Edward: I THINK Lotty said her name was Moony...

Cassy: O.O... oh no...EVERYBODY HIDE!!

Edward: Well...That would be why we're in the closet...

Cassy: Oooh...oh right (whispers to Jasper) at least no one has realized you have no shirt on for no apparent reason

Emmett: JAZZY SPAZZY'S NAKED! IT'S AN ORGY!!!! *grabs Cassy and kisses her*

Jasper: I AM NOT NAKED!!

Cassy: That's right, he's just topless, and Jasper please hit Emmett

Jasper: Gladly *hits Emmett*

Emmett: *squeezes Cassy's ass*

Cassy: AHHHHHHHHH! PERVERT!!!!!!*runs out of closet screaming*

Jasper: *attacks Emmett*

Emmett: You like it rough Jazzy Spazzy?! *kisses Jasper WITH tongues*

Jasper: *retches, then kicks Emmett in the balls then kicks him in the head multiple times* DIE PAEDO! DIE!!!!

Emmett: I love you to, you sexy boy!

Jasper: AHHHHH! *flees closet*

Emmett: NOO! Come back me my one true love! Whose washboard abs, make me want to dry hump!

Edward: *hits Emmett with rock*

Carlisle: Where'd you get that rock?

Edward: I keep some in my pocket

Carlisle: Whhhhhy?

Edward: Meh

Carlisle: Ooookay...

(In the garden)

Moany: Ug..urgh...guh...what happen- EDWARD CULLEN!!! *crawls around sniffing*

Lotty: What the fuck are you doing, you insane squirrel

Moany: FLUFFY TAIL!!!

Lotty: TAILESS SQUIRREL!

Moany: FLUFFY TAIL!!!

Lotty: NO TAIL!!

Moany: FLUFF-

(private joke)

Cassy: AHHHH! I FEEL VIOLATED!!

Lotty: Why? What happened?

Cassy: Emmett happened...

Lotty: Oh god, I know, he's actually getting worse, I was in the shower this morning and I found cameras with stickers saying property of Emmett Cullen

Moany: EMMETT CULLEN!!??

Jasper: AHHHH!

Cassy: *kisses* what happened Jazz?

Moany: *stares open mouthed*

Jasper: Emmett happened...

Lotty: Oh snap!

Cassy: What she said.

Moany: *rugby tackles Jasper into a bush and screams* JAZZY SPAZZY!!!YOU ARE MINE NOW!!!!

Lotty: O.O I told Edward to hide you...It's not my fault!

Cassy: No, it's Emmett

Jasper: *screams in emotional pain then faints*

Lotty: Wow...they can faint?

Cassy: Apparently so...

Moany: OH MY GOD! I KILLED JASPER!!

Lotty: Yes...you have killed him

Moany: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Loui: *wanders in* what's crack a lackin?

Moany: I KILLED JASPER CULLEN!!!

Loui: Yes...I'm sure you did *sees Jasper* AMAGAWD! JASPER?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!

Moany: I KILLED HIM!!

Loui: *cries*

Moany: *cries too*

Emmett: *also cries*

Moany: O.O

Loui: O.O

Lotty: Oh shit

Cassy: Oh Jesus. H. Christ

Loui + Moany: EMMET CULLEN!!!!

Emmett: Yesh?

Loui: Mine!

Moany: Mine!

Loui: No, Mine!

Moany: MINE!

Loui: MINE!

Moany: MINE!

Emmett: Ladies ladies, if you must fight, you have to do it topless

Lotty: NO DON'T!

Cassy: DON'T LISTEN TO HIM! HE'S A PAEDOPHILE!

(In the closet)

Edward: Maybe we should go help...

Carlisle: I don't know...

Edward: I don't really like closets, they make me feel gay...

Carlisle: Yes...

Alice: Maybe we should go outside...Carlisle, you are about to fall in love with a short blonde girl...and Edward, you may get raped the future is unclear...Emmett has already met his true love

Jasper: *walks in unsteadily*

Edward: Are you alright?

Jasper: No, not really...

Carlisle: What happened?

Jasper: I just got raped, emotionally *breaks down in tears*

Carlisle: By who?

Jasper: Cassy and Lotty's friends

Edward: Girls?

Jasper: Yah

Alice: I told you so

Carlisle: WE NEED TO GO OUTSIDE AND MEET THEM!!

Jasper: I'm too emotionally scarred to care anymore

Edward: I'm sure Lotty would want me to get on with her friends...maybe they can help me learn more about her...

Carlisle: I need to get me a new chick

Jasper: Carlisle, stop trying to talk all 'funky' it's really not helping my emotional pain

Carlisle: But I'm down with the kids

Jasper: Sure, you are Carlisle

Edward: Jasper, you should stay here, you're going green

Jasper: Thank you Eddie

Edward: DON'T CALL ME EDDIE!!

Jasper: Oh right, sorry Eddie

Edward: *knocks Edward out with a rock*

Carlisle: How many of those are you carrying?

Edward: Meh, a few

Carlisle: Okaaaaaay...Well let's go

Edward: *pushes Jasper into the back of the closet and padlocks it*

(Back outside)

Moany: MINE!

Loui: MINE!

Moany: MINE!

Loui: MINE!

Moany: MINE!

Loui: MINE!

Emmett: Yes ladies, I shall be yours!

Lotty: Pleeease shoot me!

Cassy: *pretends to shoot Lotty then pretends to commit suicide* God, this is SO embarrassing

(Enter Edward and Carlisle)

Edward: *kisses Lotty* Hey babe

Carlisle: So where are-

Moany & Loui: EDWARD CULLEN!!! OMG!!!

Moany: AND CARLISLE!!

Loui: WHO CARES, IT'S EDWARD CULLEN!!

Moany: and Carlisle

Edward: *hasn't noticed, is still kissing Lotty*

Moany & Loui: OMG!! MUST KILL!!!!

Cassy: *Coughs*Edward *coughs* Stop!

Loui: *sneaks up behind them*

Moany: *hits Lotty with a rock she took from Edward's pocket*

Loui: *ties Edward up and gags him*

Moany: *climbs on him*

Loui & Moany: *fight to sit on him*