We went to the bakery, and bought some sweet rolls. I watched Mihoko quietly, my face placid and serene in the moment. She held the sweet roll delicately, in an attempt to keep her fingers from getting too sticky. I laughed lightly when she got icing on her nose, earning myself a soft jab to my shoulder.
I rubbed my shoulder, doing my best to look embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Miho-chan. You shouldn't be so serious, though, It's only icing," I paused a moment when she favored me with her glare. Grinning my lop-sided grin a rubbed the back of my head, "Want that I should lick it off?" I emphasized my words by licking my lips.
Which only caused her to glare all the more effectively, accompanied by a deep red coloring of her cheeks, "Hiroshi, Didn't I say earlier-" She began, before my waving hands dismissed the suggestion.
"Hey, I was only kidding, Miho-chan!" I half murmured under my breath, "I'd much rather lick other bits," before she smacked me hard on the back of the head.
"Hentai," She mouthed sternly, looking around to see if anyone else had heard me. "I wish you would stop acting like such a fool, Hiroshi. You're cute, but you embarrass me sometimes." She handed me her bun, licking her fingers and sticking them in her pockets as she looked away from me, probably to hide the blush.
I felt stung by what she said, wondering if perhaps I'd hurt her feelings too. "I'm sorry, Mihoko. I didn't mean to embarrass you, I was just making light."
She said something half-mumbled as well, sounding like, "Like you always do," accompanied by a heavy sigh. I was quiet for a little while, looking at the sticky buns in my hands and wondering what I was going to do with one of them before I stuffed the whole thing into my mouth and chewed for a moment before swallowing. Mihoko was always so serious. She was very cute, but she could be very tender about a lot of things at times.
So, I clammed up and kept my mouth shut, enjoying the walk in the park.
I offered her my arm, a bit surprised when she took it and sidled close to me. I sighed, saying nothing. Just enjoying her company.
We walked, Mihoko snacking lightly on her honey bun. The sky was a deep cerulean color, pink and orange framing the clouds as the sun was on its way down.
The air had a cool clean scent about it as I looked at Mihoko, only to find her looking at me with a thoughtful expression before her eyes widened and she looked away, her cheeks coloring again. I smiled, but said nothing, even though several smart-ass quips came to mind.
"A fair sky over, beauty so close at my side, a perfect moment," I breathed the haiku solemnly. Closing my eyes a moment, I listened to her breathing, and mine... the sound of the birds in the trees; savoring the moment with her arm in mine.
"Sometimes what we want, is not always what we need, like a fleeting dream," She answered in a hesitant tone. I blinked, opening my eyes and turning to look at her. Her eyes wore a sad expression for a moment, a distant sort of longing. At the time, I hadn't a clue what she could mean by it. I filed her words away for contemplation at a later date.
I touched my hand to hers, smiling. "Seems like three months has gone by so quickly, I'm still nervous about asking you out the first time. Not that you've made things easy on me in the least," My tone was quite serious, my expression matching it.
"Oh, Hiroshi. I'm sorry, your mom just rattled me a bit," She looked up into my eyes searchingly, I stared back in same. "She's- she's very nice, but it's just so unnerving to deal with a Japanese woman with such strong feelings against tradition."
I squeeze her hands, "Hey," I began, grinning as she looked up at me briefly. I turned my eyes up to the prismatic clouds in the deepening sky, speaking with a tenderness all my own, "Mom knows tradition better than most Japanese women. Being a ninja princess comes with a lot of duty and honor, and from the stories, Mom's father was very strict." I pause a moment, wondering if I should go on about such things without looking over my shoulder first. Then I decided I didn't care.
"From what I gather, there were quite a few boyfriends who didn't make the cut. Dad would never have made the cut, but my paternal Grandfather wasn't the sort of guy you crossed lightly either. I guess there was some mutual respect between my grandparents, even though Mom's side of the family hardly ever speaks to her since the marriage. Mom always said that Dad made her see things in a new light, and bucked tradition in his own ways," I smile, moving my arm from Mihoko's and wrapping it around her. "She also said that she drank a lot more of the kool aid on the matter than Dad did. I guess mom was wound really tight when she was young, and when Dad let her out, well..."
Mihoko pinched my side firmly, "That doesn't excuse the utter lack of courtesy, Hiroshi," I could tell she was serious, and that my mother's interactions with her had really troubled her.
"Well, she doesn't trust you," I fired back, honestly a bit miffed at how she was over-reacting to some faint criticism and jibing manner.
Mihoko pushed my from around her, "Doesn't trust me? What the heck did I do? She hardly knows me?"
I sighed, rubbing my eyes with my hands before giving her a perplexed expression, "It's not a matter of knowing you, but that doesn't help. You're dating her little boy, and she's had years of experience judging people's reactions and behavior. Something about you makes her uncomfortable, though I certainly can't place my finger on it."
