Chapter 2
Sara sat in her car with absolutely drained of energy; 30 minutes ago Catherine had kissed her in the locker room! That kiss had been the surprise of the century.
Thinking about the last few weeks after Catherine had asked her out for a drink to take her mind of her latest mistake - this one called Hank. She had begun to realise that perhaps Catherine Willows wasn't the arrogant, self absorbed, irritating, obnoxious, evil queen bitch of the universe. Actually very strange feelings had been invading her body every time she was near Catherine and she had been having very inappropriate thoughts about her female co-worker. Sara had always thought that Catherine was a beautiful woman, but these feelings were more than appreciating the beauty of a fellow co-worker. She had noticed that Catherine had changed these last couple of weeks she seemed distant and preoccupied with something, the guys thought that she had met a new guy and wasn't telling, that day in the meeting room when Greg had teased her and said she was in love. Catherine looked almost panicky, Sara knew it was true. And suddenly she felt her whole world collapsing around her. "Why was this affecting her like this, could it be that she had feelings for Catherine?"
Every time Catherine had touched her when making a point or accidentally brushed up a long site of her when they were working a scene, what felt like electricity had run through Sara's body, and she was terrified that Catherine could sense it. She couldn't look at Catherine when they were discussing a case, afraid that she would get lost in those blue eyes and make a huge ass of herself in the process.
But yesterday it had all gotten too much for Sara and when Catherine had disagreed with her about a case. Sara had completely overreacted sending them into one of their famous arguments starting in the hall way and this one ending in the locker room. She remembered that she had advanced on Catherine totally invading her personal space and suddenly Catherine seemed to lose track of the argument. All of a sudden Sara felt soft lips on her own and she froze. The kiss although very brief had steered deep feelings inside of Sara. Firstly, disbelief that it was actually happening, then amazement and then finally a feeling of absolute bliss and belonging and then abruptly it was over. And before she could think clearly, Catherine had apologised profusely and then the ultimate blow "I don't even like you that much!"
The horrible realisation, that she was in love with Catherine Willows dawned on her. If she sat very still she could almost hear the sound of her heart breaking. "Sara Sidle you fool, being in love with the world's straightest woman is just sooo stupid". She couldn't risk anybody seeing her this broken, so she started the car and drove out of the parking lot. She had a six pack in the fridge and her pack of "open only if the world is coming to an end" cigarettes - it had to do.
Seeing Catherine in the morning would be absolute torture.
The next day Catherine was running late, the team was already in the meeting room and Grissom was handing out assignments.
"Play it cool Catherine, just don't look at her!"
Grissom looked over his glasses "Catherine, how good of you to come! You and Sara have a DB in the dessert"
Nooo why today of all days!! Shit, shit!
Everybody else left the meeting room and it was only Catherine and Sara left and the silence was deafening.
Okay time to take the bull by the horns! "Look Sara about yesterday!"
Catherine locked eyes with Sara and she completely forgot what she was saying, Sara looked broken and extremely uncomfortable, actually she looked as bad as Catherine felt.
"Sara I don't know what came over me, I completely lost my mind, I didn't get much sleep the night before and .. I… I think it was stress.. I.. I'm sorry it won't happen again I promise!"
"That's great Catherine real eloquent! She is really going to believe that stress and sleep deprivation is a good explanation for kissing a co-worker in the locker room in that case the entire grave yard shift should be walking around with a smile on their face!"
Sara got up from her chair and fidgeted with the hem of her blouse.
"Look Catherine I eh, this is awkward okay, so can we not talk about it again, I mean it didn't really matter to me, you apologised, so lets just leave it ok?"
Sara left the room and Catherine suddenly felt small and alone.
"Great Catherine you have completely embarrassed her and what small hope you had of her having some kind of feelings for you are know completely shattered"
Sara was back in the parking lot waiting for Catherine to join her in the Denali.
"So I lied, told her the kiss didn't matter. She is properly relieved that I'm not going to bring this to Ecklie or something like that. Anyway I can do this play it cool and pray to God that some divine intervention will wipe away the memory of her soft lips against mine"
But as soon as Sara saw Catherine coming towards the car her heart started to pound and she felt light headed. "Be cool, just be cool woman".
The drive to the scene was awkward to say the least, Catherine was looking out of the passenger seat window like her life depended on it and Sara's hands had a vice grip on the steering wheel. Both women wanted to say something, anything to lesson the awkward silence, but they were both too heartbroken and out of it to think of anything remotely intelligent to say.
Finally they got to the scene and Catherine more or less bolted out of the car, got her gear and all but ran up to the young cop standing a few feet away from a body lying face down in the sand. "Work, this she could do, this was safe!"
The cop informed her about what he knew about the body, which wasn't much and proceeded to call her "Maam" a few times, which she always hated making her feel older than she was. He even had the audacity to give Sara a flirty smile and a wink. And Sara smiled back, Catherine felt like slapping him, but she had already violated a co-worker yesterday, slapping an officer today properly wouldn't look good on her record. "Get it together Willows, she is not yours anyway".
