Disclaimer- I really wish I did.

AN- In response to Roulette: Screw revisiting the Lois/Ollie romance, it's Chloe he's falling for!

Four: What She Can't Have

What am I doing?

The better question is what's wrong with me? A few weeks ago I was practically begging Clark to go back and save Jimmy so we could have a second chance. Now when a certain billionaire who, up until recently was spiraling out of control, smiles at me or touches me I feel… something I never really felt with Jimmy and it makes me sick to my stomach, like I'm betraying him. I know I am; it's my fault he died… it's my fault he was murdered. I didn't stab him, but I'm the one who split the man from the monster… who was a monster all along.

If the guilt doesn't kill me, something else will eventually.

I sigh and rub my forehead, it's late, and I should be attempting sleep. Yet here I am at Watchtower running the upgrades Victor sent to me, and fighting off sleep as I look down at Metropolis.

And I'm out of coffee.

The door suddenly creaks open; I hear heavy footsteps walking around downstairs.

"Sidekick? You here?"

A smile jumps on my face as I turn and make my way over to the balcony and see Oliver Queen holding a bag of my favorite coffee and a DVD. I can't help but grin. "What happened to beer pong?"

He smirks. "After about an hour I had to call Clark and have him take her home, she not-so-subtly suggested we try and pick up from where we left off."

I raise an eyebrow at him as I walk downstairs. "Oh really, what made you turn her down?"

"Well it wasn't when it suddenly turned into strip beer pong, but when I realized that we'd both regret if anything happened… and I don't feel that way anymore."

"You don't?"

"No, not for a very long time; I love her as a friend, nothing more." He looks uncomfortable all of a sudden. I take the coffee and start to make a fresh pot. I bite my lower lip as he comes up behind me, contemplating what to say.

I turn to him. "Ollie--"

"Sidekick, when I finally got out of that warehouse, I got to a phone I called you, not Clark not Lois. You. It probably would have made more sense to yell for Clark" he smiles somewhat nervously. "But I called you," he cups my cheek, thumb caressing my cheekbone, staring into my eyes so intensely that I inhale sharply.

"It's you I call, always you Sidekick, and always more if you want." He smiles as his hand drops to his side.

I smile and hold up the coffee bag. "Keep supplying me with this and you'll have me forever."

He grins. "Done, now, back to the matter at hand: You have all these computers, please tell me at least one of them comes with DVD-ROM."

I grin. "Naturally, Bart comes by once in a while for movie night."

"Perfect, now I can finally see what all the rage is about these sparkling vampires. Then I have fulfilled all purposes in life."

I snort as I walk by, taking the movie from him. "Yes, I completely twisted your arm when you decided to bring that of all movies, I would've preferred a Bourne movie too."

I can feel him staring. "You know I can go back to my penthouse and go grab one."

"Uh-uh! What you picked is what we're watching." I smirk as I start dragging the computer over to the monitors.

Ollie grumbles as he helps me with the couch. I laugh. "Oh come on, you may like it."

"We'll see Sidekick." He winks at me as he turns to go get the coffee.

After the credits roll, Oliver turns to me. "Yeah, I can tell you right now I won't be lining up with the masses for the sequel."

I smile as I get up and grab our mugs. "Same here."

He follows me into the kitchen. "So when do you want to start?"

I stop and turn. "Start what?"

"Your training, being part of the team means going out in the field. Which reminds me, I'm thinking blue for your uniform and a red wig, how's that sound?"

Awesome! I want to say, how long have I secretly wanted to go out with the boys? Do more than behind the scenes work? Since I became apart of the team, but… "Why now?"

He smiles sadly. "Because it's where you belong Tower, because of Jim-"

"Don't Ollie, please, not now."

He nods. "Okay, when you're ready Sidekick, I'll be here." He leans forward and kisses my cheek. "Get some sleep." He murmurs before leaving.

Watching him go, I wipe away the few tears that escape. I sigh after the door shuts, before heading back to the monitors, shutting everything down for the night. I'm not even going to attempt to go back to the apartment tonight, I'll just be up early enough so why waste the gas?

Sighing for what feels like the umpteenth time, I curl up on the couch; bury my face into a pillow and cry. I cry for Jimmy, myself, Oliver, what could have been, what should have been. I cry until I have no tears left, eventually falling asleep. Thankfully, I don't dream.

I wake up smelling a fresh pot of coffee and find myself in Oliver Queen's arms. I frown as I attempt to sit up; he mumbles something unintelligible, tightening his arms around my waist. I lie back down; a few more minutes can't hurt. I didn't even hear him come back in or even notice him maneuver us around.

I close my eyes, listening to his steady breathing, wondering where this is going to go. More often than not we've been relying on each other than other people. Even when he disappeared I found myself calling him at least once a day, hoping he'd pick up; I just needed to talk to him one last time if never wanted to talk to me again. After what I did, I don't deserve what I feel for him, let alone his friendship.

Oliver buries his face in my hair; mumbling again in his sleep. "Chloe."

I fight back more tears as I try to fall back to sleep.

We're just friends.

Nothing more.

AN2- At the end of Roulette I couldn't help but notice how Chloe couldn't keep a grin off her face when she talked about Ollie. Just friends my foot. Leave a review on the way out, they make me smile.

Dannie