Chapter 2

Buffy couldn't believe it had been a month since Spike's death, every day she had visited his grave well not exactly HIS grave but she didn't know another place to go to 'talk' to him.

She thought of all their times while she was in bed. It was time to get up, she knew that but she couldn't bring herself to do that.

*FLASHBACK*

Buffy and Spike are sitting on a romantic restaurant, Spike is holding Buffy's hands in his and both are looking in each other's eyes.

"Buffy, I know we have only known each other for six months now, but it feels like I've known you forever. I love you and everyday passing I love you even more, I didn't think it was possible having a love this strong, but you proved me wrong. I love you, Buffy…" He said walking from the chair he sat on and kneeled to the ground, "Buffy, will you marry me?"

Buffy has tears in her eyes and all eyes in the restaurant are turned on the couple, exited for the answer, "Oh, William. I don't know what to say…"

"Say yes and you make me the happiest man on earth," He answered tears forming in his eyes.

"Oh William… OFCOURSE IT'S YES!" She said and he got up on his legs and her with him when he pulled his arms around her and she had her arms around his neck and they got together in a fiercely kiss. And all the people in the restaurant either clapped or made 'naaaw' noises.

*END FLASHBACK*

Buffy was sitting in her bed crying now, thinking of Spike. She looked at her watch, '13:48' Buffy sighed and thought some more of her former friend, fiancé and lover.

*FLASHBACK*

Buffy is dancing at the dance floor on the bronze when Spike is coming behind her, "'Lo, love." He says.

"I was wondering when the handsome stranger was going to show up," She says turning around so she is facing him and they hell eye contact while they are dancing together.

"So, pet… Have a name?" He asked in a whisper as she was dancing close to him, when she turned around so her back was against his she answered,

"Buffy, and yours?" She was grinding against him womanly pride washed over her as she felt his erection against her.

"Spike…" He gasped as she grabbed his hands putting them on her body.

"Is Spike really your name?" She asked, breathing heavily.

"No," He said his hands moving up her body and down.

"Fine, be that way… So you're English right?" She then asked.

He smiled, "Yeah." He put his arms around her waist.

She turned around and before she knew it he kissed her, his tongue on her lips she knew he wanted to enter her mouth so she opened her mouth and their tongues met she got weak in her knees and put her arms around his neck.

*END FLASHBACK*

Buffy was crying quiet now, her tears was just falling down her cheeks her memory of their first kiss on her mind.

She got up from the bed and looked at herself in the mirror; her eyes were red from crying and she was wearing his shirt.

Opening their closet she looked for something to wear to go out from the house, she took out a pair of her own jeans and one of his shirts that still smelled of him she always wore something of his so it felt like he still was with her.

Grabbing her keys from her desk she went out the door not even bothering putting on make-up and rushed down the stairs of her and Spike's house they had bought together.

She ran outside, didn't want to see the blue sky she jumped in his car and drove to the cemetery.

She walked up to where his grave was and sat down on her knees in front of it, tears was still in her eyes.

"Hey, it's me… I can't really believe you are gone, I can't get used to the feeling that you aren't there when I wake up, and I can't get used to not seeing you anywhere in our house… Well I guess its mine house now, right? I really miss your eyes, your touch, your voice, and your face, your smiles… God I miss everything about you! I don't want to live a life without you, and I don't know how I am supposed to go on, everyone is expecting me to be okay but I'm not! I'm not! I, I, I want to be able to talk to you about what's happening in my life. Just think about it, if the boat trip didn't happened if you just would go to Las Vegas as everyone else we would have been married now! And we would have had a one month anniversary of our wedding and a one year anniversary for our relationship." She cried out touching his tomb, tracing his name.

She rose to her feet, looking down on the tomb when she heard a male voice behind her, "BUFFY!"

She turned around seeing Robin? Robert? Raymond? Ray? Riley? Riley, that's it! "Hey Riley…"

"Why are you here?" God he doesn't even know my fiancé is supposed dead.

"I am visiting my fiancés grave, why are you here?" she asks.

"Oh my god I am so sorry, I didn't even know. You know, I should just leave you alone and again, I am sorry for your loss." He said and turned around to leave.

"Wait," Buffy said.

"What?" He asked turning around.

"Never mind," she said kneeling to Spike's grave again.

*FLASH BACK*

Buffy is opening her eyes seeing Spike's, "Good Morning, pet." He says streaking her hair.

"Mmmm, hello," she says pulling closer to his body, her one leg are over both his and her hand is on his chest she reaches up to him for a kiss that ends with him pushing her down in the bed on-top of her pulling her arms up over her head one hand holding her hands the other on her clit.

He gives her a quick kiss and kisses her neck, down to her chest, then breast, her stomach, and then down to the one spot that was aching for his tongue; still is his one hand holding both of hers.

He spread her downer lips with his tongue licking her from bottom to top suckling at her clitoris and some other places, and then he thrust his tongue inside her which got a loud moan from Buffy.

He sucks at various spots on her kissing her too, whispering "I love you." Made her come in a second and then he crawled up her body in a totally hot way.

He locked eyes with her kissing her on the mouth, "You l, love me?" She asks and he kisses her neck, "I don't expect you to say it back, but I do love you." He said in her neck then pulling back to look in her eyes.

"I, I love you too." She said.

"Oh Buffy," He says a smile on his lips kissing her over and over again on her mouth. "Love you. (Kiss) So. (Kiss) Much. (Kiss).

*END FLASHBACK*

She touches the tomb saying over and over again, "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you…"