we passed two girls that seemed very familiar. They did a double-take and smiled towards Jean before giving me a look like I was a slut.

I just smirked evilly to myself, winking at them when Jean wasn't looking. They gave me an even worse look, but I wasn't faltered. I knew them. Just like in High School, they were the sluts of the joint. I could tell from their eyes and how they looked at Jean as if he was some sort of...prize.

"Of course it is," I said, my smile leaving my face and being replaced with a slightly snobbier look. I raised my nose up a bit. "That's why I'm so awesome. You know it's true, no?" I smirked once again with the cigarette letting off a small stream of smoke that floated upward to the sky.

Jean shook his head to rid of something in his thoughts, before he smiled to himself in a snarky way that scared me of his next actions.

"I can say one thing, though," he mused, more-so to himself than me. "You definitely aren't like normal girls." I scoffed, inhaling a bit more smoke in the process.

"If I am normal, then I have irises the color of mountaintops and strands of hair the shade of your sapphire eyes!" I blushed a bright shade of pink at my statement, but the man next to me didn't notice, because he went on with the conversation.

"I guess that you're not, then?" I shook my head, signaling that he was right and I really wasn't normal.

"Explains a lot, doesn't it?" I took another drag of the cigarette that had once been his and let out the smoke after a few seconds. He laughed to himself and I punched him in his arm.

"Well," he said, still slightly snickering, "normal girls don't appear in other people's showers." I hit him on the arm again, grumbling something inaudible.

"At least you know my hair is dyed," I countered, an evil grin taking place of the earlier smirk. "I, on the other hand, still have no idea if your drapes match your carpet." He blushed and rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. I had him.

Suddenly, he rushed forward to a door and opened it for me. I chuckled to myself a bit, looking out the door to see the rain pouring.

"Trying to say something, Jean?" He just gestured for me to go right ahead and I blushed. But I kept my head held high, pulling him by his collar out with me. "You're not getting out of this that easily. C'mon, tiger."

When we entered the outside, the pouring rain pelted us instantly. I felt my grin slowly turn to a softer, kinder smile as the blond/brunette behind me protested silently as his cigarette was put out by the many raindrops. I threw mine to the paved ground, stepping it out with my boot's toe. I kept a hold of Jean's collar, not ready to give him the chance to go back inside.

He's the one who wanted to walk, dammit.

The tall man had thrown his now-dead cigarette to the pavement and was looking at me like I was a moron. He was soaked straight through to the bone, his usually-poofy bangs sagging a bit under the weight of the pouring rain. I giggled slightly to myself.

I let go of his collar and walked a bit slower for a more comforting effect.

"Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" I spoke, breaking the silence as best as I could. "Though it's kind of cold..." I shivered a tiny bit for effect as Jean continued walking beside me.

Now that I thought about it, this man looked a lot better when he was smoking a cigarette. I mean, he had the whole 'bad boy' thing about him when he was inhaling the gorgeous toxins, but without it he was just as cute, but with a bit more innocent feel about him.

"Where do you think we should go?" Questioned the tall man beside me, looking up at the glum, cloudy sky out of boredom. I did a double-take in disbelief.

"Well, we could just walk around until the rain stops and then we could share a shower..." I flashed him an evil grin as he blushed an interesting shade of pink. "Though it's not like you haven't seen me after one already. I mean, I got to see half of you, but you saw quite a bit of me..." His face was now more of a tomato-y color, which made me burst out laughing, more or less because of the looks people we passed were giving us.

"Maddison," Jean said, in a bit of a mixed warning/embarrassed tone, "what are you planning?"

"Nothing," I assured him, my laugh slowly tuning to a snicker. "I'm only joking with you. You gotta get to know me before we do anything like that, y'know?" His face slowly turned to its normal shade as he went off on a different topic.

"So you want to be a teacher, huh?" I nodded, a small blush on my face. "That's cool, I guess. Not many people have the patience to do that sort of thing."

"Well, I do. I love children, though I probably won't ever be able to have any..." I trailed off, my hand rubbing my stomach sadly. The blond/brunette man looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"How did you manage that?" I bit my lip to avoid whatever tears that wanted to spill out.

"When I had to get my stomach pumped of the pills, they found an infection in one of my fallopian tubes and they had to rid of it before it could kill me, which got rid of the eggs a normal girl has. Instead of the one-in-seven chances that most women have, I've got a one-in-fourteen chance. It's not fair, really..." Jean looked sympathetic towards me and he undid some buttons on his military-issued jacket. He shrugged out of the sopping-wet thing before wrapping it around my slightly shivering form.

I looked up at him, surprised at this show of kindness towards me. He was just looking ahead, his expression unreadable to me. I rested my head lightly on his arm, pulling the jacket close around my body. If he wanted to pull away, he sure didn't act like it-because he moved his arm to where it was wrapped around me, almost as if we were a couple.

