Ugh, I am not at all sure how I feel about this, but I figured I'd submit it anyway.
I will warn you all that while it IS 411, it begins with lots of mention of Marluxia/Larxene and brief moment of NOT-Marluxia/Namine...you'll see what I mean. So if you absolutely don't think you can take that, don't read!
If you do though, PLEASE REVIEW? D: This is something...different and I'd like to get feedback.
Phasing
Marluxia was beginning to worry.
As a Somebody he was a fierce and proud warrior and his lifestyle reflected the teachings handed down by the masters before him.
Sex was about release, about ridding oneself of distractions in combat, and while it was most certainly allowed to be enjoyable, it should always be easily separated from events outside of the bedroom.
He understood that. And yes, he enjoyed sex, he enjoyed it quite a lot in fact, but for his entire existence as a Somebody he'd never had trouble separating his sexual experiences from the rest of his life.
When he became a Nobody, however, everything changed.
He didn't notice it at first…getting used to a new existence took up most of his time at first, and by the time he'd done that Larxene had been ready and available.
She was much like all the others, the ones he'd enjoyed as a Somebody, small and soft and willing…feisty when need be, but she enjoyed playing the submissive if there was something in it for her in the end just as well.
She was perfect.
She wasn't right at all.
He couldn't understand it, and at first he chalked the shift up to a few bad days, stress lowering his libido. Larxene didn't seem too concerned. She no doubt had other bedmates in this place; even here, in Oblivion, with the majority of the other Organization members still in The World That Never Was.
Larxene had a mission soon after his dissatisfaction started and after weeks without her, he assumed he'd be over whatever this was. He disliked masturbation and he'd gone without sex for quite a while. It was good to see her again.
But the feeling persisted. It was a hollow, empty ache that began during the actual act itself and amplified as he came down from his post-climactic high. He decided to ignore it…didn't being a Nobody require such empty sensations? Perhaps the lack of sexual appetite came with the loss of emotion?
It got worse though. He began to drift between unable to rid himself of an erection, even after sex, to being unable to obtain one before hand.
She was getting bored with it, and he couldn't actually blame her. He'd been unable to…to rise to the occasion…multiple times and Larxene did not tolerate this sort of thing. She was a very sexual creature in her own right and Marluxia was simply not managing to bring himself up to her standards…literally.
It became a game to her, something to amuse her and pass the time and the stress caused by that certainly wasn't helping. He still wanted the sex of course…in fact the oddities surrounding it made him feel the need for it all the more, but it became less and less enjoyable despite him needing it almost obsessively…not what he was getting though, not the disappointing, forced ejaculations brought on by scratching nails and firm, rounded breasts pressed jarringly against his chest with each movement. Larxene was harsh despite her soft skin, cruel despite her heart shaped pixie face and…and it was just all wrong and he couldn't understand why.
He began to avoid her and she didn't bother trying to bring him back to her bed. It wasn't like her to concern herself with his mental state, his physical one was the only really interesting part of him to her, and if that wasn't in working order she was in no hurry to call him back.
He was getting desperate though, the fact that he was having a problem was amplifying his need. He knew his distraction was obvious and that he needed to get his head back into the game, into what he was doing. The three Elders kept themselves locked away in the basement, but even Vexen and Zexion seemed to be more willing to snap back and sneer at him than usual and of course Axel was taking every chance he got to use Marluxia's distant condition to do as he pleased.
He turned to the witch. It was late, he was drunk, and more than half-mad with pent up frustration by this point. He'd be mortified later, no matter how desperate he got, he had more honor than to fuck a child…but she was everything Larxene wasn't…truly soft and innocent and naive.
He came up behind her, sliding his hands beneath her armpits and across the barely formed mounds of her breasts, earning a soft, horrified mewl. She tensed but he ignored it, sliding his hands up her thighs and beneath the thin fabric of her dress, one hand moving to press against the girlish chest, the other sliding under the thin elastic band of her panties…white cotton, everything was white with this girl…to press against the smooth, pre-pubescent sex, his fingers splaying. She whimpered and shifted, her eyes squeezed shut and suddenly he realized that he was in fact touching a child. He backed away, eyes wide, too shocked to even attempt to be a gentleman and apologize…how he could pull that off after that…he stumbled away, feeling far away and floating, leaning against the wall to keep from sliding to the floor.
