Edward: I THINK Lotty said her name was Moony...
Cassy: O.O... oh no...EVERYBODY HIDE!!
Edward: Well...That would be why we're in the closet...
Cassy: Oooh...oh right (whispers to Jasper) at least no one has realized you have no shirt on for no apparent reason
Emmett: JAZZY SPAZZY'S NAKED! IT'S AN ORGY!!!! *grabs Cassy and kisses her*
Jasper: I AM NOT NAKED!!
Cassy: That's right, he's just topless, and Jasper please hit Emmett
Jasper: Gladly *hits Emmett*
Emmett: *squeezes Cassy's ass*
Cassy: AHHHHHHHHH! PERVERT!!!!!!*runs out of closet screaming*
Jasper: *attacks Emmett*
Emmett: You like it rough Jazzy Spazzy?! *kisses Jasper WITH tongues*
Jasper: *retches, then kicks Emmett in the balls then kicks him in the head multiple times* DIE PAEDO! DIE!!!!
Emmett: I love you to, you sexy boy!
Jasper: AHHHHH! *flees closet*
Emmett: NOO! Come back me my one true love! Whose washboard abs, make me want to dry hump!
Edward: *hits Emmett with rock*
Carlisle: Where'd you get that rock?
Edward: I keep some in my pocket
Carlisle: Whhhhhy?
Edward: Meh
Carlisle: Ooookay...
(In the garden)
Moany: Ug..urgh...guh...what happen- EDWARD CULLEN!!! *crawls around sniffing*
Lotty: What the fuck are you doing, you insane squirrel
Moany: FLUFFY TAIL!!!
Lotty: TAILESS SQUIRREL!
Moany: FLUFFY TAIL!!!
Lotty: NO TAIL!!
Moany: FLUFF-
(private joke)
Cassy: AHHHH! I FEEL VIOLATED!!
Lotty: Why? What happened?
Cassy: Emmett happened...
Lotty: Oh god, I know, he's actually getting worse, I was in the shower this morning and I found cameras with stickers saying property of Emmett Cullen
Moany: EMMETT CULLEN!!??
Jasper: AHHHH!
Cassy: *kisses* what happened Jazz?
Moany: *stares open mouthed*
Jasper: Emmett happened...
Lotty: Oh snap!
Cassy: What she said.
Moany: *rugby tackles Jasper into a bush and screams* JAZZY SPAZZY!!!YOU ARE MINE NOW!!!!
Lotty: O.O I told Edward to hide you...It's not my fault!
Cassy: No, it's Emmett
Jasper: *screams in emotional pain then faints*
Lotty: Wow...they can faint?
Cassy: Apparently so...
Moany: OH MY GOD! I KILLED JASPER!!
Lotty: Yes...you have killed him
Moany: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Loui: *wanders in* what's crack a lackin?
Moany: I KILLED JASPER CULLEN!!!
Loui: Yes...I'm sure you did *sees Jasper* AMAGAWD! JASPER?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!
Moany: I KILLED HIM!!
Loui: *cries*
Moany: *cries too*
Emmett: *also cries*
Moany: O.O
Loui: O.O
Lotty: Oh shit
Cassy: Oh Jesus. H. Christ
Loui + Moany: EMMET CULLEN!!!!
Emmett: Yesh?
Loui: Mine!
Moany: Mine!
Loui: No, Mine!
Moany: MINE!
Loui: MINE!
Moany: MINE!
Emmett: Ladies ladies, if you must fight, you have to do it topless
Lotty: NO DON'T!
Cassy: DON'T LISTEN TO HIM! HE'S A PAEDOPHILE!
(In the closet)
Edward: Maybe we should go help...
Carlisle: I don't know...
Edward: I don't really like closets, they make me feel gay...
Carlisle: Yes...
Alice: Maybe we should go outside...Carlisle, you are about to fall in love with a short blonde girl...and Edward, you may get raped the future is unclear...Emmett has already met his true love
Jasper: *walks in unsteadily*
Edward: Are you alright?
Jasper: No, not really...
Carlisle: What happened?
Jasper: I just got raped, emotionally *breaks down in tears*
Carlisle: By who?
Jasper: Cassy and Lotty's friends
Edward: Girls?
Jasper: Yah
Alice: I told you so
Carlisle: WE NEED TO GO OUTSIDE AND MEET THEM!!
Jasper: I'm too emotionally scarred to care anymore
Edward: I'm sure Lotty would want me to get on with her friends...maybe they can help me learn more about her...
Carlisle: I need to get me a new chick
Jasper: Carlisle, stop trying to talk all 'funky' it's really not helping my emotional pain
Carlisle: But I'm down with the kids
Jasper: Sure, you are Carlisle
Edward: Jasper, you should stay here, you're going green
Jasper: Thank you Eddie
Edward: DON'T CALL ME EDDIE!!
Jasper: Oh right, sorry Eddie
Edward: *knocks Edward out with a rock*
Carlisle: How many of those are you carrying?
Edward: Meh, a few
Carlisle: Okaaaaaay...Well let's go
Edward: *pushes Jasper into the back of the closet and padlocks it*
(Back outside)
Moany: MINE!
Loui: MINE!
Moany: MINE!
Loui: MINE!
Moany: MINE!
Loui: MINE!
Emmett: Yes ladies, I shall be yours!
Lotty: Pleeease shoot me!
Cassy: *pretends to shoot Lotty then pretends to commit suicide* God, this is SO embarrassing
(Enter Edward and Carlisle)
Edward: *kisses Lotty* Hey babe
Carlisle: So where are-
Moany & Loui: EDWARD CULLEN!!! OMG!!!
Moany: AND CARLISLE!!
Loui: WHO CARES, IT'S EDWARD CULLEN!!
Moany: and Carlisle
Edward: *hasn't noticed, is still kissing Lotty*
Moany & Loui: OMG!! MUST KILL!!!!
Cassy: *Coughs*Edward *coughs* Stop!
Loui: *sneaks up behind them*
Moany: *hits Lotty with a rock she took from Edward's pocket*
Loui: *ties Edward up and gags him*
Moany: *climbs on him*
Loui & Moany: *fight to sit on him*
