The Prodigal Son

James whistled under his breath as he bounced the tennis ball against the floor. Hunter and his family were set to arrive at any moment and he couldn't be any happier. "Stacy?" he called out.

"Yeah?" she replied. She was in the bathroom, putting the finishing touches on her makeup.

"Did Cactus ever put my knife back in my room?" He had decided to be nice for once and let the simple minded, deranged madman use one of his many hunting knives. Why he had made that decision was beyond him. It had just felt like the thing to do at the time.

"James, I have enough problems keeping track of my own possessions in this house! How am I supposed to know what other people do to your stuff?"

"Don't get all snotty with me! I was just asking a simple question!" Muttering under his breath, he decided to just go look for himself. On his way, he got a mouthful of hairspray because Morrison decided to spray that shit right in the hallway. "What the fuck was that for?" he asked as he wiped his tongue off on his shirt.

Morrison shrugged. "Sorry, but Stacy was hogging my bathroom."

"So go use another one, you feathered haired twat!" James smacked him on the back of the head before continuing his quest to his room. When he got there, he was happy to see that his knife was right where Cactus had been ordered to put it back. "At least someone here knows not to lose my things," he muttered.

The doorbell rang. "I GOT IT!" Miz shouted at the top of his lungs. Just seconds later, there was a loud crashing sound. "OW! SON OF A BITCH! WHO LEFT THOSE SHOES HERE?"

James sighed and shook his head. Fucking idiot must have tripped again. "You probably did, you dumbass!" he yelled as he left his bedroom. Honestly, Miz was so fucking stupid that he could hardly stand it.

The company that had been expected was just coming in as James got to the living room. Hunter and Stephanie were arm in arm, looking as hopelessly in love as ever. It was kind of sickening. Mickie and Maria looked like they were about to make out, which was fucking hot. And Phil was pulling in two newbies that…no…it couldn't be…but it was. It definitely was.

"James, this is Matt and Jeff Hardy," Phil introduced. Either he was completely oblivious to the look on James's face or James was hiding it better than he thought he was. "They're my two new little brothers."

Matt frowned. "I'm older than you dumbass."

Oh yeah, he's definitely Mark's child, he thought to himself. There's no mistaking that.

Phil shrugged. "Don't bore me with details Hardy. I don't have the patience for them."

Jeff stepped forward and looked at James closely. James kept his expression as neutral as possible, but on the inside, he was almost freaking out. His son, his incestuous love child that he had never met before in his life, was standing right in front of him. And not only that, but he had to be a killer to be running around with Hunter and Stephanie. Annabelle is probably rolling over in her grave right now. She never wanted this.

"I like your eyes," Jeff said. "Can I cut them out and play with them?"

"No," James replied. "I like them where they are right now."

"Why?"

"Because I do."

"Oh." Jeff looked back at Matt. "I'm bored," he complained. "Entertain me."

Matt rolled his eyes. "Entertain yourself Jeffro. I need to take a break from you for awhile."

Jeff pouted and looked at James hopefully. "Do you want to go kill someone with me? I'm really good at it."

James could pretty much hear Annabelle yelling in his head about how he shouldn't do that. But he shut that voice up pretty quickly. He had never truly listened to her all that much when she had been alive, and he wasn't about to start after she had been dead for so long. "Okay," he said.

Jeff cheered and grabbed James by the hand. "Come on. I want to go find someone pretty. Do you know anyone pretty around here?"

"I know some hookers are pretty if you look at them in the dark," James said. "Does that work for you at all?"

Jeff shrugged. "It'll work. I wanted to take a hostage with me here but Hunter said no. He's mean like that."

"Yes, he's such an ass," James said, smirking at the look on Hunter's face when he said that. "No offense or anything."

"Go to hell James," Hunter replied.

James laughed and followed Jeff out the front door. It felt really weird to be out there with his son, but he didn't plan on actually revealing that fact. He had just met the boy and he wasn't about to put the both of them in that awkward situation.

"Oooh, there they are!" Jeff said excitedly. They had turned into an alley and found three hookers standing there. "Pretty girls! Come play with Jeffey!"

"Okay maybe we should--holy shit!" James said. He just watched as Jeff got his knife right out and slit one of the hooker's throat. Blood started going everywhere and the other two women started screaming, but they didn't keep doing it for long. Jeff stabbed one of them in the chest and the other one in the stomach before anyone's attention could really be grabbed. "Well I'll be damned," James muttered. "The kid is a chip off the old block."

Jeff looked at the damage he had done and then grinned at James. "What do you think?"

James grinned. "I think you and I are going to get along just fine kid."