This was how Vexen found him. Had he not still been so badly shaken by what he'd almost done…Namine wouldn't have stopped him…the poor thing probably didn't know she could…he might have been ashamed by his frazzled appearance and less than stable mindset. Instead he remained quiet as Vexen lifted him up, wordlessly, and carried him to the basements, leaving him in his own bed until Marluxia woke a few hours later, his mind a bit clearer, but his body no more satisfied.
"Do you want to know what your problem is?" Vexen asked, looking up from a report he'd been writing.
Marluxia looked cautiously at him, rubbing at his temples and trying to adjust to the events that had just recently taken place.
"You think you know what my problem is?" He asked hoarsely, allowing himself to rest against the soft pillows…he'd always imagined Vexen would sleep on some hard, uncomfortable cot. Apparently the man had quite satisfactory taste in comfort.
"I do." Vexen said calmly. "Would you like me to tell you?"
"Please do." Marluxia said dryly, trying to sound as though this were an ordinary encounter, an ordinary conversation, and not mere hours after Vexen had saved him from a potentially disgraceful morning directly after he'd molested a small child.
"You won't give yourself what you need." Vexen said, shrugging one sharp shoulder. "You don't just need sex, but you won't allow yourself to have what you really want."
Marluxia's eyes narrowed. "And what is it that you think I need?" He asked harshly.
"Would you like me to show you?" Vexen asked quietly, almost sounding as if he wasn't sure he wanted to.
"Without you telling me what I'm getting myself into? You take me for a fool…"
"You were acting like one when I found you." Vexen said blandly. "You are stronger than I am, we both know that. If you don't like what I do, you can easily stop me."
The admittance, more than the reality of it made Marluxia agree. Vexen was a proud, stubborn man…that he would admit to any sort of weakness; even a well known one was surprising. He nodded once, feeling oddly young and naïve as Vexen stood, unzipping his coat and setting it aside as he did.
"Would you like me to undress you?" He asked, walking over, just as cold and clinical now as always was. That…was not promising.
"I'll do it." Marluxia mumbled, feeling uncertain and not enjoying the sensation.
Vexen nodded patiently, undressing himself as he waited.
Marluxia dropped his clothes over the side of the bed, looking up as Vexen moved to sit beside him.
"I won't ask you to trust me." The older man said evenly. "Because neither of us will ever share something like trust. But I will ask you to give yourself the chance to experience this and know that it is not in my best interest to hurt you as you can quite easily do far more damage to me."
That was reason. That was logic, pure and simple, and he nodded once more, finding no hidden meanings in the statement.
He let Vexen touch him. Vexen who was neither soft, nor warm. Vexen who was all sharp angles and pointed features, with no womanly curves, underdeveloped or otherwise. He let Vexen touch him and he felt his body react almost instantly with such intensity that it would have been frightening had it not been such a relief to feel right for once.
Vexen's fingers were cold but they left hot, smoldering trails with each touch across the trembling planes of his stomach and the tensed curve of his thighs. He was expecting a hand job, if he was lucky, a blow job though it had never occurred to him before now that Vexen would do something like that.
He was not expecting to feel the first finger to slip inside of him. He jerked, eyes he hadn't realized he'd shut flying open. Vexen had gotten some sort of lubrication from somewhere; it wasn't pain that startled him, more of the fact that for the first time in his existence someone was…was doing that.
"This is what you think I need?" Marluxia growled, tensing up.
"This is what I know you need." Vexen corrected, pushing the finger deeper and curling it with more talent than Marluxia would have originally given him credit for. Whatever he did, it was amazing, and Marluxia's vision clouded and sharpened simultaneously, making his world a confusing jumble of shape and color. Vexen relaxed his hand and the feeling stopped.
He was embarrassed to find himself having to bite back a whimper of displeasure.
"Are you willing to let me try then?" Vexen asked, and Marluxia had the feeling he only curbed his amusement so that Marluxia wouldn't be put off.