Almost being the keyword.

'How am I getting home?' I thought to myself, frowning a little. Even if I was in the warmth of this man's arms during a cold rain storm, it didn't mean that everything would be all right. I had finals soon, and I would have to get back before those so I wouldn't fail my sophmore year! I really didn't need that.

Sighing to myself, I looked up to the man that I was so close to. I wondered what he was thinking at that moment. Could he be wanting to push me away and run off, never to be seen again? Or could he be thinking of what to say next in this awkward conversation.

Dammit, why the hell was I such an idiot?! He obviously didn't want to know I couldn't have kids. That was bad move number-one in the Dummies Guide to Dating handbook! How stupid was I?! I couldn't believe my mouth!

"That sucks," Jean said, bluntly put. I nodded as he pulled me a bit closer to his warmth. Then he gave a look like he had just oh-so-suddenly thought of something.

"C'mon, I know where we can go." He paced a bit faster, a smirk replacing the sympathetic look he had only just taken up. I struggled to keep up and keep next to him. Damn, how could he be so fucking quick?!

"Where are we going?" I asked, only to receive no answer. I scowled in frustration, annoyed at being left in the dark. "Fine, fine. I'll wait and see." I kept his jacket wrapped snugly around my shivering and soaked form.

The rain still came down on this city in dark, cold sheets of gloom. It made me want to go inside somewhere, just to sit by a fire with a warm towel wrapped around me. That would be nice, actually. Just sitting with Jean, talking over many a-things, with the dry feeling of being out of the rain and near a fire...That sounded nice, really.

The two of us passed an older couple, who looked at us with curious eyes. I smiled at them and waved, all the while somehow getting closer to the man next to me. The older woman smiled at me with her smile and her mountaintop irises, her wrinkles showing that all of her years in life were worth it. She had no obvious pupils, signaling she was blind. Although the man was holding her hand in his, whispering things to her that I couldn't make out.

The man was bald and wrinkled, with his hand in hers as if life depended on it. He looked at us like we wouldn't last, but there was a slight sparkle of hope in his pale green eyes. He looked like he truly loved the woman next to him. I smiled at him as well, hoping he would get that I liked the blond/brunette man next to me, but he probably didn't return the feelings.

"Maddison?" I looked up at the Second Lieutenant, a curious expression on my face. "Why did you try to kill yourself?" I shrugged, like we were talking about simple algebra instead of me nearly killing myself.

"No one would've missed me," I said, sighing. "Besides, I had nothing at that point in my life. No home, no love, no feelings, and not even a single bit of care from my parents were my reasons for suicide."

"That's crazy," Jean stated. "If you had died, then we never would have met."

"But then we wouldn't be walking through the rain to a place you haven't told me of yet."

"But then we wouldn't be about to go inside."

"But then we wouldn't be arguing about almost nothing."

"But then I wouldn't have to point out that we are not fighting."

"But then you'd still be smoking."

"But then you'd be in hell or some other place."

"But then I wouldn't have to tell you I'm not that religious."

"But then you would be either underground or dust in the wind." I had to stop and think for a second.

"I have boobies, so I win." I smirked up at him, a victorious gleam sparkling in my mixed-colored eyes. The man next to me just gave an odd look down at me, as if he barely got the joke. I giggled at his expression, but he just looked up while turning a corner again.

I couldn't know where he was taking me and I was scared of that. Could he be about to do something horrible to me? Or could he be bringing me to a warm fire with a nice towel and free umbrellas?

"Here's the place," Jean said, suddenly stopping in front of a dark blue shop-looking place. I looked up at a small, soggy wooden sign that read in faint green letters:

'Fiery Pub'

This was the pub that Riza and I had went to only the night before. Holy coincidence!

The blond/brunette man removed his arm from around my shoulders before knocking three times on a dark window nearest the door. The black curtain behind the said window moved, Sam's kind face appearing, and when he saw Jean (with me, no less!) he immediately opened the door.

I gave a 'can-you-believe-it' look to the bartender when the Second Lieutenant took his blue jacker from around my shivering form and hung it on a dry wooden rack.

The older, bald man just smiled at me and nodded.

"Sam," I said, erasing my look and shivering, "do you have a fire or something? It's freezing out there." Jean re-wrapped his arm around me and held me slightly close for warmth. I stepped back a bit in surprise, only succeeding in getting closer to him.

My face turned an interesting shade of pink, but it was not warm. In fact, you could have called it the coldest blush in the history of blushing.

"Aye," Sam said, nodding at what my blush said, "I 'ave a fire fer ya two. C'mon, an' we will-a dry ya off."

Oh, thank God for this man and the warmth of a long, nice fire!