Spencer spent most of her flight from Boston to LA thinking about Ashley. How was she going to explain how her life had changed since moving to Boston? Could she even bring herself to tell Ashley the real reason she left?

"Ok Spence whatever you are thinking about, stop." Kris said. "You are gonna make your brain explode."

"I know but I need to come up with a game plan."

"Ah the big talk with Ashley."

"Exactly. What do I say to her without hurting her?"

"Well if you say you're moving back to her you won't hurt her."

"Kris I'm not gonna lie to her just to make her feel better."

"Spence here's what I don't understand. Why did you ever leave in the first place. Why walk out on a major hottie you are nuts about. She's got money, you had a spot at UCLA, it doesn't make sense."

Spencer took a deep breath then spoke, "My dad."

"Really? I'd say fuck him, you were set."

"Except I just turned eighteen last week."

"Yeah I kinda remember the bash but what does that have to do with anything?"

"My dad was gonna press charges against Ash if I didn't go to Boston. He thought she corrupted me. In his eyes if I got away from her this whole gay thing would just disappear. I couldn't live with myself if I let dad ruin Ash's life."

"From what you have said about her she would have fought him. And she doesn't seem to take shit from anyone so it probably would have been ok."

"That's the problem. Arthur Carlin always get his way. Kids well behaved and silent, wife on hand when needed and other people either bow to his will or they get crushed."

"No offense Spence but your dad sounds like an asshole."

"None taken cause he is. I'm just thankful that mom didn't buy into his bullshit. She helped Ash and I be together without him knowing."

"Then why did the shit hit the fan? Couldn't you and Ash play the just roomies card?"

"We could have if I wasn't so dumb. I insisted when I moved out to tell him the truth."

"Wow. I'm not sure if that was really brave or really dumb Spence."

"I'm leaning more towards dumb of course. But maybe good too."

"Not exactly following Spence."

"Look I love Ashley, but all I know is me with her. I don't remember just me."

"Isn't that the point though. Being half of a whole. We're all looking for our better half and you lucked out and found that really early."

"But did I or am I just settling for the first woman I was with?"

"Oh well there is that point of view I guess."

"Kris I just want to know Ashley is the one but how do I know without dating other women? I'm eighteen years old, I'm not ready to be with my one and only forever yet. I don't think anyways."

"Well then I guess you know what you need to tell Ashley. But I guarantee you are going to hurt her."

"I know. I'm scared to death."

Kris searched through her backpack and pulled out paper and a pen. "Here write everything you are feeling. This way you can figure out exactly what you should say."

So Spencer spent the rest of the flight pouring her heart out onto paper. Most of this she would never tell Ashley. She finally felt she had figured out what Ashley was going to hear.

"Done?"

"Yep. I think I know what I'm gonna tell her." Then Spencer started giggling.

"What's so funny Spence? I thought this was a not so happy discussion."

"No it's not but I just realized how much Ashley has affected me. I wrote her a fucking song."

"Interesting. You gonna actually sing it to her?"

"No she's the vocally talented one. I think I'll just give her the lyrics."

"Spence you're not gonna do this through a letter right? I mean you are actually gonna talk to her aren't you?"

"Of course I'm gonna actually talk to her." Spencer said more confidently than she felt. Writing Ashley a letter instead of talking to her wasn't an entirely horrible idea. It would be a little cold true but then she knew it may be the only way to get her feelings out right.

"So changing gears. What's the plan for the next couple days?"

"Well tonight and all day tomorrow we move mom out. Tomorrow night mom works and we go out to see Ashley's show and Saturday night we head back to Boston."

"Sucks that my first trip to LA is so fuckin short."

"We'll come back for a longer trip at some point don't worry."

"So when are you gonna talk to Ash?"

"Don't know yet."

"Well figure it out girly. We should probably wake sleeping beauty hey?"

"Yeah but keep it clean. We are in public."

"Come on I can wake my girlfriend any way I want to."

"No you can't." came the sleepy voice of Sarah. "Cause I'm already awake. Let's get this party going."

