"High School Musical." says the nerd. "What a pile of f**king shit. It is one of the worst f**king movies I've ever seen. Just watching one of the music sequences makes me have suicidal thoughts. The characters are f**king annoying, the songs are ear-rapingly bad, and the whole movie so mindf**kingly lackluster. It even spawned two sequels and a spin-off. They all suck gorilla balls."

The nerd continues. "And just why the f**k did they even think to make a game based on this dog turd of a movie? I don't know. They were smoking crack through their ass or something. But anyway, let's play 'High School Musical: Making the Cut' for the DS."

The nerd puts the game in. The start-up menu shows as "Bop to the Top" plays in the background.

"God, I f**king hate this music. I really do." curses the nerd.

"So anyway, I go to Single Player Mode and I select Local because it's the only one available."

"The plot turns out to be that the Wildcats, the name of the group of friends that star in the movie, are entering a national dance competition. So, now you have to dance in all these pointless music stages that don't even have anything to do with the plot. It's like in Wario Ware, when in the middle of a character's story, you have to complete some five-second mini-games so that the story can continue. But in Wario Ware, it was fun. In this game, it's ass."

The nerd continues. "So the songs that you are forced to dance to are 'Bop to the Cock', 'Get'cha Head Up Your Ass', 'Breaking This Pile of Shit', 'Stick to the Bullshit Quo', and 'I Don't Dance To This Shit'. Every song sucks, and the worst part is that you have to do them over and over. It never…f**king…stops. I'd rather eat a mouse's dick than play this crap."

The nerd selects the first song.

"So, first, we're gonna do Bop to the Cock, since that's the first song." says the nerd. "We see two of the characters, Sharpay, the Paris Hilton bitch, and Ryan, who looks like the Irate Gamer's gay lover. The game play's a lot like those Japanese touch-rhythm games like 'Elite Beat Agents' or 'Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan', except that those games had better rhythm in the notes, but in this game, the notes are always a second-off. It's just stupid. And it gets even worse. These songs are not the original songs from the movie, but even worse versions! It's like pissing on a pile of shit!"

The nerd reaches the final song in Local mode.

"So, I've finally reached the end of Local mode. The final song is 'What I've Been Looking For', the Troy and Gabriella version. It sucks like the rest. So I finally beat it and…are you kidding me? I have to make a music video off it now? That's just assy! And I have to do everything right, too. If I don't, I fail. That's just retarded."

The nerd finally finishes.

"So I finally win and the Wildcats win and celebrate or something. So now I have to do the next part of the story, which is State mode, but if you want to find out what happens next, you'll have to pick it up yourself. Why? Because this game sucks monkey f**k, and I'm never f**king playing it again in my life!"

The nerd takes the HSM cart and takes a bat. He smashes the cart and it shatters into pieces.

"Next is "High School Musical: Living the Dream" for the Game Boy Advance. Let's see how this one does."

The nerd puts the GBA cartridge in his GBA slot in his DS.

"So, it's a platformer, where you must collect all the music notes and beat random blonde-haired, faceless, high-schoolers in dance competitions, and dodge possessed flying paper airplanes. This game speaks for itself. Next game."

The nerd takes out the cartridge and throws it out the window.

"Alright. Next game, 'High School Musical 2: Work This Out!' for the DS. The only thing that needs to be worked out here is the shit level!"

The nerd pops it into his DS and the game starts.

"This one's based on HSM2, an even bigger pile of shit than the first film. In fact, it was so bad, that even most HSM fans hated it. So upon getting to the title screen, it starts playing 'You are the Music in Me', which is another piece of shit song from the movie franchise. So, you play as Gabriella, who applies for a job as a lifeguard at Sharpay's dad's country club. The Adventure mode reminds me of the overworld of an RPG game, except confusing and moronic as hell. You have to play mini-games, like the one where you have to protect the swimmers from getting sunburnt by the pool. That's all the mini-games I've played, though. Because for the rest of the game, I'm stuck on what to do next. I'd rather drink snake piss while shoving an orangutan up my ass! I'd rather eat cow vomit out of a rhinoceros's asshole! And…UGGH!" yells the nerd. "Aren't there any better songs?!"

The nerd goes over to the jukebox and finds out about the Sharpay version. "AAAAAH!!" screams the nerd. "Stop! STOP!" The nerd goes to the stop button. "Oh. Thank god for silence!" The nerd goes back to the gameplay, only to hear the music playing again. He starts dropping F-bombs. "F**k this game, and f**k it to hell!"

The nerd takes the game and throws it against the wall, where it shatters into pieces. He then drinks a Rolling Rock.

"High School Musical 3: Senior Year on DS. Now we're really in deep shit."

The nerd pops the game in.

"God, were they smoking crack through their asses or something? Look at this! There's this white block thing with a face that eats music notes. It reminds me of the Jugem's Clouds from Super Mario Bros. 3. Anyway, after I complete the level, the game shows me how many points I earned while the characters jump like they're retards or something."

The nerd continues. "Next, I have to complete this personality test. I got to be honest. Despite the fact that these tests are kinda gay, I actually find them quite entertaining. But if I wanted a High School Musical personality test, I'd go online and do them myself! But I'll never do that! And you wanna know why? Because the movies suck ass! I'd rather eat monkey shit while 69ing a hog!"

"So that's it. All you do is dance, do personality tests, dance, and do more personality tests. Not as torturous as Superman 64's gameplay, but still repetitive nonetheless. The songs make my ears bleed more than the HSM1 and 2 songs, so it's getting its ass crushed!"

The nerd takes the game out. "High School Musical: Senior Year! More like 'High-Ass Shit-sicle: Linear Queer!"

The nerd takes out his katana. He throws the game in the air and slices it in half. He then sheathes his sword.

"That's it." says the nerd. "That's all the games, and, thankfully, the movies. Thank god the franchise has ended because one last shitty-ass HSM song may make me go deaf. Thank you for watching this review. Next time, we take a look at.."

Suddenly, Shit-Pickle comes in."Shit-Pickle!" says Shit-Pickle.

"What is it, Shit-Pickle?" asks the nerd.

Shit-Pickle gives the nerd a Hannah Montana DS game.

"No…" said the nerd. "It can't be…"

The nerd screams, it echoing throughout the entire Earth.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!"

To Be Continued…