A/N: Unfortunately, this will be the last chapter of Sercard and Aluas. While I did have fun writing this story for a time, it has become tedious for me. I hope that you all find the ending satisfactory and thank you very much for the dedication many of you showed me. I appreciate every one of the reviews I have received and am genuinely sorry to have to end the fun.
I will, of course, be writing more fanfictions, some of which are bound to be focused on Hellsing. I did recently start a Naruto fanfiction that I hope to make a few chapters. My list of story ideas is still looked at, and many of those stories I have started.
I really must thank you for sticking with me for the past three and a half years. I can't believe it's been so long. I really learned a lot from you guys.
Thanks so much. I love you all. : )
Dedicated to: Everyone who has ever reviewed this story.
Chapter 11:
Alucard wasn't sure where he was when he first opened his eyes. Somewhere dark and rather cold. He was almost disturbed, but his mind was much too tired to conjure such a complicated emotion.
"Wheremi?" he gurgled vaguely. He had a niggling feeling that this must be a bad place since he could not see, which would be normal for most people but, as he was a vampire, unusual for him. He put his hands up, as to see if maybe he could see something two inches from his face. He immediately learned two things: 1) no he could not see his hand and 2) he was in a box. But not just ANY box, a cryptic box. Wait. Alucard was sure that he had an intimate relationship with large, cryptic boxes…he just wasn't sure what it was.
Suddenly, his foot started tingling like mad. He yelped and shook it. He hated when his feet fell asleep. It was so annoying.
Alucard paused and took a moment to consider that he obviously had blood flow, because a while back he had been cut by Father Anderson and he had tried to force police girl to drink the blood that had leaked from the wound. Police girl! Of course! He was in her body and he had fainted because (blood flooded his undead cheeks) Pip had kissed him. With a gasp, he attempted to sit up. Attempted is the key word, because, of course, he was trapped in the cryptic box.
There was a rather large slam followed by an intense course of cursing the box, the box's mother, the box's grandmother, and whoever had put in him in the box. In fact, if he had been, say, Harry Potter, all aforementioned things would surely be cowering in fear as boils sprang onto their skin, frogs sprang from their mouths, and burning rain sprang from the sky.
Alucard, being rather bright, managed to open the box and, with some difficulty, clambered out. As quickly as the Flash getting into bed when his mother knocked on his door at three in the morning, he realized what the box was. A coffin! It made sense; of course he would be in a coffin, being a vampire and all. He smirked with pleasure at his discovery and then peered around, attempting to discover where he was.
The room he was currently in was just as dark and cool as the coffin had been and, for some odd reason, quiet, soothing music that mimicked a babbling brook seemed to be flowing from invisible speakers. Disregarding those factors, the room was rather comfortable. Whatever he was kneeling on (a result of the difficulty clambering out) was quite squishy and seemed a wonderful place to bounce on. The only matter was, where WAS this place?
An odd whirring noise came from the corner of the room. It was the sort of noise one heard right before large, flickering lights that lined a mysterious hallway flicked on. Sure enough, a very small amount of light suddenly flooded from a small chink in that wall. It seemed that there was a door there. Alucard slid himself across the ground to the door (his legs didn't seem to be working to well and the pins-and-needles feeling was getting most annoying). He lifted his hand and felt around for a knob. For some strange reason, the door seemed to lack one.
"Hello?" he called hoarsely. There was no answer, except for some scuffling and a quick, whispered discussion. "Hello?" he said again.
"Erm…hi, Alucard," came a familiar voice, "How're you feeling?"
"Oh, all right," replied Alucard cheerfully, "My foot's asleep, but other than that, everything's swell. Oh, hey, could you help me out? I can't find the handle to the door."
"Well, I'm glad you're doing well, but I can't let you out, not yet. See, you've had a massive mental breakdown…"
"Oh, stop messing around, Walter. Me? Mental breakdown? Please." Unfortunately, at that moment he had a rather vivid flashback of him on his knees, screaming at the heavens and sobbing in a very distraught manner, "Oh wait…maybe, I did…kind of…have a breakdown."
