Chapter 6: All Around Pain
Mamoru stared at the girls in front of him blankly. All looked worse for the wear. It was the worst condition he had ever seen them in. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to find the strength to keep them together. That should be his focus. These girls meant the world to Usagi, and the least he could do for his love was to make sure her friends were okay.
But all he could think of was his Usako. The pain that she was in.
He was weak. That was the simple answer.
They were all at the temple, loitering in the courtyard, waiting for Rei to show up. Minako had called him and ordered him to bring himself and Ami as quickly as he could to the temple. Minako and Makoto had arrived a few minutes after them, and now the only one who was missing was Rei. He could see the sliding door to the meditation room was closed, meaning she was inside.
He prayed that she was discovering something that would help them locate Usagi. He and Ami had tried everything there was to locate Usagi. And had come up empty-handed. He hated this feeling of uselessness.
The door slid open and Rei stepped out, her hair billowing behind her. Her eyes were redder than he had ever thought eyes could have gotten. Her pain was extreme, he knew then, not only because of what had happened to Chibi-Usa and Usagi- but because of what she had been hiding from him.
"I have something to tell you all," Rei said quietly, her figure was sagged by an unknown weight.
"What is it?" he asked, leaning against the wall weakly, "Is it about Usako?"
"It is," she responded simply, her eyes not meeting his.
"What is it?" Minako asked, repeating his own words
"Usagi was too afraid of what he would do to tell us…" Rei said quietly, not looking at any of them
Mamoru's eyes furrowed and he pushed himself off of the wall, standing straight, "Afraid of who? Who are you talking about?"
"Her cousin, Scott, he-" she cut herself off, the words caught in her throat.
Something flashed before his eyes. A memory. He had been at dinner with the Tsukinos. And there had been her cousin. Scott had glared at him all through the night whenever he thought Mamoru wasn't looking. And the hatred Mamoru had felt from the man had unnerved him and he had stayed away from Scott.
"What did he do to her?" Mamoru asked, walking to Rei and facing her. She looked everywhere but his eyes, shaking in agony as her face crumpled under stress and pain.
"WHAT DID HE DO TO HER!?" he heard himself roar at her, his hands gripping her shoulders and shaking her, trying to shake the words out of her, needing to know what had happened. He wasn't controlling himself anymore, he just had to know where Usako was.
"He-" she tried again, "He raped her"
Mamoru felt agony sear his skin, his heart; everything in his vicinity went black, "NO!"
The only thing he could hear pounding in his head was, "Why didn't she tell me?" Everything else was pain.
Makoto's eyes snapped shut, "No…"
How could it be?
The most innocent out of all them had been-
No…
Blood rushed to her head and she felt the anger return.
How could anyone even dare to hurt her Princess?
But that was the thing, wasn't it?
Usagi had been hurt countless times. In their fights to save the world, by her enemies, by her friends, by so many.
And Makoto had never protected her.
And she called herself a friend?
Who was she kidding?
Makoto grit her teeth as she whirled on Rei, "Why didn't she tell us?"
"He threatened Shingo and Chibi-Usa…" Rei said, looking as if she wasn't ripping down the world Makoto had so shakily built around herself.
"But we're the Sailor Senshi, she had to know we would have protected them," Ami said from the corner, sounding disbelieving. She was in denial, Makoto thought.
"Well, obviously not," Makoto spat
Makoto looked around at the others, Minako had slid to the floor and was staring blankly towards the view, tears sparkling in her eyes. Rei was still standing, frozen in her spot, her features frozen in pain. Mamoru was sobbing into the floor; his cries so soft yet filled with so much more pain than she had ever thought could be put into cries. She had never seen him cry. But she guessed that the only thing that could make him cry was Usagi. The one he loved more than anything else.
She had always wanted a love like Usagi and Mamoru had. But now, she just couldn't see it. There was no place in the world for love like that.
Ami's visage cracked at Makoto's words, but she didn't cry, "We have to find her"
"What is there to find?" Makoto snapped, "The Silver Crystal is gone. The one connection we have to her is gone"
"What is wrong with you?" Ami retorted, "So, if we hit a little snag, you're willing to just give up?" She was fuming and Makoto fumed back. It was weird, fighting with Ami. Ami was the calm one. She rarely ever rose; it was against her collected nature. For Makoto, it was a part of her blood to fight.
