Chapter Six
McGee stood in silence, not quite knowing how to respond to Ziva's words. Finally, he said, "Wow."
Ziva nodded. "I know," she responded softly. "If I would have thought of it . . ."
"No," McGee interrupted, moving his hand up to her shoulder. "Don't feel like you shouldn't have come here. I'm glad you did."
She looked to the floor, shaking her head. "It just makes it harder to say goodbye."
"Oh, Ziva," McGee breathed, gathering her to his chest. "Don't think that way. There's no telling what's going to happen. And," he shrugged, "is there anything keeping the children in Israel?"
"I could not bring them here," she muttered quietly. "To risk seeing you, any of the team?"
"What do you mean, Ziva?" McGee asked. "You don't have to quit NCIS. Lots of people at NCIS have kids. Vance has kids."
Ziva shook her head. "Gibbs will not like it . . ."
"We'll make it work," McGee said forcefully. Ziva gave him a surprised look and he suddenly looked apologetic. "Oh, I'm sorry. This is your choice and I should be respectful . . ."
"Do you mean it?" Ziva interrupted.
He narrowed his eyes. "Of course I mean it. I didn't mean to butt in . . ."
"No," she waved away his words, "I know that. I meant . . . You will help me?"
"Of course I will." To see her so vulnerable, so doubting of everything, was breaking his heart. That wasn't the Ziva he was used to. "I care about you, Ziva. And I want to be there for you in whatever you may need."
"Come to Israel with me." Her eyes were pleading.
For some reason, her request surprised McGee. "Wow. Ziva, I . . ."
She let out a sigh of defeat, then pushed the covers aside, standing. "I am sorry. I am pushing this all on you. This is not your life."
"Ziva, would you sit down?" McGee asked, his voice laced with amused disbelief. "You're being completely irrational."
"I am being myself, McGee," she responded, her voice loud, her eyes closed. "I do not believe in forcing people into situations."
McGee sighed. "You're not forcing me into anything, Ziva. I'm willing to help you out here, do whatever it necessary for you to be able to stay here, not out of some sort of obligation to you because of everything you've told me tonight, but because I care about you. Can't you see that? I want you in my life. And if that means going to Israel . . ."
Ziva spun around, her eyes shining. "You will come with me?"
He laughed. "I never intended on saying no, Ziva. I'm just flattered you trust me enough to want me there."
Ziva sat down gently on the edge of the bed and gave him a small smile. "It is more than trust that is driving me, McGee." She looked away then, feeling a bit shy. Here was McGee, a man she'd grown to trust and depend on day after day in their job, and now, her feelings had deepened for him. She had kissed him earlier, for Pete's sake! But it was still nerve wracking, having to balance that fine line between work and what they did away from NCIS, not to mention the added complication Michael's children could bring.
"You okay?" McGee's voice brought her out of her thought, and she nodded, albeit a bit distractedly.
She stared off at the wall as she voiced what was on her mind. "This is not going to be easy, a relationship . . ."
McGee shifted, only slightly nervous about Ziva's words. But he knew what he wanted, what he'd wanted for a very long time, and so there was no hesitation or fear in his voice when he spoke. "It'll only be as hard as we make it." She turned to look at him, surprised by his words. "I'm not saying it's going to be perfect, and I'm sure there will be plenty of times we're ready to give up or wonder why we ever decided to do this in the first place, but I'm willing to work through all that. I've never been terribly good at relationships, but . . ." he gulped, showing the first sign of hesitation, "this is important to me. And . . . I want to be happy. I would assume you want the same."
Ziva smiled softly. "Yes. And I think I have finally come to my senses and have seen what I have ignored for so long." She placed her hand on his and squeezed. "You are a good man. And precisely what I need at this point in my life." Her smile fell. "Especially now."
McGee frowned slightly and held his arm out. She crawled up next to him, curling into his side, the frightening reality of the situation hitting her again. She had come here tonight for no other reason than to take a chance and reveal the true nature of her feelings to McGee, and while she had managed that, it was the least of her concern right now. Her step-brother was dead, and there was a very real possibility that she would soon be raising his children. Her life had suddenly become far more chaotic than she had imagined. It really was a good thing she had McGee.
"Ziva?" McGee's voice again brought Ziva back to the present.
She met his gaze. "I am sorry," she murmured, then looked down at their joined hands. "I was just thinking about everything that has happened." She let out a sigh. "Life is too short, McGee. I should have told you how I felt when I returned to the team, rather than waiting until now. I have wasted too much time."
McGee shook his head, pulling her closer to him. "Don't think that way, Ziva. We're both going to grow old and gray, just like Gibbs."
Ziva let out a surprised laugh at the unexpected joke, but sobered just as quickly, patting McGee's leg absentmindedly. "There was no guarantees for how long any of us will survive, McGee, especially in our profession. It is better to do things without regrets."
He sighed. "I suppose you have a point. But don't you ever think about getting married and having kids, living in the perfect house with a white picket fence?"
"Why, Tim," Ziva said, amused, "I did not take you for such the romantic." He didn't say anything, just shook his head, so Ziva continued. "I never allowed myself such a luxury. I knew there was a very real possibility of it never happening."
"Well, Ziva," McGee started, squeezing her again, "I'm giving you permission to think about it. You know why?" He pulled away from her to look her in the face. "Because I know that's what you want."
He smiled and Ziva mimicked the action, resting her head against his shoulder. "Yes," she murmured into his shirt, "you always seem to know what I need."
