Chapter 5:

9:30 AM

Seras sank onto her bed and fell asleep. (A/N: Great beginning, I know.)

8:00 PM

Alucard cackled quietly as he snuck into his room. Seras lay asleep in his coffin with the lid wide open. He bent down over her, held his face an inch away from her own, and waited.

8:05 PM

Seras woke up slowly. Her eyelids fluttered and she became aware of another presence in the room. She stopped fluttering her eyelids, as the coolness effect of just waking up from a refreshing nap had worn off.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed in such a high voice that a window two stories up shattered. Shortly after this amazing scream came the maniacal sound of a male vampire laughing his head off while being in a female vampire's body. Shortly after this sound was the wince making noise of a person being struck heavily across the face.

Once, Alucard had reanimated himself he glared at Seras. "You didn't have to hit so hard," he said rubbing his once broken neck.

Seras looked embarrassed. "I forgot my strength."

Alucard rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Just get up. Miss. Integra has been kind enough to agree to giving our weapons back," he said in a tone of voice that is usually reserved for Christmas.

Seras eyed him concernedly. "…Yay?"

"Yes! It's marvelous! Wonderful! AMAZING! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!" he cackled.

"Are you ok?" asked Seras still eyeing him concernedly.

"I'm hopped up on the Q," he responded giggling madly and hopping up and down to prove his point.

"Ya….let's…uh…'fetch our weapons'," she said slowly. The two then proceeded to leave the basement room and head upstairs to fetch their weapons. Or so Alucard thought.

"This isn't Integra's office," remarked Alucard very confused while glancing around at the padded interior of the room he was in.

"She had it renovated," stated Seras casually inching towards the door, "Why don't you just wait here while I go fetch her."

"Ok," said Alucard completely trusting and plopped down onto the padded floor and began singing campfire songs. Seras' eye twitched and she quickly left slamming shut the door and locking it tightly.

Just stay there until you're not hyper, anymore, she said to him.

NOOOOOOOO!!! he howled, NOT THE……………PSYCH WARD!!!!!!! With that repeated slamming noises were heard from the inside of the room. Seras winced.

That's gotta hurt. Almost as if he had heard this thought a loud whimper of pain resounded down the hallway.

"I hate your body! It's too weak!!!!!!!!" he cried and Seras angrily turned and marched away.

Pip came out of the shadows and eyed Alucard's retreating back before putting his ear to the psych ward's door.

"I love you. You love me! We're a happy family!" sang Seras' voice happily. Pip furrowed his brow. "I want to watch Barney!"

Pip couldn't take it anymore and he threw open the door. There was complete silence for a moment or too as the two stared at each other. Seras (Alucard) had her bra around her head like a bandana and was wearing one shoe as a glove.

"AIEEEEE!" she (he) cried suddenly with a fierce expression on her face. He then began to rapidly strike Pip with his other shoe which had somehow yanked of his foot in record time.

Pip screamed loudly. "Get away from meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!" And then he died. Haha. Just kidding. He grabbed the boot from Alucard's hand.

"Hey give it back, you big meanie," exclaimed Alucard with a childlike pout etched on his features. Pip's eye twitched much like Seras' had and he threw the boot to the other side of the room after which Alucard chased after it much like a dog. Pip then turned and ran screaming from the room though not forgetting to close and lock the door first.

שּﭏשּ

Seras quietly knocked on Sir Integra's door. She waited until she heard a quiet voice say "Come in." before entering the office.

Walter looked at Seras and literally saw Alucard. "Well, hello Alucard. Long time no see." He said smiling a friendly smile. Seras, who had forgotten who's body she was in, glanced behind her nervously.

"Oh…hi," she said once she figured out who he was talking to.

"Could you excuse us for a moments, Walter?" asked Sir Integra seeing the strained expression on 'Alucard's' face.

"Of course," replied Walter graciously and he quickly exited the room.

"What's wrong, Seras?" questioned Integra once the door had shut.

"It's Alucard, ma'am. He somehow managed to swallow some Nesquick and is now extremely hyper. I have him locked in the psych ward," answered Seras worriedly.

"How on earth did he get Nesquick?" asked Sir Integra looking very confused.

"I don't know, Sir," responded Seras.

"Hm…WALTER!" Integra cried suddenly. Not a minute later Walter came rushing into the room.

"Yes, Sir Integra?"

"Do you by any chance happen to know how….'Seras'….managed to get a hold of Nesquick?" Integra questioned furrowing her brow. (A/N: Haha. I just had to say that.)

"I'm afraid not, ma'am," Walter replied not looking entirely truthful.

"Walter…."

"All right, all right. Naillil from Miss. Nagrom's story Creatures of the Night dared me too….so it's not my fault."

Integra rolled her eyes. "Not those two, AGAIN. How many times have I told them to stay in their own story?! It's annoying me…"

"What do we do about Seras, Sir?" asked the ever-present vampire.

"Leave her in the psych ward, I suppose. What else can we do?" responded Integra.

Walter and 'Alucard' exchanged a glance and then shrugged simultaneously.

"Good. Then clear out I have some paper work to do." Walter rushed out of the room to fetch tea and Seras shuffled slowly back to the psych ward.

שּﭏשּ

"Camp town ladies sing this song, doo-da, doo-da. Camp town ladies sing this song doo-da, doo-da day," sang Alucard brightly while braiding his hair. He liked Nesquick. It made him happy. "Beavers!" He began singing again. "Beavers one, beavers all, lets all do the beaver call! Whee!"

Finishing his braid, he began to attempt spinning on his head. All of his hair had been converted into tiny braids and they flew about wildly as he succeeded in the break dancing.

A sharp knock rang around the room. Alucard whipped around and crouched low to the ground with his eyes narrowed. "Who is it?" he called suspiciously.

"The Dali Lama," answered Seras sarcastically (A/N: Maybe she met Naillil?).

"Mister Dali!!!" cried Alucard happily, "I sure have missed you."

Once again Seras' eye twitched. She slowly opened the door and peeked inside. "Oh my," she breathed when she saw his hair.

"Hey! You're not Mister Dolly!!!" pouted Alucard.

"Er…no," responded Seras.

"KEN AND BARBIE TOGETHER FOREVER!" Alucard screamed so loudly that Seras momentarily passed out. She awoke once again to find her self bending over her.

"I hate you," she said calmly. Then she turned on her heel and once again left the room, but she made a terrible mistake. She forgot to lock the door….

To Be Continued