"You call this a little snag?" Makoto spat, "I wouldn't want to know what you call an ultimate stop then"
"At least I'm thinking of doing something for her!" Ami snapped, "Instead of just sitting down and saying it's hopeless"
"It is hopeless!" Makoto spat, pushing off from the wall she had been leaning on and striding towards Ami, "It was hopeless the second we received these shit henshin" and she took her henshin and threw it to the ground at Ami's feet, "What has it brought us, except for pain?"
Ami watched it clutter to the ground with a disbelieving look on her face, "This has nothing to do with that," she hissed, looking back at Makoto, "You're just angry because you didn't protect Usagi"
"We never protect Usagi," Makoto said angrily, looking around at the other girls and Mamoru, "How many times has she gotten hurt trying to protect us? How many times has she died for us?"
"Well, this time she didn't do that, did she? This time it wasn't us who hurt her!" Ami retorted just as angrily, "It was her cousin, and now you're dooming her to that fate? Great friend you are!"
Red flashed before Makoto's eyes and she snapped. She drew to her full height, pushing Ami back roughly, "Take that back!"
"Why should I?" Ami snapped, falling to the floor as the push pushed her to the ground, "You're so willing to give up on saving her, hey, maybe you can go have a party now that she's gone." The sarcasm in Ami's tone hurt Makoto more than she thought it could.
Makoto fumed above her, her body shaking as Ami's words hit their mark, "I'm not willing, I'm realistic. At least I'm not living in a dream world where everyone lives happily ever after!"
Ami stood slowly, keeping her distance from Makoto, "And at least I don't just leave my friend at the hands of a rapist!"
Rei stepped in between the two of them as Makoto stepped forward, her hand raised dangerously at Ami, "STOP IT!"
She looked from Makoto and Ami, "Stop it! Why the hell are you fighting each other? Usagi's the one in danger and you two are going at it as if she's gone!"
"At least we didn't hide what was happening to her," Makoto spat at Rei, turning on her as fury flashed through her. She needed to get it out, and that was just what she did. "How long did you know, Rei? Thought you'd wait till something like this happened before you told us?"
"She begged me on hands and knees not to tell all of you!" Rei hissed, "You manage to say no to that, then you can insult me"
"You should have had bigger balls, Rei- or any," Makoto retorted, "You managed to get her into this mess single-handedly, so why don't you-"
Rei stepped to her, and a slap rung around Makoto's head and the courtyard as pain seared across her cheek, "Don't you dare blame me! I didn-"
"SHUT UP!" came the shrill scream from the corner, and they immediately turned to look at Minako, "JUST SHUT UP!"
Makoto opened her mouth, her nostrils flaring in anger. "Don't you tell me to-"
"LOOK AT US FOR GOD'S SAKE!" Minako screamed, standing up, the tears still rolling down her face, "We crumble the first second she's out of the picture! Maybe this is why she has to do all the work! Because at the first sign of trouble, we split and fight amongst ourselves!"
Makoto deflated, the anger draining suddenly from her. Minako was right…
"We have to change that! Now!" Minako said, glaring at the three of them, "Or we'll never save Usagi!"
*
Usagi lay awake through the night, her sobs never-ending. It was daybreak when she heard the door open again. Her eyes were closed, tears leaking and she didn't do anything to change it. He didn't deserve any recognition.
She had never thought he would break the Silver Crystal. How could he, a mortal, break the all-powerful crystal? But it was her fault. She shouldn't have brought it with her. Of course he would have found it and taken it away from her. It was the only thing that separated the two of them. And he was willing to do anything to bring her down to his level.
Well, he may just have succeeded.
"I know you're awake," his voice said from the door
She didn't respond. Why should she?
"Say something," he commanded. There was emotion in his voice and she could hear the hint of sorrow. But overriding it was the joy at seeing her debunked.
She heard the steps coming towards her. She knew she should cringe or react in some way, which was what her common sense was telling her. But she didn't. Just lay still.
Her eyes opened slowly as she felt his stare, but she didn't look at him. She stared above, at the pastel colored ceiling, her eyes not even attempting to stem the tears falling from them.
"Do as I tell you," he hissed as he seized her arm and pulled harshly. Her body was yanked upwards till she was sitting, her eyes level with his chest. He bent down till he was level with her, looking deeply into her eyes. She stared back, nothing within her mind. Common sense once again told her to glare, or blink, or do something. But she didn't.
