Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Or these "Filks"/Parodies. All Sites are listed below.
xXxXxXx
"I'm a gonna get you this time, Potter!" 'Lord' Voldemort spat out.
"Of course you will, Tommy-Boy." Harry grinned cheerfully. Then he dropped into angst mode and sang softly…
"I grew up in a cupboard
Underneath the staircase
In the house of the Dursley's
With my cousin Dudley
And my uncle Vernon
And aunt Petunia
And when I asked questions
About my parents, they
Acted like they couldn't hear me
I didn't belong here
Then I got a letter
And went away
I went on a train…
Chorus:
I packed my things
And I learnt how to fly
I've got what it takes
Voldemort will die (A/N: Angst much???)
And I'll
Play Quidditch
Cast some spells
Use my brain
And get away…
Fighting the Dark Lord
It isn't much fun
Saving my friends
And the ones that I love
But I
Must go on
Carry on
Must escape
And get away…
Wish I had a family,
A mummy and a daddy
(feel the rush of emotion)
At Kings Cross station
Get aboard a fast train
The Hogwarts Express
To Hogsmeade Station…
(Chorus)
A building with a hundred floors
Spinning and revolving stairs
Never know where they're gonna take you
I gotta keep studying
Teaching the
The DA
Get away…
(Chorus)
And get away…
And get away…"
And then he was happy again, suddenly.
"Geez," Voldemort muttered, "Is somebody a little bipolar today?"
"What was that?" Harry glared sharply.
"Nothing, nothing…"
Lucius frowned. "Um, aren't you a little bit to happy for a person surrounded by enemy Death Eaters in a dark alley with no one else around to help you or send for the Order? Just asking, cause…"
"Nope." He smirked, then snapped his fingers. "And here we go."
A house elf popped into existence in front of him. It was wearing an angel outfit, complete with rotating golden halo. A chorus of singing angels echoed from further down the alley.
Crabbe and Goyle looked around, confused.
Suddenly, the house elf, whish Lucius recognized as his old house elf 'Dobby' –twitch-twitch- burst into song loudly and (surprisingly) right on key.
[I'll Smash Him, Said Dobby, With a Bludger](To the tune of How Much is That Doggy in the Window)
"I'll smash him," said Dobby, "with a Bludger
And fling him down hard on the ground."
"I'll smash him," said Dobby, "with a Bludger
And then bring him home safe and sound."
"My Master has opened up the Chamber
And unleashed a horrible snake
So if Harry isn't to be slaughtered
I must ev'ry bone of his break."
"I'll smash him," said Dobby, "with a Bludger
And knock him right off of his broom."
"I'll smash him," said Dobby, "with a Bludger
And so save him from certain doom.
"With all my heart I am loving Harry
That hero to the elfish race
That why I'm determined to protect him
That's why I must smash in his face."
So Dobby hit Harry with a Bludger
And broke some bones in his right arm
Then Lockhart came by so he could fix it
And used his most disarming charm.
"I smashed him," said Dobby, "with a Bludger
That I hurled high from above.
"I smashed him," said Dobby, "with a Bludger
You always hurt the one you love."
Then he moved to stand behind a smirking Harry Potter.
"That alone will not defeat the Dark Lord this time, Potter." Macnair sneered.
"No, but I'm not done yet."
-POP-POP-POP-POP-POP-POP-------POP-POP----POP-
A bunch of random Order people apparated into the alley in a circle formation. They began to dance.
