Bleed it Out

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto in anyway, so don't sue me.

Warnings: Blood, Self Abuse, Yaoi, and Lemons, probably.

'Thoughts'
"Demons Talking"
'Flashbacks'
'Dreams'
"Talking"
A/N: Author's Note.


Chapter 9

"Kankuro… what are you doing?" I asked my brother, eyeing him suspiciously.

"I hate how Naruto actually accepts you… can't he see that you are a no good monster?" Kankuro glared at me.

Kankuro chuckled, "That is fine though …we will see how much he accepts you when you destroy Konoha, the village he loves to no end."

"I would never do that," I snapped.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Kankuro snapped, I felt a sharp pain in my neck. My eyelids grew heavy and suddenly the idea of sleep sounded very good to me.

I heard the distant sound of a door closing, as my eyes finally shut.


"Naruto wake up!!!" I heard Sakura yell, as the loud knocking on my door continued.

I stood up and frowned, I could've swore that when I fell asleep last night Gaara had been laying on top of me. I shrugged it off, he had probably left to go and do something.

"What is it Sakura?" I asked her after I opened the door.

"Gaara is attacking the village," Sakura said. My eyes widened, why would Gaara be attacking the village? Had he just been playing with me, had this all been a lie?

Anger bubbled up inside of me and suddenly all I all I wanted to do was kick Gaara's ass. I wanted to teach him that he couldn't just toy with my emotions and then throw them right into my face, because if he did that he would pay… dearly.

"Let's go," I growled.

I don't particularly remember what happened when I was fighting the Shukaku, but I do remember that I had gone to the third tail while fighting it, that had really freaked everyone out. I was pissed when I found out that the hospital had actually treated Gaara... I mean since when did we treat people who tried to destroy the village.

"Naruto, the council is about to start discussing what they are going to do with Gaara, are you going to come." Sakura asked looking at me. I nodded; I would not pass up the opportunity to watch Gaara squirm under the piercing stares of the council. The door made a creaking sound as we entered. Gaara and I made eye contact, but his eyes immediately filled with guilt and regret and he turned his head away, never once looking back.

I had never been to one of these before, but apparently while they were discussing what they were going to go about you they acted like you weren't even there, I am guessing the purpose of this is to make you nervous.

"Alright let's begin," Tsunade said.

Danzo slammed his hand on the table, "I say we kill the kid… do you even know how long it will take us to repair this?!"

Tsunade turned towards the redhead, "What do you have to say about this?"

"I know it will take you all a long time to repair and I deserve any punishment you decide on and much more, I let my guard down and because of that Shukaku took over, so this is 100% my fault." Everyone's eyes visibly widened and Gaara lowered his head more.

"I say we sentence him to 5 years in jail." Someone said.

"No, we should just kill him now, he could easily break out of jail and this is the second time he has attacked our village." Danzo snapped.

Tsunade sighed as people began arguing over the two ideas, "Well, since we obviously aren't going to be reaching a decision any time soon you will stay in jail until we reach a decision."

The redhead nodded, as ANBU appeared and took him away.


I sighed, as I stared at the wall in front of me. I didn't think they would sentence me to death right away; they would make me live my life suffering, instead of giving me relief with death. Kankuro had succeeded when he made me attack Konoha; Naruto hated me now, it showed clearly in his eyes when we had made eye contact. I had lost everything precious to me and there was nothing I could do about it.

I turned around as I heard footsteps coming my way.

I stared into Kankuro's black eyes and he stared right back, a grin already forming onto his face.

He turned to the guard, "You can leave now; he won't do anything stupid."

The guard gave a small shrug and walked back the way he came.

He turned back to me the grin still on his face, "So how are you Gaara?"


We followed the guard to the cell Gaara was being kept in. I needed to see him, because I needed to give him a piece of my mind and Sakura just came along, because she had nothing better to do. Our guard stopped as another guard met up with us.

"What were you doing?" Our guard asked.

"I was taking Kankuro to see Gaara…" The other guard stated.

"Well I am sure you two can figure out how to get there from here." Our guard said as he followed the other guard out.