"Snap out of it!" he roared as he shook her by the shoulders, "Bunny!" There was another hint of emotion in his cold voice. This one was concern. He was concerned that he had lost his power over her, wasn't he?
She felt her mouth do the only thing it could. She gathered the spit and released it, right onto his cheek. He stared at her, a blank look on his face as he wiped it away. It was the longest he had taken before giving her the punishment for fighting back. In a way, she liked it- but in another she regretted it. She wanted the pain. Maybe the pain would wake her up from this horrible nightmare.
Then sense returned to his cold green eyes and he backhanded her, sending her sprawling through the room. That was the hardest he had ever slapped her and she could feel the pain. But she ignored it; it wasn't anything. It just meant she was living…
"You are mine, now," he spat, "You are not going to get away. You will respect me, or you will suffer"
She turned to look at him from her place on the floor, feeling the bruise on her face aching as if from another life, "I am not yours. And I will never be. You lost your power over me when you destroyed the vantage you had over me. So think again, cousin," her voice was emotionless except the few words she stressed, "Do what you want, but I will get away. And I will destroy you for what you have taken from me."
Shock flitted across his features, but was gone in no time. He smiled, "We'll see about that. You're powerless now, more than you were before. There's nothing you can do to save yourself"
"We will see," she retorted coldly
He was up in the blink of an eye, seizing her from the ground and yanking her to her the bed violently.
She smacked him as hard as she could and she felt him flinch. It was the strongest hand she had ever raised at him. And she hit him again. And again.
She slapped, punched and kicked him harder than she ever had. More than she had ever done to anyone- be she Sailor Moon or not.
He held her still after taking a few of her hits, flinching harshly as each hit him. She struggled in his arms trying harder than she ever remembered trying.
That was what Chibi-Usa would have wanted her to do.
Chibi-Usa…
His hand flashed to his pocket, whipping out the knife he had with him in the house yesterday.
Had it only been yesterday? When Chibi-Usa had been safe in her arms?
He placed it against her neck as he, with extreme difficulty, straddled her on the bed, holding her still with his other hand- or as still as he could.
"There's one thing I have that you don't," he spat from above her, "I have power. I could slide this across your neck like butter- and it'd all be over"
She laughed coldly, her body shaking horrendously from pain, laughter, fury and horror, "And kill me, Scott? You'd kill me?"
Something flashed through his eyes and told her the answer she already knew. He'd never kill her. She held that power over him. Despite how much he hated her, he never wanted her dead.
He didn't respond and the knife left her neck, sliding over her shirt, slicing through it with ease.
Her shirt fell in tatters around her.
"I may not be able to kill you," he whispered, looking down at the knife poised above her stomach, "But I can hurt you"
And he made a slash across her stomach, making her seize as agony ripped through her.
He hurt her in countless ways continuously, never pausing. But she never once opened her mouth to scream in pain or to cry. She was shut down. He could do as he wanted. But he'd never get a response. Ever.
He finally stopped when there was no energy left in him to hurt her, glaring down at her with hating eyes.
"I'll get everything I can get out of you," he spat as he got up and tottered to the door, "And you'll beg me to end it- but I won't. Because you are mine. To do with as I please"
She didn't respond, staring once more at the pastel-colored ceiling. Black and red spots danced before her eyes as physical pain burned and made her force herself to still. But the scary thing was it was nothing to the pain that was inside of her.
He left the room, slamming the door as hard as he could, causing the room to shake. She waited for her tremors to cease and then sat up, knowing she had to clean her wounds if she wanted to ever be able to move again. Or she just wanted to feel more pain. She wasn't sure anymore what was making her decisions- was it her survivor instinct, or her suicidal part?
She tottered to the other door in the room, knowing it was the bathroom and entered it slowly.
She opened the cabinet and pulled out the necessary items and set to fixing herself up. Her movements were robotic and without thought. Her body was going numb. But she ignored everything and continued caring for her body. She'd need it.
She then continued to the bathtub, barely looking at the window. It would be locked or covered, no doubt. She opened the water, allowing the warm water to flow into the tub. Waiting till it was half-filled, she entered it slowly, allowing the heat to settle deep in her bones. Her eyes closed as she leaned against the back of the tub, waiting for the physical pain to eke away.