Walter felt that now would be a good time to open the door and chuck in Alucard's meal. So he did so. Or attempted to, anyway. Alucard, being a tricky bastard, managed to slam his unfeeling foot into the door and send it ricocheting away. Immediately Alucard was on his feet. About a second later he was on the floor cursing his feet. He finally managed to crawl out of the psych ward (for, of course, that's where he had been), and proceeded down the hallway like this.
Because of the exact angle to the door that Walter had been standing at, he was now stone cold on the floor. He would remain like this for several hours before anyone noticed he was missing. No one knew he was down there, because the whispered discussion he had been having, had been held with himself.
Meanwhile, Alucard took twenty minutes to climb up the stairs, not realizing that he could, in fact, feel his feet again. Every member of the Wild Geese he passed figured that this must be an extraordinarily fun new game. After all, how often to you see the pretty girl vampire crawling on the floor?
Unfortunately, there then came the time when one of the people he passed while on his hands and knees was none other than Sir Integra herself. Needless to say, she was not at all pleased with the position she found Alucard in. Especially since she could see two Wild Geese with a camera (that looked suspiciously similar to the one she had used to photograph Alucard and a certain pickle) aimed directly at Alucard's pretty vampire-girl behind.
"Oy! Get out of here you bloody perverts!" she roared at them. The Geese gulped and ran away yelling useless apologies over their shoulders. "And you," Integra growled, turning her fearsome stare to Alucard, "What the hell are you doing on the floor?"
Alucard beamed up at her, "Can't feel my feet."
Integra rolled her eyes, "Get up."
Alucard did so, being very surprised that he could, in fact, feel his feet and that his knees were very sore. He stared at them for a moment in astonishment before turning his innocent gaze to Sir Integra. The fact that she was now taller than him bothered him immensely. He missed his body. He missed being able to leer down at her and make her feel hot and bothered. Not that he had to try to do that.
"I can feel them again," he informed her politely.
She rolled her eyes again, "You are a complete moron. You know that?"
"Well, I suppose I do now. But, I never thought of my IQ as being particularly diminished in any way, though I presume it really depends on one's perspecti-"
"It was a rhetorical question," she interrupted him in annoyance.
He nodded his head politely, "Excuse me then. Though I must inform you, interrupting is considered quite rude in most areas of the worl-"
"Oh, shut it," she barked irritatedly, waving her hand at him. He frowned. She did not care much about this and promptly brushed past him and stalked away. Alucard's frown deepened.
"She wouldn't have done that if I was in my proper body," he muttered darkly.
"Seras?" came a voice from down the hall.
Alucard looked up, saw who it was, then turned and ran as fast as physically possible. Which, seeing as he was a vampire, was quite fast.
Pip stared after him, "Am I zat bad at kissing?"
שּﭏשּ
Seras Victoria was seriously contemplating suicide. She thought of the various ways she could do it with a very calm demeanor. It was not until she realized that, being a vampire, suicide was much more difficult, that she lost her composure.
"Why?!" she screamed at nothing in particular.
Of course, she was then reminded of her new manliness. This did not help her general depression and it put even more of a damper on her thoughts of suicide. Everyone would have believed that Alucard had killed himself and Alucard would forever be trapped in her body. This would make him angry. Seras was very scared of making him angry. She knew that if anyone could reach into the afterlife and torment someone from earth, it would be him.
Being Alucard's body brought up another good point. Could she even kill herself? Alucard was immortal after all. After her encounter with Father Anderson, she knew that being stabbed through the heart would not kill her. However, she was unsure about whether or not willfully taking her life would have any affect. She was tempted to test it, but her fear of succeeding and brining Alucard's wrath upon her stayed her hand.
"This sucks," she growled, staring at a stone wall. The wall said nothing. Seras sighed deeply. "What did Pip have to go kissing him for anyway?"she mused aloud. This, of course, was the reason she had been considering suicide. "It's not like he was being particularly seductive or anything. Screaming for his hat like a great twat." She frowned.
Suddenly, there was a rather loud pounding on the door.
"Seras! Seras! Open up!" cried her own voice. She glowered at the door.
"Why should I?" she replied irritably.
"Because he's after me! Please!" Alucard screamed. Seras rolled her eyes and strolled over to the door. She opened and stared as Alucard tumbled through and landed face-first on the ground with a rather loud smack. This did not seem to faze him for he simply began to do the worm to get out of the doorway. Seras blinked and closed the door after him.