We found our way to the place where Gaara was being held and I was about to walk in when Sakura stopped me.

I turned to ask her a question, but she held her finger up to her mouth and then pointed to Kankuro. I nodded realizing that she wanted to listen in on their conversation.

"So how are you Gaara?" Kankuro asked.


I stared at Kankuro and than smiled, as I sat down on the ground. "You know... now that I think about it, I probably should have just killed myself after dad realized he seriously fucked up, when he made me. It would have saved me a lot of heart ache, but even if I didn't kill myself then I should have killed myself after Yashamaru tried to kill me, but I didn't did I? …No I didn't… I still tried to make myself worthy in some way, but it was no use was it? No matter what I did dad never accepted me as his son, no one ever accepted me, I was just the person no one wanted to ever have around. Even when I tried to change myself after the chunin exams, still no one accepted me. No matter what I did I was never accepted by anyone. And because I had nothing I began cutting myself just so I could feel alive again, just so I could feel something besides the constant aching in my chest, just so the loneliness wouldn't hurt as much. You were always better than me, everyone always loved you, you could throw a giant fit and people would think it was cute, but no matter what I did no one ever saw me as anything other than a weapon or a monster. You like it how I don't have any attention, it makes you feel special, you never wanted me to have anyone who would make the loneliness go away, so when I finally found someone who would accept me you had to take it away, you had to make me attack his birthplace, the place he wants to be leader of. My life was just a big mistake wasn't it? No one ever wanted me and no one ever wanted anyone to want me, so whenever I have something good people have to take it away from me. I hope they decide to sentence me to death, because if they do that I will be able to do at least one thing right… die."

My entire body was numb, I couldn't feel anything, I couldn't move any more. I was frozen. I couldn't breath, I could feel my heartbeat get weaker, 'Maybe I can actually do this by myself… maybe I can actually die this time… maybe… just maybe I can do this one thing right.'


I was in total shock by Gaara's speech and apparently Sakura was too. 'Kankuro had made Gaara attack the village and Gaara wanted to die…? And Kankuro had made Gaara attack the village, because he wanted to make me hate Gaara?'

Kankuro walked away from the cell, but as soon as I could I punched him in the face.

"You are an asshole!" I yelled feeling anger bubble up in me.

He hit the ground and stared up at me in shock, "You heard all of that?"

"Yes I did, and I am glad I did, because now I am going to kick your ass and then tell the council what you made Gaara do." I snapped, moving in to hit him again.

One of the guards quickly stopped me, "That is enough; we will discuss what we are going to do with you very soon."

The guard glared at Kankuro.

"Hey guys… Gaara isn't breathing." Sakura said.

I instantly paled and ran over to the cell. A pool of blood was quickly forming under Gaara and his eyes were closed.

The guard ran over to the cell and opened it; shoving Kankuro in and grabbing Gaara. We brought Gaara to the hospital and they immediately brought him into a room where they could perform surgery on him. I sighed, as I sat in the waiting room. 'What would I do if he died now?' I buried my face in my hands; his speech kept replaying itself in my head.

Hours passed and I still hadn't heard anything.

Tsunade finally came down, "He is awake… you can go in there now."


I sighed as I stared at the ceiling… who was I to think that I could actually succeed in something… I couldn't succeed in dying… I couldn't succeed in anything. I rolled over onto my side, as tears started to run down my cheeks. Why couldn't I just die? I couldn't stop sobbing no matter how hard I tried, why did people have to make me suffer more… why wouldn't they just let me die.


Choked sobs broke the silence of the usual quiet hospital room.

"Gaara…" I whispered. He turned around and looked at me his eyes were filled with misery.

"Why…" he asked; his voice cracking.

"Why what?" I stared at him.

"Why… do you need to make me suffer more?" He stared at me his eyes searching me to find some hidden meaning for me being here.

"I'm… I'm not trying to make you suffer more…" I said quietly.

"Then why?! Why are you here?! If you aren't trying to make me suffer… you have no reason to be here…" He snapped.

"I'm here, because …I love you." I could feel my heart slowly breaking… he didn't trust me any more.