She seized as the water hit the cuts, pulling her beneath the water. She welcomed the silence, even though the pain increased. Her heart pounded dangerously, trying to tell her to wake up, to get out of the tub.
But her mind refused.
What was life worth anymore?
There was no Chibi-Usa, no promise of a loving future.
A whisper came from the back of her mind and a thought flitted to her. But Mamoru!
She flailed, trying to pull herself up, but her hands weren't strong enough to support her anymore and they couldn't pull her up.
It was over.
She'd finally be leaving the world.
Her eyes fluttered, maybe she could stay with Chibi-Usa, wherever she was…
Scott threw a beer bottle, watching it shatter against the floor of the kitchen, the alcohol spilling from the pieces.
He had made her hurt so much. She could probably barely walk. Barely move.
He had done it to prove a point. He could do whatever he wanted to do to her from now on. He didn't need to hide, to hold himself back or worry that someone would find out. She was his.
His stomach growled as he smelled rather than saw the scrumptious food before him. But he couldn't eat, not when he was so full with hurting her. But Bunny probably hadn't eaten for hours. He couldn't see her eating when she had been worrying for Chibi-Usa's safety. So that would mean she hadn't digested anything for…for 24 HOURS!
He grabbed the plate of food and walked to the bedroom, planning on forcing it down if she didn't take it. He needed her healthy if he planned on keeping her here for a long time.
He entered the room and a gasp slipped from his lips. The plate dropped from his hands. She wasn't in the bed. Without a second thought he went flying to the bathroom, knowing what was happening.
He jumped into the tub, pulling her out, his heart thudding uproariously, filling his ears.
She coughed and spluttered as her head emerged, her body shaking with tremors, "Mamoru?" she coughed
"No," he said coldly, "Not Mamoru"
He wanted nothing more than to pound something- but he didn't. He tenderly stepped out of the tub and, grabbing the towels, began to dry the girl in his arms.
She was shivering at his touch, but her hand on his arm was warm, and he felt the touch was a sort of connection. She was grateful he had saved her. Or she would have fought with him to fall. But she hadn't.
He was grateful for that.
He didn't want her to die.
He needed her.
Being with her was…it was like a drug. He'd do anything to keep her with him. Even if it meant he had to force her every inch of the way, he'd do it.
And in the end, that was what he was doing. Destroying her only way to defend herself had cinched the deal. He was now labeled as her destroyer. Or had he been the second he had taken her virginity?
He just couldn't stop himself when it came to her. It was as if his body took over whenever she was in his vicinity and all he could do was watch in horror –but mostly joy- as it took whatever it pleased.
And he enjoyed it, which was all it came down to. He was selfish, he knew that. Usagi, his Bunny, belonged to the world. But all he wanted to do was make her belong to him. And he would.
He finished drying her and then continued to treat her wounds. She had obviously cleaned them up, but he wrapped them carefully. She was unconscious by the time he was finished, her head lolling backwards in a way that didn't look safe.
He stared down at her in his arms for a long time before he sighed and carried her back into the room, setting her down on the black silk sheets softly. She moaned and cringed away from his touch in her unconscious state.
"Chibi-usa…" she whispered softly before she mumbled incoherently, a look of immense pain and horror passing over her face, twisting her features into something darker than he was used to.
He had been confounded when the driver had shown up and reported that there hadn't been a Chibi-Usa to pick up and drop off. He had thought she had run away at first, and had scoured the neighborhood for her- but no Chibi-Usa.
The way Bunny was acting, it was almost like Chibi-Usa had died. It must have had something to do with the broach that he had destroyed. He hadn't thought that there would have been such implications for destroying that thing- but apparently there had been.
But he couldn't bring himself to care that Chibi-Usa was gone. She was just one less person to have to deal with. He pulled the comforter over Bunny's pale form, lost in his thoughts as he mindlessly stroked her face, his hand skimming over the now purplish bruise over her jaw.
He'd go to the ends of the world to keep her and he sure as hell wasn't letting go of her now that he had her.
Okay, wanted to do a really quick update (it was so not quick- the editing took ages . ) before I died off. I'm exhausted, and unfortunately this means review replies will be a little late. But don't think I didn't read them (or that I didn't love them) because I totally did! I'll do it as soon as possible! Promise!
But don't forget to react to this chapter! Lots of hard work went into it, and one of the main ways it's repaid is by reviews. So, you know, REVIEW!
