Hopefully there are still people reading this...enjoy and Happy Holidays.

Realize

When he was twelve, Nathan watched his best friend Tim fall from his tree house and break his leg. Up until this moment he had never, ever, seen anyone in such excoriating pain; and he had never heard anyone scream so loudly. On the ride to the hospital, Haley had remained calmed; breathing in and out slowly and rubbing her swollen belly, desperate to ease the pain. She had been smiling, laughing at his lame jokes. Even though she carried a complete look of terror on her face, he could tell that she was really happy and excited by the whole thing.

By the time he pulled the car to the front of the ER, the grip on his free hand was enough to make him want to cry and her piercing wails were enough to convince him he would have a headache for at least a week. He didn't think twice about lifting her pregnant, although petite body in his arms and carrying her into the hospital. As headstrong as she seemed to be, she didn't protest. Latching onto his neck, she nestled into his chest as he yelled for help. In a matter of moments, the warmth of his body was leaving her and she was being set down in a wheelchair.

"Is Daddy coming?"

The nurse's simple innocent and simple question caught them both off guard. She and Chris had decided long ago that he would be in the delivery room, ready to be there for her when she gave birth to his godson. But she quickly calculated and realized that Chris was a good five hours away at the present time. Which the way her contractions were coming, fast and hard, she didn't think he'd have that much time to get there. The thought alone made her want to break down. She glanced up at Nathan, curious as to what his thoughts were and just as she was about to protest, correct the misconstrued nurse, the nurse made the executive decision for her.

"We're going to move you into a delivery room." She told Haley once she didn't get a direct answer. She gave Nathan a tight smile and turned the wheelchair in the opposite direction. "She's in great hands."

She gulped, feeling pure terror for the first time since she realized she was pregnant. Throughout the whole thing she had always had someone there; someone to reassure and make her feel safe. Now she was in the home stretch and completely alone. Doing the best she could, she glanced over her shoulder and waved at him, as he too stood completely alone in the bustling hallway. He ran a hand up the side of his neck and rested his hand in the back of his head and it took everything in her not to beg him to come with her.

"Wait!"

His voice sounded hoarse; almost like he was speaking for the first time in his life. Everything, it seemed, with her concerning him was always done almost irrationally. Like some kind of force overtook him and made him think and say and do things that he would normally never do. They were almost through the doors as he jogged up to meet them. It was the right thing to do and it was something he didn't want anyone, especially her, to go through alone. It made him feel good when she breathed a sigh of relief and gave him a grateful smile, clutching his hand just a bit tighter.

"I want to be in there."

"Are you sure?" she questioned, her eyes big with wonder and concern.

"Positive."

X-x-X

The two girls sat in the car; one nervously fiddling with her fingers and the other drumming the steering wheel in front of her. The blonde exhaled deeply glancing over to the brunette who turned off the ignition and waited for the blonde to give a command. The early day's sunlight now gave way to dusk's thunder clouds and if anything, it was fitting to the mood of the broody blonde. Darkness clouded her pale face and sadness plagued her jade eyes. For Brooke, someone who barely knew Peyton, it was fairly easy to tell this was just about the hardest thing Peyton had ever had to do.

The phone call she had received was unexpected at best but she hasn't hesitated to help out if she could possibly help it. If anything, Brooke wanted to help Jake out as best she could and if driving his girlfriend to see him was doing that then count her in. Except she hadn't expected the nearly hysterical Peyton; she hadn't expected the strange request to be an impromptu best friend; and she certainly hadn't expected her to not freak out over the entire situation. Going to Lamaze class once with Haley was enough to let her know that in a crisis she was going to be no good. Which is why she was still grappling with the fact that she hadn't completely lost her cool when a loaded gun was pointed at her head.

"Sweetie?" she prodded, placing her hand on Peyton's shoulder. It wasn't surprising when she instantly jerked away at the contact. "Do you want me to go in there with you?"

Peyton looked up at the quaint building in front of them. In passing it had seemed that way. Only now, knowing what it was, knowing who it held, it seemed quite more looming and much more daunting. Much didn't scare her, but this, this certainly did. This was about to be the hardest thing she would ever have to do and she had to do it alone. Without another word she opened the car door, stepping out into the cool air and slammed the door shut. Brooke was soon following but as Peyton shoved her hands in her leather jacket she shook her head.

"No." she said simply as Brooke stared at her across the car roof, her door still open. Peyton softened slightly. "Thanks, but I'll be okay."