"You're so full of shit!" The redhead snapped, glaring at me.

I shook my head, "No it's true… I really do love you…"

"You're lying…" He said.

I shook my head again and pulled him into a hug, "No… I am not… I love you… and I don't ever want to loose you.


I stared into Naruto's beautiful blue eyes; they showed me nothing, but love.

He smiled at me, "Now let me show you how much I really love you."

I blinked… what did he mean by that? He pushed me onto the bed and climbed on top of me. 'We're going to do that?'

He kissed me on the lips; his tongue licked my lip begging for entrance. I opened my mouth and he used that opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth. His mouth explored my mouth; he pushed my tongue begging me to play with him. I began playing with his tongue, desperately trying to please him… I couldn't let him go no matter how much I tried. He pulled away, leaving me to lay there panting.

Naruto pulled the shirt I was wearing off, before attacking my neck. He left bite marks on my neck.

My entire body was tense as he moved further down until he reached the pants I was wearing. He quickly slipped my pants off. He began kissing my thighs and I closed my eyes, as he began licking them.

He planted a kiss on my lips, "Relax Gaara… I won't do anything you don't want me to."

I stared at Naruto, I trusted him I really did, but this just wasn't something I was comfortable doing yet… but I really didn't want to disappoint Naruto, so I'd put up with anything he did.


I sighed, as Gaara stared at me, there was no way I could stop now… I needed to go through with it. I didn't come prepared to do this, so I didn't have any lubricant, but I couldn't just take him without preparing him… that wouldn't do much for trying to get him to trust me again.

I had never done this before, so I was going on pure instinct. I raised three of my fingers to his face. He stared at me questioningly, but then got the message and began sucking on them. I pulled them out of his mouth and inserted the first finger, he gasped and his body got tense again.

"Relax, just relax." I whispered, as I inserted a second finger. He was so tight, I began scissoring my fingers. I inserted my third finger and continued stretching him. I pulled my fingers out after I thought I had prepared him enough and positioned myself at his entrance.

I pushed myself all the way into him, his hands were gripping the sheets and he was obviously in pain. I stayed still waiting for Gaara to adjust.

"Do you want me to stop?" I asked staring at him.

He shook his head, "No, I am fine just move."

I obeyed and began moving; quickly picking up my pace until I was continuously slamming into him. He was so tight and so hot… it felt so good. Tears of pain were sliding down Gaara's cheeks; I leaned up and kissed them away.

Eventually he began moaning at the same time as me.

"Naruto… I'm going to…" Gaara panted.

He moaned my name as he came and I followed soon after moaning his name. I pulled out and leaned up to kiss him.

"I love you," I whispered kissing the kanji for love on his forehead.

"I love you too," Gaara whispered leaning his head on my chest.

I sighed… by now those words meant nothing, they had been tossed around so carelessly so many times…

I kissed him again, "Don't leave me,"

A small smile graced his lips, "I won't, just don't leave me either."

"I will never leave you," I whispered, as I wrapped my arms around him.

I would never hurt Gaara and I would never leave him… I would be with him forever even when I couldn't hold him like this.


I sighed; as I listened to the gentle beat of Naruto's heart… it was the best sound I could ever hear… I really did love him and hopefully this time we could do this right… hopefully this time no one would try and tear apart our love.

"I truly love you Uzumaki Naruto," I whispered even though he couldn't hear me.

"I love you to Gaara… and I actually mean that." My eyes widened, as I heard Naruto say that. A small smile tugged at my lips, as I grabbed his hand and entwined our fingers. I felt Naruto gently squeeze my hand, as he kissed the top of my head.

…Naruto was like a drug… a drug that I was already hopelessly addicted to, but it wasn't even like I wanted to let go him… I wouldn't be able to live without him… he is the person that I care about most in the world, he is the person I would never be able to let go of him.


A/N: That is the end of this story, it could have been better, especially the lemon, I really need to work on those, but hopefully this one was at least decent… I hope you all enjoyed the story and don't forget to tell me what you thought about it in your reviews.