"Who's after you?" she asked when Alucard had finally stood up and brushed himself off.
"Pip, of course," Alucard replied with mild surprise, "Who else?"
Seras's glower immediately returned.
"Maybe I should go," said Alucard, noticing her expression. Seras nodded briskly.
Alucard spun on his heel and exited the room, heading off to the chamber that Seras usually inhabited. It felt weird being kicked out of his own room. He really wished that he could have his own body back. This whole punishment thing was really getting old.
He reached the room and stepped inside. For a moment he just stood there and looked around. He could not shake the oddest feeling. He felt as though something great was ending, and this made him undeniably depressed.
He eyed the bed in the corner and decided that he would sleep his problems away. He strolled over to the bed and lay down and within minutes, was fast asleep.
שּﭏשּ
Alucard woke with a start, covered in sweat. He had just had the strangest dream. In it, he had been put into Seras's body, while she was put into his. He quickly clambered out of his coffin and looked down to check that he really was in the right body.
With a sigh he noticed that everything was perfect.
"Good," he muttered, "Because that would be awful."
At that moment Sir Integra's voice rang through the manor.
"ALUCARD!" she screamed.
"Yes, master?" he replied, appearing through the floor of her office. He was impossibly relieved that he could still do that.
"I'm sick of your childish games, Alucard," Integra said while glancing at papers on her desk. "I'm afraid I'll have to punish you."
Alucard frowned. Why did that seem familiar? "Punish?" he asked with slight hesitation.
Integra gave him a stern look. "Punish," she confirmed.
"And may I ask, how are you going to…uh…'punish' me?" he inquired, fearing what the answer would be.
"You may ask. But I'd rather just show you," she held up the pen and pointed it at Alucard.
Alucard stared. "You're kidding," he said finally.
"Oh, no, I wouldn't dream of it," Integra said rather evilly, "Do you like plants, Alucard?"
"…I suppose so." He was feeling incredibly shaky now. There was no way that this could be happening.
"How 'bout that one?" she gestured to the plant in the corner.
"It's…very pretty…." Alucard murmured. How could this be happening? How? Maybe he could still fix it. "Look, Master, I know I've been really annoying at times and I've given you a lot of trouble, but I really am sorry. I sincerely hope that you'll forgive me." He got down on one knee and bowed his head, praying that she would accept his apology.
Sir Integra said nothing for a time. "Alright," she replied finally, "I will accept your apology. However, if you put one toe out of line, I will not hesitate to teach you a lesson." She fingered the pen lovingly.
Alucard looked up. "Of course, Miss Hellsing. I understand completely."
She nodded. "Good. Now, stay here a moment. I want to show you something."
Alucard nodded once again and stood. She placed the pen carefully on the desk and walked out of the room to get whatever she wanted to show him. Not a minute after she had left, Seras walked in.
"Oh, hello, Alucard," she said, smiling nervously at him. He leered at her for a moment but then, remembering his dream, stopped and gave her a simple smile.
"Hello, Police Girl. How are you today?" he asked kindly.
"Well, enough," she replied looking around, "Do you know where Sir Integra has got off too?"
"Afraid I don't, but she should be back in a minute," Alucard responded watching with slight unease as she walked over to the desk and picked up the pen.
"Oh, this is fancy," Seras murmured, turning it over in her fingers. Alucard nodded and took a step away. "I wonder what this button does." She pointed the pen in Alucard's general direction and pushed the button.
"No!" Alucard cried, but it was too late. A blue light was admitted from the pen and immediately surrounded him. Seras gasped and turned pale. She frantically tried to turn the light off, but only succeeded in turning the beam purple.
After about five minutes, the light stopped and Alucard lay unconscious on the floor. Seras groaned. She heard a thump outside and knew that Sir Integra was on her way back. She swore and looked around for a place to hide Alucard. Quickly, she found a spot and had just tucked him away when Sir Integra entered the room, carrying a small, silver camera.
"Where's Alucard?" she asked, looking about the room vaguely.
"I have no idea," replied Seras.
The plant next to her rustled its leaves angrily.
"Oh well," Integra shrugged, "So, what do you need?"
"Well, Sir. It's the Wild Geese…"
שּﭏשּ
The End.