She stood there stunned for a moment, standing there with her arms limp at her sides, before she ground her teeth and gave me an angry look, "What the hell is that supposed to mean, Hiroshi?" I saw her anger rising like the temperature in June.
Holding my hands up and waving frantically, my mouth opened and closed several times without anything coming out before I managed, "Woah, woah, woah! We're talking about my mom, NOT me! DEFINITELY not me!"
"You just made it sound like YOU have a problem with how I act, Hiroshi!" She jabbed a finger at my chest, holding it there a moment while she continues speaking through her teeth.
Normally, at this point, I'd apologize profusely and do my best to make the comment up to her... but for some reason that I couldn't fathom, I instead straightened and put my arms down. Regardless how hot or sexy she was, I wasn't about to be bullied by my girlfriend over something that really wasn't my fault. "Actually, yeah, I do in all honesty."
I could tell she had prepared a response to the reaction she normally would have gotten. The shock on her face was palpable. Literally, I mean, I could probably have scraped some shock off and bottled it for some prudent future use.
"You- I-" She floundered, her turn to look like a fish I thought inside. "Why?" She managed to squeak out, all the while I felt my heart sink for a moment.
"Mihoko, I care about you a lot, but we can't kiss in public. You're so serious, you don't like talking about me to your friends, you pick on me when I'm just being light-hearted. I mean, we've been at this for three months now. A lot of the time it's great, especially when we're at the movies and I can play stress-toy with your boobs," She began to look angry again, her fingers twitching into claws as she stared at me with a mixture of bafflement and rage. Before she could strike, I continued, "And even comments that could be considered lewd or insipid get under your skin far too easily. It isn't like I'm shouting to the world that we make out, or going around telling all the guys what kind of underwear you wear. Not that some of them haven't asked."
"You- you- YOU!" She punched me hard in the gut, causing me to lose breath as I held the spot where she had struck. "You arrogant, selfish jerk! Three months, and we're on a date, and you decide you're going to start insulting me! You- You- you think you're so great?! You think that there isn't anything that I could be irritated about? Maybe I don't want to talk about such things to other people! Maybe I think a relationship is private!"
I coughed, catching my breath as I looked up at her, "I never said anything like that, Mihoko... but three months, and I haven't ever said anything about the quirks that bother me. It isn't like they stop me from liking you, Mihoko... they're your quirks, they're parts of you. They may get on my nerves sometimes, but really, only when there's tension in a relationship do those little, minor things make a big stage showing on their own."
Her eyes were a bit misty as she clenched her fists, "Why are you being so mean? Why can't you just shut up about talking about boobs, and asses, and all the other girlie parts that you mention like they have a place in casual conversation!"
I straightened, sighing, "This isn't about me even mentioning that, Mihoko. Do you really consider that kind of stuff important? I mean, what if we were dating for a year, would that kind of stuff be off limits then?"
She threw her hands up, probably in frustration. "YES! You shouldn't ever talk about me as if my body is all that mattered to you!"
I grew more dour as she continued glaring at me, I clasped my hands together, "Saying such things doesn't diminish you as a person, this isn't about your body. This is about you as a person, and your reactions to the things around me as well as inside me. I can understand wanting some change, and I've been trying to curb my more lecherous terminologies when I've been around you. That has nothing to do with my mom, and you're missing the point. Maybe I go overboard sometimes, and maybe you have a point... but this appears to really bother you, and that-" I paused, getting a bewildered look on my face, "-That really bothers me."
I held my head, wondering why exactly I was behaving this way with my girlfriend. It took moments to track the line of thought for me; a practiced trait over many years with my grandfather. "It really bothers me that Mom doesn't trust you."
"Seems you and your Mother like being rude to people you have a problem with," She said before she turned and started storming off.
"She's afraid you're going to hurt me, Mihoko," It came on me suddenly. It made perfect sense, Mom had been through noble politics and some of the harshest training about human behavior and thought in her time as Shinobi. It wasn't just that she was naturally wary of others, it was that she sensed something in Mihoko that perhaps I was missing. I trusted my Mother, even when she might be wrong about the reasons.
Mihoko had stopped, standing about ten feet away. I stared at her back a long moment as she stood there. "Will you?" I asked her quietly, my heart feeling stretched and strained all of a sudden.
She whirled, looking at me with the same shocked expression as earlier. "How could you ask me that, Hiroshi? I'm your girlfriend!" Her voice was meak, tears clouding her eyes. She sniffled lightly as one rolled down her cheek. I felt like I had shrunk by a foot.
I grabbed that shrinking feeling and hauled it back up by the scruff of it's neck. I felt my own eyes moist, the sniffles threatening to invade soon as well. "How couldn't I ask it, Mihoko? Three months, if this is going anywhere, of course now would be when I started worrying."
"You KNOW me!" She pleaded, walking back over to me as she looked left then right, not wanting others to overhear a shaming argument between a couple. "How can you ask that when we've grown up together and have been dating for three months!"