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Paula was worried about her daughter. Since Spence and her friends got into town Spence had been distant with not just her but Ashley as well. This worried her a lot because although the circumstances surrounding Spencer's choice to go to Boston were bad, Paula thought it would bring the girls closer. Instead Spencer had pushed Ashley away a little and because it's what Spence wanted Ashley gave her space.

Arthur's actions had been the final straw for Paula. After Spencer explained everything to him, instead of recognizing his daughters happiness and maturity he sought to destroy the relationship. Paula was so upset by thing that she began the divorce process which was a long time coming. It took a little while for her to get everything arranged but thankfully it was almost over. Her first big visible step was moving out this weekend and the other would be Monday morning when the divorce papers would be served to her soon to be ex husband. One does not take on Arthur Carlin without being thoroughly prepared. Since he was on a business trip Spencer offered her help in the moving process. But instead of recruiting Ashley like Paula had hoped, she brought a couple friends from school. Sarah and Kris were very nice and helpful but Paula was hoping Spence and Ash would reconnect a bit so things would be out in the open.

Paula knew Ashley never knew about Arthur's threats. She also knew most of what her daughter had been up to while at college. Although she did not approve she was not about to judge her daughter, that's something Arthur would do. All Paula could do was hope that Spencer would find her way. Of course she hoped it would lead Spencer back to California and back to Ashley but Paula would not intervene. Paula would never try to influence Spencer to do what she thought was best. Spence had to make her own decisions, right or wrong.

Paula had liked Ashley from the first time Spencer introduced them. Although Ash was a little rough around the edges, there was amazing strength within her. Paula had heard rumors about Ashley from other mothers at the school such as Ashley was a wild child trouble maker and that she was a lesbian. Neither of these concerned her because she trusted Spencer's judgment. After a month Paula felt there was more to the girls friendship so she decided to talk with Ashley. She went over to Ashley's house while Spencer was at home working on a school project.

Paula was lead to Ashley's room by a butler she assumed. "Ashley can I talk to for a minute."

Surprised Ashley quickly said, "Sure Mrs. Carlin. Have a seat."

"Thank you Ashley and please call me Paula."

"Ok Paula," Ashley said nervously.

"First of all relax Ashley, I just wanna talk. Nothing to be nervous about."

"I'll try. Just a little weird you coming here to talk to me." Ashley said still nervous as hell.

"Well I'll just jump right in dear, I'm not as dumb as you may think I am. Does Spencer know how you feel?"

"What?!?" Oh god Ashley thought, she's never gonna let me see Spencer again. How the hell did she know?

"Come on we both know you are either falling if not already in love with my daughter."

"I don't know what you're talking about Paula. Spencer and I are just friends." Ashley said while hoping Paula would buy what she was saying.

"Ok let me approach this another way. My best friend is a lesbian. Arthur doesn't know we are still very close and she's a doctor at the hospital. He has big issues with homosexuality but I don't at all. See where I'm going with this dear?"

"Not exactly Paula."

"I see something between you and Spencer, more than normal friendship. I have wondered from time to time if Spencer was just playing straight or if she really was. Arthur can be very persistent about things and being gay is one of them. He has told the kids before that if they were gay they may as well not come home."

"He seriously said that?" Ashley said visibly relaxing a bit.

"Yeah. But I'm not him. I don't care who my children love as long as they are happy and their significant other treats them right."

Quietly Ashley said, "I think I'm in love with her."

Paula gave her a huge smile and said, "I thought so. And what does my daughter think?"

"Honestly she freaked a little when I told her I have dated girls so she doesn't know. I want at least her friendship so I haven't told her."

"I respect that Ashley. Give Spencer some time, I think she'll realize that pleasing Arthur isn't everything and is definitely not worth the heartache."

"So you don't mind me hanging out with Spencer? Really?"

"I think you will be good for each other. She'll keep you out of trouble and you'll watch out for her. You care about her so you'll protect her and keep her from getting hurt."

"I'll definitely try Paula. I'm just surprised you'll still let me around her. I'm sure you've heard enough bad things about me."