[Pokey, Hokey] [To the tune of The Hokey Pokey (aka The Hokey Cokey* to the British)]
"You take a job with Burkes
A new career as clerk
You do some sleazy work
As you're skulking all about
Send Hokey to the pokey
For she'll turn herself in if
Tom Riddle wants all the clout
You make a date with Smith
To do some business with
She owns the stuff of myth
And displays it all about
Send Hokey to the pokey
For she'll turn herself in when
Tom Riddle gets all the clout
Here is a cup you'll love
Of Helga Hufflepuff
"I won't part with this stuff
I'll just keep it hereabouts"
Send Hokey to the pokey
For she'll turn herself in as
Tom Riddle wins all the clout
Now she'll the locket bring
It's suited for a king
It is a precious thing
That you cannot do without
Send Hokey to the pokey
She will turn herself in for
Tom Riddle gains all the clout
That thing belonged to Mom
Before she split with Tom
And you have got no qualm
To detach it from this lout
Send Hokey to the pokey
For she'll turn herself in once
Tom Riddle grabs all the clout
When Hepzibah is dead
After Tom Riddle fled
We'll blame the elf instead
As we take the prison route
Send Hokey to the pokey
For she'll turn herself in to
Give Riddle all of the clout
Go to the pokey, Hokey
Go to the pokey, Hokey
Go to the pokey, Hokey
Tom Riddle's won all the clout!"
[A/N:"Hokey-cokey: a corruption of the Latin words of consecration Hoc est corpus: 'This is my body.' The things you can learn through Google! OMG!]
Voldemort twitched.
"And now….."
Severus Snape jumped off the roof of the building on the right with a spotlight following him down.
Solemnly, he stood with his head bowed…then jumped in the air and pretended to lecture a class.
[Severus Snape's Alphabet] [Transcribed by Caius Marcius]
"A is for Aconite, or Monkshood I quote
B is for Bezoar that comes from a goat
C is for Cauldron with their thickened bottoms
D is for Dunderheads, I know how to spot 'em
E is for Erupment, classified as Class B
F is for Fluxweed so green and grassy
G is for Graphorn, they are hard to collect
H is for horned toad, such fun to dissect
I is for ingredients, we mix them for potions
J is for jars, for things slimy to float in
K is for Kappa, Japanese, I insist
L is for lacewings, bugs of mildew and mist
M is for moonstone that helps you stay placid
N is for NEWTS that burn harder than acid
O is for OWLS, study hard and you'll cruise 'em
P is for Points, give me grief, and you'll lose 'em
Q is for Quills of the porpentine fretful
R is for Runespoor, makes us all less forgetful
S is for Scales, for gauging and weighing
T is for textbooks, you've no time for playing
U is for Umbridge who we all helped retire
V is for V-Serum, for stubborn young liars
W is for Wolfsbane, I helped Hogwarts grow some
X is for X-Death Eaters, I know some
Y is for Yule Ball, which I supervised
Z is for Zymurgy, a process I've prized."
"What the Hell, Severus?" Lucius was understandably shocked. Snape had been smiling for goodness's sake.
Then….Harry stomped towards the Death Eaters.
[Version # 2 of "Twinkle Twinkle"]
"Twinkle twinkle emerald eyes
Hiding my wand deep inside
Mischief we're about to make
Muggles are near the gate
Twinkle twinkle emerald eyes
Shall we play or will they die!"
He cackled insanely, twirling on his tip-toes.
[Lordie Voldie] [Humpty Dumpty]
"Lordie Voldie sat on a wall,
Lordie Voldie had a great fall.
All the Death Eaters, both ladies and men
Couldn't put Lord Voldie together again."
Moody suddenly popped out of nowhere and cast Imperius on Bellatrix, who began to dance like a chicken and bellow…
[Grimmauld Place Theme] [Sesame Street Theme ]
"Cloudy day
The Summer has gone away
On my way
To where the Order stays
Can you tell me how to get
How to get to Grimmauld Place?
Cloudy day
Nothin' goes just my way
Scary portraits there
I can't seem to erase
Can you tell me how to get
How to get to Grimmauld Place?
How to get to Grimmauld Place?
How to get to Grimmauld Place?"
"Oh my fucking God." Lucius face palmed. "My Lord, this a disaster..."
Then Hagrid came…
[Rock-a-bye Norbert ][To the tune of Rock A Bye Baby]
"Rock-a-bye Norbert,
Hagrid's delight.