"I'll wait." Brooke nodded, sliding her slender body into the car once more. She watched Peyton walk into the building, hesitating slightly at the entrance before squaring her shoulders and rushing in. "I owe you at least that much."

X-x-X

He remained in the corner of the room, his feet shifting from one to another as he watched her get settled in. Her rosy cheeks had lost some of their color from call the stress of the situation but not once, when a contraction wasn't going on was she not smiling. He could tell that even given the circumstances, this was going to be one of the happiest moments of her life. Once the medication was given and the nurses stopped hovering around her, he went and took a seat beside the bed. She gave him a small smile, pushing the hair out of her face and relaxing into the pillows.

"You feel a little better now?" he asked, running a hand through his unkempt hair. "I mean, considering."

"A little." She shrugged, running her hand soothingly over her belly. "It's still a little uncomfortable."

"I could only imagine." He mused, blowing out his breath.

"What about you?" she asked, taking in his terrified experience. She could tell he was really having to talk himself into staying but at the same time she could tell that he wanted to be there. "It's okay to freak out. It's okay if you don't want to stay."

"I said I wanted to be here didn't I?"

"You did." She nodded, smirking slightly.

"Then I want to be here." He confirmed. "Even though it's kinda freaking me out." He mumbled underneath his breath.

"I heard that." She whispered as she rested her head on the back of the pillow, clutching the covers as another contraction was felt throughout her body. After it was over, she sat up a little straighter and reached for the phone. "Can you had me that?"

He quickly handed her the phone and took his seat once more. He watched as she dialed a number only to hang up as soon as she put the phone to her ear. She glanced at him briefly before picking the phone back up and dialing again. He was beginning to notice that whenever she was nervous or agitated she chewed on her bottom lip. This time was no exception. The particular phone call she was on now though, she stayed on the line until someone picked up on the other end.

"Chris?!" she plugged one finger in her hear and pushed the phone up to her ear as far as possible. "God, I can barely hear you!"

Nathan couldn't help but perk up his ears in interest at her conversation. Of course he knew there was always a father for her unborn child, someone he was sure she was in love with at some point; possibly even the present. But the fact blew his mind that the coward, the mindless bastard was no where in sight the entire time she had been pregnant and now she was calling him to inform him of their child's birth. He shook his head; she was only setting herself up for disappointment.

"Better Hales?"

"Chris, I'm in labor." Her lips involuntary pursed in a tight smile as she awaited his reaction. She was shocked to be greeted with silence. "Chris?"

"God Hales," his voice cracked and she could see him rubbing his forehead on the other end of the line. "I'm five hours away. I'm in South Carolina for God's sake. South Carolina; not North. Oh my God, you're alone. You're all alone. I told you I shouldn't have left."

"Chris, sweetie, calm down." She gently commanded, wincing as another contraction came on. "Everything is okay."

Nathan shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"And I'm not alone." She continued, winking in Nathan's direction. "Just get here as soon as you can okay?"

"I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"It'll be okay. Be careful. I love you." She returned the phone to its cradle and handed the entire thing to Nathan. Silence enveloped them for several minutes and she suddenly felt the need to explain herself. "That was my best friend, Chris. He takes care of me."

"Oh." Was the response he could muster. "Where is he?"

"He's at a gig." She answered and he couldn't deny the melancholy behind her voice. As if detecting that she could bear her entire soul, she continued. "I mean, he takes wonderful care of me, and the baby. He's supportive, and kind, and he makes me laugh." She sighed. "He's gone a lot though, sometimes for up to a week at a time. I just miss him and now," she swallowed rubbing her stomach soothingly. " And now that this baby is coming I'm scared. Because it won't just be me by myself; it'll be this whole other person that needs to be taken care of. I just, God, I dunno if I'll be able to do it."

"I think," he started, reaching up to swipe away the few rogue tears running down her cheek. " that you can do whatever you set your mind to. And even though I don't know you, I know you have incredible love for this child already, and that alone will push you to do whatever it takes to get the job done."

"Thanks." She let her breath out nervously, reaching out to latch onto his hand as a sharp pain shot through her abdomen. "I think the baby's coming."

X-x-X

Peyton reached for the door handle once more and once more her hand recoiled before she could even touch the cool metal. She ran a hand through her unruly curls spinning around in her worn converse before staring at the door again. She didn't want to set herself up for heartache or disappointment but she knew going into that room that that was exactly what was in store for her. Except now, it wasn't just her she had to think about. There were bigger things now; bigger than the two of them and that was her most pressing concern. Her heart would just simply have to manage to keep itself together.

