Disclaimer- I own nothing

AN- A lot of angst ahead, plus a very different POV than I usually write, I edited as best as I could but I may have missed something.

Two: Guilt

Your fault, that evil voice in your head whispers as you find Jimmy dead in Chloe's arms; David dead, impaled on a pike. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened. You didn't know what would find when Chloe sent the text to you, but not this, not Jimmy who deserved to have a long happy life. Who was just turning his life around for the better.

Davis on the other hand…

… You can't really find any remorse for someone whose cost so many people so much pain, Chloe especially. You could see why she wanted to help him; she couldn't have known the darkness would remain in David after she separated him from the Beast.

You manage to walk to Chloe and gently coax her away from Jimmy's body and hold onto her as she sobs into your chest for minutes, hours maybe, you're not sure until Bart and Dinah track you down, still covered in dust and grin from the collapse of Doomsday and the search for Clark. You meet Dinah's eyes and she nods at the unspoken request to call Hamilton and quietly slips away; leaving Bart to shuffle around awkwardly, catching Chloe's attention.

She looks at Bart with a sniffle. "Did you find him?"

Bart doesn't even have to ask who she meant; it's been at the back of your mind since the explosion: She wants to know if her big dumb alien made it out okay.

He tries to manage a smile for Chloe but fails. "Sorry gorgeous, I've been to Smallville and back three times, Clark's nowhere to be found."

"What about up north…?"

"I'm sorry Chloelicious."

A broken sob escapes Chloe as she crumples into your arms. You hold her as she holds onto you as if you're her only rock.

"Hey Sidekick, we'll find him, promise," you tell her as you cradle her in your arms. "We both know Clark won't go don't without a fight."

"Yeah, 'licious, he's just as stubborn as Boss-man here, if not more, you know them He-Man types."

A choked laugh escapes from her, it's the first time you've seen or heard her laugh in months.

Then she protests as you pick her up and begin to carry her out of the tower as Hamilton's team comes in. "Let me take care of this Chloe," you tell her as you make your way to your bike, because the last thing she needs to see is her husband being zipped up in a body bag. You gently lower her to the ground. Holding onto her as she loses her balance, afraid she'll faint.

"Can you make it to Queen Tower?"

She nods, determined to stay strong for a little while longer, she gets on after you wrapping her arms tightly around your waist. Revving the engine a few times, you then speed off through the battle ravaged streets of Metropolis, weaving in and out of alleyways, avoiding the main streets.

As soon as you're inside you carry her to your bedroom, laying her down on the bed, she protests, struggling to keep her eyes open. You promise to take care of everything as her breathing evens out and she succumbs to sleep.

You call Dinah first.

"Still no sign of Boy Scout." She answers wearily.

You're not surprised, you're not exactly on the best terms with Clark but you want to make sure he's all right. Chloe would never forgive herself if something happened to Clark. "We'll worry about Clark later, after the funeral we're leaving."

There's a very long pause on the other end before Dinah answers quietly. "Are you sure that's the best idea Oliver?"

"Yes."

"Chloe needs you."

You laugh bitterly. "I'm the last person Chloe needs right now."

"She loves you."

"She loves Jimmy."

"You love her."

She's blunt; and right but you don't answer.

"You need her."

"What I need doesn't matter right now. Inform the guys that we leave after the funeral." You're close to snarling at her at this point, but you really don't care.

There's another pause. "Yes, sir." The sneer is evident in her voice. "Anything else boss?"

"No."

"Good. You know one of these days you're going to have to stop playing the martyr in love Oliver, I just hope Chloe hasn't moved on when that happens." She hangs up on you.

Snarling under your breath you begin to make arrangements for Jimmy's funeral, only stopping to comfort Chloe whenever she wakes up, screaming from the nightmares. You hold her close as she cries and shakes uncontrollably. You whisper to her that it'll be okay…

Two days later

"Oliver Queen, you bastard!"

You wince as you listen to your voicemail.

"You, of all people, why now? Do you hate me that much that you don't even bother telling me that you're leaving?" She laughs without humor, which is completely wrong coming from your Watchtower. "Though I can't really blame you, I lied to you, deceived you, and harbored a cold-blooded killer in my apartment while I was supposed to be fighting against him not with him. Oh and Clark's gone too, yep, just up and leaves too, claiming that his humanity was holding him back from embracing his destiny. He was able to drop one more bomb before walking out of my life: he wasn't able to find Lois; the police are presuming her dead because of the attack on the city. I can't even reach Lucy or the General to let them know what's going on. So basically… I'm on my own. Have a nice life saving the world… If it's worth anything, I would take it all back so I could be fighting with you."

Click.

You sigh as you hang up. She has a right to be angry, but she's wrong, you don't hate her. You tried deluding yourself into thinking she'd be better off without you. You were wrong. She needs you now more than ever and you turn your back on her.

You really are a bastard.

Dinah turns to you, curtly informing you that the jet would be landing in Gotham City in a few minutes. You nod, hopeful to persuade Bruce Wayne into joining the League. Once your business was done there you're going back to Metropolis.

To Chloe.

You just pray she'll be there when you return.

AN2- I realize at the end of season eight Oliver, Dinah and Bart were said to be missing, but I tweaked it just a bit, we all know they never stay away for long.  Please leave a review. They make me smile. Thanks to all of you who've reviewed and put this on your alerts.

Dannie