Kept in a wood house
That he could ignite.
We sent him to Charlie
What else could we do?
We all got detentions,
But Draco did, too!"
The Hermione ran in….
[Hickory Dickory Grawp][To the tune of Hickory Dickory Dock]
"Hickory Dickory Grawp
Loves Hagrid but gives him a pop.
Another love token,
Another rib broken.
Hickory Dickory Grawp."
The Ron and the Twins jumped off of the other roof ad squashed a conviently placed Goyle Jr.
[Pop! Go the Weasleys][Pop Goes the Weasel]
"Around, around the Portable Swamp
The twins manuever easily.
Peeves, you must continue the romp ...
Pop! Go the Weasleys.
A galleon for a Headless Hat
Pay up, now, don't be measily.
Diagon Alley, 93
Pop! Go the Weasleys."
Then Neville showed up….
[Most Wizards Like to Travel by Floo] [By Indigo Ziona to the tune of The Animals went in Two by Two]
"Most wizards like to travel by Floo
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Most wizards like to travel by Floo
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Most wizards like to travel by Floo
They throw in the powder, the flames turn blue
And they jump right into the fire,
To wherever they want to go.
Muggles prefer to use the door
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Muggles prefer to use the door
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Muggles prefer to use the door
Which they lock with a key and not much more
Alohomora's a mystery to them,
They just don't want to know.
Quidditch players use broomsticks
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Quidditch players use broomsticks
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Quidditch players use broomsticks
The Wronski Feint and other good tricks,
Firebolts are really the best
If you want to fly that low.
Death Eaters always Apparate
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Death Eaters always Apparate
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Death Eaters always Apparate
To Voldemort's side they're going straight
And find some Muggles
To inflict with a Crucio."
Then a random HufflePuff got their sweet revenge…
[Draco Malfoy] [Baa Baa Black Sheep] [A/N: Yes, I know that Draco is good in ths story, I jsut had to put this in here. I love it, even if I am a Draco fan.../grin/]
"Draco Malfoy, Slytherin snob,
Newest recruit to the Dark Lord's mob.
Suspicious Harry is quite surprised,
To find Draco in the loo with tears in his eyes. Muhhahahahahahahaaaaa! Oh that's right Bitch, I went there!"
Then Harry told the whole world the dark Lord's heritage…
[Tom, Tom, the Muggle's Son] [Dunno the tune for this one, sorry]
"Tom, Tom, the Muggle's son, cast a curse, and tried to run!
The curse was beat, Tom felt defeat,
Which left him crumpled at Harry's feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet."
"Wait, I'm not….-BOOM-!!!"
And then he was.
The end!
YAY!!!
xXxXxXx
Weird ending, huh? Well, no more weird than normal anyway.
Soooooo..READ MY OTHER STORIES NOW!!!
PS: HEY! FANS OF MY STORY VOCABULARY TEST! The sequel is currently completely written on paper, I just need to type it out… /stares sadly at 6 ½ pages of longhand/
Site: http:// . net/~coriolan/ youngwizard. htm# hreeNurseryFilks
Songs:
"I'll Smash Him," Said Dobby, "With a Bludger"
"Pokey, Hokey"
"Severus Snape's Alphabet" [Note: Zymurgy is a random word that a note on the site said that the author meant his relaxing at the end of the day. It isn't a real word as far as I know…]
Version # 2 Of "Twinkle Twinkle"
"Lordie Voldie"
"Grimmauld Place Theme"
"Rock-A-Bye Norbert"
"Hickory Dickory Grawp"
"Pop! Go the Weasleys"
"Most Wizards Travel By Floo"
"Tom, tom, The Muggle's Son"
"Draco Malfoy"
The very first song is originally by Kelly Clarkson as "Break Away".
Reformed lyrics are named "Harry's Song" and I found them here… a perosn whose username was "Meg" posted it. (thanx 'Meg'!)
http:// www. harrypottersociety. com/Parodies_
