"And for the first time in my life, I understand the end of that poem. And I never wanted to. You have to believe me."

*the perks of being a wallflower (Pg. 96)

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Life awake from my dreams was much different.

When I awoke, I never dared sleep again. So I would walk to my kitchen and make coffee. The floor was cold, but I never minded. I liked it, truthfully. The neighbors were asleep. My mother was asleep. She would sleep till five, then leave for six and return after ten. Another stranger in the house. Pipa, the dog, would come down to the kitchen with me. He had realized my routines and wait for me at the bottom of the stairs. I was glad not to be completely alone.

I would bring my small leather-covered journal with me. Maybe my sketch notebook. I would write every detail that was recalled to my mind of the terrible dream, or the pleasant, one that visited me that night. I would draw the faces I remembered, if I could. The only problem was I could never capture a voice. I could never record that, but only hear it taunting me in my head. Sometimes, I could not remember the dreams. Then I would only chew over the rest of my life. The blunt hole within me that only I could see or feel. The burn behind my green eyes. The meaning that was never there, and I want for a name that seemed so important but was none other than a dream.

I would dress like any other teenager because it was important to my mother, and for my sanity, to fit in with everyone. I had many acquaintances and few friends but none I trusted. I had a tendency to fall into a sort of apathetic nature, but my enthusiasm was forever failed to be curbed. People loved me, and I never could figure out why.

When five-thirty came, I readied myself for highschool. I was a sophomore. My hair was black, and it was to my mid forearm. I "shattered" it in spiky layers because that's the best I could do. It fell in front of my eyes because that's what everyone's hair looked like. I didn't mind. At first, I though someone took a weed-hacker to my hair. But now I don't mind. My nails are in a pretty french manicure, just because I like it that way. My jeans are tight which I don't mind. Some people told me, by the way I dress, that I don't belong to a "scene". I do have my own fashion sense in that, honestly. Trends I could never keep with. My makeup was moderately thick framing my shock green eyes. My skin, despite my italian heritage, was a paper pale, which never make sense to me. At times, I wanted the olive glow of my mother, but I the though was always quickly avoided by my detachment from her. Relationships of any kind were hard for me, and often soiled by my own doing by design. I don't know why I did those things sometimes.

It seemed I also was looking for love. Or passion. Which I did find, might I say. Always disgusted in myself when I did. But there was no wrong in it. Everyone who has ever been a teenager feels passion, right? Or love? Makes that mistake? But I know the difference, for I am an old soul. But I still looked for the passion, the kiss. Yet to be found.

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Three a.m: coffee. Pipa. Listening to Joan (mother) leave. Silence. Sigh.

Five thirty. Late spring. Skinny jean's, Star Trek tee, and nike's. Hair down. Did I mention I have multiple piercing? Five on the right ear, four on the left. Picture it how you like, I don't care. It's all just a hole in my skin. I have a belly button ring. A nose stud. It's what happens. Spur of the moments. I can really act normal, be normal, sometimes. They were all mostly Stella's idea. She has fewer than I do ironically. I wear a belt, whatever I pick up, with the shirt. Maybe grab a sweatshirt on the run outside.

I'm ready by six- fifteen. Leaving the large, new empty home, I walk down the long hill to the end of the new development. House by enormous house. I don't mind big. But they feel so unlive in. So empty and needing a good warm family party. Many holidays. Problems, and some running down. Weathered by time, but not eroded. But hey were new. They echoed. They were showcase houses. Everyone loved them, but I couldn't. I just lived their.

I was the only one at my stop.

The bus came on time. I walked lethargically to the back. Everyone would think 'She's tired.' I wasn't. It was only a rare chance to be apathetic. Before I 'awoke'.

In the back; Henry and Jean listened to his Ipod. They 'hated eachother', but it was completely plain that they held a deep passion for one another. Only a matter of time, or never. Sean stared out the window. A friendly person once you got to know him. A close, dear friend since the second grade. Never talked much to others though. Never gave them the time of day, but me and Henry and Joey. Joey talked to some spoiled brat in the front names Kevin. Everyone I knew disliked him and, I have to say, I held quite a disdain for his cocky attitude.

"Didyme!" yelled Alex as I sat with him. He was a freshman unlike the other's I just aptly told you about. I sat with him daily. He was a very comforting person and funny. I put me at ease.

"Hello, Alex," I smiled cheerfully, "How are you today?"

"You know how it is," he said looking forward, now showing tired signs.

"Yeah," I sighed giving a dry laugh, "I know," we road the rest of the way silently.