"Will it hurt?" He asked tensely, body still trembling unnaturally.
"It might at first." Vexen said honestly. "But what you just felt is nothing compared to what I can do for you."
Marluxia squeezed his eyes shut, feeling small and lost, and suddenly closer to feeling satisfied than he had in almost a year now. "Okay." He said; his tone clipped.
Vexen didn't waste any time after that, adding another well lubricated finger and then another, stretching and flexing them in all sorts of interesting ways that made Marluxia see stars and ribbons of light.
He'd never expected Vexen to be gentle, but the preparation really seemed to be just that…the entry as well wasn't as horrifying as he'd imagined whenever he'd given something like this a passing thought.
Vexen sighed. "If this is your first time doing this, I really should go slowly…but that's not what you need. I think you'll find tomorrow to be well worth it…you're already going to be hung-over, and I assure you, I have plenty of ice."
Marluxia blinked, not following what he was saying until Vexen was moving against him and it wasn't gentle anymore and for several suspended moments it hurt but then Vexen was pressing against that spot again, with much more force and with something considerably bigger than his finger and Marluxia suddenly found himself completely unable to focus on anything but that, but the constant rhythmic motion of the other man against him and inside of him and…and it was finally, finally right.
Marluxia was not particularly loud when he had sex…screaming was for women and whores…he'd been taught so and he'd really never felt the need to make much noise anyway.
Now however, he found himself shrieking with reckless abandon, not caring, not realizing half the time…no one could hear anything in the basement anyway, and Vexen was far enough away from Lexaeus and Zexion that they wouldn't either…mainly because Vexen preferred not to hear them.
Marluxia could do as he pleased and the only witness would be the man who had more to lose from this information leaving the room than he did.
He wasn't sure how long it lasted, it was both an instant and an eternity at once and then suddenly he had ceased to exist completely, the world exploding into white, then crashing into black.
When he came back to his senses he'd been cleaned off and laid out among clean sheets, his legs propped up and a well wrapped ice pack set against his lower back.
Vexen was back at his desk, working on another paper.
He tilted his head to look at him, bone-achingly exhausted and completely rejuvenated all at once. Vexen was right…no matter how he felt in the morning, he was feeling amazing right now.
"Are you going to come to bed?" He asked, finding himself too sated to even be ashamed at how his voice cracked, raw from screaming.
"Are you going to think something of it if I share a bed with you?" Vexen asked flatly, making a note on the page.
"No." He said, stretching his arms up over his head.
"Then yes, I will." Vexen said, setting the page aside and slipping back into the bed. He was still naked and Marluxia wondered dazedly why he'd ever found anything else even remotely appealing.
"Why did you do this?" He asked quietly as Vexen shut his eyes.
"Sex is rather nice, don't you think?" Vexen asked as though that should have been a suitable answer.
"How'd you know I needed this then?" Marluxia asked, determined for something substantial to take from this other than a sore backside.
"You were feeling up a small child, you were obviously not satisfied with your sex life." Vexen said, almost asleep and almost sarcastic.
Marluxia winced at that but he knew he deserved it…Namine wouldn't mention it…he'd buy her some new crayons and warn her against ever drinking, if she even lived long enough to do so.
But for now…
"Can we do this again?" he asked, realizing how much he was risking with that one question. He was admitting he wanted this, and he was putting himself in a position to be cruelly shot down.
"I imagine we'll have to. I can't have our dear Superior finding out that there was a way I could improve the mental health of our Lord that I didn't follow through with." Vexen said sourly, and it was as close to an acknowledgment of mutual contentment as Vexen was going to give him. "Now please go to sleep. I'd think you would be tired."
He was tired, and Vexen was surprisingly warm even if they weren't quite touching, and for the first time in ages he felt fulfilled and content.
This wasn't…ideal…but then…not much in his existence was. Losing his heart wasn't ideal…having an entire life he could never go back to wasn't ideal…at least this way he was going to get some really good sex and he was certainly okay with that.
REVIEW PLEASE!
And GIVE ME WORDS FOR MY ONE-WORD PROMPTS!
ALL CAPS ARE TO GRAB ATTENTION! : D