"That I have." Paula said laughing. "But I see you with Spencer and I forget what I've heard. I honestly just see a kid in love trying to get the girl and I believe you will in the end."

"I hope you're right Paula and I will treat her right. I would never hurt her. Not intentionally anyways."

"I believe you Ashley. And I promise that if you two become a couple I will do everything in my power to help keep Arthur away so you have a fair shot."

When Paula got home she knew she should talk to Spencer.

"Spence, you have a minute?"

"Yeah mom what's up?"

"You know I try not to pry in your life too much but I do have to let you know some things."

"Ok, what's this about?"

"Honestly, it's about Ashley."

"Ok whatever you've heard don't listen. You can't keep me from hanging out with her just because of some rumors that you've heard."

"And I don't want to prevent you from seeing her Spence."

"What? I thought you'd…"

Interrupting Paula said, "I know but it's ok. I think you two are good for each other."

"Even though she's…"

Before Spence could say it Paula said, "I know she's gay Spence."

"You do? Don't you have a problem with that?"

"I'm not your father dear."

"What if I said…" But Spencer couldn't say it out loud.

"Spence if you want to be with Ashley I will help you as much as I can. I would never tell your father. I just want you to be happy. I don't care if you're gay, straight, or bi-sexual because you're my daughter not some label. I love you no matter who you fall for."

"Mom are you serious?" Spencer said doubtfully.

"Absolutely and to prove it to you I want to tell you a secret."

"Ok but I doubt it's as big as mine which you somehow figured out."

"What Spence, your confusion over your feelings for Ashley?"

"Duh mom."

"Ok I raise you. You remember me mentioning Lacy, my best friend from college."

"Yeah a little but you don't mention her much, especially around dad."

"Well because she's gay and he knows that and of course he does not approve. Well she's a doctor at the hospital."

"That's not a big raise mom, you having a lesbian friend at the hospital."

"I'm having an affair with her Spence. I'm bi-sexual and have known for a long time."

It took Spencer a few minutes to respond. Finally she gave her mom a big hug and said, "Thank you for telling me mom."

"Well now we both know something that your father would flip over."

"Do you love Lacy? Are you gonna leave dad?"

"I don't know Spence it's only been a couple of weeks."

And now in the present time Paula was moving in with Lacy but Spencer was pushing Ashley away. Spencer had told Paula she wasn't sure if someone's first love was meant to last.

Paula had wanted to discuss this further with her daughter but she had to work. So now she was enjoying her few minutes of quiet during the graveyard shift at the hospital. Being the top ER nurse can make for a very busy shift. She had tried to call Spencer but got no answer so she decided to try Ashley. On the second ring she picked up.

"Mama Paula how's the moving going? The girls annoying you and Lacy yet?" Ashley said laughing.

"Well Lacy loves that she doesn't have to work very hard that's for sure."

"That's good. So when is that wonderful woman of yours gonna cook me dinner again?"

"I don't know dear, you'll have to ask her. But one of the reasons I called was to see how the big show went."

"I'll allow the subject change because it was fucking amazing. I've never felt so comfortable on stage. I can't wait for our next show."

"Glad to hear it sweetie. When's the next show? Lacy and I were bummed we couldn't come tonight."

"Next Friday I think. I'll double check with Taylor."

"Well Friday would be perfect cause Lacy and I are off. And if you're really good there could be a meal arranged for you and your band mates before the show or after."

"Paula that would be awesome, definitely count me in."

"So my other reason for calling, is Spencer with you now?"

"Sorry Paula she left with her friends. She said we'd maybe get together tomorrow. Why?"

"No reason really. She just isn't answering her phone."

"She's probably already asleep, it was like two hours ago that they left."

"Oh Ash I gotta let you go my pager is going off."

"Alright we'll get together soon. Lots of love to you and Lacy. Now go save some lives."

"Absolutely. Bye Ash."

Paula had to smile because Ashley sounded happier than she had since Spencer left. Ash the first patient came in the door she knew that would be the last happy thought of the night.