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We had a half hour before first period. At this point the five of us went our separate ways.

Evan was usually first to find me, but today I walked the long way through the parking lot. The dream the night before disturbed me more than it should have. It was the fire, I suppose. The pretty lady never burned in front of me. Just her ashes.

"I don't like this!" I heard in a hushed whisper.

"Relax, please. It won't be so bad. They don't know anything!" I heard a soft voice reassure the girls. They sounded like angels. Each with a childish ring to the voice. It was coming from behind the row of cars I was passing. They were in the other ile.

"Alec, I don't want to go! This is mad! How would we ever even make friends with anyone, hm?" I heard the girl retort. She sounded nerviest.

"You always did want this." it sounded he meant it more for himself.

I couldn't help it. I walked through the cars to find myself behind them. A girl and a boy. Both with short hair. Anyone would take them as angels. Anyone. Maybe even disturb them. I could have compared then. Most would. "They look like-." I have no wish to. I only walked behind them, and up beside the little girl. Their beauty did not scare me. They're white skin and strange eyes that were the oddest shade of almost violet,

"Don't be nerviest," I smiled as warmly as I could at her. She seemed shocked. They both did really. I laughed lightly. "Highschool isn't scary. I promise. It just looks big. You'll see. It will all work out for the better," I smiled a touched her shoulder lightly before running off to Evan who was standing on the retainer wall next to the school parking lot. I didn't bother look back at their faces, but I hope she's not scared anymore. At least she had her brother, Alec, she called him, to go at it with. I had no one, really. No one but Evan, who took care of me in the maze of hall, lockers, and people. Yet I still felt utterly alone. Missing.

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I turned back, after the strange girl had said something to me. I was shocked she even approached me. I wasn't nerviest. Uh, no, not . . .me! Just, well, I never had done things like this before. I had always been in Volterra. I had always wanted to be a human little girl, lately. Since the 70's. Now I could, to find someone that Aro said was very important to him and to Caius and to Sulpicia and Athenodora. "And she is especially important to Marcus," he had said with such seriousness. Maybe she will fix him.

I looked first to Alec, then back to the black car that dropped us off. The sky held clouds and outside the car stood Sulpicia. Demetri drove because she couldn't, but he did not leave the vehicle. Her eyes seemed very sad but very happy also. She held her hand clasped together in the front of her with a sad smile. Her head only nodded to us, but I didn't understand why. Alec tugged my sleeve and stared in the direction that the girl had just run off to.

"Her" he whispered when he was sure I was looking at the right one.

"That's Didyme?" I questioned. Why was everyone so emotional about her? Why did only Aro, Caius, and Marcus get to know, and the wives? Some knew, too. Like Chelsea and Afton. But they didn't come. Only Aro, Felix, Demetri, Renata, and Caius came for permanent along. Sulpicia said she should go back with Athenodora and Marcus.

Marcus has been very antsy and schizophrenic lately. He talks forever now. His face is not a mask of nothing anymore but concern, deep concern and no patience. A man named Alistair has also come to stay, but in Volterra. Aro is very happy to see him there.

I just don't understand why she, this human girl, could have such and impact on us. And it all started after Ulisse and the reincarnated Vera visited us. No one heard the story but them, which made me sad. I wanted too.

But now we have to "Find Didyme to make things right again."

"But for who?" I asked. Nothing was wrong.

"No, Jane. This was long before you. Things must be fixed. This is a great opportunity," Aro had smiled at me.

What happened that made her so important so long ago?


AN. can anyone tell where this is going? good. ok, so here it is. refrences. . .

Alistair- if you read my other one, he kinda makes more sense. you don't have to, but things will fall better into place. but i will make it somewhat explanatory. just the other fic( I, The Divine) will clarify. yanno?

I said Afton and Chelsea because i just did. that's not in my other fic, but i do assume they were like one of the first offical guards when things were just taking off. i think that since everything would have been "looser" then, that love would be easier because your mind would be "younger" and "Freer" so i think they did know Didyme. others, like how Eleazar did, would leave after time. that could be why Chelsea is so important to Aro, but i don't think that she was so important till after Didyme, when things in were put into place as the "Vampire Royalty". i hope i didn't just rant and made sense XD

anything said here is for the purpose of the story and not to offend anyone. it also does not support my views on anything. so i wasn't trying to sterotype anything if you got that feeling. please, i beg you, it's nothing personal.

finally, since i have failed yet so to do this. . .

DISCLAIMER: NOTHING IS MINE. NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING!!!

any questions? comment. i'll get back to you. and yeah, just comment anyway.