She took the two steps forward to the door, placing her open palms on the door and resting her forehead on the wood. She could handle her own, she was a fighter, a lot stronger than she had ever thought possible. But that all seemed to fly out the window as she felt her knees go weak, and she clutched the door for support. She jerked away from the door, slamming her fist into the wall opposite, barely even feeling the pain shoot through her fist and up her arm. The small trickle of blood that ran down her now open and didn't surprise her but the relief she felt was something she wasn't expecting. Albeit small, it was still a welcome occurrence.

With somewhat renewed strength, she turned, marching into the bleak room, letting the door slam behind her. Jake, still wallowing in his own self pity, didn't even wince. He didn't even acknowledge that she was standing in the room. His eyes were transfixed to the window, an outside world it seemed he would never know again. Her labored breath was the only sound echoing throughout the room and then her footsteps as she walked the short distance across the cold, tiled floor to his bed. Her bloodied hand touch his and he gasped at the contact.

Only she could send a shock like that through him.

"Peyt?" he looked towards her slender figure, surprised that he was actually happy to see her. He gaped at her bleeding hand, taking it into his own almost instantly. "What the hell happened?

Words failed her as she flung her arms around his torso. "Tell me that you're alright." She whispered, crying softly into the crook of his neck.

"It's better now." He murmured, one of his hands going to the small of her back and the other resting at the nape of her neck. "I'm so sorry."

"Jake, do you love me?" her voice cracked, and the fact that she even had to ask shook him to his very core. "Please tell me you love me."

"Peyton." He chocked out, unsure of what to say. She pulled away, and she wouldn't even allow him to wipe away her tears. The bewildered and scared look on her face was enough to break his heart.

"Don't."

"Look."

"Don't." she commanded more harshly than she had the last time. "You can't do this. Why are you doing this? You love me Jake. You promised. Don't you realize I'm on your side here?"

He looked away, ashamed.

"No, you don't get to do that anymore." She pulled his chin to make him look at her. "I'm right here Jake. I'm not going anywhere. I've always been right here." She placed her uninjured hand on his chest over his heart. "Don't do this. Please."

He cupped her cheeks, stroking them softly. "You're not half bad."

She laughed through her tears as he said the most normal and beautiful thing she head heard since the shooting. After a bottle of tequila and an almost euphoric year with Jake, Peyton had confessed her love for him. She had clamped her hand over her mouth in embarrassment and he had simple kissed her and smirked. His response, one that suited them and their entire relationship had been, 'You're not half bad.'

"You're not half bad yourself."

X-x-X

"Haley push!"

"I am!!"

Haley groaned, falling back on the bed as her contraction left. She knew it would be quickly replaced by another one and it was quickly taking its toll on her body. She looked up at Nathan as he tentatively wiped the sweat from her forehead. It was almost as if was the one who put her in this position, except she barely knew him. And yet, he was the only one standing by her side and holding her hand during the hardest time in her life. Suddenly an overwhelming sense of dread come over her and when the next contraction hit her, she crunched up her abdomen, refusing to push

"Haley, you're gonna have to push." The doctor instructed looking up over Haley's legs. "This baby is coming but it needs your help."

"I can't." Haley cried, shaking her head venomously. "I can't do this. I'm sorry, I just can't do this. Take it back. I take it all back. Please, I can't do this."

"Yes you can Haley. You have to do this." The doctor responded, trying to sooth her as best as possible.

"No, no." Haley panicked, forgetting to breath and became even more erratic when not only the monitors hooked up her heart started beeping but the one to her baby started as well. "It can't be like this. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I can't, "she gulped, wincing the tears out of her eyes. "I can't. Please. It wasn't supposed to be this way."

"Okay, okay." Nathan took charge, pushing her tired body up and getting behind her, allowing her to rest against his chest. With his hand clutching one of her own and the other pushing the hair out of her face he leaned down to whisper into her ear. "You can do this. Things don't always turn out the way they're supposed to. The only thing that defines our strength is what we do to compensate for those changes. You are strong Haley, I promise you. We'll get through this together.

"You're sure?" she sobbed as more pain tore through her fail body. "Oh god."

"I'm positive. Everything will be okay." He vowed, instinctively kissing her forehead. "Besides, I took a bullet for the kid; the least you could do is let me meet him."