I turned my eyes from her face, looking at the ground and studying the grass for a long moment. I half-wondered how vibrant and carefree it seemed, thirsting only for the sun and water. "But that's it, Mihoko. We've grown up together. We've only dated for three months," I looked again at her, my eyes less misted and my heart voiding itself of uncertainty. "We don't really know each other, and our personal quirks are grating against our mutual feelings."
I reached out to take her hand, she pulled it away. I took it again, holding it, "Miho-chan, I care for you. But these things that bother us, we need to talk about them at some point. We need to be honest with each other, or this isn't going anywhere."
She was quiet a moment, sniffling only, but she didn't jerk her hand out of mine. That was an improvement in the situation, at least. "It doesn't mean I don't like being with you, Miho-chan. I love being with you, and it isn't your body. I think you're smart, and I asked you out because I wanted to know you better. I don't know where that might go. Three months together is a while, and all these little things can't keep building up till we explode and argue with each other, Miho-chan. I think you know that."
She sniffled, "You're a jerk, Hiroshi," She said, looking up at me. Her eyes were a bit puffy from crying, which of course made me feel like a heel of the worst degree. "I- I guess you're right though."
Not that it mattered. I felt crummy from being upset with her over so trivial a thing as what my Mom thought. I still couldn't shake that feeling though, like I should be cautious myself. Maybe I should take a step back and take things a bit slower with her, rather than get so emotionally wrapped up. I promised myself that I'd find time to put it on my to do list for some future date.
I cuffed her chin, "Hey, no more tears. We're supposed to be on a date, and I'm sorry for spoiling it," I smiled to try and encourage her. "I really am sorry for hurting your feelings, Miho-chan... I'll try harder to, okay?
She sniffed again and smiled slightly at the corners of her mouth, "You'll try harder to hurt my feelings?" She quipped, playing on my unintentional words.
"Urr- You know what I mean," I smiled slightly, glad that she could at least find humour in the whole thing.
She pulled my arm back around her shoulder, leaning into me as we walked, "Just shut up for a while, Hiroshi."
I took her advice, the sky was starting to darken and I could see the beginnings of stars. We continued walking, not a word said between us for about half an hour. We headed to the theater, taking in a late showing of Kurosowa's "Seven Samurai" as part of the classics night at the local theater, though there was more handiwork than sitting at a movie implied. Well, for the first half of the movie... then as always, I got caught up in the show and began remembering a discussion with Daisuke. Before I knew it, the movie was over.
Looking over, I saw Mihoko asleep. I shook her lightly to rouse her, and for a moment she looked around in confusion before she scowled, "Z'it over?" she said gruffly, yawning into her hand. I nodded slowly, "You're pretty tired, huh?"
She blinked and shook her head, "No," She had a thoughtful look on her face, as if she were going to say something else, but she had declined to do so. "Mm, we should be heading back though, it is pretty late," She looked at her watch before she rose, and together we left the theater.
"Look at the moon," I gestured up into the sky, where the full moon seemed to hang in midair, large and dominating. I stared at it for a long moment before looking over at Mihoko, who was just staring forward with that thoughtful expression on her face. "Mihoko?"
"Mmm?" Her rich brown eyes looked up at mine, the moonlight reflected in them. "What about the moon?"
It was my turn to be perplexed, holding my hand up at the moon, "Well, I mean, it's beautiful. Don't you think so?"
"It's just the moon, Hiroshi... same moon as any other night," She looked tired, though I wasn't certain if it was from the movie and the date or if it was something else. Her words made me frown though.
"Except it's the moon on our three month anniversary. Don't you ever stop and look at the moon? The stars? I mean, it looks down on us, on all of us... imagine the things it's seen, the stories it could tell. The lonely moon longs in silence," I thought of how it might be, looking down on the spread of history at all the things both small and great transpiring. "Imagine if it was a moonless night, or if there was no moon... wouldn't that be terrible, Mihoko?"
She growled at me, "I'm tired, Hiroshi... it's just the moon. I've had a long day, and I'm not in the mood for looking at things. I just want to go home."
I closed my mouth, saying nothing else. It wasn't long before we were in front of her door.
She brushed her bangs back as she looked down, blushing, "Hiroshi, I'm sorry about what I said a little while ago about the moon. I just- I don't know. Today didn't really go as well as I'd thought, and- well, I'm just sorry."
I nodded, smiling slightly, "It's okay, Mihoko. I know how you feel... I was just trying to cheer you up."
She squeezed my hand, "Thanks... I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
I nodded, giving her a quick kiss on the lips. Which turned into a longer kiss. She smacked me on the shoulder when I grabbed her rear. "Okay, okay, I'm going!" I smiled at her, and she smiled back. I felt warm again, which contrasted so oddly with the cold I'd felt for most of the night.
I walked back home touching my lips and wondering why I felt somehow numb.
