Girl (and Jeff) Time
"This is nice," Stephanie said. She, Mickie, Maria and Jeff were sitting out on the back porch eating ice cream. "It's been forever since we've gotten the boys to give us some alone time."
"But I'm with you and I'm a boy," Jeff pointed out. About half of his ice cream had ended up on his face and shirt instead of in his mouth.
"Yeah, but you're different sweetheart," Stephanie reminded him. She grabbed a napkin and wiped his face off. "You are our baby, so you were allowed to stay."
Jeff giggled. "I'm the baby, gotta love me. Don't you wish you were my mommy..."
Maria rested her head on Mickie's shoulder. "You do realize he's going to be singing that song all day now, don't you Steph?"
Stephanie shrugged. She thought it was cute when Jeff sang that song. He gave it a much more deranged and evil twist.
"So what are we going to do now?" Mickie asked. She began playing with Maria's hair just a little bit. "I'm bored."
"We could kill someone," Jeff suggested immediately. He literally started bouncing up and down eagerly like a small child.
"We always do that though," Maria pointed out. She looked down at her nails. "I want to do something new."
"We could take over the world," Jeff countered.
The girls considered that option carefully. "That would be different," Mickie admitted. "But it would take too much work. I'm looking for something to do that can get done before wrestling comes on tonight."
Jeff folded his arms over his chest. "Nobody ever does what I want to do! You guys are so mean to me!"
Stephanie patted him on the shoulder. "Sorry honey. We'll make it up to you eventually." She looked around, trying to find some inspiration for what to do in the scenery around them. She didn't see anything that gave her a good idea, so she sighed and looked down. Suddenly she was struck by an idea. "Boobies," she said out loud.
The others all looked at her in surprise. "What?" they all said at the same time.
She quickly got up and ran back into the house. "We need booze," she announced as they followed her. "Lots and lots of booze."
"For what?" Mickie asked. "I'm completely and totally confused right now. You have to help us out here Steph."
"I want to make a Girls Gone Wild video," Stephanie said. She went into the kitchen and went striaght to the cabinet Hunter kept the alcohol. "We can make this video and then we can sell it and make a whole bunch of money. Hunter's been complaining that I've been spending too much of his money. He says I need to make some of my own." She took out a bottle of whiskey and looked at it. "Although I'm going to need a lot of this stuff to get rid of my self respect so I can run around topless on camera."
"Why can't we just kill someone and take their money?" Maria asked. "What's wrong with that plan?"
"You were the one who said we needed to do something different," Mickie poined out. She eyed the bottle of whiskey with interest. "And this would definitely be different."
Jeff looked at all of them like they were crazy. "Why do you need to drink to run around topless?" He removed his own shirt and threw it down to the ground. "Look at me. I'm topless right now and I didn't need to drink anything."
Stephanie laughed just a little bit. Jeff was so clueless about some things. "Honey, it's different when girls go topless," she explained. "We don't just take our shirts off and run around like you boys do."
"Why not? Have you ever considered the fact that the world would be a better place if you did?"
"Now how do you argue with that logic?" Mickie asked. She gave Jeff a hug. "That's why I love you Jeffro. You're so awesome."
Jeff grinned. "You're not the momma, but you're awesome too."
Stephanie unscrewed the lid to the whiskey bottle and drank some straight out of the bottle. It burned her throat as it went down, and she began coughing widly. "Coke," she gasped out. "Somebody grab me some Coke."
Maria ran over to the fridge and opened it. "All we have is Pepsi," she said.
"Then give me that then!" Stephanie snapped impatiently. She just needed something to wash the whiskey down with or she was going to get sick.
Maria quickly grabbed a can of Pepsi out of the fridge and handed it to Stephanie. Stephanie quickly opened it and chugged a good quarter of it in one drink.
"Phil is gonna get mad," Jeff said knowingly. "That's his Pepsi. He said we weren't allowed to touch it."
"I don't give a damn what Phil said," Stephanie said. She shook her head a little bit. She had taken such a large drink of the whiskey that it had made her feel kind of tipsy. "Phil will just have to deal with it. Now is anyone else going to join me in this quest in getting drunk and making a topless video?"
Mickie and Maria both exchanged looks before shrugging and getting Pepsis of their own. "What the hell?" Mickie said. "It's not like we have anything else better to do."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Four hours later
"I thought Stephanie said we were supposed to stay away for the whole day," Matt said. "It's not even dinner time yet."
Hunter just shrugged. He knew that his wife wanted girl (and Jeff) time, but he didn't give a damn at the moment. He had been with Phil and Matt long enough. The two younger men had been driving him nuts because they had gotten into an argument about which was better: Transformers or G.I. Joes. It was a completely pointless and annoying argument and Hunter couldn't take it anymore. He needed the sanity that Stephanie could provide him. "She'll just have to deal," he said as he unlocked the door and led his "sons" into the house. "I'm sure--oh my God!"
Stephanie was completely hammered out of her mind and she was clumsily holding his video camera. It looked like she was trying to record Maria and Mickie, who were having sex on the living room floor. A Metallica song was playing on the radio and Jeff was on the couch, dancing to the sound but not exactly keeping to the beat of the song.
"Wow," Matt said.
"What the hell is going on?" Hunter asked.
Jeff jumped down from the couch and stumbled over to them. "We were supposed to be girls gone wild," he slurred out. "But then we got drunk and things just went weird from there." He giggled and started falling over, making Matt have to catch him before he hit the ground.
Phil shook his head. "That's it, I'm sticking around next time the girls do girl time. This is awesome."
Hunter nodded. That sounded like an awesome plan in his book.
