Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

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Everyone had long since gone home, including Derek and now Penelope found herself sitting on her bed, lights off, silhouettes cast everywhere. She didn't need light, she didn't need noise, she needed silence, the silence that the dead of the night brings, that makes a worried soul talk, that makes a troubled mind reassess. She wasn't saddened about them knowing her past, nor was she ashamed, but what made her sit here in complete darkness was the fear she felt whenever she thought of it. The fear that sat in the pit of her stomach for when the memory bank got robbed and things were set free to reign and wreak havoc the only way it knows, through nightmares and flashbacks.

She didn't mind being alone but something about this loneliness was kind of haunting yet she took a deep breath whenever the urge to sink into a corner and hide came about. She didn't close her eyes, she just stared at nothingness, the darkness made spaces all one, there was nowhere to look in darkness but at darkness.

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Derek looked up at the apartment windows and saw no movement, he knew she was wide awake for her blinds and curtains were open that verified for him that she was indeed mulling over the events of the last day. Not self wallowing but assessing life and her past. He watched a man and woman enter the courtyard holding hands and sighed; he ran a hand over his head and headed home. Missing the light that came on.

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She got up off the bed and headed into the bathroom, now that was the only light that illuminated her whole apartment, she put the bath on and went to the fridge, she got wine out and the tequila bottle. One shot later she poured herself the wine and walked into the bathroom, pushing the door too slightly she put the glass down and got undressed, there in the mirror she looked over her shoulder and saw the scars still covering part of her back, the last remains of the man who had done this to her. She felt a chill run up her spine, like someone walking over her grave so to speak. She shook the feelings over taking her and stepped into the bath. Soon sleep caught her and she feel asleep in the deep bath as it soothed her, when she woke up the water was nearly cold, she pulled the plug out with her toes and got up out of the water, she dried off and put pyjamas on. She then just sat on the bed, no more sleep came to her, the bath had distracted her but now she was left with her own thoughts. Questioning her every part of existence in the world.

She had a family who would support her but it was the loneliness that scared her, okay so Derek had confessed that he was madly in love with her but he might drop off that pedestal like the others. She snapped out of her train of thought when she heard the door open, not truly realising how much time she had wasted entrapped in her own mind. She sat frozen, then she heard the door close and the rustling of bags. She stood cautiously and went out and released all tension gathered and smiled.

'Baby girl... what are you doing up?'

'What are you doing here?' She questioned back at him.

'I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed.'

'Hmm any particular reason?'

'Well I can't just tell a woman I'm in love with her and not act upon it.'

There it was the genuine passionate reinforcement of his love, she kicked herself for ever doubting that Derek Morgan would be a Lynch to her. It affirmed how much he loved her there and then and her existence in the world slid back into place.

'How did you sleep baby girl?'

She shrugged her shoulders in response. '2 and half hours in the bath, none in bed.'

'Is that it?'

'Yeah.'

'P, what's up?'

'I was making use of the dark.'

'By staying awake?'

'Yep... staying awake and reassessing everything.'

'You questioned me didn't you? Questioned the last few days?' She nodded and looked down, away from his eyes that were seeking refuge with hers. He walked towards her, placed a finger under her chin and made her look at him. 'I am never going to stop having these feelings... it's taken me two years to get to this point there is no way I am turning my back on you... ever.'

She couldn't stop the tear as it escaped but couldn't help but smile as Derek caught it for her. 'Thank you.'

'Come here baby girl.' He said drawing her into a hug. 'I shouldn't have gone last night.'

'I didn't mind.'

'Well maybe not but I do... we are going to do this properly P... I promise we are going to do this.' She nodded. 'Now sit on the couch, while I make pancakes.'

'Ooh pushing the boat out I see.' She joked.

'For you I am.' He said as he entered the kitchen. 'Baby were you drinking last night?' He called out to her as he noticed the empty shot glass in the sink.

'I had one and a glass of wine... that I didn't drink.'

'Why?'

'Sleep remedy.' She said with a slight nonchalant tone to her voice.

'Did it work?'

'Temporarily.' She said as she slumped on the couch with a sigh. She grabbed a large cushion and put her knees up, still hugging the cushion she dropped her chin so she was tightly curled up staring ahead. The next thing she knows a plate of Pancakes with banana slices and cut up strawberries is being held in front of her. She put her hand out but Derek walked away, with the plate. 'Handsome.'

'Na uh baby girl... table.' He says as he puts the plate down, and goes into the kitchen and brings out a cup of tea and a plate for himself. 'Come on baby girl.'

She gives in and sits with him at the table, she smiles instantly as she read what he had written on them, I love you. 'Aw you're a deep down romantic at heart aren't you?'

'Only when it comes to my baby girl.'

'Well your baby girl appreciates it very much. You've made her day.'

'I'm glad I have.' He says and smiles as she gives him a masterpiece of a smile that makes his breath hitch slightly, it's a different smile than what she gives everyone else and he knew at that moment as he looked at it he would never get bored of seeing it.